


Realities Shared

by ElvenSister



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Emotions, Eventual Smut, F/M, Minor Character Death, Sexual Humor, Slow Build, Swearing, Tongue-in-cheek, random silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-05-15 09:24:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 54
Words: 126,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5780431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElvenSister/pseuds/ElvenSister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's so damn hard to gather a group of, well, nutters, and save the galaxy from big-headed monsters and their mosquito buddies when you're accompanied by a ridiculously sexy drell, who can make your knees go weak by just existing. But Robyn Shepard is trying.</p><p>--<br/>A story through ME2 and ME3 (and beyond).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Out of Control

There were three things that could stump Robyn Shepard. The first was dying, which had definitely left her with nothing to say. The second was the immeasurable stupidity of rational creatures, which could not be explained away. The third was, it now appeared, Thane Krios.

It had taken Robyn, Garrus, and Kasumi a long time to fight their way into the penthouse of one of the Dantius Towers. What they had seen during that fight… Well, it was safe to say that Robyn saw why someone (everyone) would want to kill Nassana Dantius. In Robyn’s opinion, anyone who named a building, let alone two, after themselves, had something seriously wrong in the head.

The fight had raised Thane Krios in Robyn’s estimation. The assassin had gone through the trouble of locking some of the workers away to protect their lives. It spoke volumes of his character that he was willing to protect the weak and the innocent from the stupidity of others. Such as Nassana. It had made Robyn grind her teeth when the bitch had suggested that they were alike. Like hell they were! Commander Shepard didn’t kill people because she thought them below her. She didn’t kill people because they were inconvenient or annoying or bothersome. She only killed when she had to, and even then she was fastidious.

All of this – all the adrenalin, all the anger, the rush of the fight – had died away when the slim figure had dropped gracefully from an air vent. With the fluid movements of a dancer, the assassin had done away with the three bodyguards of Nassana. The asari herself had been swiftly shot at close-range and gently laid to rest on the table. The evening sun had colored the sky into hues of orange, but it played mere scenery to the beauty that was Thane Krios bowed into prayer over his kill.

Robyn simply stared. Her mouth may have been hanging open.

There was a clang when the butt of Garrus’ gun hit Robyn’s armored back. That made her come to. She was sure that she heard Kasumi sniggering in the background. She shook her head decidedly and refocused on the figure before her. She had a job to do. Thane had already stopped praying.

“I was hoping to talk to you,” Robyn said.

“I can see that,” Thane replied, “I was curious to see how far you’d go to find me. Well, here I am.”

His voice was amazing. It made Robyn’s mouth water. It sounded like dirty promises made in darkness. Like velvet, chocolate, and erotica. Or anything else involving a bed. She gulped.

Get a hold of yourself, woman! Robyn told herself. She looked at the drell, who was inspecting her with a ghost of a smile on his full lips. Damn, he couldn’t know, what she was thinking, could he? To mask her confusion, Robyn explained the mission. That, at least, she could do – she had told the tale so many times that it was becoming a script in her head. Thane asked questions that made it obvious that he was well-informed.

“This was to be my last assignment. I’m dying.”

Robyn’s heart stopped.

“I wasn’t aware of that, sere Krios,” she said, “I’m very sorry. Is there something we can do?”

He waved her condolences away.

“It isn’t communicable and it won’t affect my work. You see now that low survival odds don’t concern me. The abduction of your colonists does.”

“The Normandy has an excellent medbay…”

“It’s being taken care of,” he replied, “The universe is a dark place. I’m trying to make it brighter before I die. Your mission offers me a chance to do that. I’ll work for you, Shepard. No charge.”

Thane offered his hand to Robyn and she took it. She looked deep into his dark eyes and felt shivers run all over her body. Their mission had just gotten a lot more interesting.

The way back down was much faster for obvious reasons. There was no need to make bodies anymore, only to dodge them.

“So, Shepard,” Garrus said, “Are we still going shopping tomorrow or what?”

“Or did you have something more… Interesting in mind, Shepard?” Kasumi asked.

“You bet, Garrus,” Robyn replied and decided to ignore the thief, “You wouldn’t believe the list I’ve gathered. Everyone wants something and it’s always something expensive. It’s a good thing that Cerberus is footing the bill. Otherwise, we’d have to survive on looting alone.”

“You shouldn’t dismiss looting,” Kasumi said, “There are treasures to be found that way.”

“Define looting,” Robyn said.

“Taking something someone has no use for anymore,” Kasumi replied.

“Even if it happens to be in a vault?”

“No one is using anything that’s in a vault, are they?”

Robyn rolled her eyes at the thief.

“Speaking of shopping,” she said, “Sere Krios, is there something you need? I want my crew to have the best equipment Cerberus’ dirty, terrorist money can buy.”

“You can call me Thane, commander,” he replied, “And since you’re offering, there are some things I’d find useful.”

“Everyone calls her Shepard,” Garrus said, “You should join us, Thane. It’s incredibly entertaining to watch her shop.”

“How so?” Thane asked.

“The way she smooth talks the salespeople… It’s unbelievable. Every freaking shop in the Citadel has her genuine voice saying, ‘I’m Commander Shepard and this is my favorite store on the Citadel’. You can walk around a level and hear it repeated four, five times. And no one complains because they all love the dead Spectre.”

“Come on, Garrus,” Robyn said, “You’re exaggerating.”

“Not one bit. And it’ll be even more of a spectacle here, because all the salespeople are asari. The asari love you.”

“Really? Because I distinctly remember many asari trying to kill me not that long ago. Or was that my PTSD playing up?”

“Okay, they were trying to kill you, but that’s just commandos and mercs. The regular ones love you.”

“He’s right, Shepard,” Kasumi said, “They do.”

“Yeah, I know,” Robyn admitted, “I never understood why.”

“Maybe thousand-year-old women just get you.”

“Thanks, Kasumi, that’s what every straight woman wants to hear,” Robyn said and turned to the drell to change the subject, “Thane, would you like to collect your things?”

“Yes, please. I’ll meet you at your ship in an hour,” he said and vanished into the crowd.

“How did he do that?” Robyn asked, “He didn’t even need a cloak.”

“Impressive,” Garrus agreed.

“You’re not the only one, who thinks that,” Kasumi said, “I believe Shepard was very pleased with the new addition to our group.”

“Is that why you froze when he came into view?” Garrus asked.

“I didn’t want to disturb his prayers so I went over the shopping list in my head,” Robyn replied, “It has grown out of control.”

“Your libido?” Kasumi suggested.

“The shopping list, Kasumi, the shopping list.”

“If that’s what you need to tell yourself.”

Robyn heard Garrus laugh.

“Oh, you think that’s funny? Wait until Tali comes aboard and I’ll tell miss Goto here about your The Fleet And The Flotilla re-enactments.”

“There was no… Fine, Shepard, I’ll be nice.”

“I smell gossip,” Kasumi thrilled, “I love it.”

\--

“Thane Krios is requesting entry, Commander,” EDI said.

“Let him in,” Robyn said and went to meet him.

The drell looked as good as she had remembered. His leathers hugged his amazing form in ways that should have made the outfit illegal. He was carrying a few weapons and a small bag that probably contained most of his possessions. Omnia mea mecum porto, Shepard thought. That was the soldier’s way as much as the philosopher’s. Going by what she had already witnessed, she guessed Thane to be both.

“Thane,” she said, “Welcome to the Normandy.”

“Thank you, Shepard.”

“Come on, let’s find a place for you to put your things and then I’ll show you around.”

Thane nodded and they headed towards the elevator. They didn’t make it that far before they ran into Jacob, who asked them to step into the briefing room. As soon as the door was closed, he launched into a tirade about how untrustworthy assassins were. Robyn managed to be polite and to diffuse the situation regardless of the fact that she was majorly pissed off at the Cerberus operative.

Robyn took Thane into the most arid part of the ship, as was his request. He put his things down and followed patiently as Robyn showed him around the ship and introduced him to everyone. She could tell that she wasn’t the only one, who was taken by his appearance.

“As Garrus said, you are welcome to join us for shopping tomorrow,” she said when the tour was over, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Shepard.”

The way he said her name made goosebumps appear on her skin. She smiled at him and hurried to the elevator. She’d need to find some sort of serenity for when he was around. She couldn’t fight the Collectors if her libido went out of control… No, shopping list. Damn you, Kasumi!

\--

“Just as good as I promised it would be?”

Thane glanced at the amused turian next to him and returned his gaze to Shepard and the salesclerk.

“Better,” he replied.

He’d already spent half the day accompanying Garrus and Shepard and had found it more pleasant than he’d thought he would. He’d been on his own for so long that he’d almost forgotten how nice it was to have colleagues. No, friends, because that was clearly what the two were. They bantered lightheartedly and included him in the discussion, more often than not to tease the other.

Thane looked at Shepard, who was browsing the wares of yet another salesperson, who she’d convinced to give her a discount. He considered the Spectre. He’d naturally known of her, everyone had. She was a hero, a legend, the first human Spectre. Her tragic past was well-known. She had seen too many people die around her. It might have surprised some people to know this, when they met her, but not Thane. He was no stranger to loss. He had to admit that the animated and friendly woman didn’t look like the scarred veteran she had to be.

She certainly didn’t act like one. She acted like she believed in the future. She made an asari cry and change her mind about cruelty to sick humans. After that and some more shopping, she talked another asari into making her mind about her krogan boyfriend.

“Damn,” she said, when the couple had departed, “I had to work so hard not to go, ‘Awwww’ at those two. They would have ripped me apart.”

“You wanted to go, ‘Awwww’ at a krogan?” Garrus asked. His subvocals spoke of disbelief.

“You didn’t? He was reciting poetry! He’d said that he loved her and that he’d also love their daughters, even if they were blue.”

“That’s, what you’re looking for in a man, is it?” Garrus asked, “The tendency to recite poetry and to love blue women?”

“No, you ass,” she replied and shoved him, “I’m saying that they’re cute. Together. But I don’t expect you to understand. I’ll tell Tali. She’ll love it.”

“I’d pay to watch you try to explain that to Grunt,” Garrus said.

“Really? How much?”

They started bickering about the price and Thane found that he was smiling at them. They hadn’t landed on a price before they arrived at the bar. The conversation met a wall when they spotted a slave broker. Shepard went rigid and rushed to the woman to tell her to free her slave at once. There was a heated discussion about the terms and conditions of indentured service. Shepard appeared calm but Thane assumed that she was anything but on the inside. Slavery must have hit too close to home. When Shepard found out that there was something that could be done, she jumped to it. It took her no time at all to talk it all out. In the end, everyone was happy. A company got a facelift, the slave broker got rid of a slave, and the slave was freed.

“Well done, Shepard,” Thane said.

She gave him a tired smile and walked to the bar. In a matter of moments, she was chatting with the asari matron, who was running the bar. She asked the woman about her long life. It sounded like it had been eventful.

“Silly dad, he always thought that women liked scars. Me, I go for asses,” the matron said.

“I know what you mean,” Shepard replied and nodded, probably in appreciation of some nice ass.

Shepard ordered drinks for them all and called the rest of the crew to come and join them. They took a booth and sat down. Some of the people from the Normandy joined them shortly.

“Do assassins always work alone?” Shepard asked.

“Mostly,” Thane replied, “To an assassin, stealth is vital. It’s difficult to be stealthy with a large group.”

“Especially, if the group contains Shepard,” Kasumi said, “Or Garrus. Or Grunt. Or…”

“Yes, we get it, you’re invisible and shit,” Jack replied and took a large gulp from her drink.

“We saw how you disappeared into thin air yesterday, Thane,” Shepard said, “That was impressive. I have no stealth in me. I’ve tried and failed. I’m more of the ‘rush at them and beat them up’ persuasion.”

“Why change your tactics, if it works, right?” Jack commented.

“Krogans don’t do stealth,” Grunt stated, “We don’t need it.”

“Mordin would be great at stealth… If he could keep the trash talk to a minimum,” Shepard said and looked at the doctor meaningfully.

“Trash talk? Don’t trash talk. High morale important for success, also in fighting. Do the same when researching,” Mordin replied.

“You say, ‘Didn’t think I was dangerous, did you?’ to genes?” Shepard asked with incredulity, “That’s it. When we hit the Normandy, I’m asking EDI for the vids from your lab.”

“I want to see it, too,” Garrus said.

Thane looked around the group of people. It was heterogeneous but, somehow, they had been gathered together to work for the same goal. Shepard had done that. It was clear that she was the glue that held them together, who balanced the different personalities and found a way to build them into a team. She was a leader, no doubt about it. The world owed Cerberus for bringing her back from the shores of Kalahira. And she was all the more powerful for returning from them.

\--

Robyn helped the drunk Jack back to her bed. She was feeling the pull to the bed herself, but she wanted to make one more stop before turning in. She took the elevator one floor up and walked to Thane’s door. She asked for entry. Before long, the door opened, revealing Thane. He was naked to the waist. She got a good look at his toned muscles and interesting colors before she was able to pull herself together and raise her gaze. At least he hadn’t said, ‘Eyes up here, Shepard,’ though he looked like he’d thought it.

“I’m sorry to bother you at this hour,” she said, somewhat dishonestly, “I was wondering if you’d like to come with us tomorrow when we’ll go search for the justicar.”

“As you wish, Shepard,” he said, “A justicar will be joining us, then? I’ve heard of them, of course, but I’ve never met one. You are gathering a most interesting crew, commander.”

“We’ll need the best to stop the Collectors,” she replied, though she was sometimes doubtful of her own place in that lot.

Her face must have betrayed her to Thane’s observant eyes.

“Is something wrong, Shepard?”

“No, Thane, thank you, nothing’s wrong. I’ll let you get some sleep. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Shepard.”

Damn that voice, Robyn thought, as she walked into the elevator. Tomorrow it was going to be whispering into her earpiece. She was in trouble.

“Are you alright, Shepard?” EDI asked, “Your body temperature spiked.”

“It must have something to do with the upgrades Cerberus did. I’d get used to it, if I were you. There are going to be many more spikes like that in the future.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Omnia mea mecum porto", I carry with me all my things. It means that your most important possessions are within your mind.
> 
> "Me, I go for asses,” the matron said.  
> “I know what you mean,” Shepard replied.  
> This dialogue was brought to you by StealthSister. Thanks, sis!


	2. Cute?

”I like the sound of this justicar,” Robyn said in the cab.

“Are you serious?” Jack asked.

“Yeah. You should know when I’m being sarcastic or I’m doing it wrong.”

“That cop made her sound pretty badass,” Jack admitted, “But also a tightass.”

“She said that the justicars are like warrior monks,” Robyn said, “That speaks to me. I love old school Chinese movies. There are these absolutely awesome warriors, who can take down entire armies by themselves, just kicking and flying and slashing. I wonder if the justicar has a sword. That would be so cool.”

“Who brings a sword to a gunfight?” Jack asked.

“People, who have spent years honing their skills,” Thane said, “Though, I admit, it doesn’t seem prudent. There are easier ways to take lives that need to be taken.”

Robyn considered his statement for a moment.

“Thane, you’re an assassin,” she said, “You know how to use a sword, don’t you?”

Jack let out a dirty laugh.

“You’re dying to find out, aren’t you, Shep?”

Robyn wished that Thane wasn’t aware of what blushing meant. And that he’d missed Jack’s meaning, as unlikely as that seemed.

“I’ve had some training,” Thane replied, “But I’m afraid my skills have grown rusty by the lack of practice.”

By the sounds Jack was making, Robyn assumed that she was choking in the backseat. Robyn was happy when they reached the destination. She’d amused Jack enough for one day.

The local populace wasn’t as eager to meet the justicar as Robyn was. That was no surprise – they were on Illium, after all. The cop responsible for tracking Samara was in a bad spot. If the justicar did anything justicar-like, the officer would have to arrest her, which would end badly for the officer. Justicars had no use for the law; they had their code. When Robyn suggested that surely the officer could disobey such a blatantly lethal order, Jack and Thane started wisecracking. Fantastic.

Robyn glared at her team and headed towards the crime scene where Samara should be found. They were in a firefight in a matter of moments.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t we supposed to be at a crime scene? Don’t they usually mark those after the crime has happened, not before it?” Robyn asked before rushing into one of the mercs.

“Maybe they do things differently on Illium,” Jack replied and fired her shotgun.

“It seems that the justicar is not the only one interested in this crime,” Thane replied.

“But there were officers outside the door,” Robyn pointed out, “The police work here seems pretty weak to me.”

Only one of the mercs had made it into the actual crime scene and even she was quickly taken down by Samara. Robyn took in the justicar. The asari was powerful and eerily beautiful. Her security in her beliefs made her appear certain and calm. Robyn felt like she had met the female version of Thane. They even wore similarly form-fitting clothing. Damn. Robyn felt sure that she had no chance next to someone like Samara.

Robyn decided that she could wallow in self-pity later. She had a job to do and she was more likely to succeed in it if she recruited Samara. It turned out to be more difficult than she’d thought. An impressive speech about the missing colonists wasn’t enough. They needed to storm an Eclipse base in search for a single piece of information. An Eclipse base full of a toxic chemical, no less. So business as usual.

It came as a surprise to no one that Eclipse mercs were not content to sit and wait while their base was taken. They attacked in seemingly endless waves. Needless to say that it ended badly for them. They should have done the same thing as the single smart asari in the whole damn building – to hide away. Robyn remembered what the volus had said about every Eclipse killing for their uniform, but she decided to give the woman a chance. Everyone made mistakes.

“Either of you know something about these Ardat-Yakshi?” Robyn asked after the asari had scrambled away and they were climbing the stairs.

“I’ve heard them mentioned once before,” Thane replied, “I got the impression that they’re some sort of asari bogeymen, if you’ll allow the term.”

“The stuff of asari fairytales?”

“Perhaps.”

“Which means that, in human terms, we have a warrior monk chasing a monster,” Robyn said, “That sounds like a movie.”

“Well, we’re about to go tripping,” Jack said. She’d reached the next floor. “That toxin the wheezer mentioned? It’s all over this place. I feel fucking empowered.”

“That feeling comes with a prize,” Robyn reminded her, “Let’s deal with these suckers quickly and move on before the stuff gets to us too much.”

The fight wasn’t long, but Robyn’s head was swimming by the time it was over. The others looked rattled, too, even the usually composed Thane.

“Let’s take a moment. We need a breather,” Robyn said, “Meanwhile, I’ll hack that terminal.”

Robyn walked to the terminal with a mad grin on her face. She loved stealing from criminals. It had a sort of karmic justice to it. Her father would be so proud.

“There is no more deeply moving experience than cheating a cheater,” she quoted.

“You really need to get laid, Shep,” Jack said.

“What? Where did that come from?”

“If you think that stealing from mercs is the best feeling in the world, you’ve forgotten, what sex feels like,” Jack stated, “Back me up here, mister assassin.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Thane said, “The drell have perfect memory. We could never forget, what sex feels like.”

“You do? That’s… Awesome and awful,” Robyn said, “There are some things I’d rather forget.”

“Instead of what sex feels like?” Jack suggested.

“I haven’t forgotten that!” Robyn insisted. Or had she? It had been… A. Very. Very. Very. Long. Time. Granted, she’d been dead for two years of that time, but still…

The credits weren’t the only thing to be gained from the base. They also found out that the asari they’d allowed to walk away was the one responsible for the dead volus.

“Damn.”

“That officer will want to see this,” Thane said, “Maybe it’ll help her.”

“I sure didn’t,” Robyn replied.

“You couldn’t have known,” Thane comforted her, “There’s no shame in showing mercy, Shepard.”

They continued onwards. The base was littered with the chemical Pitne For had sold to the Eclipse. Robyn could see why they had used it. If it wasn’t toxic, it’d be great stuff. “Fucking empowered” was the correct way to describe how it made her feel. Her biotics had never been so great. Jack’s biotics were far beyond hers which meant that the woman was a walking force of destruction. Thane was bringing the rear, so Robyn didn’t see him often, but whenever she caught a glimpse of the assassin, he was engulfed in blue shimmer. He looked like a celestial being, something out of dreams. Dirty ones.

Robyn was irrationally angry at the mercs, who kept demanding her attention away from Thane. She could have looked at him all day long, but, sadly, she also had to kill idiots. C’est la vie, she thought and sighed before jumping at a batarian merc and shooting him in the balls with a shotgun.

“Some unresolved issues there, Shep?”

“Pot calling the kettle black, Jack.”

“Point taken.”

In time, it became evident that Eclipse had been doing very well for itself.

“Gunship,” Robyn said, “Lovely.”

They ducked for cover and took shots at the machine. Robyn grabbed her grenade launcher and let it sing. The gunship went down like a rock.

“Have I ever told you that I love my grenade launcher?”

“Too much information, Shep,” Jack said.

“How do you… I didn’t mean it like that and you know it, Jack. I just meant that that thing went down like a-“

“Marine on shore leave?” Jack suggested.

“If you say so.”

They got up from cover and continued further into the base. They had to be close to the heart of the thing. You didn’t employ your biggest weapon until you had to. The next hallway didn’t contain a badass merc captain, though. It had a volus, who was as high as a kite.

“I am a biotic god!” he proclaimed.

Robyn was having trouble keeping herself from laughing as the little guy went on about the mighty wind and the smell of greatness. A gentle tap on the neck made him fall over and lose his train of thought. He agreed to take a nap before attacking the leader of the mercs.

“That was… Surreal,” she said, after the door had closed behind the volus.

“He doesn’t deserve to live,” Jack said.

“Oh, come on, he’s on drugs,” Robyn said, “Probably didn’t even do it to himself. He had no business going into a difficult fight. Volus can be fearsome fighters, I’ve seen that, but that biotic god needs to clear his head before doing anything else.”

In the end, it was fortunate that the volus hadn’t come with them. The merc leader was a badass asari, who was already pissed at everything and everyone. She would have annihilated the poor volus. She’d also, luckily, had the information Robyn had been looking for.

They returned to the police station with all the information. Samara was happy to know the name of the ship that had transported the Ardat-Yakshi. She promised to follow Robyn and swore an oath to that effect. The officer was happy to get the justicar out of her hair and to get the information about the murder of the volus.

\--

It was dinner time at the Normandy. The ground crew was gathered together to enjoy their meal. Robyn looked around the group of people, who were willing to risk their lives to save others. It was a motley crew of badasses. Pretty ones, at that.

Robyn had never really thought about it before, but Thane’s presence had made her think many things differently. What she realized was that she was doomed to be the plain Jane of the bunch. Samara, Miranda, Jack, Kasumi… They were all beautiful in their own way. And not afraid to showcase it. Samara was an asari matriarch. Miranda was genetically perfect, as she had put it. And Jack had striking features – guys had to love her big eyes and full lips. And the fact that she wore next to nothing. They all did, except for Kasumi, who had her thiefly charm with a twinkle in the eye.

Robyn wandered if it was an adept thing to shun clothing. She was biotic, true, but she wasn’t an adept. Maybe the adepts were so good at shields and stuff that they had no use for armor. It would only slow them down. Jacob was an adept, too, and his suit was more skintight leather than proper armor. Come to think of it, Robyn, Garrus, Grunt, and Zaeed were the only ones, who wore armor. The others made do without. They looked like civilians, who could also kick ass, without even trying. It seemed unfair. Though, even if she had been able to, Robyn still wouldn’t have worn what the others did. She didn’t have the confidence to do it. Or the boobs, for that matter. And if she spent any length of time with Miranda, she began to feel that she was flossing, too. That wasn’t a feeling you wanted to experience on the battlefield.

The mention of her name brought Robyn out of her thoughts.

“Oh, did Shepard tell you about her love of the grenade launcher?” Jack asked.

Garrus’ expression was priceless.

“Not heard of that. Must be a lesser-known perversity. Humans so obsessed with sex, have too many to list,” Mordin said.

“Who doesn’t love a grenade launcher?” Grunt asked, “It’s a big gun. What’s not to love?”

“That’s what he said,” Kasumi said and giggled.

“What? Why are you laughing, human?” Grunt asked.

“Don’t worry about it, Grunt,” Robyn said, “Get back to your grub.”

“You’ll get it one day, youngster,” Zaeed said, “When you’re all grown up.”

“I am grown up,” Grunt said, sounding like a stubborn child.

“Yes, you are,” Robyn said, “Now, you should finish your food and go watch that Blasto vid like a grownup. I’ll stop by before you go to sleep, alright?”

“Yes, Shepard.”

They finished the meal and some of them left to spend their evening elsewhere.

“You make a great mom, Shepard,” Kasumi said and earned a glare from Robyn.

“How did you end up with a krogan, who respects you like a parent?” Thane asked.

“Now, that’s a goddamn great story,” Zaeed said and launched into a recitation of the tale of how they had come to pick up Grunt.

“You had a tankful of krogan in the Normandy,” Thane said when Zaeed had finished, “How did you go from that to having Grunt in your team?”

“Shepard opened the tank. Alone. Without telling anyone,” Garrus said. He’d been really mad at Robyn for doing that. He’d actually yelled at her for her stupidity after he’d seen the marks Grunt had left on her neck.

“I have to say, Shepard, that lacks your usual planning,” Thane said carefully.

“It all worked out in the end,” Robyn replied with a shrug.

“Not before he’d attacked you and strangled you,” Garrus said sourly.

“He wouldn’t have been able to do anything worse than that,” Robyn said, “I had a gun at his quads.”

“You didn’t tell that to me before. That’s the same move you pulled on Wrex, if my memory serves me,” Garrus said and grinned, “Good going, Shepard. Krogans respect power.”

“And now you have a baby krogan,” Kasumi said, “That’s so cute.”

“There it is again,” Garrus said, “How come you human women keep calling krogan cute? Shepard did that earlier with the asari-krogan couple.”

“Do tell,” Kasumi said.

“He recited poetry to her,” Robyn said, “He said he loved her and would love their blue daughters.”

“That is cute,” Kasumi affirmed.

“How is it cute?” Garrus demanded to know.

“When someone, who is big and scary, acts sincerely like they are not,” Robyn said, “When someone like that says something mushy and romantic. Or something sweet. That’s cute.”

“That sounds about right,” Kasumi said.

“Does that mean that I’m cute?” Garrus asked.

“Yes, but for different reasons,” Robyn replied and Kasumi nodded.

“I don’t understand you women,” Garrus said.

“That’s why you’re cute.”

“I think I’ve had about as much cuteness as I can deal with. Later,” Zaeed said and left.

Garrus looked at the two men, who remained at the table.

“How do these two rate on the cuteness scale?” he asked.

“They don’t,” Kasumi replied, “Mordin is loveable and Thane is hot.”

Robyn nodded firmly. She completely agreed with Kasumi’s assessment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "There is no more deeply moving religious experience than cheating a cheater" is a quote from Maverick.
> 
> I'm surprised that this story has already found some readers. Thanks for reading and feedback, both are greatly appreciated!


	3. Much Ado about A Skylight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts with a panic attack. If you are prone to those and describing one might trigger it, you should skip a few lines.

Robyn fought against the feeling of being suffocated. She told herself that she was having a panic attack. She was in no danger, this was all in her head. There was nothing wrong with her lungs. There was plenty of air in the room. She was fine. She was safe.

Robyn sat up and focused her attention on the first thing that caught her gaze – the holo of her family. They were all smiling. She looked at it and only it and concentrated on breathing. Little by little, she was able to take longer breaths and breathe deeper and deeper. Finally, she was certain that the panic attack had passed.

“Commander, are you alright?” EDI asked, “Do you need me to alert doctor Chakwas or doctor Solus?”

“Thanks, EDI, but that won’t be necessary.”

Robyn closed her eyes and leaned her head into her hands. Fucking Cerberus! If she’d only suspected them of being evil, the fucking skylight would have made her certain of the fact. Who puts a bloody skylight over the bed of someone, who’s been spaced?

To the rest of the world, it had been over two years since her death. To her, it had only been a few months. She had gone through the ultimate trauma. People got sent to therapy for less. Hell, they got sent to mental infirmaries for less. The Alliance would have sent her to counseling after coming back from the death. You could say what you wanted about the Alliance, but at least they had policies for stuff like this. What had Cerberus done? Given her a skylight and sent her to get more traumatized.

Not that Robyn was particularly fond of therapy; she wasn’t. But after two stints, she would grudgingly admit that therapy had its uses. She could have used some right about now.

“EDI?”

“Yes, commander?”

“How well-versed are you in the functioning of the human psyche?”

“I have extensive information on the subject,” EDI replied, “But I cannot say that I understand how the human mind works. The information shows that there are varied differences between persons. These differences can be explained by genetic divergence and the variance of life experiences but they make it difficult to predict how a human being will react in a given situation.”

“You’re not qualified to work as a shrink, then.”

“No. Would you like me to ask Yeoman Chambers to come and talk to you?”

“If you sic Chambers on me, I swear, I’ll find a way to destroy you,” Robyn said.

“Understood. Goodnight, commander.”

Robyn didn’t feel like sleeping. She was still pumped up with adrenalin because of the episode. There was only one thing she could think of doing. She got up and searched the cabinet for her jogging gear. She changed into the tights and top and put on her running shoes. She grabbed a water bottle and headphones before heading to the elevator.

The gym, if you could call it that, was in the shuttle bay. It had several treadmills. Robyn turned one on, set the pace, and put her headphones on before jumping on the thing. You didn’t really need headphones in this day and age, but Robyn liked the way they separated her from the rest of the world. Jogging had been her solace for years. At her pace, she could do it for a long, long time. She loved it. When she jogged, there was no need to concentrate on anything else but the music and how good it felt to jog. The galaxy wasn’t in danger. She wasn’t the woman responsible for saving it. She wasn’t working with terrorists. She hadn’t been laughed at by the councilors. She was just someone, who was jogging while listening to good music. Robyn smiled and let the world fade away.

\--

Thane was stirred by the sound of the elevator. It was a skill and a survival trait for an assassin to be aware of the incongruences in their environment. The elevator moving during the night cycle was just that.

Thane replayed the sound in his head. The elevator had moved from the top to the bottom floor. What business would anyone have there at this time? It would be difficult to sabotage anything because of the AI that would inform the others about suspicious activity. Speaking of the AI…

“EDI,” Thane said, “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong.”

“Why did the elevator move?”

“The commander went into the shuttle bay to run.”

“Thank you, EDI.”

Thane debated himself for a moment. He was curious about Shepard. He knew the legend, but he wanted to know the woman. Everything he’d seen thus far had made him want to learn more. It was possible that she’d prefer to be by herself at this hour, but it was also possible that she needed help. She must need rest, yet, there she was, working out when she was supposed to be sleeping.

Thane made his decision. He exchanged his leathers for a comfortable pair of sweatpants and exercise shoes. He grabbed a water bottle from the mess before taking the elevator down.

After the elevator door opened, Thane spotted Shepard instantly. She was running on a treadmill, her back turned to him. He walked closer to her and admired her form. He realized that he’d never seen her in so scant clothing before. She wore armor almost all the time and the uniform she wore aboard the ship was conservative next to the attires the other women tended to prefer.

The tight leggings hugged her toned legs and shapely bottom. The top left some of her ivory skin visible and displayed the shape of her figure in a very enticing way. Thane felt something stirring in his chest, a burning that had been dormant for a long time. He pushed it away and quickened his steps. He had not come here to lust after her. He’d come to get to know her, maybe to help her.

Thane took the treadmill next to her, set it for his pace, and began his exercise. When Shepard noticed the movement, she turned to look at him, took her headphones off, and gave him a blissful smile that didn’t help Thane in pushing away the burning she had awakened. Neither did the way she had to pry her eyes away from his bare torso.

“Shepard,” he said and nodded.

“Do you have trouble sleeping?” she asked, looking suddenly concerned.

“Not at all.”

“Just felt like a run in the middle of the night cycle?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” he said. He didn’t want to tell her that she’d woken him up. He instinctually knew that giving her that piece of information would keep her from ever coming down to the gym to work on her horrors during the night cycle. He didn’t want that.

“Fair enough,” she replied.

Thane looked at Shepard from the corner of his eye. She was running at a decent pace but she was hardly out of breath. The easiness of her gait and the position of her waist set her down as an experienced runner. That was good news. If she was willing to talk, she would be able to do so.

“Are you running away from something or simply running?” Thane asked.

“Bit of both, I guess,” she replied, “There are so many things to run away from, these days. It’s only a matter of picking and choosing.”

“Really? Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t you usually run at your enemies, not away from them?”

Shepard laughed at his comment, just like he’d hoped.

“Yes, I do. You are very perceptive.”

“I am an assassin.”

“Very true,” she replied, “If you don’t mind me asking, is it a common practice among assassins to pray for your prey? Or is it just you?”

“There are different ways of doing things,” he replied, “My practice comes from my worldview. I think that even the wicked, amongst which I count myself, deserve to have someone pray for them.”

“Would you tell me about your religion? I’m not familiar with the name of the god you mentioned earlier.”

Thane obliged gladly. He told her about the old ways and what he believed. She listened, asked questions, and made comparisons to some human religions. It didn’t surprise him that humans had similar ideas as the drell. Some truths were universal. He asked her about her religion and she explained some of the basic ideas. They started comparing their ideologies and found several tenets that they shared.

“Do you know the story about the five blind men and the elephant?” Shepard asked him.

“I can’t say that I do,” he said, “What’s an elephant?”

Shepard stopped her treadmill and searched the extranet for a picture of the creature. She projected it to him with her omnitool. It was a big animal with large ears, huge feet, and a long nose.

“There were these five blind men, who wanted to know, what an elephant was,” she said, “They went into a zoo and asked the zookeepers if they could touch one to find out, what it was like. The zookeeper agreed and took them to a tame elephant that would not be bothered by so many people poking at it. The men all walked to the elephant and felt it with their hands. They were satisfied and went away. When they were later asked, what an elephant was, they all had different answers, because they’d all felt different parts of the creature. And they were all right, though no one’s answer was complete.”

Shepard turned the treadmill off and began stretching. Thane remarked that she was very bendy.

“I don’t have your memory, so I can’t remember, where I heard that story,” she said, “But I think it’s a good comparison about how people experience the world. It’s the same world for everyone, but we interpret it in different ways according to our experiences.”

“I agree,” he said, “It also teaches that if we discuss our understanding of the elephant, we’ll get closer to the whole truth together. But what’s a zoo?”

Shepard explained the idea of zoos and zookeepers to him. By the time she was done, she was also done stretching.

“Thank you, Thane,” she said, “I’ve enjoyed this, but I should go to bed now. As should you.”

“As have I, Shepard,” he replied and shut off his treadmill.

He turned towards the elevator and saw that Shepard looked hesitant.

“Shepard? Is there something I can do for you?”

She looked at him. Her expression was lacking her usual certainty.

“You’re good at climbing, right?”

\--

Thane sat on his cot, thinking about all that had happened. When Shepard had asked him, if he could cover up the skylight in her room, he’d thought that she’d been joking. The fact that she hadn’t been smiling had made him think otherwise. He’d promised to help her, which had gained him a heartfelt thank you.

They’d taken the elevator to the top floor and she’d opened the door for them. He’d never been in the captain’s cabin before. It really did have a skylight. Thane wasn’t a man easily angered, but the skylight in the commander’s room had made his wrath burn. The second he’d seen it, he’d known that it had been planned. The Illusive Man had meant to test Shepard, to keep her on her toes, to remind her, what would happen, if she failed. He’d meant to remind her that she owed Cerberus. Owed him. Bastard.

Shepard had gone around the room looking for the things Thane would need to cover the window. She’d found a blanket and some old-fashioned tape. Thane had looked around for possible footholds. He’d come up with a way to climb up, but he wouldn’t be able to attach the thing with one hand, so that was out. He’d thought of other ways of accomplishing the task. Only one had stood out.

“You should do it,” he’d said, “You can climb on my shoulders and attach it yourself.”

“Are you… Are you sure you can support my weight?” Shepard had asked, “I’m no wilting flower, you know.”

Thane had only smiled and sat on the bed so that she could climb on. She’d shrugged and gotten on his shoulders. He’d taken hold of her and gotten slowly up. He hadn’t been able to look up to see what she’d been doing, but she’d made a quick work of the problem.

Thane had been very thankful of his quick reflexes, when Shepard had lost her balance, probably due to her tiredness. She’d fallen, but he had caught her without difficulty. She had ended up in his lap, looking him straight into the eye. Thane had never expected to see the legendary Shepard so baffled. She’d looked so endearing that he’d found himself smiling more widely than he had in a long time.

“Sorry,” she’d finally said, “I’m not known for my gracefulness.”

“I thought you fell very gracefully.”

“Are you making fun of me?”

“Just a little.”

“You’re a quick study, Thane. It takes most people more than a couple of days with my team before they feel comfortable enough to laugh at the legendary Commander Shepard.”

“So, three days is the usual cut-off before the ribbing starts?”

“There you go again.”

Thane had put Shepard gently down. She’d run her hand through her hair once and looked at the skylight. It hadn’t been visible any more.

“It doesn’t matter,” she’d said, “You’ve helped me more than you can imagine. Thank you, Thane, really. I owe you one. As far as I’m concerned, you’re welcome to crack jokes about me as much as you please.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, Shepard,” he’d said and turned to leave, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Thane laid down on his cot and remembered, what it had felt like to hold Shepard in his arms. He remembered her warmth, the shape of her body, her scent. It had been so long since he’d held someone in his arms. It had felt… Wonderful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Much Ado About Nothing" is a play by Shakespeare, but you knew that.
> 
> That story about the elephant and the blind men I'v heard told/read several times. I think many different versions exist. It isn't my own invention, I just thought it worked there.
> 
> I'd like to point out that I wouldn't know about that skylight if it wasn't for StealthSister. I simply don't notice stuff like that. Once, we hit a mall neither of us had been to before. Sis said, "Now, there's a clock no one could miss." Me, "What clock?" It was a freaking six-foot glass clock on the ceiling.
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos, comments, and bookmarks!


	4. Normandy Normalcy

”Good morning.”

Robyn looked up from her breakfast and smiled at Thane, who took the seat opposite her. The mess was filling up, but the table usually occupied by the ground crew was still rather empty. Many of them liked to sleep in. Robyn was secretly happy that it was Thane, who sat in front of her. He was much nicer to look at and to listen to than some other members of the ground crew.

Garrus, who was sitting to Robyn’s right, nodded at Thane and continued eating. Robyn tried hard not to look Garrus’ breakfast so that it would not put her off hers.

“Good morning, Thane,” she said, “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, I did, Shepard. And you?”

“Eventually, yes,” she replied.

Robyn attempted to hold off her blush but could feel it creeping up on her. Damn her fair skin! She could practically hear Kasumi grinning at her from the corner of the table. Robyn had had the most amazing dreams, probably thanks to the time spent with the drell just before going to bed. She could remember vividly, what it had felt like to be held in his arms. That memory had inspired some very… Exciting things to spring up from her subconscious during the night. 

“What do we have lined up for today, Shepard?” Garrus asked.

Robyn could have kissed her friend, though she had a feeling that the gesture would have been misunderstood.

“We are going to visit Omega,” she replied.

“What? Why?” Garrus asked.

“When we were springing you out, Archangel,” she said, emphasizing the last word, and gave him a meaningful glance, “We found out that the mercs were planning to take down Aria. That’s the kind of thing she’ll want to know. I like the idea of having Aria T’Loak owe us a favor.”

“Excuse me,” Thane said, “Am I to understand that you are the Archangel, who crippled every major mercenary group on Omega?”

“That’s me,” Garrus said with a grin, “But I’d like to point out that I didn’t come up with the name myself.”

“That’s impressive,” Thane said.

“I agree,” Robyn said and punched Garrus’ shoulder, “And after almost single-handedly taking down all those mercs, he took a rocket to the face and lived to tell the tale and boast with the scar. What we have here, my dear assassin, is the most badass turian in the whole bloody galaxy.”

“I wouldn’t know about that,” Garrus said awkwardly. He wasn’t good with taking compliments.

“Oh, come on, quit being so modest,” Robyn said, “You’re the toughest son of a bitch I know. You could probably take me down. Almost.”

“I could most definitely take you down, Shepard,” Garrus replied, “As you recall, I’m way, way ahead in kills.”

“That’s not fair! I spent two years dead while you were taking on all of Omega! We should restart the count.”

“Doesn’t matter to me,” Garrus said, “I’ll beat you, no matter how we play.”

“Game on, Vakarian.”

“Bring it, Shepard.”

They returned to their respective breakfasts. Thane looked between them, but didn’t say anything. Kasumi seemed amused, as usual, and Grunt hadn’t noticed anything on account of being very concentrated on eating. Jacob appeared to care little about what the others were doing or saying. Robyn had gotten the distinct impression that he disapproved of the way she treated her team as equals. When she’d tried to get to know the guy, he hadn’t been forthcoming or volunteered anything about himself. If he didn’t want to talk, Robyn wouldn’t force him. He could live by the weapon bench and dream about the good old days with Miranda or whatever it was that he did there all day. Maybe he was really into guns, who knew?

“EDI?” Robyn said.

“Yes, commander?”

“Erase the running kill count Garrus and I have kept, please. We’ll be starting a new one.”

“Very well, commander. Will anyone else be joining you?”

“Little competitiveness good for team spirit. Wish to support it. Will join. Also, will beat you all,” Mordin said.

“Not if I partake,” Thane stated.

“Dream on, boys, because I’ll collect the prize,” Kasumi said, “There will be a prize, right?”

“We’ll think of something,” Robyn said, “You know, what? EDI, keep a record for the whole ground team.”

“Of course.”

“Who’ll get to start today? Because you won’t be able to visit Omega without killing someone,” Garrus said.

“Let’s see,” Robyn said, “Jack and Thane were with me on the last trip, so they are out. As are you, Archangel. If they spot you walking around, they’ll realize that the rumors about your death were exaggerated and they’ll come after you.”

“Let them come,” Garrus replied, “That just means more kills for me.”

“I’d rather not waste ammo on mercs when we could be killing collectors,” Robyn said, “You should be pleased, you know. They are much easier targets for you with those big heads. It’s almost impossible not to headshot.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Shepard,” Garrus said, “I’m sure you could pull it off.”

“Ha, ha, smart guy. You are making me more and more convinced that you quoted lines from the Fleet and the Flotilla to charm Tali.”

“You wound me, Shepard.”

“Sorry, you must have me confused with a gunship.”

“Well, you have the same subtlety.”

Robyn rolled her eyes at Garrus. She liked that he was returning to the person he used to be before her death. She’d never have thought that her death would change the lives of her friends so drastically. Garrus had become disturbingly sad and more serious. Liara had left her innocence completely behind. Robyn wished that she could help them somehow, to make up for the suffering her death had caused them.

“I think that Grunt and Mordin will accompany me today,” Robyn said, “The rest of you can spend your time as you please. Training wouldn’t be a bad idea since the competition will be fierce.”

“Thanks, Shepard,” Grunt said, “It’s going to be a good day if I get to kill something.”

“You’re going with Shepard. It’s a guarantee,” Thane said and got a laugh.

\--

It turned out that Thane had been right. Informing Aria about the conspiracy didn’t cause any bloodshed – not any which included them, at least. But one of Aria’s henchmen asked them to protect her trophy krogan, which was a little trickier. Robyn may or may not have tipped the balance of power on Omega, when she promised to act as the krogan’s krantt and kill the mercs, who were gunning for him. She’d felt sorry for the poor bastard. Aria wasn’t pleased, but she wasn’t exactly pissed either, so it all worked out.

The fighting had started the new kill count. As a result, Grunt was a very happy krogan. When they returned to the Normandy, he went around explaining to everyone that he had more kills than anyone else. Robyn felt like a proud mom, as weird as it was. Most of the crew had already enjoyed their supper, so the three of them ate, what they found, and went their separate ways.

Robyn loitered into the main battery to hang out with Garrus.

“What did you do while we were away? Tell me that you didn’t spend the entire day polishing your gun.”

Garrus let out a loud sigh.

“You have such a dirty mind, Shepard. Besides, I’m not polishing Normandy’s cannon, I’m calibrating it.”

“At the moment. And you didn’t answer my question.”

“We actually took your advice and trained,” he said, “We practiced hand-to-hand and had some matches.”

“Great. I assume that you wiped the floor with Jacob?” Robyn asked.

“Er, what?”

“It’s a saying. ‘To wipe the floor with someone’ means to totally dominate them.”

“Not a bad phrase,” Garrus said slowly, “It definitely describes my match with Jacob. He went down like a… You probably have a phrase for that, too.”

“Like ‘a marine on shore leave’, or so Jack tells me.”

“Considering your marines can’t have sex onboard, I understand that one.”

“One of these days, I’ll have to catch a ride with a turian ship. Then even I’d get laid,” Robyn said, “Did anyone offer you any kind of challenge, oh great one?”

“Thane did,” Garrus admitted, “He actually laid me down.”

Robyn wished that Thane would do that to her.

“Really? I’m impressed,” she said.

“I think you may truly have recruited the best assassin in the galaxy.”

Robyn gave a low whistle.

“I should ask him for a few pointers, then,” she said and got up.

“You do that,” Garrus said, “Then maybe the next time we fight you won’t make me yawn.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Robyn left Garrus with an international-cum-intergalactic hand signal. She went to Thane’s door and asked to be let in. Thane opened the door shortly. This time he was, sadly, fully dressed.

“Would you like to come in?” Thane asked and stepped aside, letting Robyn in.

“I heard that you kicked Garrus’ ass while I was away,” she said, “I’m sorry I missed that. It must have been quite a show.”

Thane showed her to a table and she sat down.

“It was a tight match,” he said after sitting on the other chair, “It has been a long time since I’ve had the opportunity to fight anyone as skilled as your friend.”

The way he’d said ‘your friend’ had sounded a little strange in Robyn’s ears. Maybe there had been something in the subvocals she couldn’t completely hear or understand. She was probably imagining things. Even so, she wanted to make him understand how she felt about Garrus.

“During our hunt for Saren, I got to see how good he is,” she said, “I learned to appreciate both his skill and his personality. He’s like a brother to me. But don’t worry, I won’t demand satisfaction for beating him or anything like that. I believe that fighting someone as good as you will make him a better fighter and I am grateful. I want so see him survive this and be happy, for once. There hasn’t been much happiness for him in a long time.”

Was that a smile, or was she imagining things again?

“In that case, I’m happy to have been of service,” he said.

“Thane, there’s something I need to ask,” she said, “When we met, you said that you are dying. Would you tell me about it? If you’re comfortable with telling me, that is. If you’d rather not, you don’t have to.”

“I’m part of your crew now,” he said, “It’s natural that you are curious.”

Then he told her about Kepral’s syndrome and how it had come to plague the drell. He was so calm and collected about it that Robyn didn’t feel like she had the right to throw a tantrum about how needless and stupid it sounded. It could have, should have, been avoided. It should be cured.

“I’m sorry, Thane,” she said.

“Don’t be. You’ve given me a worthy mission. There’s nothing else you can do.”

We’ll see about that, Robyn thought. Medical science had made amazing breakthroughs, of which she was walking, talking, drell-lusting proof. If they could bring her back from the dead, they would be able to save the drell from Kepral’s. All you needed was not love, as the old song claimed, but money. And fucking Cerberus had lots and lots of money. All that was required was a little redirection of said money… And that she bloody well could do.

“I can at least amuse you if you’ll agree to a match with me one of these days,” she said.

“It would be my pleasure, Shepard.”

The way he said ‘pleasure’… It made her think… Well, pleasure. With him. Under him. On him. In front of him.

“Are you alright, Shepard?” Thane asked, “Your skin changed color.”

Robyn cleared her throat.

“Yes, I’m quite, alright, thanks. I’m just excited about the pl- - Training!”

“Why did that make your skin change its color?”

“It does that when the amount of blood under the skin changes. Many different situations can cause that, including emotions and the temperature of the environment. Doesn’t the color of your body ever change?”

“There are slight changes to some parts of the drell body when we are aroused but nothing that noticeable.”

“Oh?” Robyn asked like she wasn’t bursting with curiosity, “What sort of changes?”

“The blood rushes to the erogenous zones and they swell and change color slightly because of it,” he replied. His voice was even but the undertones were laced with something else.

“That sounds familiar,” she said, “That happens to us, too.”

“It seems that we’ve found a connecting piece of the elephant,” Thane replied and smiled.

“Yes, it does,” Robyn said and smiled back, “Thank you for the chat, Thane. I think I’ve taken enough of your time and it’s getting late. Thank you again for last night.”

“Any time, Shepard.”

“Goodnight, Thane,” she said and got up.

“Goodnight, Shepard.”

She could hear the echo of his voice in her head all the way to her cabin and into her bed. It was good but, damn, didn’t she wish to have the whole man in there, not just his voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and feedback!


	5. All Blondes Aren't Simple

“Mordin, how would you like to save a species from a nasty disease by using Cerberus’s dirty money and your unequalled brilliance?” Robyn asked.

“Not referring to the genophage, talked about that already. To bring it up now, must be someone from the crew. Only option Thane, others healthy. Want me to cure Kepral’s syndrome?”

“Yes,” Robyn replied, “It should have been cured already if they wanted to cure it. Maybe the hanar stand to gain if the drell keep getting sick, I don’t know. But Project Lazarus has opened my eyes to how far science has come. I’m absolutely positive that a cure can be found if the efforts are serious. Cerberus has the money and you have the mind. Are you willing to do it?”

“A lot of work. Is it wise in the middle of the mission?”

Robyn looked the salarian squarely in the eye.

“I know you have doubts about the work you did, modifying the genophage,” she said, “What I’m offering here is not only a chance to help an entire species, but also to redeem yourself. Tell me you don’t want that.”

“Balance important. Admit, modifying genophage necessary, but not good. Helping the drell would be good. Not necessary, but good, right. Would like to do good before dying,” Mordin pondered.

“So, you’ll do it?”

“Yes. Will require the existing research. And the data from Project Lazarus. Will need samples from Thane.”

“Done,” Robyn said, “Thank you, Mordin.”

“Happy to help, Shepard.”

Robyn left the lab and walked into the empty corridor.

“EDI?”

“Yes, commander?”

“If anyone from Cerberus asks, including Miranda, that conversation never happened. I want you to delete it by my order as the commander of this ship.”

“As you wish, commander.”

“Do you have access to the data from Project Lazarus?”

“Your medical file has all the relevant data. It is restricted to you, operative Lawson, and, if necessary, doctor Chakwas.”

“Make it all available to Mordin, please.”

“Yes, commander. Anything else?”

“Are you good with numbers?”

“Of course.”

“Make me an estimate of how much it would cost to find a cure for Kepral’s. A concrete number should make it easier to collect the funds. And if an opportunity to earn more money comes your way, let me know, if you would.”

“Yes, commander.”

Robyn headed for the cockpit. She hadn’t been to see Joker for a while.

“How is everything in the kingdom of leather seats?”

“Awesome,” Joker replied, “This baby works like a dream. She’s even smoother than the old Normandy. I’ll give Cerberus this – they spared no money when they built this ship.”

Robyn sat into the free seat next to Joker and really dug into it.

“Damn, this sucker is so comfortable I might start spending all of my time here,” she said and burrowed into the chair, “The whole ground team is so badass that they don’t even need me down there. All I do is look pretty and yell, ‘charge’, and ‘Fear me, I’m Commander Shepard’. I could do all of that from this chair.”

“Please, don’t,” Joker replied, “Your presence would greatly disturb my work and downtime recreations.”

“Translation: you wouldn’t dare to watch porn with me here,” Robyn said, “Why is that? You can do it while EDI observes you.”

“That’s different,” he replied, “AI’s not a breathing, pretty woman. I’d feel weird with you here while I reconnoiter the other galactic species.”

“Nicely maneuvered, Joker. I’ll allow you your research porn, then. And I think there was even a compliment somewhere in there, so thanks.”

“Thanks, Shepard,” Joker said, “By the way, do you know why blondes will drown if they go out when it’s raining?”

“A blonde joke? Really?”

“What’s a blonde joke?” a new voice asked.

Robyn and Joker turned around and saw Thane, who had appeared behind them as if from thin air.

“Wow, you really are quiet,” Joker said, “A blonde joke, my friend, is one of the greatest types of jokes in the galaxy.”

“No way,” Robyn asked, “They’re childish and stupid. And perverted.”

“They make fun of women with light-colored hair, like Shepard here,” Joker continued like Robyn hadn’t said anything, “The idea is that blondes are kind of simple.”

“Stupid, Joker, the word is stupid.”

“I see,” Thane said, “Then why will blondes drown if they go out when it’s raining?”

“Because they’ll throw down onto their backs the second they get wet.”

Robyn buried her face into her hand.

“Joker…”

“Oh, come on, Shepard,” he said, “You have to admit that that was kind of funny. Even the broody assassin cracked a smile.”

Robyn looked at Thane, who was suddenly very interested in the monitors.

“There are more of these blonde jokes, then?” Thane asked with a neutral voice, though the undertones suggested that he was hiding a smile.

“Tons,” Joker said, “Would you like to hear some more?”

“Yes, I would,” he replied.

Robyn rolled her eyes and got up.

“You can have my seat, I’ve heard them all before,” she said, “When you’re done here, Thane, Mordin would like to see you.”

“Is there a particular subject he wants to discuss?”

“I believe that he wants to run a lot of tests and possibly jab you with needles. If you’re lucky, he’ll ask your permission first.”

Thane blinked his double eyelids.

“Why does he want to do this?” he asked.

“He needs redemption,” Robyn said, “Joker, we’ll be heading next to the coordinates Aria gave us. I want to pick up that cargo before anyone else gets a crack at it. I recently came up with a huge money pit into which I can throw all the credits I can get my hands on.”

“I can think of a few things we could get, too,” Joker replied.

“No, I’m not going to pay for your trip to the consort, so you can forget about that,” Robyn said.

“But it’s practically physical therapy!”

“If that’s physical therapy, Aria is my fairy godmother.”

“Right,” Joker said slowly, “And who was it again that gave you the coordinates for our next loot?”

“Nice try.”

\--

“Smugglers are idiots, aren’t they?” Robyn said, “Why would they program those mechs to destroy their precious cargo when someone comes to pick it up? We might be the people, who own it. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“They have left the law behind,” Samara said, “They don’t trust others because they themselves cannot be trusted. Betrayal is not only a possibility, but a nigh certainty.”

“They probably have some remote control codes for turning the mechs off,” Miranda commented.

“I wish we had those, too. Bugger,” Robyn cursed when the robots destroyed another box, “Jump to it, ladies, we need the credits. We’ll put them into a better cause than the smugglers would.”

“I trust you, Shepard,” Samara said and destroyed one of the mechs.

“Thank you, Samara. It means a lot to me.”

Miranda didn’t say it, but Robyn knew that the Cerberus operative would have trusted her a lot more if the Illusive Man had allowed them to put a control chip into her brain. That perfect woman was such a lovely person.

\--

“Shepard, may I have a moment?”

Robyn looked up from the datapad she’d been reading while sipping her coffee.

“Of course, Thane. Please, take a seat. What can I do for you?”

He sat down and looked at her intensely.

“You asked professor Solus to look into Kepral’s,” he said.

“Mordin may talk a mile a minute, but his words aren’t empty. He’s brilliant. I honestly believe that he can help the drell,” she said, “Cerberus has thrown a lot of credits our way. They’ll never know, where it all goes, so Mordin will have his funding. I asked a friend of mine to acquire the Kepral’s research data that already exists and Mordin has access to the data from Project Lazarus. That should help.”

“There is nothing I can say, except ‘thank you’. You are a good person, Shepard.”

“I did nothing, Thane. Mordin is the one you should thank, not me.”

Thane smiled at her with warmth that touched her heart.

“You remind me of someone,” he said, “I’ve read about an Earth hero, who used to steal from the rich and give to the poor.”

Robyn grinned at him. He even knew about that? This man was amazing.

“You mean Robin Hood of Sherwood forest?”

“Yes, that’s the one. You know of him, then?” Thane asked.

“You could say that. That’s who I was named after.”

“Is that usual? To name a child after a legend?”

“It’s not uncommon, though Robin Hood is such an old legend that not many people remember him anymore. He was my dad’s hero,” Robyn said, “The reason my name is spelled a little differently is because my mother insisted that a girl should have a girly name.”

“I assume that your father told you about your namesake?”

“Yes, he did. He read me the original book, which is total crap, by the way. He taught me to look out for those, who cannot take care of themselves, and to stand up to people, who have become corrupted by power,” Robyn said and thought about her dad. She missed him often. John Shepard had been a good man and his death at the hands of those batarians had left the galaxy a worse place.

“I’m sure he would be proud of what you’ve become,” Thane said gently.

“Thank you,” she said and added, “I’m sure your family would be proud of you, too.”

“One can only hope,” Thane said, his voice full of sadness.

They sat in silence, deep in thought, staring at the table.

“Well, aren’t we fun today,” Robyn said, “Do you want to go hide Miranda’s mirror? That should be entertaining.”

“We could also have that match you challenged me to,” Thane said, “I still haven’t had the pleasure of taking down the great Commander Shepard.”

Oh, the images that statement generated in Robyn’s mind. She had to sort through all the suggestive replies before she found one that did not sound like an open invitation to come to her cabin and shag her like there was no tomorrow.

“You may have defeated Garrus,” she said, “But he’s a clumsy turian and a sniper to boot. Snipers have no use for hand-to-hand. Good ones, anyway. Are you sure you want to challenge a vanguard? We live for close-quarters-combat. Maybe you should start with a shotgun-wielding adept or something.”

“I’m sure, commander,” Thane said with a sly grin.

“As you wish,” she said, “I’ll see you in the gym in a bit.”

Robyn walked to the gym after changing into her workout clothes. When she saw Thane, she realized that it may not have been her smartest idea to challenge him. He was shirtless and wearing the same loose pants he’d worn the night they’d run together. He looked good enough to eat.

Robyn had to tell herself that she was professional. If she wanted to offer any challenge to the man, who was, by all accounts, awesome, she’d need to bring her A-game. That wouldn’t happen, if she was lusting after him. She had to put his mouthwatering figure out of her mind for later contemplation and to focus on beating him. Yes, she was sexually frustrated, but she could use that to her advantage.

They took their positions and started. The beginning was always a matter of observation, of sizing up your opponent. Robyn went through the facts: Thane was faster. He had perfect memory. He would remember her every response and reaction. His lungs were bad. There was no way she was going to hit him in the chest with all her strength. Or anywhere else, for that matter. She liked the guy, she wouldn’t hurt him.

Robyn calculated that her only chance was to surprise him. To do that, she needed to confuse him. She could make small mistakes to make him let down his guard. Then she’d strike. Politely. It was a good plan, in theory, but she kept getting her ass handed to her. Not that she minded. There was a lot of close contact with his naked upper body, which was nice. More than nice.

Robyn noticed the moment Thane let his guard down. He attacked and expected her to repeat the mistake she’d been making. She didn’t. He was surprised for a little moment, which was all she needed to get him out of balance and to bring him to the floor. She had orchestrated his fall and ended up with a nice, tight lock on his arm. He tapped out and she loosened her grip.

“You tricked me,” he said from under her.

“What other choice did I have against the amazing Thane Krios?” Robyn whispered into his ear.

“And you have been pulling your punches,” he said.

“Says who?” Robyn asked. 

Robyn was enjoying the feeling of Thane between her legs, even if he was face down. His warmth was pleasant, not to mention the contour of his ass. She would have loved to feel it a little longer, but it would be unprofessional if she remained on him, so she stood up.

“Are you claiming that you were not?” Thane asked as he got up, “I’ve seen you fight, Shepard. You put out several enemies with your punches alone. There is no way you were using the same amount of force just now.”

Oh, Robyn realized, we have a male ego alert.

“You’re cute when you get assertive,” she said and enjoyed the sight of his brain shifting gear midair, “Thanks for the workout, Thane. I think I’ll hit the shower now. See you later.”

\--

Thane stared after Shepard. What had just happened? He grabbed his gear and got into the elevator. On the way to his room, he repeated the match in his head. He’d noticed that Shepard had made some mistakes. Nothing major, just ones that he’d assumed to have come from her lack of finesse in hand-to-hand combat. He’d taken her down several times, but the final takedown was the one that really mattered, because it had been his mistake. He had underestimated her. He had underestimated the legendary Commander Shepard.

Thane admired the way she had trapped him. She’d had to plan it, to plan mistakes that would be noticed but small enough not to make him wonder. She’d kept repeating them at the right moments, after the right kind of attacks. She’d taken his punches without getting angry or sidetracked from her plan. When the time had been ripe, she’d followed through. It had been impressive. She was impressive.

Thane didn’t usually enjoy being in a submissive position but, with Shepard, he hadn’t minded. What he did mind, however, was that she had been careful of him. Just because he was sick, didn’t mean that he was fragile. He could take a punch just like he could finish this mission. But it would be irrational to be angry at Shepard for protecting him. That was, what she did. That was, who she was.

Shepard had called him cute. Admittedly, she’d said it to shut him up, but still. The way she’d said it had made it sound like she’d meant it. It was ridiculous, but Thane was pleased that she considered him cute.

Thane sat down on his cot and scrutinized the time he had spent on the Normandy. Much of it had been centered on Shepard. It made sense since she was the heart of the ship. But still… Thane was certain that most members of the crew did not spend extensive periods of time thinking, what the commander had felt in their arms. Or against their naked chest. Or what it had felt like to be under her…

Thane took a deep breath. He needed to meditate for some time. He couldn’t go to the communal shower with an erection. That would be a recipe for disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I come from a nation of blondes, so blonde jokes are ubiquitous. I'm blonde myself, though under layers of hair dye (a.k.a. "artificial intelligence"). I don't even remember where I've heard that particular one and even if Joker told it right, but it conveyed the message, I think.
> 
> Have you read the original Robin Hood? I love the hero, but really, truly hated the book.
> 
> My knowledge of hand-to-hand is so limited that I didn't really go into it for the fear of doing it wrong. I hope you didn't mind.
> 
> Thanks for reading and kudos! I hope you're enjoying this. I, at least, am having great fun writing (as usual). Sorry for the errors and typos, it's rather late.


	6. Old Habits Die Hard

”This is oddly relaxing,” Robyn said.

She was lounging in the cockpit next to Joker, scanning planets for resources. They were near the edge of the galaxy, making their way leisurely to the place where Jacob’s father’s ship had crashed. Robyn wasn’t particularly eager to go fish for dead bodies but it was what Jacob needed and he was one of her crew. They had all signed up for a dangerous mission and given up a lot. They deserved to have their last wishes fulfilled, so to speak.

“Yeah,” Joker agreed, “No one’s shooting at us, no volcano is erupting around us, no ship going down with us in it… It’s nice. It won’t last, but it’s nice.”

“You’re such a pessimist, Joker.”

“I’m a realist, who’s served under you for a long time, Shepard,” Joker said, “I was there when we got shot down, remember? I went to your funeral.”

Robyn looked at her friend.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not like it’s your fault that you died,” Joker said.

“I’m still sorry that you had to go through that. I hate seeing, what it has done to you guys.”

“It couldn’t have been easy on you, either,” Joker said, “You were the one, who died.”

He was right about that, though Robyn preferred not to think about it. She was not about to have a panic attack in the cockpit. That would cause too much trouble and make Joker feel worse.

“Yes, but I did come back. Like the Terminator.”

Joker cracked a smile.

“Cerberus found you naked from some alley, did they? Now, there’s an image.”

“Could be, could be,” Robyn said, “I have no idea how Cerberus came to have my body.”

“Commander, I found something,” EDI said.

Robyn sat up and looked at the monitor. EDI had found a Blue Suns base on one of the random planets they had been scanning. It looked worth checking out.

“Score! Thanks, EDI,” Robyn said and got up, “I’ll suit up. Tell Jacob and Zaeed to do the same. That guy gets weirdly excited about kicking the asses of his former co-workers. Go figure.”

“Be careful out there, Shepard,” Joker called after her.

“Being careful is for sissies!”

After suiting up, Robyn met Jacob and Zaeed at the shuttle.

“What’s going on, commander?” Jacob asked.

“We stumbled onto a base of the Blue Suns. We’re going to pay them a visit and see if we can find something useful.”

“Not bad,” Zaeed said, “It’s always good to take those fuckers down a peg.”

“I thought you’d like it,” Robyn said.

“What are we looking for?” Jacob asked when they got into the shuttle.

“Anything, everything. Mercs are surprisingly adept at getting their dirty little hands on good stuff. They’ll have lots of credits, at least.”

“We’re going to steal from thieves?” Jacob asked.

“The best people to steal from, in my book,” Robyn said, “We’ll put their stolen money into something good. Can you say the same about them?”

“I see what you mean, commander,” he replied.

“Stealing from thieves, that’s goddamn poetic justice, that is,” Zaeed said.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

\--

When the shuttle returned to the Normandy, there was a crowd waiting for it. Thane looked as Shepard’s unconscious body was swiftly lifted onto the gurney and hurried towards the med bay. Zaeed and Jacob were hardly out of the shuttle before they had a furious turian bearing down on them.

“What the hell happened? Why is Shepard out of it? Didn’t you watch her back?” Garrus yelled at them, his subharmonics completely out of control, “If I find out that you caused this, I’ll make you suffer the kind of pain you haven’t even heard of!”

“And when he’s done, I’ll continue,” Grunt growled, “My memories have useful ways of prolonging the suffering of puny, squishy humans like you.”

The situation looked like it could escalate quickly. Usually Shepard would have been the one to do something but, in her absence, Thane felt that he needed to disregard his worry and step up.

“Calm down, gentlemen,” he said and stepped between the contestants, “Can you please tell us, what happened?”

“We attacked a Blue Suns base,” Jacob said, “It all went according to plan. We killed the mercs and found some information about a freighter they had stolen. At the heart of the base, they had… I guess you could call it an artefact. It was like this small pyramid, about the height of a room. When Shepard got close to it, it emitted something to her. She fell down, holding her head, spoke something in a language my translator didn’t know, and fell unconscious. She hasn’t gained consciousness since. That’s all I know.”

Garrus stepped back with a growl.

“Fucking protheans,” he said, “It was probably a beacon. It had to be. This has happened to Shepard before and it has always messed with her head. She’ll be having nightmares and flashbacks for a while. Spirits, why always her? Hasn’t she been through enough?”

Garrus turned around and headed towards the elevator. Thane hopped a ride with him.

“Beacon?” he asked.

“Prothean beacon. The one on Eden Prime was the first one she encountered. She got pulled into it because she was trying to save her subordinate, who had messed up. Damned Alenko, he was always so useless, running after her like a pyjak in heat. And the way he spoke to her on Horizon… Oh, how I wanted to rip into that guy.”

Thane would have asked more but the elevator door opened. They hurried towards the med bay only to be stuck behind its locked door. The windows had blinders, so they had no idea, what was going on inside. Thane sat down at a table while Garrus paced around, trying to work out his anxiety.

After some time, Samara arrived at the door of the med bay. It opened to let her in and closed again. Thane was confused by this since, as far as he knew, the justicar was no medical specialist. Garrus had also noticed her appearance.

“Crap, Shepard isn’t going to like this,” he said.

Thane looked to him for more information.

“Shepard had trouble making out, what the Eden Prime beacon had told her, so our resident prothean expert, Liara T’Soni, offered to meld with her,” Garrus explained, “It didn’t go as planned and they were both shaken up after it but, in the end, it helped Shepard to make sense of the vision. Chakwas must have asked Samara to meld with Shepard. She hates it, says that it feels like an invasion of privacy. It makes sense since the asari consider it sex, though I cannot say that it feels as good as your regular rump in the sack. But Shepard is going to allow it because she knows that it helps. She’s going to be shaken – and pissed – when she walks through that door.”

Thane felt unsettled by the idea of Samara melding with Shepard. He preferred not to dig further into the reason for feeling that. He knew that Shepard was in the med bay, feeling vulnerable, and… It would have been nice if someone was there for her. Someone she was comfortable with.

\--

Robyn took a deep breath, put a smile on her face, and walked out of the med bay. It wasn’t mealtime so the mess wasn’t full of people, for which she was grateful. Some members of the ground crew were loitering around, waiting for her arrival. They seemed relieved to see her up and about.

Garrus walked up to her and touched her forehead with his.

“What have I told you about prothean shit?” he asked.

“’Stay the fuck away’,” she quoted, “I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that it was prothean until it was too late.”

“You remember that for the next time,” he said and took a step back, “How do you feel?”

“I’m okay. It’s not as bad as it used to be. It gets a little less bad every time.”

“Shepard!” Grunt boomed and hit her on the shoulder, “I knew a tiny shock wouldn’t take you down!”

“Thanks. You were right. You’re a smart guy, Grunt,” Robyn replied and massaged the place the krogan had punched.

“Happy to see you’re alright. Will get back to work,” Mordin said and left.

“Shepard,” Zaeed said with a nod and disappeared towards the elevator.

“You missed quite the party,” Kasumi said, “Next time you should just have the party and not the injury.”

“So, these beacons – they get you high, or what?” Jack asked.

“No, they don’t get me high. They show me horrific images and then put my lights out,” Robyn answered.

“Some drugs do that, too,” Jack replied.

“Really? Why would anyone take those?”

“People do crazy shit,” Jack said and shrugged, “Was it a good melding at least?”

“As far as I’m concerned, there is no such thing as a good melding,” Robyn replied, “I prefer to tell people what I’m thinking instead of showing it. But I’m thankful to Samara for helping me and I do feel better than before it. So, all in all, it wasn’t so bad.”

Jack rolled her eyes and took off. The only one still there was Thane, who was sitting at a table patiently. Robyn sat down opposite him. His scrutinizing gaze gave her the impression that he saw more than she wanted to show. Maybe that was why he took her hands into his and gave them a slight squeeze before letting go.

“Garrus mentioned that this has happened to you before?”

“Yeah, a few times, which means that I’m getting proficient at this,” Robyn replied.

“’This’ being knocked unconscious by prothean artifacts?” Thane asked.

“Exactly,” she said, “I’m the leading expert in that field.”

“Shepard…” Thane said. His tone implied that she didn’t need to make light of what had happened.

“It’s fine, Thane, honestly,” she said, “I’ve died once. This is nothing.”

“Has Garrus already given you the ‘be more careful’ speech?”

“A version of it, yes.”

“You should take his advice.”

“Take advice from the guy, who took a rocket to the face? Really?”

“He’s not the one, who keeps getting knocked out by ancient inanimate objects,” Thane pointed out.

“Hey!”

“Just saying,” he said with a twitch at the corner of his mouth.

“Just for that, I’m forwarding you a message I got today,” she said and fiddled with her omnitool, “Go ahead and read it.”

Thane blinked at her. He opened the message with his omnitool and read it. Robyn had fun watching his expressions. The shifts were barely noticeable, but they were there.

“Er,” he mumbled, which was highly unusual, “Good for him.”

“Don’t you feel like replying him?” Robyn asked, “It sounds like he appreciates your actions and for a reason, too. You both saved his life and made him want to live it. You’re doubly his hero. And he bought a new coat. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind seeing you the next time we’re around Illium.”

Thane looked practically nonplussed.

“It’s good that he’s found a new zest for life,” he said, “And I hope he finds someone to spend it with. Someone else. I have no romantic interest in my own sex.”

Robyn was very happy to hear that. That was one of the reasons she had forwarded the message to him.

“Why did you send me this?” Thane asked.

“I wanted you to know the good you’ve done,” she said, “You saved lives that day, in more ways than one. I wanted you to know and remember that.”

“And you wanted to mess with me.”

“How could you think such a thing? I’m shocked to my very core.”

“Yes, I can see that. You’re positively shaking,” Thane said dryly, “I take it that you’re finding it hard not to laugh?”

“It’s just that… Your expression…” Robyn said. She was really holding back the giggle that was trying to escape her.

“What about my expression?”

“Never would I have thought to see the galaxy’s greatest assassin so stumped.”

“You caught me by surprise,” he admitted.

“As is my habit,” she replied, “That’s two-zero to me, Thane. You’d better shape up your game.”

“I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't know, who the Terminator is, I'm crying for you.


	7. No Robinson Fucking Crusoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has the f-word. Oh, my.

Robyn slammed her water bottle into the cup-holder, turned the setting of the treadmill to fast, turned on the heavy metal in her headphones, and began running. She was so fucking mad that a simple jog just wouldn’t cut it. She had to really run that she wouldn’t put all of her resources into tracking down the Illusive Man, shoving her hand up his arse, and pulling him inside out through his asshole as she had threatened to do. The image brought her pleasure, though.

The yelling in her ears was comforting. At least someone could say, what she felt like. She couldn’t yell right now, but she could run.

The fucking Collector ship had been a fucking nightmare. The hive-like interior, the bodies, the pods – both empty and those filled with dead people… Reapers did messed up things to sapient species. Humans they turned into husks, Protheans they had made into Collectors. Robyn was certain that both of those would henceforth appear in her nightmares with the thresher maws and her dying friends. Awesome.

It sucked but she hadn’t been the least bit surprised to find out that the Illusive Man had sent them into a trap. Yes, she understood his reasoning, but she didn’t agree. She couldn’t agree with a bastard, who knowingly endangered her dear friends. She would have killed him if something had happened to Garrus or Grunt. Garrus was her brother and Grunt was her little baby krogan. They deserved to know that they were walking into a trap.

Robyn ran and went on to plan inventive ways of killing the Illusive Man.

\--

Thane walked into the gym and took the treadmill next to Shepard. She was running fast with an expression of anger and determination darkening her features. Considering, what Thane had heard about the mission, it was no wonder. Thane would hate to be on the receiving end of that look.

“Shepard,” he said.

She nodded to him and continued running. Thane interpreted this as a sign that she needed to work on her anger without discussion. That was no problem to him. He started his run.

They ran in silence for a long time. Shepard speeded up her machine some more for a little while, as if for a final push. Then she slowed it down into jogging pace and took her headphones off. Finally, there was a smile.

“I came up with 101 ways of killing the Illusive Man,” she said.

“Only 101?”

“I would have invented more, but 101 is kind of a thing,” she replied, “If you have more, you can make another book.”

“You want to make a book called ‘101 Ways of Killing The Illusive Man’?” Thane asked, “I’m sorry Shepard, but I doubt Cerberus’ willingness to publish that.”

“You’re killing my life-long dream of becoming an author?” Shepard asked him, biting her lip with faked hurt.

“I am truly sorry, Shepard,” he replied.

“You should be.”

“Will you forgive me, if I promise to contribute? As an assassin, I have come across some very inventive killing methods.”

“Deal,” she said and grinned at him, “So, what did you do today? Meditated and crawled around the vents?”

“How did you know?”

She laughed again. Thane was satisfied with himself for pulling her out of her anger. He didn’t want to see Shepard get disconnected.

“That’s better than what we did, anyway,” she said, “Did you hear that that was the ship that killed me?”

“I was in the cockpit when you were on mission,” he replied.

“Oh,” she said, “Then you know pretty much the stuff we do. Did you hear that Harbinger guy?”

“Harbinger?”

“Yeah, I think he was the head honcho of the Collectors. Or a Reaper, who knows? He kept taking over the bodies of other Collectors. The others said nothing, but he kept yapping on. Damn, he sounded like the worst dom/sub porn ever.”

Thane blinked.

“Are you particularly familiar with that type of entertainment?” he asked.

“No, but come on; he kept saying, ‘Assuming control. Your form is fragile. This hurts you more than me.’,” she repeated, “In my mind, that sounds, what I’d assume dom/sub porn lines to sound like.”

“I see,” he said.

“Oh, no, now you think I’m some sort of perverted freak,” she said, “I meant it as a joke.”

“I get it, Shepard,” he assured her, but would definitely keep that in mind, “What happens next? Will we be going to the Collector homeworld?”

“Not just yet,” she replied, clearly happy with the change of subject, “I think we should build the team. Everyone knows that this is a suicide mission. And everyone has unfinished business. I think it only fair that we take care of that before going out there and potentially getting ourselves killed.”

“I understand,” he said.

He really did. Come to think of it, he should find out, how Kolyat was doing. He would very much like to… If not to mend fences with him, at least to hear, what was going on with his son. He had been a terrible father, he knew that, but he wanted some closure before the end.

“Thane, are you alright?” Shepard asked, “You look sad.”

“I’m fine, Shepard,” he replied hastily.

“Is there something I can help you with?”

“May I get back to you on that?”

“Of course,” she said.

She got off the treadmill and shut the machine. He did the same. They both headed towards the elevator.

“What happens tomorrow?” Thane asked when they were inside.

“We are going to check out the crash site of the Hugo Gernsback,” Shepard said, “It was Jacob’s father’s ship that crashed almost ten years ago. Its emergency beacon activated only a little while ago and Jacob wants to see, why. Would you like to come with us? I’m sure we could use a sniper to cover our backs.”

“It would be my pleasure,” Thane said and stepped out of the elevator, “Goodnight, Shepard.”

“Goodnight.”

\--

Aeia looked like a paradise, but the similarities ended there. The hulking body of the fallen ship kind of ruined even that. Robyn, Thane, and Jacob went through the ship. The partial logs were disturbing to say the least. The broken VI wasn’t any more comforting. It said that Jacob’s father had promoted himself to acting captain and taken over. The food on Aeia was pretty, but caused neural decay, which didn’t sound like a picnic.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Robyn said, “This isn’t going to be Robinson Crusoe.”

“I know, what you mean,” Jacob said, “But I have to find out, what happened.”

“Robinson Crusoe?” Thane asked as they walked further.

“A famous hero from one of the most boring books ever,” Robyn said absentmindedly, “The book tells the story of a guy getting stuck on a deserted island for years and years. It is well-considered because it created a genre, but it’s incredibly colonialistic and patriarchal. Let’s hope that we find something else here.”

There was a survivor, a woman. It was obvious that she had been eating the food that caused damage to her higher mental functions – she came off as brainwashed. She talked about their leader, who they serve to get home. A group of men attacked them and Robyn had to pull the woman out of the way. She had called the men ‘hunters’.

“Neural decay doesn’t quite cover it,” Thane said, after they had killed the attackers and left the babbling woman.

“True,” Robyn agreed, “This looks like a settlement. Of women. Where are all the men?”

The women fled away from Jacob, saying, “You have his face.”

“He forced us to eat, to decay,” one said.

“I can’t talk to you,” another said, “I don’t want punishing.”

“He keeps us, protects us. And we please him like he demands.”

Robyn clenched her hands into fists. So, that’s how it was. The whole settlement reeked of the misuse of power. The acting captain had made the female crew into his personal harem and deported or killed the men. He had made the women build a fucking monument to him out of ship parts. It was disgusting.

“I was right. This isn’t Robinson fucking Crusoe,” she said, “This is worse. At least Robinson didn’t rape Friday, even if he made him serve him.”

“I can’t believe my father did this,” Jacob said, “It doesn’t sound like the man I used to know.”

“Power corrupts,” Thane stated, to which Robyn had to nod.

Jacob searched the camp. Robyn pulled Thane a little aside.

“Thane, I need you to do something for me,” she said.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Please stop me, if I’m about to kill this scumbag outside of battle,” she said, “I have… Issues with slavery and this is nothing but, with an ugly twist. The one who did this should face justice.”

“As you wish,” he said.

“Thank you.”

There was a wall behind the settlement. They blew it up and had to destroy several layers of defenses, all the while having to listen to Taylor explaining his guilt away. He had mechs, small ones and a big one. He had brainwashed minions. He had a wall, guns, everything. It was easy to be the big boss, when you had all the weapons. Robyn enjoyed laying waste to his stuff.

They finally reached the man. Was he sorry? Was he apologetic? Did he feel guilty? Hell, no. He tried to explain his way out of it. Robyn had heard the ‘it wasn’t me, it was the power, it corrupts’ speech before. It was always the last resort to little twerps, who had no balls and no respect for others.

“Well, aren’t you a pretty thing,” Taylor said to Robyn and reached out to touch her face, “Let’s get out of here, I’ll buy you something pretty. I have a lot of back pay coming my way. We can have ourselves a good time.”

Robyn was at a breaking point, when the creep had the nerve to hit on her. She was a breath away from killing him on the spot. Thane must have seen that. He was between them in a heartbeat. He took hold of Taylor’s shirt and lifted him from the ground like a feather. He must have boosted his strength with his biotics.

“Hands off,” Thane told Taylor with a cold voice, “You are the worst kind of a man. If it was up to me, you’d die here. But, for some reason, your son wants to have a word with you and Commander Shepard wants you to have justice.”

“No, I want his victims to have justice,” Robyn said.

Thane put the man down and Jacob said his piece to his father while Robyn breathed deep and pushed the haze of rage out of her mind. After that, she called EDI to tell Cerberus to do something about these people. Then she stepped away to make another call.

“Shepard? Is that you?”

“It’s good to hear your voice, sir,” Robyn said.

“How are you doing?” Anderson asked, “By the way, thanks for the info about the Cerberus agent. That will be useful.”

“The pleasure was all mine,” she replied, “We’ve been running around the galaxy, getting stabbed to the back by the Illusive Man.”

“Can’t say that I’m surprised,” Anderson said.

“Neither was I. I was pissed,” Robyn said, “Anyhow, I have a situation here. A bastard of a captain has kept his crew as servants slash cult slash sex slaves for almost ten years.”

“What? How is that even possible?”

“He had all the guns. And everything edible on the planet causes brain damage. He made the others eat it while keeping their rations for himself.”

“Son of a bitch,” Anderson said with gusto, “How did you find them?”

“The mockery of a captain activated the emergency beacon after all this time. He put it out of use in the beginning and erased the reason for doing that, so there is no version of the events but his own.”

“Is he still alive?”

“Yes,” Robyn said, “I want Alliance to come pick his crew and him up. I want him sentenced, sir. And I’ll try to get the crew some help.”

“I’ll send the closest ship their way.”

“Thank you, Anderson.”

“Anytime, Shepard. Take care of yourself out there.”

“You know me,” Robyn said and smiled to herself.

“I do. That’s why I said it.”

\--

They exited the shuttle and Jacob headed towards the elevator. His father’s misconduct seemed to bother him greatly. Robyn realized that there was something she needed to do.

“Thane, I have a question, if you don’t mind,” she said.

He stopped and looked at her inquisitively.

“I would like to thank you. If you were a human, I’d give you a hug, but I’m not sure if that’s appropriate in your culture,” she said.

“You are wise to think about such things,” Thane said, “Touching among drell is mostly reserved for friends and family, but I would not consider you untoward if you wanted to hug me to say thank you. It is, after all, your way.”

“I won’t make you uncomfortable?”

“Yeoman Chambers trying to hug me made me uncomfortable,” Thane replied.

“Really?” Robyn asked, sidetracked, “When was this?”

“When I came onboard,” he replied, “She said I looked forlorn.”

“I can see that. She hugged me, too. Said that I looked like I needed a hug,” Robyn said, “I’ll have a word with Chambers.”

“There’s no need,” Thane said.

“There is need, Thane. She’s supposed to help with the crew, not make them need help,” she said and an idea came to her, “You know what? I think I’ll ask Mordin to have a word with her. She’ll want to hug him and he’ll give her a few choice truths. That’ll make her think. But not before she hugs Miranda. And Zaeed. And Garrus! That would be fun. I’ll have to bring my popcorn.”

Thane looked amused. Robyn remembered that she had been doing something besides planning a vid about Kelly ambush-hugging people, who didn’t like being hugged.

Robyn walked closer to Thane and put her arms carefully around him. She squeezed a little, but not too much. Her cheek rubbed against his. Darn her armor! If she hadn’t been wearing it, she would have been able to feel his toned body against hers.

“Thank you, Thane, for keeping me from killing an unarmed man,” she whispered against his cheek.

“You are welcome, Shepard,” he said.

They stepped back and looked at each other. Thane’s slight smile was the best thing Robyn had seen all day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Robinson Crusoe is a novel by Daniel Defoe.
> 
> Writing this chapter took so long because I've been playing ME3 multi so much lately. My apologies, but you should do that, too. It's fun :)
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback!


	8. Visiting The Dark Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! My evenings have not been my own, thanks to work.

The door to the main battery closed behind Robyn, but the sound hardly registered with her. She was thinking about the conversation she’d just had with Garrus. If she was honest with herself, she was worried for her friend. She knew that the last two years had been hard on him. Omega was a tough place. You didn’t spend time there without being affected by it. Regardless, she didn’t want to see her friend turn into someone, who saw no light in the galaxy.

Garrus was driven by vengeance. That wasn’t good. It wasn’t that Robyn didn’t understand vengeance, because she really did. She’d harbored the hope of it dearly for years after her family had been killed. When she’d grown up, she’d met people, who’d shown her that hate ate you up. It hollowed you like a tree that was dead but still standing. She didn’t want that to Garrus.

Robyn was heading towards the elevator, when she ran into Thane. He looked disturbed.

“Shepard,” he said, “Might I have a word with you?”

“Certainly, Thane,” she replied.

They stepped into his room and the door closed behind them. Robyn looked at Thane, waiting for him to begin.

“I have something I wish to say,” he said, “But now that you are here… It seems more difficult to talk about.”

“Is it your sickness?” she asked, “Are you not feeling well? Is there something, we can do?”

“It’s not that, but my mortality has me dwelling on things,” Thane said, “I had a family once.”

Shepard’s back stiffened. She hadn’t seen that coming, though she should have. Someone as fantastic as Thane was bound to have someone. Or to have had, as it turned out. He told her about his family – his deceased wife and his estranged son. He told about his absence due to work, about his guilt because of said absence. He told how his enemies had gotten to his wife and killed her. How he’d left his son to the care of his aunts and uncles because he hadn’t believed in his own skills as a parent. Robyn just wanted to cry for him and hug him, but decided that it was best not to.

Thane explained that he had traced Kolyat only to find out that he had become disconnected, just like his father before him. His body and soul were not working together, but the body was doing, what it willed, not heeding the soul, which is a person’s true self. All of this meant that Kolyat had taken a job as a hitman. He had gone to the Citadel and Thane wanted Shepard’s help to stop him from taking the wrong path.

“Of course I’ll help,” she said, “We’ll catch him before he does anything more stupid. Do you have any idea, what inspired him to do this?”

“I gathered a package; mementoes of my ill-spent life that was to be delivered to my son on my death. He got it early for some reason.”

Shepard nodded. That would do it, alright. The kid wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps, maybe to feel closer to him by doing, what he had done.

“Thank you for doing this, Shepard,” Thane said soberly.

“Don’t mention it,” she said, “I’m sorry that you are in pain. We’ll set a course for the Citadel right away.”

Shepard considered, what would be the proper gesture in the current situation. She decided to do, what he usually did – she stood straight, put her hands behind her back, and gave him a little bow before leaving.

\--

“Are you, in any way, affiliated with the geth?”

Robyn glared at the customs official, who was pestering her with pointless questions. Well, technically not her, she was a Spectre, after all, but her party.

“I am not,” Thane said with unequalled patience.

“Alright, you’ve clearly passed the line of ridiculous and raced beyond it into the vast emptiness of bloody freaking unbelievable,” Robyn said, “Who on earth would become affiliated with the geth? They are geth! Machines! And if such a miracle would happen, do you believe that a person affiliated with the geth would actually confess to the fact? We’re done here. Come on, guys.”

“But, ma’am…”

“One more ‘but’ out of you and you’ll meet the butt of my gun,” she said with an icy glare at the official, who made the wise choice of remaining silent.

Robyn, Thane, and Garrus walked through customs.

“That was pretty harsh, Shepard,” Garrus said, “Not that I don’t enjoy watching you shake down bureaucrats.”

“We have more important matters to deal with than playing their twisted little games,” she replied, “This is what we’ll do: the Kolayt thing is more urgent, so we’ll find him and stop him first. After that, we’ll go after Fade. Does that work for you two?”

The men nodded. 

“Good,” she said, “I gave the rest of the ground crew shore leave under the assumption that you could help each other out. If necessary, I can get one of them back with a little notice. But we’ll play it by the ear. Here’s Bailey.”

The Captain was very helpful. He had leads for both Kolyat and Fade. First, they went to talk to the duct rat that had been seen talking to Kolyat. He turned out to be one of Thane’s old contacts. It took some persuasion, but he revealed that Kolyat had been hired by a shifty character called Elias Kelham.

Robyn didn’t like the way seeing Mouse had made Thane wallow in his guilt. He was such a good guy, why would he do that to himself? Yes, you should feel guilty about the bad stuff you did, but you should also know when to let go and move on. When he was ready, she’d like to talk to him about that. For now, though, they had to attend to more pressing matters.

Another meeting with Bailey and they had Kelham in an interrogation room, fastened to a chair. Robyn felt an evil smile tug at the corner of her mouth when she saw him like that. Clearly, the guy was bad news and deserved to feel a little less entitled, even for a few minutes. When he called Thane ‘frog boy’, Robyn wanted to smack him so bad, but didn’t. They weren’t able to get anything until his lawyer showed up just in time to tell him that, as a Spectre, Shepard could do whatever she chose to him. That got a name out of him – Joram Talid.

Bailey told them that Talid was running for office. His campaign was openly anti-human.

“Democracy is a beautiful thing,” Robyn said with a flat voice, “And where do we find this champion of the people?”

“He has an apartment in the 800 blocks.”

“Right. Thanks, Bailey,” she said, “Let’s go find Kolyat. After we do, I might slug this Talid myself.”

“That would hardly soften his stance towards humans,” Thane pointed out.

“He’s right, Shepard,” Garrus said, “I’ll do it.”

“Aww, you two are so cute when you get protective,” she said, “Alright, let’s kick some pompous turian ass.”

Talid was easy enough to find. Thane blended into the shadows, Garrus hanged back, and Robyn was left with the task of following the ass around on the catwalks and listening to his bullshit. She was fuming in minutes.

“Shepard, breathe,” Garrus advised through their com line, “If you keep gnashing your teeth that loudly, he’s bound to hear you.”

Robyn took his advice. When she saw him shaking down a human business owner, she breathed. When she saw him spitting at human child, she breathed. When she heard the names he used to talk about humans with a possible voter, she breathed. She may have been getting close to hyperventilation, but she breathed.

Suddenly, something happened. A tall, blue drell shot two of Talid’s bodyguards and dragged the stunned turian with him. Robyn and Thane ran out of shadows to chase him into Talid’s apartment. Kolyat was angry and confused at seeing his father, but that wasn’t enough to get him off course. Neither was C-Sec. Robyn had to do something, so she shot a lamp to distract him. When he looked away, she jumped at him and disarmed him. Robyn shooed Talid away and was a little pleased, when he fell down again around Garrus, as if he had tripped on something.

The two drell had an impromptu father son meeting. They were getting into deep waters, when Baily suggested that they move it into a more private place. They went back to C-Sec and the drell had an interrogation room for their own use. The others waited outside. Robyn took that time to sweet talk Bailey into giving Kolyat community service for killing those mercs.

Robyn thought about Kolyat. There was some resemblance between him and his father, certainly, but there were differences, too. Kolyat was taller. His face was narrower and his nose was not as pronounced. His voice was higher and his temper more flaring, which was no wonder, given the circumstances. His frame was slighter, though that could be a matter of exercise.

Robyn understood that Kolyat was angry. She would be, too. She’d be furious. But she wished that he wouldn’t be too angry to give his father a chance. He’d live to regret it if he passed up on knowing his father because he was mad at the man. Family was too important to squander because of a feud. Robyn would have loved to have some family, even one that made her mad.

\--

Thane stepped out of the interrogation room and took a breath while the door closed behind him. The day had generated a mass of tangled emotions inside him. A lot of meditation would be needed to sort them out, but this was not the time. He walked to Shepard and the Captain and thanked them for their help with his son. He was delighted to hear that Kolyat was not getting in serious trouble for killing Talid’s bodyguards.

“Are you alright to come with us, or would you like to go to the Normandy to mediate?” Shepard asked him with a kind smile, “I can summon someone else to help us. I’m pretty sure that Mordin won’t be drunk. And even if he is, he seems like the kind of guy, who won’t let being drunk affect his work. Or I could ask for Jack. She’ll be drunk, but that’ll just make her more destructive. She’ll beat the enemies with her bare hands and laugh. That’s what Grunt would do, too. Though he’d headbutt them first, if he could hit them… Why am I thinking about stuff like this?”

“It’s alright, Shepard, I’m happy to help,” he said, “There’s no need to interrupt someone’s shore leave.”

Shepard nodded and they went to search for Fade. The way the day was going, it seemed likely that Thane wouldn’t be the only one, who’d have a lot to think about afterwards. It turned out that Fade was Garrus’ old colleague from C-Sec, a human called Harkin. He was camped up in a heavily guarded warehouse with an army of mechs defending him. Shepard jumped at the mechs while Thane and Garrus covered her.

Thane followed Shepard’s advance through the scope of his sniper rifle. She beat some of the mechs into smaller pieces than strictly necessary. It looked like she was not entirely unaffected by the events of the day, which came as no surprise to Thane. She was a compassionate person. Garrus was her friend and he was obviously having a tough time. And everything that had happened with Kolyat had probably affected her, too. 

Thane dreaded to contemplate, what Shepard must think of him. She’d heard how he’d abandoned his family. How Irikah had been murdered because of him. How he’d abandoned Kolyat in order to get his revenge. How he’d left his son to be raised by others. How he’d left Mouse. How he’d left everyone, who had ever looked to him for protection and guidance.

Thane took a shot and a breath. A mech that had been about to hit Shepard fell to the ground. She looked back and gave him a wink and a smile before moving on. Thane chuckled. Maybe she didn’t hate him, after all.

After the mechs had fallen, Harkin had no place to run. Garrus roughed him up to get him to set up a meeting with Sidonis. Shepard kept Garrus from doing anything worse to the man. They took a cab to the location Harkin had specified.

“You were pretty rough with him,” Shepard said in the cab.

“That man’s a piece of shit,” Garrus said, “He deserved much worse than what I did to him.”

“I know you want revenge, but do you honestly think that it will make you happy?” she asked, “You’re my friend, Garrus, I don’t want to see you destroy yourself because of this.”

They didn’t see it, but Thane nodded slightly in the backseat. Revenge had not made him happy. Back then, it had felt like justice was being done, but sometimes… He wished things had gone differently. Sometimes he wished he had found the strength to walk away.

“What am I supposed to do, then, Shepard?” Garrus asked, “Walk away? Let Sidonis get away with causing the deaths of my team? You may not agree with me, but I’d still like your help, Shepard.”

“I’ll help you. I just ask that you’ll think it through before doing something you’ll regret,” she said.

The cab stopped and they stepped out. Garrus found a perfect spot for sniping and advised Shepard to keep the mark talking until he was able to take the shot. Since neither of them needed him, Thane made himself scarce and disappeared into the crowd. He watched as the events unfurled.

Garrus spotted Sidonis and told Shepard to make contact. She did. Garrus had the shot and told her to move. She didn’t. Thane froze. Would Garrus be angry enough to take the shot with her in the way? In his mind, he could see the turian’s finger on the trigger. Garrus sounded very agitated through the com – he practically yelled at Shepard, who was taking Sidonis’ confession of the events on Omega.

Thane considered his options. He would never reach Garrus in time to keep him from taking the shot. His best bet was to pull up a barrier over Shepard to keep the worst off her. He began edging towards them.

Thane was only paces away from Shepard when Garrus barked her to let Sidonis go before he’d regret his decision. The terrified turian said a hurried thank you and sorry and ran. Thane took a deep breath and appeared next to Shepard.

“I knew he wouldn’t take the shot,” she said without looking at him.

“And if you had been wrong?”

“Then I might have died protecting my friend, not that sniveling ass of a turian,” she said and looked after Sidonis, “Not that I would have. Garrus is an excellent shot.”

“He is fortunate to have a friend like you, even if he doesn’t feel like that now,” Thane said.

“I don’t know,” Shepard said, “If it wasn’t for me, he wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.”

“If it wasn’t for you, he would hate himself and everything in the galaxy right now.”

Shepard looked closely at him, like she was trying to read his mind.

“Bailey told me about some bad people dying in horrible ways about ten years ago,” she said, “I want you to know that if you need someone to talk to, you can always talk to me.”

“I appreciate the offer, Shepard,” he said.

They walked back to the cab, where a stormy Garrus was waiting for them.

“I’m sure you want to talk about this, but I’m not ready, yet,” he said to Shepard, “First, I’ll have to convince myself that I did the right thing.”

Shepard nodded and they got into the cab in silence.

Thane sat in the backseat, wondering at the mysterious workings of the gods. Here he was, at the end of his life, and they had seen fit to send another Siha into his life. He didn’t feel worthy, but he was thankful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Dark Side is, naturally, a Star Wars reference. I think that the negative emotions flying around in this chapter qualify it for the title. The following chapters should get a little less dark and a little more sunny.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback!


	9. Damn you, Joker!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Er... This chapter has some... Er... Let's say NSFW humor. Of poor taste. Very sorry. This is a cautionary tale of what happens, when I set out to write "something not depressing" without planning, what that means. I will grow up one of these days, I will.

”Joker, why is the world such a depressing place?”

Robyn was lounging in the co-pilot’s seat with her feet up.

“Because people are dumb,” Joker said, “They don’t know how to live.”

“How so?”

“They keep spending their life in stuff that doesn’t matter – killing people, sucking up to others, worrying about disappointing someone,” he listed, “Instead, they should just enjoy the little things. Take pleasure in being alive.”

She thought about it for a while.

“Take me, for instance,” Joker continued, “With my disease, I could spend my entire life sitting at home, crying about how unfair life is. But that would be dumb. And boring and pathetic. So I fly the most awesome ship there is and spend my days in my lovely leather seat. And help you save the galaxy while doing it.”

Robyn smiled at her friend.

“You have a point, there,” she said, “You’re a wise man, Joker. It’s good to see that all that porn hasn’t affected your reasoning.”

“For porn to do that, it would have to be really creepy,” he said, “Like… An elcor doing a salarian creepy.”

Robyn let out a yelp.

“Joker! You did that on purpose. Now that image is stuck in my mind!”

“Desirously: I’m close, oh yes, almost there,” Joker said, trying to imitate the slow, musical speech of the elcor.

“Stop it!”

“Not yet ready, much to think, hold on, harder, harder, more,” Joker continued mercilessly with a salarian-like speech pattern.

“Joker, stop! I beg you, please, stop!”

“Agree with Shepard. Imitation of salarian during intercourse inaccurate. Voice higher during periods of high excitement. Talk faster, too.”

Robyn and Joker turned to look a Mordin, who had come into the cockpit without them noticing. Robyn blushed.

“You talk even faster while going at it?” Joker asked, unabashed, “Seriously?”

“Yes,” Mordin said, “Would be more like- -“

“Please, Mordin, there’s no need to demonstrate,” Robyn cut him off, for she definitely didn’t want to hear a demonstration of what he would sound like while having sex. She’d never be able to look at the professor again.

“As you wish,” Mordin said, “Came to ask about Kepral’s research funding. Will need more money.”

“No problem, Mordin,” Robyn said, “We’re scanning planets all the time and finding more and more resources. We have most of the stuff we’ll need for the mission, so I can direct more credits into the research. Just let me know, how much you need, and I’ll get it for you.”

“Thank you, Shepard,” Mordin said, “Will do my best to help the drell.”

Mordin left the cockpit to continue his research.

“That’s a lot of credits to put into research,” Joker said.

“Some things are more important than others,” Robyn replied, “If we can do something to help an entire species, I think we should do it.”

“And the evident hotness of said species has nothing to do with it, I bet,” Joker said with a leer, “All those lean bodies, clad in tight leather. I can see why they’ve won you over.”

“Just because someone is hot doesn’t mean that they don’t deserve help.”

“I completely agree. In my book, hot people are the ones you feel the best about helping.”

“I believe that,” Robyn said, “You’d jump at the chance to help an asari, wouldn’t you?”

“Hell yeah! Even if it broke some bones,” Joker said with a dreamy look, “And the drell are like male versions of the asari, right? All the women find them insanely hot?”

“Pretty much,” Robyn said, “Have you seen Kelly’s expression when Thane’s around?”

“Have you seen yours?” Joker asked.

“What? Mine? What are you implying?” Robyn asked.

“Come on, Shepard, you’re so obvious,” Joker said, “Whenever he’s around, you’re practically drooling. I have no idea how you’ve managed not to get yourself killed while on the field with him.”

“Hey, I resent that,” Robyn said with mock offense, “I’m not as bad as Kelly. I’m as cool as a cucumber.”

“Not when Thane’s around, you’re not,” Joker said, “You look like you want to eat his cucumber.”

“What’s a cucumber?”

Garrus was standing behind them with a confused look on his face.

“It’s an Earth vegetable,” Robyn said and gave Joker a murderous look.

“Why does Thane have one?” Garrus asked.

“Why do I have one what?” asked Thane as he walked into the cockpit. It was getting crowded.

“A cucumber,” Garrus said, “It’s some sort of Earth vegetable.”

Robyn was red as a beetroot. It was becoming a vegetable-themed gathering, it seemed.

“I don’t know, what that is,” Thane replied and activated his omnitool to do a search about it. He had to be stopped or he would know, what they had been talking about.

“Forget about it, it’s not important,” Robyn hurried to say, “How are you guys doing?”

“Okay,” Garrus replied, “I came to see if you wanted to spar or something.”

“May I be of service?” Thane asked, “I’d be happy to spar with you. I need a change from meditating.”

“Works for me,” Garrus said, “I’ll see you in the gym in a bit.”

“Do you need a referee?” Robyn asked, “I feel kind of bad that I missed your previous match.”

“You should come,” Garrus said, “You could learn something. Like the basics of hand-to-hand.”

“Are you implying that I don’t know them?”

“You’re quick for a blonde,” he replied and grinned, “It’s not really hand-to-hand if just smash into a guy and hit him. Hand-to-hand requires skill.”

“Et tu, Brute?” Robyn quoted.

“What?”

“Shakespeare,” Thane supplied.

“Who?” Garrus asked.

“Never mind that,” Robyn said, “But blonde jokes even from you, Garrus? You continue on that path and I’ll royally kick your ass and make you cry all the way home, my friend.”

“Turians don’t cry.”

“You wanna bet?” Robyn asked with an evil grin.

“That’s it,” Joker said, “You can go continue your trash talk somewhere else and leave me to fly this ship. Off you go, kids.”

\--

It didn’t take long for the word to spread. The edges of the gym were getting filled with every female crew member, who wasn’t needed anywhere else. They were all looking at the match with rapt attention. Robyn didn’t blame them one bit. She was just as eager to look at the two alien hunks battling each other. They were skilled, yes, but they were also very, very sexy. Oh, the noises they made… She was beyond turned on at this point.

Robyn had no idea if Garrus and Thane had a clue as to the attention they were getting. They were focused on the fight, not on the audience. There may have been the occasional glance from Thane in her direction, but she was probably imaging it. He was doing way too well to be thinking about something else besides the battle at hand.

The expression of the watchers and their sheer amount told Robyn that she needed to give her crew shore leave soon. She wasn’t the only one, who needed to get laid. If they wanted, they could do the turian thing and sleep with whoever was on the ship, but the pickings were slim. Garrus was taken, the cute engineer with the adorable accent was taken, Joker was Joker, Jacob was Jacob, Zaeed was Zaeed, Grunt was – don’t even go there, Robyn told herself. As far as she was concerned, Thane was the only interesting guy on the ship and he probably still carried a torch for his dead wife. She must have been amazing to get him.

Robyn looked at the match. It was beginning to wind down. Maybe she should find a random guy and bang him during shore leave. Maybe that would make her stop thinking about eating Thane’s cucumber… Damn you, Joker! That was such a crude way of putting it. And it was highly unlikely that there was any resemblance between a cucumber and Thane’s- - Why was she thinking about this? Curse you, Joker!

The fight ended and the crowd dispersed. Garrus and Thane walked to Robyn.

“Would you like to have a rematch, Shepard?” Thane asked.

Only if it takes place in my bed, she thought. Or in my shower. Or on your cot. Or against a wall in the elevator. Or…

“Shepard? Are you alright?” Thane asked. He looked amused.

Garrus sounded like he was trying not to laugh.

Robyn cleared her throat.

“Maybe some other time, Thane,” she replied, “I need to train my biotics. I haven’t done it in so long that I hear my bootcamp sergeant’s voice yelling at me for neglecting my training.”

Garrus sniggered next to her. Blast him and his dirty mind. Though her sentence was correct, even if you took “done it” to mean something besides biotics training. Except for the sergeant’s voice. It would be creepy to hear him yelling at her for not getting laid in ages. Why was she thinking about stuff like this today? Robyn blamed Joker.

“I should do that, too,” Thane said, “Would you like some company?”

“I would love some,” Robyn replied and gained another snigger from Garrus.

Robyn gave the turian an ugly glance that seemed only to increase his amusement.

“I’ll leave you two to it,” Garrus said and left.

Robyn and Thane found some objects they could move from one place to the next.

“How do you know Shakespeare?” Robyn asked as they began the training.

Thane explained that his years as an assassin had left him with a lot of free time to spend while in a specific place. He liked reading, so he had read. A lot.

“Do you like to read?” he asked.

“Yes,” she replied, “Space travel is like being an assassin that way. During travel, you are stuck on the ship with nothing but time. Reading broadens your mind and kind of sucks you into a different world.”

Thane nodded and looked at the box she was floating around.

“This exercise is too easy,” he said, “We should do something a little more difficult. Do you know how to levitate?”

“I’ve tried it,” Robyn admitted, “But it didn’t go very well.”

It hadn’t. She still remembered how badly her ass had ached after she had spent an afternoon trying to levitate. She had fallen many, many times.

“You should try again,” he said, “It’s a useful skill to have.”

Robyn gave him a look of disbelief.

“Just out of curiosity, in what sort of fight do you see me gaining benefit from floating a foot from the ground? I would literally be a sitting duck.”

“A sitting duck?”

“An expression that means something that is very easy to shoot.”

“Ah,” he said, “Levitating is good if you fall. You will not get badly hurt when you can soften your fall. Like this.”

Thane climbed quickly onto one of the crates. Then he jumped off it and floated slowly down, glowing faintly blue. Damn, that man looked so good, no matter what he did.

“I see what you mean,” Robyn said.

“Go ahead, try it.”

“I’ll need to find something soft to land on,” she replied.

She went to the exercise area and got a few yoga mats. She opened them, piled them up, and sat on them. She closed her eyes and concentrated. She managed to lift herself up a little. She fought to keep going, but it was no use – she fell down.

“That’s the extent of my abilities, I’m afraid,” she said.

Thane looked at her thoughtfully.

“Do it again, please. I think I can help you.”

Robyn shrugged and closed her eyes. She concentrated and got herself afloat. She almost screamed when something toucher her temples. It made her crash and open her eyes. Thane was right in front of her, looking at her.

“You are tense, Shepard,” he said without moving away, “That is blocking you and pulling you to the ground. You need to relax.”

Robyn gulped. She was definitely not relaxed right now, that was true.

“Do you have any suggestions on how I could achieve that?” she asked.

Thane extended his hands towards her head but paused right before they touched her temples.

“If I may?” he said.

She nodded. He put his hands on her temples and rubbed them slowly. He looked concentrated. Robyn just stared and focused on keeping her mouth shut. After he considered her temples to be relaxed enough, he moved behind her and began massaging her shoulders and back. It was heavenly, though relaxation was not the feeling she was getting. Robyn was basking in his touch and his presence.

The massage was over way too soon. Thane stepped back.

“Try it again,” he said.

Robyn closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She owed it to Thane to try to do better. And the muscles, unlike her libido, did feel more relaxed than they had before his administrations. She let her biotics flow and floated.

“Well done,” Thane said when Robyn let herself touch the ground again.

“Thank you. That was all your doing,” she said and smiled at him.

“Anytime.”

They took the elevator and parted ways at the crew deck. Robyn continued her way up. She should probably take a shower and think about Thane’s cucumber- - Damn you, Joker!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, my apologies. I blame Joker.


	10. Blending in

”Would suggest haste, Shepard. Only a few minutes to save lives.”

“Thanks, Mordin, that hadn’t occurred to me,” Robyn said and shot a geth down from its perch.

Robyn swore. She hated time crunches from the bottom of her heart. Technically, she was always working on a deadline, but it was different when the clock said five minutes instead of five months. Time crunches made her palms sweat. It was bad enough that you had to kill geth but to do that on a tight schedule? And to hack while they shot at you? Not her favorite pastime by a long shot.

“You getting old, Shepard?” Jack asked, “You move like an old lady. You sure you remember how hacking works?”

“You die and get brought back two years later and then we’ll see how well you take to being the living dead,” Robyn said and finished her job, “Done! No crashing for this ship.”

“About time,” Jack commented, “I was getting bored.”

“Next time you do the hacking and I’ll do the trash talk,” Robyn replied.

“I don’t think so,” Jack said, “Trash talk is more fun.”

“I want to have fun, too.”

“You’re in charge,” Jack replied, “You’re not supposed to have fun. If it was fun, everyone would want to be you.”

“You mean that they don’t want to be me now?” Robyn asked.

Jack gave her a look that said it all.

\--

Robyn and Thane were discussing the near extinction of drell. She was a little confused by how they had gotten there. It had begun with her asking him about assassins and somehow that had led them to argue about what slavery was and how the Compact wasn’t slavery according to him. He had quoted Thomas Hobbes which raised him even higher in Robyn’s estimation, if that was possible.

Thane shared a memory with her. It was clearly significant to him, but he didn’t explain it further. Instead, he told her about drell memory and the danger lurking in solipsism.

“Thinking about a moment brings back the smell of cut grass, the warmth of another’s hand on yours, the taste of another’s tongue in your mouth,” Thane said.

Robyn’s brain skidded into a halt mid-thought. Had he just said that?

“Wouldn’t you rather lose yourself in such a memory than spend the night alone, staring at walls of metal and plastic?” he continued.

Robyn swallowed. Maybe he hadn’t meant anything by it. If he was human, that would definitely mean flirting. But he was not human.

“I’d rather have the real thing,” Robyn replied, “But I see what you mean.”

Thane gave her a smile.

“I appreciate these chats we have,” he said.

“You’ve spent a lot of your life alone, Thane,” Robyn blurted out, though it felt stupid to say as it came out of her mouth.

“Work fulfilled me. Reading. I barely spoke to anyone outside of my family,” Thane said, “It seems that there will be no one to mourn me when I die. You’re the only friend I’ve made in ten years.”

Robyn realized that this was her one chance. She’d let him know that if he wished it, she would like to… There were too many things to make a list. She’d do anything to him if he asked.

“’Friend’, huh? It’s a start,” she said.

Thane smiled at her with a fire in his eyes. Robyn’s mind went, “yippee!”

“’A start?’ That is intriguing.”

Robyn left the room with the widest of smiles on her face.

\--

“Blast it!” Robyn swore, “Why do we keep finding these assignments that have only five minutes before everything goes to hell? Why couldn’t it be like six minutes for a change? Or even ten?”

“We don’t need ten minutes,” Grunt said, “There were only batarians. They are weak. They didn’t even slow us down.”

“It’s easy to take a shot between the eyes,” Zaeed said, “Ugly bastards have so many to choose from.”

“The killing was easy, the hacking is hard,” Robyn said between her teeth, “Damn, I should have brought a nerd. I hate this shit.”

“A nerd? Is that a snack?” Grunt asked.

“To you, maybe,” Robyn said, “Generally nerd means someone tech savvy, who enjoys doing crap like this.”

“But you like hacking,” Grunt said.

“I like stealing money from mercs,” Robyn replied, “Trying to abort a missile strike is completely different.”

“Doesn’t look like it.”

“Done,” Robyn said and looked at the monitor, “Bugger, I was too late. I only have time to stop one of the missiles. I can save the capital, at least. I hope they have lots of boxes, because they will all have to move.”

Robyn made the choice and watched as the Alliance base monitor blacked out.

“They’ll blame you for having to move,” Zaeed said matter-of-factly.

“I know. But it’s far better than me having to blame myself for their deaths.”

\--

Kelly told Robyn that Samara wanted to see her, so she went to look for the asari. When she opened the door to the observation deck, she found two floating figures instead of one.

“Sorry to bother you two. Good to see you, Thane. Samara, Kelly said that you wanted to speak to me?”

“I should leave you to talk in peace,” Thane said.

“There is no need,” Samara said, “As a member of the crew, this concerns you, as well.”

“As you wish,” Thane said and remained.

Samara looked into the vast space and began telling about the Ardat-Yakshi she had spent 400 years chasing. It was the most important thing in her life and the reason she had become a justicar. Shepard listened to the tale in horror and awe. Morinth had the ability to kill her victim while mating. She was addicted to killing. And to top it off, she was Samara’s daughter.

“My daughter’s condition is my fault. My redemption lies in killing her. I have hundreds of years left to live with that,” she said with the air of finality.

“I’m sorry, Samara,” Robyn said silently, “We’ll go to Omega that you can finish your mission.”

“Thank you, Shepard.”

Robyn and Thane left Samara. Robyn was headed to the elevator when she felt a light touch on her arm. She stopped and turned to look at the concerned eyes of Thane. It was unusual that he touched her, but she liked it.

“This mission worries me, Shepard,” he said, “Will you take me with you when you go to Omega?”

“If you wish to go, then sure,” Robyn said and squeezed his hand.

“Thank you.”

\--

When he stepped a foot on Omega, Thane was even more alert than normal. Everything he had heard of Samara’s daughter had made him edgy. The things they learned on Omega didn’t make his mind any more restful about the murderer they were after. She had killed a sweet, innocent girl for sport and pleasure. He knew how to deal with people like that. He had dealt with people like that.

He was about to suggest that he take Morinth out by himself, when Samara and Shepard began hatching their plan. A heaviness landed on his chest while they talked it through. Shepard as bait? To be alone with such a dangerous murdered? No. It should not be. She was too important to put at risk in such a reckless manner.

“If I may,” he said, “I’d like to propose a different approach.”

“Go on,” Shepard said and smiled at him that radiant smile of hers.

“I could be the bait,” he said, “I have done similar things before with success. Shepard could be the backup and blend into the crowd.”

“I am afraid that would not work,” Samara said, “Morinth is only attracted to women. She might find you intriguing, but not someone she would pursue.”

“But it was sweet of you to offer,” Shepard said.

Thane nodded in acknowledgement. If he could not be the bait, he could still watch out for her.

They returned to the ship to prepare for the evening. Thane went to the main battery. He knew someone, who would like to join him.

“Garrus, do you have a moment?”

“Sure, just killing time anyway,” the turian said, “How was Omega?”

“Just as Omega always is.”

“Filthy?”

“Yes. In many ways,” Thane said, “I have a suggestion you might be amenable to.”

“Sounds interesting. Let’s hear it.”

Thane explained about Morinth and what Samara and Shepard were planning to do about her.

“Shepard as bait?” Garrus said, “I don’t like this.”

“Neither do I, but they saw no other way,” Thane replied, “She’s going without armor, no less. I thought we might go out to enjoy the nightlife of Omega and look out for her in Afterlife.”

Garrus grinned.

“I like your plan. Shepard wouldn’t deny us the possibility of enjoying a night out. And it’s only fair that we get to choose, where we spend said night.”

“Exactly,” Thane said, “I’ll see you at the airlock about half an hour before Shepard is scheduled to leave.”

“See you then.”

\--

“I thought this was just going to be you and I,” Thane said, “Do you care to explain, what happened, Garrus?”

“Well… I thought that Grunt would want to protect Shepard, too, so I told him. He told Mordin and Zaeed, who told Jack and Kasumi heard them.”

Thane looked at the group.

“Does it matter? Everyone wants to watch Shepard hit on an asari,” Jack said.

“That’s the goddamn truth,” Zaeed agreed, “Maybe we’ll get so see some good stuff.”

“The idea was to protect her. From stealth. How do you suggest we accomplish that now?” Thane asked.

“Krogans don’t do stealth,” Grunt said.

“No stealth, but can blend in. Many krogans on Omega. Blood Pack, mercenaries,” Mordin said.

“He’s right,” Jack said, “Don’t sweat it, we’ll have fun.”

Thane was not so certain but there was nothing to be done. He had new appreciation for Shepard as a leader for being able to handle this team.

“Fine,” he said, “I have forwarded the necessary information to your omnitools. Go into the VIP area in small groups and try to spread out. Act as if it’s just another night on the town and don’t get into trouble.”

“It’s not just another night if no one gets into trouble,” Jack pointed out.

“That’s true,” Kasumi agreed.

“The point is not to draw unnecessary attention to ourselves,” Thane explained.

“You said that to a woman who walks around with her tits out,” Zaeed said.

“Because you’re all about blending in, old man,” Jack replied, “Just add an eyepatch.”

They continued bickering when they left the Normandy in small groups to take different routes into the nightclub.

“There are so many ways this could go wrong,” Garrus said.

Thane nodded.

“I’m going to pray,” he said.

“I think I should do that, too.”

The men parted ways. Garrus walked towards Afterlife while Thane disappeared into the shadows. He wanted to see Shepard safely to her destination. So, he waited.

At the designated time, Shepard appeared and headed towards the VIP area of Afterlife. Thane followed her. Thane felt wrong seeing her out of armor outside the ship. She looked much more helpless than she usually did, and strangely defenseless without her beloved shotgun. Not that she couldn’t take care of herself without a gun, but he found her appearance disconcerting none the less.

If Thane hadn’t been watching Shepard so diligently, he would have missed the look of distress that crossed her features in an empty alley. It seemed that she was not completely comfortable with her mission, but had been putting up a brave face for the sake of the others. Thane couldn’t let her walk into the club without her confidence.

“Shepard,” he said and stepped out of the shadows.

She turned around with a look of surprise.

“Thane, what are you doing here?”

He walked closer to her and looked her straight in the eye.

“I’m looking out for you,” he said.

He raised his hand and took the liberty of caressing her cheek gently with his fingers. She sighed and shivered under his touch. He quite liked her reaction. He would revisit the memory once he had the time.

“I saw you look troubled,” he said, “You must not enter battle with a troubled mind. You must believe in yourself or you’ll give your opponent the advantage.”

“I’ve never done anything like this before,” she admitted, “I’m not really the honey trap sort of soldier. I doubt whether Morinth will even want to approach me. I’m not that intriguing or mysterious or whatever it is that attracts people. I’m just… You know. Me.”

She cast her gaze down and looked dispirited. She seemed to genuinely believe that Morinth would not find her attractive. Thane was determined to change her mind.

“Shepard,” he said which made her look up, “You are intriguing and beautiful. You will be the most interesting person in that club and she won’t be able to keep herself from getting to know you. I definitely couldn’t. And to remind you how desirable you are, I am going to give you something.”

“What?” she asked with fascination in her eyes.

As a reply, Thane took hold of her face and bent down a little to give her the most gentle of kisses. Or that had been his plan, anyway. Then she made that sighing noise again. He couldn’t let go of her just yet. The kiss went on. She moaned and opened her mouth. Before he realized it, his tongue had wandered into her mouth and was playing with hers. After another moment, he had walked her against the wall and was pressing her into it with his body. His hands had wandered down from her face and were exploring her body with great eagerness. Hers were doing the same. It was amazing.

It took all of Thane’s presence of mind to stop what he was doing and to take a step back from Shepard. They were both a little short of breath and she was blushing, but smiling.

“You turned me on and are sending me off to a predator, who kills you by having sex with you,” she said, “You have an interesting approach to missions, Sere Krios.”

“Be careful, Shepard,” he said, “I’ll be watching out for you.”

“You just had your tongue down my throat, Thane,” she said, “Might it be the time to call me something else?”

“As you wish, Siha.”

“What?”

“I’ll see you later,” he said and disappeared.

Thane followed Shepard’s progress in the club. She worked the crowd masterfully and did everything that would help to gain her the attention of the Ardat-Yakshi. Even though her dancing skills were not much, Thane enjoyed watching her dance. She also managed to save a reporter from her own stupidity.

The crew of the Normandy didn’t cause as much trouble as Thane had feared. He hoped that Morinth would make her move before the crew got more drunk because inebriation was bound to cause difficulties. Jack and Grunt were not quiet drunks. Thane would never have thought to count himself lucky for being on Omega, but on this night he did. In this hellhole, the Normandy crew fitted right in.

Thane was at the bar when a strong feeling of danger and wrongness took him over. He didn’t need to look. He knew that the Ardat-Yakshi was near. He could hear Shepard talking to a woman, who had to be Morinth. Her presence geared Thane’s stress level to new heights. This was a predator, indeed. He had to fight the urge to go grab Shepard and take her as far away from the Ardat-Yakshi as possible. Instead, he focused on his breathing and listened to their conversation. Shepard said all the right things, all the things her companion wanted to hear. All the things that were not like her. In no time at all, she got invited to Morinth’s home.

The two women walked swiftly to an apartment. Thane followed behind in the shadows. They got inside while he remained out. The window was one-sided, so he saw nothing.

“Why are you here?” Samara’s voice asked him.

“I came for Shepard,” he said and looked at the formidable asari standing next to him.

“Shepard will be unharmed. This is between me and my daughter,” she said and got inside.

Thane dared not follow her. The sounds of fighting started and ended. Samara and Shepard exited the building. Samara went to the Normandy and Shepard walked to him.

“Are you alright?” he asked her.

“Yes, nothing happened to me,” she said, “I’m sad for Samara because she had to do that. I can’t imagine how terrible it must have been.”

“The Ardat-Yakshi didn’t try to control you?”

“She did, but she wasn’t successful.”

“That’s impressive,” he said.

“Not as impressive as you,” she said and gave him a sly smile, “You’re a great kisser, by the way.”

“I meant that- -”

“I know what you meant but I’d rather think about something less Sturm und Drang now. How about a drink? I should probably give the others a call to see if they want one, too.”

“Ah,” he said, “I believe that you’ll find that to be unnecessary.”

“Meaning?”

“We were all concerned for you safety,” he said, “I mentioned my worry for you to Garrus and suggested that he join me in watching your back.”

“I see where this is going,” she said, “They’re all there, aren’t they?”

Thane nodded.

“Okay, let’s go get them out of trouble,” she said and headed towards the club, “One of them is bound to have gotten into a mess.”

\--

“Let me get this straight,” Robyn said, scowling at the team, “A krogan started complaining to Mordin about genophage and Mordin complained right back about the krogan. The krogan tried to punch him and Mordin put him out. His buddies were about to attack Mordin three-on-one when Grunt stepped in, because, I quote, ‘No one attacks Shepard’s professor.’ The fight caused Jack’s drink to spill which made her angry enough to punch the closest krogan, who was not even originally in the fight. A batarian yelled something offensive about Jack’s breasts, which caused Zaeed to attack him. All this while, Garrus tried to yell at everyone, I quote, ‘To behave or he’d tell Shepard’ and Kasumi was giggling. Did I get it right?”

The reasonably repentant-looking group gave a collection of silent yesses.

“Guys, I’m touched that you cared enough to watch out for me,” she said, “But I’m assuming that getting into a fight was not in the original plan?”

“The original plan was to be stealthy,” Thane said.

“With Grunt and Jack?”

“The amended plan was to blend in.”

“Fighting is blending in on Omega,” Jack pointed out.

“Yes, marvelous, outside of the box thinking,” Robyn said, “Well, thanks for the intention. It was beautiful, even if the execution needs a little more work. I think it’s time to call it a night and return to the ship, don’t you?”

The group left with a few grumbles. Robyn and Thane hanged back.

“This has been an interesting night,” she said.

“It definitely has.”

“Still, there are some things I’d love to relive.”

“Such as?”

She gave him a wry smile.

“The taste of another’s tongue in your mouth, the warmth of another’s hand on your ass,” she said, trying to imitate the way he had said it earlier.

Thane let out a little laugh.

“Ah, yes,” he said, “I am looking forward to living that memory again.”

“As I said, I prefer the real thing,” she said, “So, if you want to refresh those memories, you are welcome to do so.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, Siha.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry to say that there won't be another chapter for a while. I have a long stretch of work coming and it will not allow me to spend my time on writing. As an apology, this chapter is a little longer than normal. A new chapter should appear in about two weeks or so.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback! :)


	11. Life after Death Isn't So Bad

Thane opened his eyes and returned to reality. He listened to the familiar sounds of the Normandy and sighed. He had spent the entire morning in meditation, trying to come to some sort of an understanding of how he felt about Shepard. So far, he had not been successful.

She was Commander Shepard – the hero, the icon, the legend. She was the first human Spectre, the savior of the Citadel. She was respected all around the galaxy, she had friends and admirers in practically every race.

The real person behind the legend was no less formidable. She had power and wisdom but she didn’t misuse either. She kept to her personal code of ethics. She valued her friends and protected them like the Siha she was.

In addition to all of this, she was beautiful and desirable. Thane had noticed that she was unaware that she was those things, which added to her charms in his mind. All in all, he found Commander Robyn Shepard altogether enticing and almost irresistible. He was a man, after all – how could he say no to such a woman?

The problem was that he was not only a man, but a dying man. It was technically true that every man was a dying man but, in his case, death was more imminent. He didn’t have much time left. Unless Mordin succeeded, but he couldn’t put his hopes on the professor.

The bottom line was that Thane couldn’t give Shepard a future. It would be unfair to accept her affection and enjoy her for the little time he had and then to leave her to grieve after he was gone. She’d already had too much grief in her life.

This would all be very straightforward if there wasn’t that little voice in his head that would not be silenced. It said that they were on a suicide mission. It said that both he and Shepard should take everything out of the time they had left and not worry about a future neither of them might never have. That Shepard had indeed had a lot of sorrow in her life, but it meant that she knew how to deal with loss and how to take every benefit from the good things life gave her. Thane liked listening to that voice far too much.

Thane got up and headed to the mess. He hadn’t eaten yet and was feeling hungry. The mess had a few people to whom he nodded as a greeting and gathered some breakfast food on his tray. He took the tray to the table and sat opposite Garrus, who was just finishing his meal.

“Good morning,” Garrus said, “So, that sneaking thing didn’t quite go as planned last night.”

Thane gave him a look.

“Sorry about that,” Garrus said, “But it all worked out in the end, since nothing bad happened to Shepard. I’m not looking forward to getting another lecture like that from her, though.”

The turian shuddered at the thought. Thane cracked a smile.

“She didn’t seem very angry,” he said.

“She doesn’t get angry at us, she gets disappointed. That’s much worse,” Garrus said and continued with a more serious tone, “You see it in her eyes that you’ve let her down. That’s a horrible feeling. She does so much for everyone else and then we go and mess up. I’ve let her down too many times.”

“I don’t think she looks at it that way,” Thane said. She blames herself, he thought.

“Probably not, but that’s how I feel,” Garrus said.

“You should speak with her,” Thane said, “She’d lay your fears to rest.”

“She’s good at that,” Garrus said and looked at him closely, “Since when are you such a pillar of support and optimism? Where is the gloomy assassin who thinks that the galaxy is a terrible place and who believes that entropy will win in the end?”

“The galaxy is a terrible place,” Thane said.

“Right,” Garrus said slowly, looking doubtful, “Seems to me that you have caught some of Shepard’s optimism. What I’m curious about is whether the infection has been from contact. Close and extended contact.”

“If you want to ask something, go ahead.”

“Are you sleeping with Shepard?”

“No, I am not.”

“But you want to,” Garrus stated and continued without giving Thane a chance to reply, “And she wants you. She has wanted you from the moment she saw you.”

Thane blinked. Surely Garrus was exaggerating?

“Why do you say that?”

“You should have seen the way she froze when she watched you kill Nassana and her people.”

Despite himself, Thane let out a pleased hum, which made Garrus laugh.

“I don’t get why the two of you are still dancing around each other,” he said, “If you two were turian, you’d have been fucking for weeks.”

“Is that what happened between you and Tali’Zorah?” Thane asked.

“Er… Not exactly,” Garrus said, sounding suddenly very awkward. 

“I’m sorry,” Thane said, “I was under the impression that you two are a couple.”

“I… Uh… Well… We haven’t seen each other for a while. After Shepard’s death, everything was different. I.. Kind of went rogue without… You know… Telling her about it. She may be a little… How do you say…”

“Angry?” Thane suggested.

“’Bloody furious’ is how Shepard put it,” Garrus said, “But I miss her. I want to see her again, even if it means getting yelled at and sworn at in many different languages.”

“You love her.”

Garrus made a very Shepard like shrug.

“I’m also looking forward to the time she’ll be done being mad at me. We did always have the most amazing make up sex,” Garrus said and grinned.

Thane smiled at the turian. He understood why Shepard liked him so much. It would be difficult not to.

“Have you seen Shepard this morning?” Thane asked.

“No,” Garrus replied, “I think she went to ground.”

“I wasn’t aware of a mission”, Thane said, “Who did she take?”

“Shepard went alone,” EDI said.

“That’s against her usual protocol,” Thane said, “Why did she do that? Where is she?”

“She didn’t explain her reasons,” EDI said, “She is on Alchera now.”

Thane and Garrus looked at each other with similar expressions of worry. They got up simultaneously, put their trays away, and headed towards the cockpit.

\--

Robyn stared at nothing. She was unaware of how long she’d been doing that after placing the monument and collecting the dog tags of her dead crew members. Alchera’s scenery was white and unmoving, kind of like death itself. There was no sound, no change, no life. It seemed like a place where time stood still but no one cared because no one noticed.

There was an old expression that described a bad feeling. “I felt like someone walked over my grave,” they used to say. Robyn was feeling doubly strange, because now it was her, who was walking over her own grave.

Still, it wasn’t her grave, was it? She was alive and kicking. Kicking ass, to be more exact. And she was perfectly fine – better than fine, really. Thanks to Project Lazarus, she was better than she had been before. She was saving the galaxy again. She had her friends. She had a great ship. She had a gorgeous drell, who had kissed her so passionately that she was still feeling the aftereffects. Life after death was awesome. Would have been even more awesome without the Collectors and the Reapers, but you couldn’t have everything, could you?

Robyn felt sorrow for the people they had lost. They had been good people, who had deserved better than what they had gotten, like people often did. There was nothing she could do for them now. Or almost nothing.

Robyn looked around. This place called for a melody of sorrow. And of hope. She turned her com off. She liked to sing but she never did it when someone could hear. Here, no one would. So, she sang the one song she felt appropriate to this place. She sang Amazing Grace.

\--

As soon as she stepped out of the shuttle, Robyn found herself staring into the worried faces of Thane and Garrus.

“Are you alright?” Thane asked.

“Yes, I’m fine, guys,” she said, “I appreciate the concern, but there’s no need to worry.”

“Why did you switch your com off?” Garrus asked.

“There was something I felt like doing in memory of my crew,” she said.

“You could have warned us,” Garrus said, “It really freaked us all out when you did that.”

“I’m sorry,” she replied, “I had no idea anyone was that interested in what was going on. Which was nothing, trust me.”

“You didn’t think we’d be concerned that you went alone to the place that was your… You know,” Garrus said.

“My grave?” Robyn said, “You can say it, Garrus, it’s okay. Yes, I died, but I got over it and moved on. Or hope to, one day. Until it happens again.”

“How are you feeling?” Thane asked.

“I’m happy to be alive,” she said and smiled at her friends, “And I’m thankful for you guys, I really am.”

That gained her some relieved smiles. It was heartwarming that they worried for her.

“You are the best,” she said, “I want to hug you two so bad. Can I?”

“Fine,” Garrus said and Thane nodded.

Robyn gave Garrus a warm hug and sent him on his way. Then she turned to Thane, who pulled her into a tight embrace.

“You won’t be defeated, will you, Siha?” Thane whispered into her ear.

“Not a chance,” she replied.

Robyn’s hands wandered downwards on Thane’s back.

“If you don’t stop that, I won’t be able to walk back to my room without everyone knowing how very thrilled I am to have you back in my arms,” Thane purred into her ear. The sound went straight to her core.

“I would love to see that,” she said, “But I don’t want to put you into a difficult position.”

It wasn’t easy, but Robyn let go of him and stepped away. She knew that she was blushing and that her eyes were burning but she didn’t care. Thane should see the effect he had on her. Going by the crooked smile on his face, he did see it and he liked what he saw.

“I’m sure that there are important matters that need your attention,” he said, “We’ll continue this at another time.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

Robyn followed Thane with her gaze, her eyes focusing on his amazing ass. When she realized, what she was doing, she pulled herself together and went to see Joker.

“Hey, Joker,” she said and sat next to him.

“How was it?” he asked.

“Silent. White. Nothing moved.”

“Like an old folks’ home?”

Robyn grinned.

“Something like that, yes.”

“I have a suggestion. More of a request, really,” Joker said.

“Alright, let’s hear it.”

“It would save me from a lot of trouble and emotional stuff if you told your boys more about what you’re doing and where,” Joker said, “They were hovering here for a long time, looking broody and worried. It was annoying.”

“Sorry that they kept you from your porn, Joker,” Robyn said.

“I do other stuff, too, you know,” he said, “I’m being serious, Shepard. They care about you.”

“I know. I’ll be better, I promise.”

“I care, too.”

“I know,” she said and smiled at him, “But don’t you go all mushy on me, now, Joker.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Joker said, “Did I tell you that I actually found that elcor/salarian porn I talked about?”

“You didn’t.”

“Yes, I did,” Joker said with glee, “And Mordin was right. The salarian was talking really fast when the going got good…”

“Ew! I don’t want to know! Why would you even watch that?”

“Aren’t you curious?”

“Not one bit!”

“Suit yourself,” Joker said and shrugged, “Just so you know, it wasn’t that bad. I’ve seen worse.”

“I bet you have.”

“There was this one vid with an asari and a Reaper- -“

“Joker!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but now I'm back.
> 
> That thing about the asari and the Reaper was not my idea - I'm not that twisted. It was suggested to me, but my response was and still is, "dude, no way". This is all I'm going to say about it.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback! I already have some ideas for the next chapter... :)


	12. A Drunken Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the chapter I set out to write but somehow this is what turned up. I have stuff for Tuchanka, but this would have become a monster of a chapter if I'd added it here. So that's next. Unless something like this happens again.
> 
> I'm under the impression that some people are so fond of Kaidan that if you intend to diss him you ought to warn people beforehand. So, this is me warning you about the Kaidan-unfriendly content in this chapter.

”Normandy to Shepard – are you still with us?”

Robyn looked up guiltily at Kasumi.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention,” she said, “It’s just that… Yesterday, I saw what my life could have been like. I never thought I’d say this, but I may have gotten the better deal.”

“Pragia was bad?” the thief asked.

“Really bad,” Robyn said, “I felt incredibly sorry for every kid they had ever taken there. I can’t believe how anyone could justify to themselves doing stuff like that to any person, let alone kids. It was inhumane. After seeing and hearing all that, I find Jack surprisingly sane.”

“What made you think that it could have happened to you?” Kasumi inquired.

“There was another survivor. His name is Aresh. He’d recruited a bunch of mercs to search the place with him. He wanted to start it up again. He’d made himself believe that there had to be a reason for all the suffering he had gone through, that it wasn’t all pure madness.”

“Mad as a hatter, then.”

“To be sure,” Robyn said and nodded, “Because he was certain that there must be a reason, he wanted to start it all up again.”

“Broken people do stupid stuff,” Kasumi said, “You killed him, right?”

“No, and I didn’t let Jack kill him, either. He’s broken beyond repair. He didn’t cause it, it’s not his fault. We let him go. He won’t be able to accomplish his goal now that the facility is gone.”

“That was one hell of an explosion,” Kasumi said with a smile, “But what makes you think that this could have happened to you? Your biotics?”

“Aresh. He said that he was, like so many others, brought there by batarian pirates.”

“Ah.”

They remained silent for some time.

“That’s heavy,” Kasumi said, “Can I get you a drink? Or a dozen? Drinking would cheer you up.”

“Isn’t it a bit early for that?”

“It’s always nighttime somewhere.”

Robyn’s first instinct was to say no, but then she considered it. She hadn’t drunk in a long time and she could really use some alcohol after all that had happened lately.

“What the hell,” she said and dialed Miranda, “Miranda? You’re in charge for a few hours, starting now. I’m getting drunk. Shepard out.”

Kasumi grinned at her and got behind the bar.

“Nice,” she said, “What would you like?”

“A pretty drink with an umbrella in it,” Robyn said, “I figured that I’m owed some alcohol. And it’s not like Cerberus has any regulations about this sort of thing. And we won’t hit Tuchanka until tomorrow.”

“Sounds logical to me,” Kasumi said. 

The thief prepared two drinks and brought them over to the couch. She handed Robyn one of them and sat down.

“To your health,” she said and raised her glass.

“Come on, Kasumi,” Robyn said, “That’s just boring. I’m sure we can come up with something better to toast to than that.”

“Like fine asses in tight, black leather?”

“Now you’re talking,” Robyn said with a grin, “Intriguing men with a glint in their eye?”

“Yes,” Kasumi said with a dreamy look on her face, “Who are handy with weapons.”

“Weapons in general or with their own?” Robyn asked.

“Both. Definitely both.”

“I’ll toast to that,” Robyn said. 

They clinked their glasses and took a drink.

“Speaking of which,” Kasumi said, “How’s Thane in the sack?”

“I don’t know but I assume that he’s marvelous,” Robyn said, “He seems the kind of guy who’s good at everything he does.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? You haven’t slept with him yet?”

“No.”

“But you’ve been lusting after him since you met him! What’s the problem?”

“There’s no problem. I just recently found out that he’s interested in me, too,” Robyn said, “To be honest, I was a little surprised.”

“Why wouldn’t he be interested? You’re Commander Shepard!”

“Have you seen the other women on this ship? Yourself included?” Robyn asked, “It’s like working with freaking supermodels. If I allowed myself to care about stuff like that, I’d be too depressed to do anything than wolf down chocolate and cry about the unfairness of life.”

“You’re an idiot, Shepard, you know that?”

“Yes, I do. That’s another thing that’s against me. Thane’s a smart guy. Why would he be interested in an idiot?”

“I didn’t mean that and you know it,” Kasumi said, “You’re idiot in the special kind of way many smart people are. And when it comes to guys.”

“And you’re the expert?” Robyn asked and gave the other woman a questioning look.

“Compared to you,” she replied, “I did have a long term relationship. When was the last time you even had a date?”

“I’d prefer not to say,” Robyn answered, “I have been in the Alliance for a long time. They have regs about that stuff.”

“Like you’d care,” Kasumi said, “Did you date anyone on the original Normandy, for example?”

“No,” Robyn replied, “But it was slim pickings, trust me.”

“Why? I bet there were people lining up for you.”

“Well, there were two, who would have been willing.”

“Why not take one? Or both?”

“Because they were Kaidan and Liara.”

“I don’t see that as an explanation,” Kasumi said.

“I’m not into women, so Liara is out based on being one,” Robyn said, “And Kaidan is… Kaidan.”

“What’s wrong with him?”

“The list is long,” Robyn said and took a sip from her drink, “But to summarize, he’s an annoying crybaby, who used to follow me around looking like a kicked puppy. He used to go down at the drop of a hat and then just lie there and leave us to do all the work.”

Kasumi’s eyes were wide.

“Sounds like quite the party,” she said, “Who else was involved?”

“The ground crew, of course,” Robyn said, “You know, Liara, Ashley, Garrus, Tali, Wrex.”

“You had an orgy with a krogan in attendance? I’m impressed.”

Robyn looked at Kasumi.

“What on earth are you talking about?”

“Weren’t you talking about an orgy?”

“No. I was talking about fighting,” Robyn said, “What in the world made you think that I was talking about an orgy?”

“You said that Kaidan used to go down on you and then leave you to do all the work,” Kasumi said.

Robyn shuddered at the mental image.

“I meant in a fight,” she said, “He used to fall instantly and then lie there, useless, moaning…”

“Dirty!”

“Stop your filthy mind, woman!” Robyn said, “Can we please talk about something else?”

“Killjoy,” Kasumi said, “Fine. Tell me about Garrus and Tali.”

“Oh, that’s a good story. See, one time, Garrus needed some help with calibrating the mako’s gun…”

\--

Right after Thane had fallen asleep, he was awakened by the beeping of his omnitool. He was surprised when he saw the caller-ID.

“Kasumi? What can I do for you?” he asked.

“The Commander Sheppppherd requi.. requiqui… Needs your help,” the thief slurred. She was obviously very drunk.

“Is something the matter?” he asked and sat up in his cot.

“Nothing wrong, honest, hottie,” the woman replied, “Shees, she’s… Whatstheword… Inthox… Inthoxidated?”

“Intoxicated?” Thane offered. He got up and headed towards the door.

“Knew it wassomethinglike… That. You’re so smart. So mart and sexy,” Kasumi said and giggled.

“Where is she?” Thane asked.

“In here with me,” Kasumi said, “Where the booze is. Or was. Must be was. Isn’t anymore, no booze anymore.”

“A-huh,” Thane said and closed the call.

Thane arrived at Kasumi’s room. The thief was sitting at that bar with a dreamy look in her eyes and a drink in her hand. There were a lot of umbrellas around the room. Shepard was sleeping on the couch with a small smile on her face.

“You’re here!” Kasumi announced from her seat, “The hero in black leather. I like it. She likes it. Everyone likes it, yes.”

Thane looked at Shepard. She was sleeping but her position was not good and the sofa didn’t look comfortable. It would be better for her if she slept in her own bed. Thane crouched down and shook her a little.

“Shepard,” he said, “Shepard, wake up. You have to get to your own bed to sleep.”

She opened her eyes a little and gave him a drunken, but radiant, smile.

“Thane,” she purred, “Are you ever going to take me to bed?”

A flash of lust shot through him. He wanted to do that, but this was not the time.

“Right now I’m going to take you to your bed,” he said.

“No fun,” she said and closed her eyes again.

Thane slipped his hands under her and picked her up carefully. She leaned her head against his shoulder and made a satisfied sound. He would enjoy remembering that sound. He carried her into the elevator and pressed the button for the captain’s cabin. During the ride, she nuzzled her face against him. It felt so good that it made him hum his enjoyment.

“I like that sound,” she said slowly and opened her eyes to look at him, “Can you do it again?”

He did. After listening to it for a while, she tried imitating it. It wasn’t quite right, but that didn’t bother him. They looked at each other and smiled, humming.

The elevator door opened and Thane stepped through. He opened the door to the cabin, walked to the bed, and deposited Shepard on it.

“Is there something that would make you feel better in the morning?” Thane asked.

“You could stay with me,” she said, “That would make me feel better in the morning.”

“Not tonight, siha,” he replied and caressed her cheek.

“You could give her some medicine,” EDI said, “She keeps it in the bottom drawer of her nightstand.”

“Thank you, EDI,” Thane said.

He fetched a glass of water and took out the pill. He propped Shepard into a sitting position and gave her the pill and the glass. She took that medicine with some water and he laid her gently down again.

“You’re such a gentlemen to take care of me,” she said, “Thank you.”

“You’re most welcome, siha,” he said, “You deserve to have someone take care of you for once.”

“I’m sorry that I’m so bothersome when I’m drunk.”

“You’re sweet when you’re drunk,” he said, “But don’t make it into a habit, it’s not good for you. Goodnight, siha.”

“Goodnight, Thane.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and feedback! See you next time on Tuchanka :) (Probably)


	13. Contraceptive Schedules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Work again, and work-related exhaustion... And Daredevil. ;) Okay - in my case, more the Punisher than Daredevil. Anyways... Here's the chapter. Hope you like it.

Thane was about to go to the mess for breakfast when there was a chime to indicate that someone was behind his door, requesting entry. He opened the door and found Shepard. He looked her over quickly. She didn’t look like she was particularly hungover. She looked like she always did. There was no lingering scent of old alcohol. In fact, she smelled very nice. And she was smiling shyly, if such a word could be applied to Shepard.

“Good morning, Thane,” she said.

“Good morning, siha. How are you feeling?”

“If you are referring to my inebriated state of the previous night, I’m pleased to inform you that I’m feeling well. My enhanced body must be more equipped to deal with alcohol than the original. Plus, you did give me a pill which must have helped a lot,” she said and smiled, “Might I come in for a moment?”

“Of course,” he said and stood aside to let her in.

Shepard took a step into the room. It brought her very close to Thane. The door shut but neither of them moved.

“You were quite the gentleman last night,” Shepard said, looking Thane in the eye, “I’m not sure I thanked you properly.”

Thane didn’t even bother trying to hide the smile that was creeping on his face. He took a step closer to her without breaking the eye contact. She did smell very nice. And there was a spark in her beautiful eyes.

“Oh?”

“So, if you don’t mind, I’d like to rectify that now.”

“No, I don’t mind.”

Shepard put her arms around his neck and stretched up to kiss him. He hummed his pleasure and his tongue dived into her eager mouth. She pushed him against the wall which brought their bodies even closer to each other. He slid his hand onto her ass and caressed it through the cloth. They both moaned. She rubbed herself against the bulge in his leathers. They were both growing short of breath and making all kinds of eager sounds.

“Shepard, we have arrived on Tuchanka,” EDI said.

“Fuck,” Shepard said.

“I’d love to,” Thane replied, “But it seems that this is not the time.”

“Not even a quickie?” she asked him with a crooked smile.

“I don’t do quickies,” he replied, “If you do something, you’d better do it well.”

Shepard stepped back to catch her breath.

“Are you implying that a quickie can’t be done well?”

“When you’re in a hurry, a candy bar will do,” he said, “But when you are not, you prefer a full meal with many courses and dessert.”

Thane enjoyed immensely the effect his words had on Shepard. She actually shuddered in lust at the image, clearly thinking what all those courses would mean. It was delicious to watch, but did nothing to quieten his raging libido.

“I can’t believe you said something like that when you know that I can’t jump you and screw your brains out,” she said with a hoarse voice, “You are an evil man, Thane Krios.”

“Operative Taylor has been saying that from the beginning,” he pointed out.

“I’m pretty sure this isn’t what he was referring to,” she replied.

“You might be right.”

They stood there for a minute, just smiling at each other.

“Damn, you look so good,” Shepard said.

“As do you, siha,” Thane replied, “Which is why I can’t do away with my current predicament as long as I have you in my sights.”

“Oh, right, sorry,” she said and cast her eyes at his crotch, “I’ll just go then and leave you to…”

“Meditate.”

“That’s a word for wanking I’ve never heard.”

“No, I really meant-“

“Sure you did,” she said and opened the door, “I’ll leave you to it, then. Enjoy your… Meditation.”

\--

Robyn and several members of the ground team stepped onto the ground of Tuchanka. It was brown, barren, and sad. The krogans outside of the compound were not happy to see them but that was nothing new. When were the krogan ever happy to see anyone they couldn’t kill? The guards pointed them to the approximate direction of the clan leader.

“This is Tuchanka?” Grunt asked. He sounded disappointed.

“Not what you imagined?”

“No, Shepard,” he said, “This is a decimated wasteland. This is not the land of our heroes.”

“It’s your heroes who destroyed it in the first place,” Jack pointed out.

“She’s right. Krogans destroyed their own planet. Cannot blame anyone else. It’s the nature of the krogan to take, use, destroy, then repeat somewhere else. Led to genophage. Inevitable,” Mordin said.

“Er, Mordin,” Robyn said as she took in the aggressive looks of the nearby krogans, “I would advise you to remember, where we are. It would not be wise to make our hosts angrier than they naturally are, would it?”

“True,” he agreed, “Must find Maelon, need krogan co-operation. Will remain polite.”

“Thank you.”

When they found the clan leader, he was having words with another krogan. What the rest of the galaxy would call a fight, the krogans considered an argument. Or would, if they used words like that. But it couldn’t be a fight if all the parties left with their lives. As Robyn and her team arrived in front of the throne, she had a wide smile on her face. The clan leader pushed the other krogan out of his way.

“Wrex,” Robyn said.

“Shepard!” Wrex boomed.

They both took a few quick steps forward and headbutted each other. Laughter rang around the space and Wrex clapped Robyn on the back. No one could laugh like a krogan.

“I knew they couldn’t kill you,” he said, “You’re too stubborn to die.”

“I’m stubborn?” Robyn asked, “You’re the one, who has fought his way to the top.”

“Someone has to punch some sense into these idiots,” Wrex replied, “They’re stuck in the past. There’s nothing there. We need to look to the future if we want to have one.”

“No more drinking ryncol from the skulls of your enemies?”

Wrex made a disapproving sound.

“Have you tried drinking ryncol from a skull? It doesn’t make any sense; it drips from the eye sockets and burns through the skull in no time,” he said.

“I… I have no idea what to do with this information,” Robyn said, “I’ve missed you, Wrex.”

“It’s good to see you, too, my friend.”

“Despite all that, this isn’t only a social call,” Robyn said, “We are looking for an abducted salarian and trying to find out, what’s wrong with our resident krogan.”

Wrex looked at Grunt. He took a deep breath, as if to scent the air.

“There’s nothing wrong with him,” he said, “He’s becoming a full adult. I can smell it on him.”

“That is a biological change for you?” Thane asked, “How interesting.”

Wrex turned his gaze at the drell.

“I don’t care what aliens call it,” he said, “Even ones that are screwing my friend.”

“Excuse me?” Thane said.

“I can smell her on you,” Wrex said, waving his hand towards Robyn, “And I can smell lust. On both of you.”

“Oh, intrigue!” Kasumi thrilled from the back and Jack laughed.

“This is off topic,” Robyn said, with her ears burning red, “What can we do for Grunt?”

Wrex gave Thane one more withering stare before going back to his throne.

“He needs to pass the Rite of Passage. That way he can become a full member of clan Urdnot. Or die,” he said, “You should ask the head scout about the salarian.”

“You’d allow a tank-bred into a clan?”

Robyn and her team left Wrex to continue his argument with the annoying krogan, who had been yelling at him when they got there.

“Alright,” Robyn said to the others, “Since Maelon’s life may be in danger, I suggest we go find him first. Zaeed, you’re with me and Mordin. The rest of you, try not to get into trouble. If you feel like that’s too much to ask, go back to the Normandy and hang out in there.”

The others agreed. Thane looked like he wanted to say something, but decided against it. Robyn, Mordin, and Zaeed went to talk to the head scout. He knew enough to point them into the right direction. A grumpy mechanic gave them a vehicle to travel to the location named by the head scout.

There was some resistance on their way to the compound.

“What sort of animal goes boom after it dies?” Robyn asked, wiping the goo off her helmet.

“Krogans call them klixen,” Mordin said, “Pack animals. One dies, might kill attackers by exploding. Rest of the pack may survive.”

“That’s a beautiful sentiment, I guess,” Robyn said, “Too bad those things are designed to inspire nothing but resentment.”

“Goddamn ugly bastards,” Zaeed agreed, “Like the vorcha coming our way.”

“Ugh,” Robyn said, “If you ever meet someone, who feels themselves to be unattractive, you should send them here. The fauna of Tuchanka will make anything else look like a beauty pageant contestant in comparison.”

“You ain’t kidding,” Zaeed said, “Now I don’t feel so bad about some of the broads I’ve brought home after a bottle of gin.”

“That proves that everything has a function in the cosmos, even vorcha,” Robyn said, “They make everyone else feel better about themselves.”

“And they’re good cannon fodder,” Zaeed pointed out.

“Vorcha regeneration is remarkable,” Mordin said, “Wish to replicate it one day.”

“But not today,” Robyn said, “Today we just kill them.”

“Aye,” Zaeed agreed and shot one between the eyes.

The old hospital was not a happy place to be. There were signs of experimentation on both human and krogan. Some experiments had been done on living test subjects. Robyn was enraged, as was Mordin. They had long talks about the ethics of both genophage and the experiments done for science. They were profound discussions, one of which included the information that Mordin had once killed someone with a piece of gardening equipment. He also had some sort of ethical crisis going on, as much as salarians had time for those.

After moving farther into the building, they came across members of clan Weyrloc. Their speaker went on and on how they would cure the genophage and rain revenge upon the galaxy and kill all the other species in inventive ways. It was almost entertaining in all its horribleness, so Robyn let him go on to hear, what terrible thing he’d come up with next. He was about to die anyway. There was no reason to take his last chance to rant away from him. He was dead within minutes from ending his speech, just like his friends.

They found a brainwashed scout from one of the rooms. He sounded like a depressed adolescent, who was convinced that he’d never get laid. Robyn talked him into leaving the hospital and made a mental note to inform the head scout, who had been asking after him.

When they finally found Maelon, it was clear that they’d been mistaken. He hadn’t been kidnapped, he’d come of his own free will. He was feeling guilty for modifying the genophage and he wanted to help krogans. He got into a fight with Mordin and Robyn had to talk the professor from killing his pupil. Maelon ran away. Mordin and Robyn agreed to save the data Maelon had compiled. Just because it had been acquired by monstrous methods, there was no reason not to use it.

“Thank you, Shepard,” Mordin said when they were leaving the hospital.

“Any time, Mordin,” she replied, “I meant it when I said that you’re not a murderer. I do believe that you meant to do what was necessary when you modified the genophage. But I’m hoping that you’ll get the chance to do what is good, not what is necessary.”

“Like curing Kepral’s?”

“Right. And maybe, one day, genophage.”

They were silent for a while.

“So, Zaeed,” Robyn began, “Tell me about these horrible broads you took home after getting drunk.”

Zaeed laughed.

“Dunno where to start…”

\--

The head scout was happy that they had found his scout because it saved him the trouble of having to train a new one. Robyn asked him a little about his work. It didn’t sound like scouting to her, more like what guerrillas did. She also gave the engineer the part he had been asking after. He thanked her and went on to talk big about being “the military might of clan Urdnot”. Robyn would have bet good money that he got a lot of cracks about being the only geek in the clan.

It was getting late but Robyn wanted to be ready for the Rite of Passage bright and early in the morning, so she sought out the shaman and asked him what it was about. It didn’t sound good. Oh, it was all fun and games, but krogan fun and games. Those got people killed.

\--

“Grunt.”

“Shepard.”

“Are you ready for tomorrow?”

Grunt displayed his teeth with a blood-thirsty smile.

“Yes, I am. I was made for this,” he said, “Tomorrow I’ll kill whatever they throw my way, and I’ll show those wining sissies that I am krogan.”

Robyn smiled her motherly smile. Her little baby krogan was growing up.

“Yes, you will,” she said, “I’m so proud of you.”

Grunt’s satisfied expression was one that told Robyn that if he’d been drell or turian, he’d have purred. She went closer to him and headbutted him gently.

“We have an early morning,” she said, “You’d better go to sleep now.”

“Yes, Shepard.”

“Good night, Grunt.”

“Good night.”

Robyn left Grunt’s room and walked towards the elevator, deep in thought.

“You look happy and sad at the same time. How is that possible?”

Robyn looked up to see Thane leaning on the wall next to the elevator. She smiled at him and shrugged.

“One of the mysterious skills of women, I think,” she said.

“Is something wrong?” Thane asked and walked closer to her.

“Probably.”

“Siha…” Thane said and took her hands into his.

“I’m worried about tomorrow,” she admitted, “I have a bad feeling about the Rite of Passage based on what the shaman told me about it. Krogans don’t mess around. If you have to do something to become an adult krogan, it has to be brutal. It can kill us – Grunt, me, and whoever we take with us.”

“You face mortal danger every day, siha,” he pointed out.

“Not like this, I fear,” she said, “And Grunt is my baby krogan. I worry for him, despite how ridiculous it may sound.”

“Then take me with you, siha. I’ll look after you and your baby krogan,” he said and kissed her forehead.

“You’re sweet to offer, Thane, but then I’d have to worry for you, too.”

“Wouldn’t you worry for whoever you brought?”

“Yes, but with you, I’d worry more.”

“And you don’t think I’d worry, if you left me behind?” Thane asked.

“Point taken,” Robyn said, “Fine. If you want to come with us, you can.”

“Thank you,” he said, “Do I get a kiss goodnight?”

“You do, but only one. We both need a good night’s sleep.”

Thane purred and bent down to kiss her. It was debatable whether or not what followed could be counted as only one kiss. They did eventually manage to detach from each other and get to their respective beds, where they proceeded to have vivid dreams of what would have happened if they didn’t have an early morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we have another reason why early mornings suck.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback! :) More shenanigans on Tuchanka to come.


	14. Worth It

”I’d say ’that wasn’t so bad’, but I have a feeling that this will get worse quickly,” Robyn said.

“It should,” Grunt grunted, “A whining volus could kill varren.”

“Volus are capable of great things,” Thane said, “A volus vanguard is a force of nature. An experienced one can take out groups of enemies all by himself.”

“That’s a battle I’d want to see,” Robyn said and laughed, “Think about it: a ball, swishing through the air, hitting the enemies like it was a bowling match. Then off he spins, only to fly at them again… The fearsome ball. And if there are multiple, they’d be the flying balls! The flying balls of death!”

“Stop talking about balls and hit the keystone, Shepard!” Grunt yelled.

“Fine, fine,” she said, “But I’ll keep chuckling at the volus bowling image, while doing it.”

Robyn pressed the button. The voice in the speakers explained some more about the nature of krogans before the next enemies appeared.

“Oh, goody, klixen,” Robyn said, “Steer clear of those, they go boom when they die.”

“Sounds very unsatisfying,” Thane said, “Everyone should boom before they die.”

“Did you actually say that or was it just my imagination?” Robyn asked.

“Sounds like your imagination to me,” Thane replied. Robyn couldn’t see it but she’d bet anything that he was smirking.

“Why are you letting me win? Are you planning something?” Grunt asked, “Getting easy kills isn’t as much fun as beating you to them.”

“I thought you wanted to up your kill count,” Roby said, “There are quite a few people ahead of you on the list now. You need all the kills you can get.”

“Yes, but it’s no fun if you’re not serious, Shepard…” Grunt said, sounding like an annoyed child.

“You don’t need us for killing klixen, Grunt, you’re such a big, bad krogan,” Robyn said in a palliative tone.

“Yes, Shepard. I am pure krogan. These ugly, little creatures stand no chance against me!”

Grunt attacked the remaining klixen with renewed vigor and the plateau boomed with his laugh and the sounds of the exploding klixen. Robyn looked at his eagerness with a wide smile. She could sense without looking when Thane walked to her and stopped to stand by her side and watch at the rampaging krogan.

“You seem proud of your baby krogan,” he said.

“I am. He’s my little killing machine,” she replied.

“And yet, you are not relaxed.”

“Time and experience has taught me that relaxing while the mission is still going on will get you killed,” she said.

“Look, Shepard, they’re dead!” Grunt yelled.

“They most certainly are,” Robyn replied, “Well done, Grunt. Are you ready for the next round?”

“I’m ready for anything! They better have something good.”

Robyn hit the keystone. The voice said something but she didn’t pay it any attention after the ground started shaking. She knew that shaking. She knew, what was coming. She knew that she had been right to be concerned.

“Listen up! Thane, you go somewhere far away and find a good cover, you hear me? Not these flimsy ones, but a real rock to hide behind. And you snipe, do not get any closer. Grunt, you take your assault rifle and sprint from cover to cover. Any time you see it take a shot, you are already behind something sturdy, am I understood? No close contact!”

There was no backtalk because the head of the thresher maw appeared. Both men took the directions she had given and followed them. Fucking Tuchanka and fucking krogans! She’d kick the asses of everyone in that camp if her… If Thane and Grunt got hurt. Thresher maws had already taken too much from her, there was no way she’d let this one take any more. She took out her rocket launcher, yelled, and ran.

\--

“Shepard!” Thane shouted when he saw her leave the cover.

What was she doing? Why would she run towards the giant creature after telling them to… No!

Thane felt a coldness settle in his stomach. He shot and shot and shot at the thresher maw with more urgency than he ever remembered feeling on the battlefield. It was true that Shepard’s aggressive attack kept the monster’s attention focused on her which left the other two to shoot it in peace, but this meant that she had to bear the brunt of the attack. He could almost hear the sound of her shield wheezing after the thresher maw’s acid hit her but she paid it no heed. She kept running and shouting and shooting.

Time slowed down. The creature kept going, the ground was shaking, everyone was yelling. One horrible moment, Grunt was out of cover when the thresher maw was about to spit right at him. Shepard saw it and used her biotics to jump into the way, saving her krogan, but taking the hit. She went down with a thud and a grunt.

“Shepard!” Thane yelled and leapt from his sniping place to help her.

“Thane, you get your gorgeous ass back behind that rock! This is an order,” Shepard said into the com. Her voice was strained from the pain, but she was getting up.

Grunt tried grabbing the rocket launcher, but Shepard held on to it.

“You get to cover. Now,” she said and ran at the thresher maw again.

Worry turned into fury in Thane’s mind and he put everything he had into defeating the monster. He used his biotics and shot, again and again. He also watched Shepard’s sprints and rolls. She took too many hits while she aimed the rockets at the creature’s open mouth. When it went under the ground, she was already running towards the next spot. And she always got it right.

After an eternity, or so it seemed, Shepard took a stance. She positioned herself right in front of the thresher maw. It opened its mouth to spit at her yet again. Both Shepard and the creature aimed and shot. Both hit their targets. Both went down. Only silence remained.

“Siha!” Thane discarded his sniper rifle and ran. He got to Shepard at the same time as Grunt. He feared the worst until he saw her breathe. Her face was twisted in pain but at least she was alive.

“There was medigel back there, go get it, please,” he said to Grunt.

“Watch out for the acid,” Shepard said, when Thane was about to touch her, “I’d hate to see your sexy outfit ruined by thresher maw spit. It would be such a loss if you started wearing proper armor after losing your leathers.”

Thane sighed. She was cracking jokes. She’d be alright if she only got that medigel.

“As soon as you’re feeling better, I am going to yell at you,” he said.

“How’s that supposed to motivate me to get better?”

“Because, after I’m done yelling at you, I will take you to a bed, any bed, and have my way with you, siha,” he whispered into her ear.

She swallowed and her face reddened.

“That’s what I call motivational speaking.”

“Here’s the medigel,” Grunt said and crotched down to apply it. His face was reflecting worry over Shepard which Thane considered touching.

“I can’t believe you got the kill for that,” Grunt said, trying to cover his emotional state, “Still, we showed that oversized worm, who’s the boss. We killed a thresher maw! On foot!”

“Impressive. Maybe the tank-bred has a quad,” a new voice added.

It was Uvenk and his troupe. Shepard shot up like she was expecting trouble, paying no heed to the complaints her body had to be making. Her instinct had been correct – it came to shots in no time. Thane had to fight from shorter distance because he’d left his sniper rifle behind. Most of the attackers focused their attention on Grunt because they seemed to consider him the biggest threat. Thane managed to kill a couple of the krogans, who had been pestering him, which resulted in a shift in their attentions. Suddenly, they were coming for Thane, and fast. His speed served him well but one of them caught him in the chest while he was dodging another attack. The blow was hard and it blew all the air from his lungs. He ended up on the ground, breathless, with a giant krogan charging at him. 

This is the end, Thane thought. Then there was the sound of a shotgun right next to his ear canal and the krogan went down. Shepard reloaded her gun and stepped in front of him to protect him until he got a good breath.

“You okay?” she asked without taking her eyes off the remaining krogans.

Thane took a little breath. Then a bigger one. It hurt, but he could handle that.

“Thank you, siha,” he said.

“That’s not a reply.”

“I will be fine,” he said.

“You’d better,” she said, “I was knocked down by a thresher maw. That’s fucking badass. Being taken down by a mere krogan is embarrassing compared to that.”

“You can’t blame the rest of us for not living up to your standards, oh great Commander Shepard,” Thane said and winced at the pain, “By the way, you might want to take down that incoming ‘mere krogan’ before you get knocked down again.”

“Damn,” she said and shot at the hulking creature.

Thane squeezed his hand around the handle of his SMG and got up. He focused and pushed the pain away from his mind. Then he shot at the nearest krogan and helped the others to finish the fight. Shepard kept a close eye on him.

As soon as the last krogan fell, Shepard was by Thane’s side.

“Are you good to walk to the vehicle?”

“I have to get my rifle,” he said, “I left it back where I was shooting during the thresher maw attack.”

“Grunt,” Shepard said, “You’re still full of energy, right?”

“You bet, Shepard,” he replied, “Killing those idiots was invigorating.”

“Could you run and get Thane’s rifle? We puny, squishy aliens are not up to the task.”

“Weaklings!” Grunt said and ran.

Shepard took carefully hold of Thane and helped him towards the truck.

“I’m sorry, Shepard,” he said.

“About what? Protecting Grunt? Don’t you ever be sorry for that,” she said, “In fact, I should thank you.”

She leaned towards him and placed a warm kiss on his lips.

“Now we’ll get you to the Normandy,” she said, “Doctor Chakwas is going to fix you. After that, I’m going fuck you good and hard.”

“That’s supposed to be my line,” Thane replied and gave her another kiss.

\--

Their reception at the krogan camp was as warm as a krogan welcome can be. Everyone had heard about the thresher maw and Uvenk. There was so much respect in the air that you could almost taste it. Robyn left Grunt with the well-wishers and took Thane to the Normandy. She got him into the med bay and explained what had happened. Karen called Mordin to help her.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Karen asked when Robyn was about to leave.

“Tuchanka?” Robyn offered, “I want to talk to Wrex before we leave…”

“You’re not going anywhere until I look at your injuries,” Karen said, “I know you took on a thresher maw.”

“I’m fine, Karen,” Robyn said, “Look at me, I’m walking and everything. It’s Thane you need to help.”

“Don’t make me stun you,” Karen said, “Because I will.”

“Fine, fine,” Robyn gave in, “But I do think that this is completely unnecessary.”

“Noted,” Karen said and pulled a curtain between the two beds to create some privacy, “Now, get undressed and lie down so that I can take a look at the damage.”

Robyn sighed and did as the doctor had told her. When her skin was revealed, Karen took a sudden breath.

“Shepard!”

She had sounded so shocked that Thane drew the curtain away to look at what had caused such a reaction. He looked horrified when he saw the burns and bruises.

“On the bed! Now!” Karen said decidedly and Robyn considered it wisest to obey.

Mordin came into the room and looked at Shepard.

“Thresher maw,” he said, “Tough enemy, sorry to have missed the fight, have never seen a live one up close.”

“Count yourself lucky,” Robyn replied, “Can you help Thane, please? He took a bad hit to the chest.”

Mordin walked to Thane’s side and looked at him. He activated his omnitool and took some readings.

“Not good for your lungs,” he said, “Will help, will make better.”

Before starting his workup, Mordin closed the curtain between the beds.

“Patient needs to concentrate on healing, not staring at Shepard’s body,” he explained.

“I assure you, I wasn’t-“ Thane began.

“Lying to be polite. Understandable, but unnecessary. Interest in Shepard natural. She’s an attractive woman, considered appealing by many species,” Mordin said in his matter-of-fact voice, “Even a musical has been made in her honor. A particular song comes to mind.”

And then he burst into song. About Robyn. The others simply stared at him with their mouths hanging open. The song went on and on about the mighty deeds and admirable virtues of Commander Shepard. After some time, Karen shrugged and got back to healing Robyn’s injuries.

Finally, the doctors left them with the promise of doom if the patients didn’t stay put and sleep for at least a couple of hours to let the healing agents do their work.

Thane opened the curtain again, turned to his side, and looked at Shepard.

“I intended to get you to bed, but this isn’t exactly what I planned,” he said.

Robyn smiled at him.

“Is that an invitation to your bed?” she asked.

“It could be construed as such, yes,” he said, “Would you like to join me, Commander Shepard?”

“Yes, I would, Sere Krios,” Robyn replied.

She got up and walked to Thane’s bed. He scooted over to make room for her. The bed was so small that the only way that they both could fit in was to spoon each other. Robyn moved into the bed carefully. When she was settled, Thane embraced her. She felt warm and safe.

“This was worth getting almost killed by a thresher maw,” she said and made a pleased sound.

“I didn’t like that part,” Thane murmured into her ear, “I’d prefer it if you just skipped that and came straight to my bed.”

“I will from now on.”

“You’d better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still have some stuff planned for Tuchanka, but it will have to wait. These chapters seem to have a mind of their own.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback! :)


	15. A Party on Tuchanka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I caught a cold and have been trying to battle it for some days with Netflix.

”Shepard! Shepaaaaaaaard! Shepard!”

Robyn groaned. She had been having such a nice nap, why had it been cut short?

“Sounds like someone wants me,” she said and opened her eyes.

“I want you, siha,” Thane said with a low voice, “It’s no wonder that others do, too.”

His breath warmed the back of her neck and made a shot of electricity run throughout her body. She shuddered.

“As much as I’d like to see, where this goes,” Robyn said, “I’d bet good money that someone will burst through that door in three, two, one…”

The door opened and a very excited Grunt ran towards them.

“Shepard! I got laid! I got laid, Shepard!”

He shot his fists in the air, growled out the joy of his victory, headbutted air, and did all the other things young males tend to do in situations such as this. Robyn got up and grinned at the display.

“Congrats, Grunt, that’s great! I knew ladies couldn’t resist such a badass krogan as you,” she said.

“Heee, heee, heee,” Grunt laughed, “Killing the thresher maw lit those females on fire.”

“What? There were more than….” Robyn began but thought better of it, “You know what, I don’t want to know. Regardless – I’m proud of you, tough guy.”

“It’s all thanks to you, Battlemaster,” Grunt said sincerely and headbutted her.

“Are we going to celebrate tonight?” Robyn asked.

“You bet your ass we are,” Grunt replied, “But I want to tell others before that. Garrus!”

Grunt left the medbay to search for others upon whom to bestow his happy news.

“My baby krogan is growing up,” Robyn said wistfully.

“So it seems,” Thane said and came to stand next to her, “I gather there is to be a party?”

“As krogans understand it, yes,” Robyn said, “The krogan idea of a party probably means sitting around a fire drinking ryncol and fighting. There is guaranteed to be stories and Grunt will recount the fight with the thresher maw.”

“It is quite the story,” Thane said, “Commander Shepard running at the terrible beast with a rocket launcher, trying to protect her team. Commander Shepard getting herself almost killed in a brave attempt to take the heat off her friends. Commander Shepard endangering her life to save others.”

Robyn looked at him.

“Have I upset you?” she asked.

Thane extended his hand to caress her cheek softly.

“You did what comes naturally to you. You can’t help what you are, siha.”

“Will you finally tell me what that means?”

“A siha is one of the warrior-angels of the goddess Arashu. Fierce in wrath. A tenacious protector,” he said.

“That’s… That’s the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said about me,” Robyn said, “Thank you, Thane, though I don’t feel like I deserve being compared to a celestial being.”

“Why not? You crossed the sea once but you came back to protect us all,” he said, “You came back to me. And I’m grateful.”

Robyn simply stared at him. This had to be a dream, right? Men like this didn’t exist. In a moment she was going to wake up on the original Normandy where she had to endure Kaidan walking after her like a love-sick puppy. She didn’t dare to ask Thane if he was real or not so she did the only thing she could think of to be sure. She kissed him. He didn’t vanish and she didn’t wake up.

The sound of the door interrupted the kiss and they turned to look at Mordin.

“Shepard, Thane, glad I caught you both. Wanted to talk. Medical matters,” the professor said.

“Is it about the cure for Kepral’s?” Robyn asked, “Has there been any progress?”

“Nothing to report about that research yet,” Mordin replied, “Another matter: Aware that mission is dangerous. Different species react differently to stress. Sexual activity normal as stress release.”

Robyn felt the blush rise. Please, let this not be happening, she begged in her mind.

“Still recommend caution,” Mordin went on, “Drell/human liaisons complex. Prolonged human to drell skin contact can cause small rash, itching. Oral contact may cause mild hallucinations.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” Robyn said, “Since we are having this conversation – can there be any ill effects on Thane from contact with me?”

“Too much exertion bad for lungs. Recommend moderation,” Mordin replied, “Would advise against putting pressure on his chest. Forwarding booklets to your quarters. Valuable diagrams, positions comfortable for both species, erogenous zone overviews.”

“Er… Thank you?” Robyn said.

“I don’t like the idea of hurting her,” Thane said, “Is there anything that could help?”

“Can supply oils or ointments to reduce discomfort. Will need to visit a medical center to get them,” Mordin replied, ”Gave EDI electronic relationship aid demonstration vids to use as necessary.”

“Of course you did,” Robyn said, “Please tell me that you didn’t tell Joker about any of this?”

“Shocking suggestion! Doctor-patient confidentiality a sacred trust. Would never dream of breaking it.”

“Sorry.”

“Enjoy yourselves while possible,” Mordin said, “Will be in the lab, studying cell reproduction. Much simpler. Less alcohol and mood music required.”

“Speaking of which, you should join the party tonight,” Robyn said, “I’m sure you’d enjoy hanging out with drunk krogans.”

“Will keep it in mind,” Mordin said and left.

“Well… That was…”

“Surreal?” Thane offered.

“I was going to say ‘strangely predictable’, but yes,” Robyn said, “My life is very weird, isn’t it?”

\--

The party was already in full swing by the time the crew of the Normandy got there. There was a large bonfire and crates scattered around it as seats. Ryncol was handed out in canisters to anyone and everyone who wanted it. Loud conversations were going on all around the space.

“Lots of krogans getting drunk around a lone turian,” Garrus said, “This should be fun.”

“Don’t worry, they won’t kill you because you were part of the team that took down Saren,” Robyn said, “They might hit you, though, but in a completely friendly manner.”

“That’s reassuring. Thanks, Shepard,” Garrus said dryly.

“I’ll cover your back,” Kasumi said, “Or watch your ass, to be more precise.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Jack agreed, “Count me in.”

“You can’t handle my ass,” Garrus said, trying to sound confident. 

“Sure I can,” Kasumi said.

Kasumi vanished from view for a second before reappearing behind Garrus and grabbing his ass with both hands. Garrus jumped up and the others laughed.

“See? Easy,” the thief said with glee.

“Shepard, help me!”

“Ladies, leave the poor guy alone,” Robyn said, “Go find some nice krogan lads to grab.”

“Not a bad idea,” Jack said.

“Shepard!”

Robyn turned towards the voice and noticed that Wrex was waving his hand.

“You should go and have fun,” she said to her group, “Try not to get into too much trouble.”

The others dispersed but Robyn, Thane, and Garrus went to see Wrex.

“Welcome! Grab some booze and take a seat for you’re in for a real party!”

Robyn took a swig from the canister Wrex had handed to her. She had to cough right after.

“What the fuck did I just drink, Wrex? Eezo?”

“Real booze, Shepard,” Wrex said with a twinkle in his eye, “Pass it on. I’m sure your alien wouldn’t mind a taste.”

Robyn gave him a level stare.

“His name is Thane and he is the best damn assassin in the galaxy. He deserves your respect.”

Wrex looked at her and nodded.

“He has your respect. That’s enough for me. Taking down a thresher maw is a nice bonus,” he said, “How are you, Garrus?”

“It’s good to see you, Wrex.”

“Did you hear about his extra-curricular activities?” Robyn asked.

“His what?”

“The Archangel here went to Omega and pissed off every major crime organization on the station,” Robyn said and grinned.

“Archangel, huh?” Wrex said and looked at Garrus, “I’ve heard of him. Didn’t know it was you.”

“He was so effective that the criminals ganged up on him.”

Wrex laughed.

“They must have hated you,” he said, “It takes a lot to get those bastards to work together. Almost as much as getting krogans to do it.”

“That’s me – the badass turian with the gift of pissing people off,” Garrus said.

“That’s what happened to your face?”

“A rocket happened to his face.”

Wrex laughed again.

“Can’t say there haven’t been times when I wouldn’t have minded shooting a rocket at you myself,” he said and hit Garrus’ back with his hand, “But I didn’t want to anger Shepard.”

“She is a fearsome woman,” Thane said.

“That she is,” Wrex agreed, “No wonder so many breeding requests were made for her after you killed the thresher maw.”

“What?” Robyn asked, “Why would they request the breed with me? I can’t give them a child.”

“It’s not really the child part, they just want to fuck you,” Wrex said.

Thane made a low hum Robyn couldn’t decipher but both Wrex and Garrus turned simultaneously to look at him.

“What’s going on?” Robyn asked.

“He has a problem with those requests,” Wrex said and Garrus nodded. They seemed amused.

“Uh-huh, that must be why he is tearing up the place,” Robyn said and looked at the calm drell next to her.

“If he were krogan, he would be,” Wrex said, “It’s in the voice and the smell. You can’t sense it but we can. He’s feeling jealous and territorial.”

Robyn looked again at Thane who was doing nothing but sitting quietly on his crate.

“I’m getting the feeling that you are trying to pull on prank on me,” Robyn said, “Starting from those breeding requests. A human would have to be crazy to… Oh, no.”

Robyn got up and hurried to the direction where the others had gone. Someone took hold of her hand and made her stop. She turned to look at Thane. He had fire in his eyes. He pushed her against a nearby column and kissed her fiercely.

“I am feeling jealous and territorial,” he said in between kisses, “Now they’ll smell me on you and know that you are spoken for.”

After Thane let Robyn go and went back to Wrex and Garrus, Robyn spent a moment smiling like an idiot. Then she remembered that she’d had a purpose before Thane had pulled her aside. She only hoped that she wasn’t too late.

“You look like an aggressive female,” a male voice said somewhere in the crowd.

“You look like a male who can handle an aggressive female,” Jack’s voice replied.

“Bring it on, babe.”

“You call me that one more time and I’ll slug you.”

“What should I say to make that slug into fuck?”

Jack laughed. Robyn headed towards the source of the sound.

“I like your style,” Jack said, “I’ve always wanted to try a krogan.”

Robyn found Jack just as she was leaving with the krogan Robyn recognized as the engineer.

“Jack, a word?” Robyn asked.

“Can’t it wait, Shepard? I’m about to get laid,” Jack replied and the krogan grinned the happy grin of a guy who knows he’s about to get some.

“Please?”

Jack rolled her eyes but walked to Robyn.

“Have you considered this?” Robyn asked, “He’s… Well, you know.”

“Big?” Jack asked and grinned saucily, “Yeah, I know. I can handle it, Shep. Biotics heel fast. And I have medigel and lube.”

“I never thought I’d say this, but I’m too innocent to hear such things,” Robyn said, “Fine. It seems that you have thought this through in your ryncol-muddled head. I’ll see you later and tell you that I told you so. Go do your thing.”

“You’ve been single for too long, Shep, and it shows,” Jack said, “I don’t do my thing, I do his thing and vice versa.”

“Go!”

Jack let out a dirty laugh and followed her krogan to wherever it was that they were going to have their rendezvous. Robyn looked after them with Kasumi who had appeared from the crowd.

“She’s going to be fine,” Kasumi said, “Asari hook up with krogans all the time. Why should that be any different?”

“You may have a point,” Robyn admitted, “And Jack has done crazier stuff.”

“If you want to get that from your mind, you should join us,” Kasumi said, “You should have seen us, making friends left and right.”

“Really? How?”

“Well, Joker got into a very interesting porn debate with several krogans…”

Robyn stopped.

“What, pray tell, is a ‘porn debate’?” she asked.

“A debate about porn.”

“Thank goodness.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and feedback! :)
> 
> Sorry about my insufficient English :( I'll try to better myself once I have the time, I promise.


	16. How to Make An Assassin Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains spoilers for Lair of the Shadow Broker DLC.

”Say what you want about Illium but Nos Astra is a cultural marvel. We could learn from the asari,” Miranda said.

“I’ve always thought that you can learn something from everyone,” Robyn said, “Even if that something is what not to do.”

“That is a beautiful thought, Shepard,” Samara said, “Life-long learning is necessary for all intelligent creatures. It is a requirement of survival. If you cannot cope with change, it will devour you.”

“You’re right,” Robyn replied, “It’s sad how many people refuse to see things that way. They don’t see change as a possibility, but as a monster. I wonder why that is.”

“People are scared of the unknown, the unexpected,” Miranda said, “I get that. I like to plan ahead.”

“I don’t even like to play chess,” Robyn said, “It hurts my tiny brain to try to calculate several turns ahead. I prefer to wing it and hope for the best.”

“That’s one strategy, Commander,” Samara said.

“It has worked for me so far,” Robyn replied.

Miranda and Samara started discussing Nos Astra. Robyn sighed mentally. This was going to be a very long and low-key sort of day. The two biotic ladies were not known for their sense of humor. Not that Robyn needed to crack jokes all the time, but she felt like she had to censure herself constantly not to say something that was too out there. To top it off, she felt unbelievably overdressed next to the two women in bodysuits.

Robyn led the little group to Liara’s office. The reason for their visit was a piece of information Cerberus had received about the Shadow Broker. Liara was excited to receive it. She told them about her hunt for Robyn’s body and all the complicated turns it had taken. The end result was that Robyn had been brought back to life because of Liara and a drell called Feron. Feron had been captured by the Shadow Broker and Liara wanted to rescue the poor guy. She was certain that she’d be able to figure out the Broker’s location with the information she now had. She asked the ladies to come see her later at her apartment.

“That works for us,” Robyn said, “We have a quick errand to run before that. We’ll meet you after we’re finished.”

“When did you ever run a quick errand?” Liara asked with a serene smile.

“This might be the day I grow as a person and finally succeed in running a quick errand,” the grinning Robyn replied.

“It is possible, Shepard,” Liara said, “Say hello to the mercenaries for me, will you?”

“I’m devastated by your lack of faith in me, Doctor T’Soni.”

“Whatever you say, Commander. I will see you after your fight.”

\--

“Damn that Liara,” Robyn cursed.

“Do not be mad at her, Commander,” Samara said, “She knows you well.”

“I’m really hoping that it isn’t my fault that we’re in a firefight yet again,” Robyn said and shot the last merc that was standing between them and the door.

“It’s my damned father you should blame,” Miranda said, “Hiring mercenaries… What were they thinking?”

“Big, bad Miranda is coming – we need firepower?” Robyn suggested, “You should take it as a compliment, Miranda. They are scared of you. Grunt would understand.”

“Grunt thought head butting the wall was a good idea,” Miranda replied sourly.

“To him it was,” Robyn said, “You should get to know him better. You two have a lot in common.”

“Pardon me?”

“Think about it,” Robyn continued, “You were both made by a deluded scientist looking to create a genetically perfect individual as his legacy. You are both into your own species and all the great it has done and could do again. You take pleasure in fighting. You are fierce about your own goals and don’t let anything stand in your way.”

“She makes a convincing case,” Samara said.

Miranda didn’t have time to process the whole thing before they were attacked again. Eclipse had brought at lot of people, including combat engineers and vanguards. Robyn got zapped by the stupid drones more than once before she decided that she’d had enough. She charged at the offending engineer with her full might, shoved her shotgun at his face, and pulled the trigger.

“I fucking hate combat engineers,” she said and looked around, “Are there any more here? Come on, don’t be shy, nerds. If you’re an engineer, just raise your hand and I’ll be right there to end your misery.”

“You’re only saying that because you were bad at math,” a voice said.

“I didn’t have to study math, I had a calculator. And a life,” Robyn replied, looking for the source of the sound.

“That’s just hurtful,” the voice replied and a drone appeared.

Robyn pinpointed the location of the engineer and threw a shockwave at him.

“Aww, this is the day the nerds fly,” she said with a leer and followed his trajectory with her gaze. There was no need for a follow-up, the guy was dead. 

By the time they reached the elevator, it had become clear that Miranda’s friend Niket had changed allegiances. When they met with him and the leader of the mercs, Niket and Miranda got into a fight about which was worse, being poor or being manipulated and brainwashed. Robyn had trouble seeing why there was a point to such a discussion – the right answer should have been obvious. 

It would have been much more fruitful to continue from Enyala’s jab about Miranda’s clothing. She’d said, “I was just waiting for you to finish getting dressed. Or does Cerberus really let you whore around in that outfit?” There had been moments during the fight when Robyn had been forced to use the same cover as Miranda which had meant that her leotard-covered nether regions had been way too close to Robyn’s face. Maybe a guy wouldn’t have minded, but Robyn had been thinking how mad Miranda would get if she received an anonymous gift of underwear. Or a skirt to wear over the bodysuit. Or maybe an asari style dress?

Robyn returned from her ponderings in time to stop Miranda from killing Niket. Much good it did since Enyala shot the guy almost instantly. They had to fight her and her posse to get to Oriana and her family. The family was blissfully unaware of what had been done to keep them safe. Robyn had to talk Miranda into meeting her sister, but it went well in the end.

“Thank you, Shepard,” Miranda said after she had said goodbye to Oriana, “You came through for me. I’ll always remember that you helped me keep my sister safe.”

“Anytime, Miranda.”

Robyn let Miranda and Samara go and called for new team members to come with her to Liara’s place. She would have gone by herself but experience had taught her yet again that anything could happen to her.

\--

Thane was having a late-night snack in the mess when Mordin found him.

“Thane. Glad to find you. Was able to acquire the medicines necessary for you and Shepard to have sex with minimal pain,” he said and handed Thane a little box.

Thane was thankful that the mess was empty due to the lateness of the hour.

“Thank you, professor,” he said and placed the box on the chair next to him, “Care to join me?”

“No, late. Must sleep now. Good night,” Mordin said and left.

Thane resumed eating but his thoughts were firmly engaged with the box sitting right next to him. He had never before been attracted to a member of a different species, let alone slept with one. He had appreciated the beauty of asari and the suppleness of humans but that was different from finding them desirable. He hadn’t really thought about any of it since meeting Irikah. After she’d gone to the sea, his waking mind had gone with her. He had gone into battle sleep. He would have been satisfied to join Irikah… Until he met Shepard. She was the kind of person who’d shake a trance-preacher to bring them into the real world.

Thane smiled. Shepard had awakened him from his self-absorbed journey to death and made him rejoin reality. The reality was like it had always been – there was death, destruction, and chaos with the burdensome presence of the Collectors. But Thane’s personal reality was brighter than when he’d last visited it. Kolyat was all grown up and talking to him. Granted, they had a long way to go, but talking was a start. And then there was Shepard, his siha…

Thane got up, did the dishes, collected the box, and returned to his room to store it for the future.

“EDI, is there any word from the ground team?” Thane asked.

“I believe they are in pursuit of a rogue Spectre,” EDI replied, “Would you like me to forward the mission feed to you?”

“That would be welcome. Thank you, EDI,” he said.

Thane thought that it would be better to listen in than to worry about nothing- -

“Truck, truck!!!” Liara T’Soni’s horrified voiced filled the room.

“I see it, I see it!” Shepard replied.

“Are we dead?” Garrus asked.

“Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt,” Shepard replied, “Open your eyes, you big wuss. We dodged the truck.”

“Truck, truck!”

“Chill, Liara, I see the fucking truck,” Shepard said, “You sound like a tourist tour guide. ‘My dear guests, we just passed a truck that was moving sideways. On the left hand side, we have a big building full of people who hate their jobs. On the right hand side, you can see a crazy Spectre flying through a traffic jam and dropping charges to blow us up. I believe our driver is up to the task, don’t you?’”

“Why did you let her drive, Liara?” Garrus asked, “Tell me you haven’t forgotten how bad she was with the mako?”

“What are you implying?” Shepard asked, “I didn’t crash the mako once.”

“No, you didn’t crash it, you turned it upside down,” Garrus said dryly.

“On top of the geth I was trying to kill,” Shepard pointed out, “That takes skill, I tell you.”

Thane continued to listen to the feed in horrified fascination. He couldn’t decide whether Shepard was lucky or unlucky. Yes, she crashed, but she survived. Yes, lots of people attacked her, but she killed them. Including the asari Spectre they had been chasing. Thane deduced from the feed that the information they’d found had been useful in locating the Shadow Broker’s base.

“We can be there in a few hours,” Liara said.

Thane closed the feed and asked EDI to tell him when the shore party arrived. It wasn’t long before the AI informed him that they were in the ship. Thane got up and went to meet Shepard. She was in the CIC giving some directions. She looked more tired than he was comfortable with. When she turned to leave she noticed him and smiled.

“Walk with me?” she asked.

Thane nodded and got into the elevator with her. As soon as the door closed, she leaned into him and he put his arms around her.

“This has been a long day,” she said.

“You need sleep, siha,” he said, “You can’t go against the Shadow Broker on his turf unless you rest.”

“Do I look tired to you?” she mumbled into his chest.

“Of course not. I always thought that people look the most awake when their eyes are closed.”

“Are you making fun of me?”

“No, I’m taking care of you,” he said and kissed the top of her head, “Promise me that you’ll spend the flight time in sleep.”

“I am pretty tired,” she admitted, “Will you sleep with me?”

“As in sleep?” Thane asked when the door opened to the captain’s cabin.

“As in sleep,” she said, “It was so nice napping in your arms on Tuchanka.”

Thane smiled at her.

“It definitely was,” he said, “I’ll sleep with you, siha, if only to make sure that you get the rest you need. Go get ready.”

Shepard made her way to the bathroom to perform her evening routine. Thane took off most of his clothes and got between the sheets. When he heard Shepard return, he looked up. It occurred to him that it may not have been the smartest of ideas to promise to sleep with her. She looked too good in her top and pajama bottoms. He remarked that they had dancing krogans on them. That little detail provided him something else to focus on besides how desirable she looked.

“You look good in my bed,” she said.

“You look good in your krogan pajamas,” he replied.

“I’d be horrified that you saw them but I’m frankly too tired to care,” she replied and got into the bed.

Thane made room for her. They moved a little until they found a position that was comfortable for them both.

“Thane?”

“What is it, siha?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being you.”

Thane would have asked what she meant but she’d already fallen asleep. Thane kissed her ear, pulled her closer, and closed his eyes. He fell asleep smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly hate combat engineers. They're not so bad in ME2, but ME3? It's always right to kill the engineer first (or die trying). If you don't, you'll regret it later. Plus, if you hit their backpack, they go boom :P (Yes, I'm a child, I know.)
> 
> Don't be alarmed, I'm not planning on getting Miranda and Grunt together, I just realized their similarities. Or maybe... No. Or maybe... No? No. Definitely not. No.
> 
> The more often I have Miranda with me (which is not often), the more I grow wearied by her uniform. I mean, BioWare, really? Couldn't they have allowed her underwear? A decent pair of pants? I know it's fan service, but, damn, if they were gonna do bodysuits, they could have gone full Kill la Kill, have all the people from the ground team walking around in clothes like that.... Thane and Jacob and Garrus... In clothes like that....  
> ....  
> ....  
> ....  
> ....Er.... What was I talking about? Never mind, I think I need a cold shower.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback! :)


	17. Hurt And Happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! GoT season 4 DVD box + work = not writing.
> 
> This chapter contains spoilers for Lair of The Shadow Broker DLC.

Thane was woken up by someone hitting him in the gut. He sprung up, ready to defend himself, only to find a surprising lack of people trying to kill him. What he did find was a panicking Shepard. She was sitting up, huddled, clearly having trouble breathing.

“Shepard,” he said silently and touched her back gently.

Thane shifted slowly closer to her. He didn’t know how aware she was and didn’t want to scare her. He caressed her back and mumbled soothing words to her until she got her breathing under control. The horrified expression left her features and was replaced by tiredness.

“I’m sorry I woke you,” she said, “Did I… Did I hurt you?”

“Are you alright, siha?”

“You dodged the question, so I must have hurt you. I’m so sorry, Thane,” she said, got up, and started pacing around the room, “I should have realized that my issues would catch up with me one day and I’d end up hurting the people I care about. That seems to happen to me. All the time. Way too often. My family, my squad, my team… And now you. If you were smart, you’d run right now, before you get more hurt.”

Thane could see that she was trying to close herself into a shell. He understood that she’d had to face too many losses and that all of it was sometimes too much to bear alone. But he cared for her too much to let her handle it all alone.

“Siha,” he said and got up.

Thane caught up with Shepard and made her stop by taking hold of her shoulders.

“Look at me.”

She lifted her gaze and he marveled at the beautiful, grey eyes that were growing moist.

“I’m going nowhere, siha, and neither are you,” he said, “You didn’t hurt me, but you will if you deny us both what we desperately want. I know you’re scared. It’s frightening to care about people when you know how it feels to lose them.”

“I don’t mind getting hurt, but I don’t want to hurt others,” she replied, “I hate to see how my death has affected my friends.”

“Are you trying to tell me that you blame yourself for dying, siha?” Thane asked.

“Well, when you put it like that…” 

Thane was happy to see that a smile was tugging at the corner of her mouth. She looked more like herself when she smiled. He pulled her closer and kissed her. She opened her lips eagerly and made way for his tongue. Her hands found his ass and grabbed it. She moaned when their bodies rubbed against each other.

“Did Mordin get those oils he talked about?” Shepard asked, a little out of breath.

“Yes. They are in my room.”

“Excellent,” she replied, “Maybe we should relocate.”

“As my lady wishes,” he said.

They started advancing towards the elevator, though the progress was slow. They were much more interested in kissing than walking.

“On second thought,” she said, “Those oils don’t sound that necessary. So, there is a little itching? No big deal. We can just find a position that doesn’t require much- -“

“Shepard,” EDI said.

They stopped what they were doing. Shepard leaned her head against Thane’s shoulder.

“This cannot be happening,” she said, “What is it, EDI? This should better be something big, because otherwise there will be repercussions for interrupting our sexy times.”

“We are about to reach the Shadow Broker’s ship,” EDI replied.

“Of course we are,” Shepard said and let go of Thane, “Now I have one more reason to hate that guy. He couldn’t have parked his ship a little further away? Just a tiny bit?”

“Would you have been satisfied in the time that would have taken to get a tiny bit further?” Thane asked her.

She gave him a look that set him on fire.

“All you need to do is touch me and I’m all but ready to come,” she replied.

Thane swallowed. He understood all too well.

\--

Robyn stepped back into the bedroom after she’d had a very cold shower, gotten dressed, and brushed her teeth. Thane was fully dressed and was waiting for her, sitting at the corner of her desk. She already knew what was coming.

“Let me come with you, siha,” he said.

“Sorry, honey, but you were on the team when we almost got killed on Tuchanka. Now it’s someone else’s turn to escape death,” she said and squeezed his hand, “Besides, we are going to need someone who’s tech savvy. You have many admirable attributes, but you are not the king of nerds.”

“You are pacifying me,” Thane observed, “That is unnecessary, siha. I understand.”

“I know that, but it makes me feel better.”

He smiled at her. Oh, man, that guy could smile in a way that made Robyn’s knees go weak and her panties soak.

“Are you alright, Shepard?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye, “You look… Unsettled.”

“You are doing this on purpose, aren’t you, you sneak? I don’t have time to take another cold shower!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said and purred. He actually purred!

“If you don’t stop that right now, I’ll turn you on and leave you here with such a case of blue balls you never thought was possible,” Robyn threatened.

“Blue balls?”

“A state of arousal and sexual frustration,” she replied, “Or, to put it another way – high and dry. Or hard and unsatisfied. Or in serious need of meditation. Or- -“

“I get it, Shepard,” he said and raised his hands in surrender, “Go and be careful out there. May Amonkira, Lord of Hunters, watch over you, my siha.”

Robyn gave him a quick kiss before heading towards the elevator. When she found herself whistling during the elevator ride, she realized something strange: she was happy.

\--

“You seem surprisingly cheerful to be fighting mechs on the hull of a ship,” Kasumi remarked, “What’s going on, Shepard?”

“Can’t a girl just like busting robots?” Robyn asked and continued humming the melody that had been stuck in her head since the elevator.

“You are humming, Shepard,” Liara pointed out, “That is not like you.”

“There might be something wrong with my life when my friends think it weird that I seem happy,” Robyn said, “I can dial up the sarcasm if that makes you feel better.”

“Did you and Thane finally do the deed?” Kasumi asked.

“Are you seeing Thane Krios?” Liara asked, “Why didn’t you tell me? He’s very dashing.”

“Do you honestly want to talk about this now or do you want to storm the ship of the scariest boogieman of the galaxy? Priorities, ladies.”

“Why can’t we do both?” Kasumi asked.

“I agree,” Liara said, “Multitasking is not that difficult, Shepard.”

“Fine, what do you want to know?” Robyn gave in.

“Yay!” Kasumi enthused.

“Shepard, you might want to remember that we’re here, too,” Joker’s voice said from the earpiece, “So if you go into dirty details, know that I’ll remember them.”

“Thanks, Joker,” Robyn said, “I’ll tell you guys nothing.”

“It was Thane’s idea,” Joker replied, “I would have been happy to listen in.”

“Thane’s there?” Kasumi said, “Thane, can you tell us something?”

“What is it?” Thane’s voice inquired.

“Why is Shepard smiling?”

“She’s a mysterious woman,” he replied.

“Right,” Kasumi said, “That wasn’t helpful.”

“He has a very nice voice,” Liara said.

“That he does,” Robyn replied, “And you can savor the memory of that voice while you kill some more of the Broker’s goons. Incoming!”

As they advanced, Robyn had to agree with Liara – the Broker’s force was badly coordinated. If the whole posse had attacked at once, Robyn’s team would have been in serious trouble. But they did not, which enabled the ladies to get into the ship and fight their way onwards.

“Flashbang!” Kasumi said, “Don’t look directly at it.”

Robyn couldn’t help it – she let out a giggle.

“Dirty!” she said, “Who would name a grenade that? It sounds like a flashmob porno. ‘Don’t look directly at it’ is good advice for both instances.”

“Shepard!” Liara said with a disapproving tone.

“Sorry, Liara, I didn’t get enough sleep. You know how I get when I’m tired.”

“This is probably not the right time to mention that I have acquired some flashbangs,” Kasumi said, “I think that they’re going to be useful. They keep the enemies confused.”

“I’ll say,” Robyn replied.

The light banter was cut short when they found Feron. The poor drell was fastened to a chair that kept electrocuting him. He had been there for too long. It would have pained Robyn to see anyone like that, let alone a drell who reminded her of Thane. It was clear that they couldn’t help him before they took down the Shadow Broker, so Robyn decided against interrogating the poor man. Robyn clenched her fists and thrust her chin forward. It was time to make the Shadow Broker pay.

“She looks pissed,” Kasumi said, “I’d hate to be the Broker now.”

Liara smiled a dark smile.

“He is going to get what he deserves.”

\--

The giant crash startled the people who had gathered into the cockpit to listen to the mission feed. Thane felt the urge to call for Shepard, but he knew that it would be pointless. They would find out soon enough what had happened.

“Kasumi is out of it,” Shepard’s voice said, “We’ll have to take him down ourselves.”

“I have been looking forward to this for a very long time,” Liara said.

The room was filled with the sounds of fighting. It was frustrating to listen to when you couldn’t be sure of what was happening. The yahg kept growling. Thane had never met one but he knew what they looked like. It was probable that the two women had a difficult fight ahead of them.

“Damn it!” Shepard cursed, “What is with that shield?”

“It blocks projectiles and energy,” Liara replied, “My biotics have no effect.”

“Fuck this shit, I’m gonna go and beat him to death with it,” Shepard said.

There was a sound that indicated that Shepard had charged the yahg. There was no more gunfire, just the clangs or armor hitting armor and accompanying grunts.

“Is she beating the Broker up with her bare hands?” Joker asked, “Badass!”

“She must be really pissed,” Garrus said, “The Broker is toast.”

The others seemed less anxious than Thane. Maybe they didn’t know that yahgs were akin to what you would get if you crossbred an elcor and a krogan. That was not a creature you wanted to come up against armed with nothing but your fists.

“The shield is down,” Shepard yelled, “Bring it, Liara!”

Shots were heard again.

“Shepard, watch out!”

The impact was loud. The cockpit fell silent. They didn’t dare take a breath before the room was filled with Shepard’s loud cussing.

“Son of a bitch! Did I get run over by a train?”

“Someone should alert doctor Chakwas,” Thane said.

“Already done,” Joker replied, “It’s standard procedure when Shepard leaves the ship. The strangest stuff happens to her.”

“At least it isn’t related to the Protheans this time,” Garrus said.

“Don’t be so sure,” Joker replied, “Who knows what the Broker’s lair has. It’s the freaking Shadow Broker! He could have a beacon for all we know.”

“Good point,” Garrus conceded.

“The shield is up,” Liara yelled, “Go, Shepard!”

Armor hit armor again.

“I almost miss the Collectors,” Shepard muttered, “They are so dainty that they go down from a single punch and they don’t wear armor. But you cannot kick them in the balls, which is kind of a downer. Hey, Liara, you know about yahgs. Do they have balls?”

“See for yourself, Shepard,” she replied.

“Alright then.”

There was a mighty clank. The Broker roared.

“Yes!” Shepard enthused, “He does have balls! Awesome! Now I have a target.”

“Get away from him now or your ‘target’ will be in your face,” Liara advised.

“Right you are,” Shepard replied, “Yahg’s are not the balls I want near my face.”

Thane chuckled before he realized that absolutely everyone was looking at him. There were some snorts of laughter. He was suddenly extremely happy that he did not blush like humans.

“Shepard! I have a plan,” Liara said, “Try to make him bring that shield up one more time.”

“Okay, that shouldn’t be too hard,” Shepard replied and started yelling, “Yo, Broker! I have a fucking big shotgun aimed right at your privates. You ought to pull up that shield right now if you want to preserve your masculine pride!”

Joker was sniggering.

“Shepard has a way with words,” he said.

“She is the tank,” Thane replied.

“I don’t know much about women, but I know you shouldn’t say that to her face,” Joker replied.

“I meant that her strategic role is to be the tank of the party,” Thane explained, “The tank is supposed to rile the enemies up in order to make them focus on them. That leaves the other team members time to take them down.”

“That sounds fun,” Joker replied.

“It also means taking a lot of damage,” Garrus said.

“Not so fun anymore,” Joker admitted.

There was a huge crashing sound to accentuate his statement. Someone moaned in pain and took their last breath. Thane listened and wished.

“Shepard? Are you alright?”

“Yes, Liara, I’m fine,” she replied, to the relief of everyone present, “Jump to it and help Feron, please. He’s suffered more than enough.”

\--

Robyn watched as Liara freed the captured drell. And took over as the Shadow Broker. Never would she have guessed that the gentle academic she’d met years ago would one day be the most powerful information broker of the galaxy. Life was funny. And scary.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Robyn asked.

“Yes,” Liara replied, “I know it will not be easy, but you need me right here.”

“You’ve done enough, Liara. You’re entitled to your own life. This isn’t something you have to do.”

“Isn’t the same true for you, Shepard?” A new voice asked.

Robyn turned her gaze at Feron. He looked surprisingly good for someone who had been tortured for two years. He seemed hardened, that was true, but he had a glint in his eye, which was good. It meant that he was still a person despite all that had happened to him.

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you running around the galaxy? You saved it once already. Isn’t it someone else’s turn now?” Feron asked.

“How do you know about that?”

The drell chuckled darkly.

“I’ve spent two years on the Shadow Broker’s ship. I heard a great many things,” he replied.

“I see,” Robyn said, “To answer your question: Someone has to do something or the galaxy will be wiped out. I’m the only one who can do something because practically no one else believes that the threat is real.”

“The Broker knew it was real,” Feron said, “He was hatching a plan to survive.”

“I’m not surprised.”

“The point is that the intel is out there,” Feron continued, “Others could be convinced. Why do you have to be the one to do the dirty work?”

“If you feel like going out there and trying to convince people that the Reapers are coming, I won’t stand in your way,” Robyn answered, “But colonies of people are disappearing. I don’t have the time to go yell at stupid people to make them believe something they don’t want to believe because it scares them.”

“I’d rather not, if it’s all the same to you,” Feron replied.

“What are you going to do?” Robyn asked.

“I’m going to take a bath,” he said, “I haven’t taken one in such a long time. Would you like to join me, commander?”

“Thanks, I’m good.”

“I bet you are,” Feron replied with a saucy grin, “I would have enjoyed a wet, nude woman in my bath after all I’ve been through. Sadly I’ll have to make do with the bath. You’re welcome to join me if you change your mind. I’ll see you later, ladies.”

Feron nodded at them and left.

“Dude has been tortured for two years and as soon as he’s up he’s hitting on anything that moves. I have to say I’m kind of impressed,” Robyn said to Liara, “Is he always like that?”

“Yes.”

\--

In the cockpit, Thane was not smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and feedback! :)


	18. Always Get A Second Opinion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader beware - the rating of this story has degenerated into mature. The reason will become apparent if you continue reading.
> 
> Sorry for the wait!

By the time Robyn reached the Normandy, all the adrenalin from the fight had died down. She was so tired that keeping her eyes open was a chore. She ran into Garrus on her way to the CIC.

“Are you okay, Shepard?” Garrus asked, “You don’t look so good.”

“You sure know how to talk to a lady, big guy,” she replied.

“Are you trying to pass off as a lady, Shepard?”

“I’d love to have a quick, witty comeback to that, but I’m so tired that I’ve got nothing.”

Garrus looked concerned.

“Have you been to see Chakwas yet?” he asked.

“Just so you know, not having a comeback to everything is not a medical condition,” Robyn pointed out, “Besides, I’m fine, I only need some sleep.”

“We heard you got trodden on by a yahg,” Garrus said, “You need to see a doctor.”

“I don’t like seeing doctors. They always tell me the craziest things.”

“Such as?”

“’Be more careful, stay away from Prothean beacons, try not to get yourself killed, take it easy…’ You know, shit like that,” Robyn replied.

“Ah-huh.”

Garrus then proceeded to take a firm hold of Robyn. He turned her around and started marching her towards the med bay.

“This is bordering on insubordination, Vakarian.”

“No, this is friendship, Shepard. Deal with it.”

Robyn couldn’t hold off her smile. She allowed herself to be walked to the med bay. Karen gave her the ‘I’m not angry, I’m disappointed’ face which always made her feel guilty. After the treatment was finished, she was prescribed “at least eight hours of bedrest on pain of death”. On a plea, she was allowed to spend the time in her own bed, not in the med bay. When she stepped out of the med bay, she found Thane waiting for her.

“You look tired, siha,” he said gently and gave her a light kiss.

“That was very politically put,” she replied, “I saw my reflection. I look like the walking dead, which is fitting when you come to think about it.”

Thane got into the elevator and pulled Robyn in with him. When the door closed, he took her into his arms and she rested her head against him.

“You drive yourself too hard,” he said, “You need sleep like the rest of us.”

“That sounds so dirty,” Robyn said and giggled.

Thane chuckled.

“You really are tired,” he said.

The elevator door opened and they stepped into the captain’s cabin.

“Are you going to sleep with me?” Robyn asked.

“Not tonight, siha,” he replied, “You need to sleep and I will make sure that you do.”

“How do you intend to do that?”

“I have my methods. The first part is not seducing you.”

“That doesn’t sound like fun,” Robyn stated.

“I believe the saying goes: ‘tough love’?”

“Oh, all the things I could say about that…”

“Think them over while you perform your evening routine,” Thane said firmly.

Robyn grinned and went to do as he had bidden. She returned to find Thane sitting on the corner of her bed. It was so tempting to just jump on him and seduce him into staying there. She was still contemplating this when Thane looked right at her.

“Don’t even think about it, Shepard,” he said.

“What? I didn’t say anything,” Robyn replied, walked to the bed, and got into it.

Thane didn’t reply, he simply gave her a look.

“What is the second part of your plan to get me to sleep?” Robyn asked.

Thane answered by turning the lights off and walking towards the door.

“Don’t I get a kiss goodnight?”

“Not until you have slept the required eight hours.”

Robyn rolled her eyes at him and shot out of bed. She rushed at him and threw her arms around him. The surprise on his face was quickly wiped away by the passionate kiss she initiated. She knew he was completely in the moment when he made that hot purring sound and grabbed her ass. She smiled into the kiss.

“You need to up your game Krios,” she whispered into his ear canal, “Your plan isn’t Shepard-proof.”

“I keep underestimating you,” Thane said while he kissed her neck, “Too bad.”

“Yes, you sound all broken up about it,” Robyn said and her hand wandered down, “It seems to be very hard for you.”

Thane let go of her and stepped away. He took a breath to gather himself. It looked like he needed meditation. Desperately. Robyn grinned.

“All of this, while marvelous, is not helping you get the rest you need, siha,” he said, “I will leave you now so that you can sleep. I’ll see you later. Sleep tight.”

“You too, Thane. And thank you.”

Thane only nodded and left. Robyn went to bed. She was asleep as soon as she closed her eyes.

\--

“Morning, Joker,” Robyn said and sat down next to the pilot.

“To you, maybe,” Joker replied, “The rest of us have been up for ages.”

“The rest of you weren’t out in the middle of the night, getting run over by a yahg.”

“Stuff like that doesn’t happen to the rest of us, Shepard,” Joker said, “Just you. Maybe you’re some sort of a jinx.”

“Come on, Joker, you’re exaggerating,” Robyn said and started counting with her fingers, “Liara got herself locked into some sort of an ancient burglar trap. Tali was almost kidnapped. Garrus got a rocket to the head. Grunt was made in a tank. Kelly is so happy that she must function on nitrous oxide. Need I go on? And before you say anything, most of this was before they met me. I can’t be to blame.”

“The world’s a messed up place.”

“You can say that again.”

They sat silent for a while and stared at the stars.

“So… You were in the Shadow Broker’s lair.”

“Yes,” Robyn replied, “I’m already dreading where this is heading.”

“He must have had lots of interesting files.”

“I’m sure he did.”

“Would some of those files entail mature content?”

“I’m sure they do. And no, I don’t think Liara will be happy to forward them to you. You have enough porn as it is,” Robyn said.

“But that’s different,” Joker said, “The Broker’s files must have celebrity porn! That’s much better.”

“Even so,” Robyn said before getting sidetracked, “Wait, how is that better?”

“You kidding me?” Joker asked, “All those hot celebs making whoopee with each other in real life? Who wouldn’t want to see that?”

“I can’t believe you said ‘making whoopee’,” Robyn said, “But it would be real. You know that real life isn’t like porn, right?”

“Whenever I find you two here, I come in on the strangest conversations,” Garrus said and paused to stand behind Joker’s chair.

“Oh, good, you’re here. You can explain to him how Fornax uses image manipulation,” Robyn said.

“How do you know that?” Garrus asked suspiciously.

“I… Er… I read about it?” Robyn offered, trying hard not to blush. It didn’t help that Joker was chuckling.

“Anyway…” Garrus said, letting the moment go dig itself a nice hole and die in it, “Where are we going to risk our lives next?”

“It’s almost time for Donovan Hock’s party, so we need to go to Bekenstein,” Robyn answered, “Kasumi wants to break into Hock’s vault.”

“A heist? Awesome,” Joker said.

“Are you sure about this, Shepard?” Garrus asked, “It seems shoddy.”

“I know that robberies aren’t exactly our forte, but Kasumi is our friend and she needs this,” Robyn said and shrugged, “And Hock’s a scumbag which means that we don’t have to feel guilty for stealing from him. He’s got it coming.”

“Who are you taking this time?” Garrus asked.

“It’s just Kasumi and me,” Robyn replied, “It’ll be easier to blend in. Not to mention that most of you would stick out like a sore thumb in a party like Hock’s. He’s a racist idiot, like Cerberus.”

“You could take Miranda.”

“It would definitely keep the focus off me when everyone stared at her and whatever bodysuit she decided to wear,” Robyn admitted, “Still, I think I’ll stick with the original plan. Actually, I’ll go see Kasumi now and ask her more about the op. How long till Bekenstein, Joker?”

“About half a day, but the party starts tomorrow night,” Joker replied.

“Okay, thanks. I’ll see you guys later,” Robyn said and went to look for the thief.

\--

“Kasumi, this is terrible! I can’t wear this! What were you thinking?”

“Chill, Shepard. I don’t see what the problem is. You look hot!” Kasumi assured Robyn.

“But it looks like plastic. And it’s way too tight for my body type,” Robyn said with a reasonable tone, “This would work for you and our adepts but tight dresses are just not me. I don’t feel comfortable in them and it would show. If you make me wear this, I’ll trip with my screw-me-heels and everyone will be able to see up my joke of a dress.”

“You’d better wear nice panties then,” Kasumi said mercilessly, “Why is this such a big deal, Shepard? You look great. If you won’t take my word for it, we should go seek a second opinion. Preferably a male one. We could ask Thane.”

“I don’t trust him to be impartial,” Robyn said, “I’d trust Garrus to tell me the truth. He wouldn’t let me go out to embarrass myself.”

“Fine, let’s go,” Kasumi said and jumped up, “Garrus will tell you that I’m right.”

“We shall see,” Robyn replied, “EDI, is Garrus in the main battery?”

“Yes, Shepard,” EDI answered.

“Thank you,” Robyn said.

Robyn opened the door and peered into the hallway to see if there was anyone there.

“What are you doing, Shepard?” Kasumi asked.

“I’m checking to see that the coast is clear. I don’t want anyone else to see me.”

“Now you do look ridiculous, Shepard, but it’s not because of the dress.”

“You’re right,” Robyn admitted, “Let’s go and be quick about it.”

To Robyn’s relief, the mess was empty. The women hastened into the main battery and asked to be let in. The door opened to reveal not one, but two males – Thane was visiting Garrus for some reason or other. As soon as Thane saw Robyn, he froze like a statue to stare at her. The ridges on his cheeks got redder and seemed a bit swollen. Garrus took a step away from him.

“Gentlemen,” Kasumi said smoothly, “Would you care to settle something for us? Shepard says that this dress looks stupid on her, but I say that she looks hot. What do you think?”

Garrus was looking extremely uncomfortable. Robyn wandered what the problem was. Neither of the men replied anything.

“Don’t worry, guys,” Robyn said, “You can say if you think it looks dumb, I won’t take it as a slander.”

“It doesn’t look… Stupid,” Garrus said, looking awkward.

“But it’s skintight plastic! I mean – look at this!” Robyn said and swirled around slowly.

Thane made a strange sound.

“Thane, are you okay? You look distressed,” Robyn noted, concerned, “Is it the dress? Is it that bad? Or is something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, siha,” Thane replied with a strangled voice, “I… Have some thoughts about your dress I’d like to share with you in private. Would you accompany me?”

“Okay…”

Thane left the main battery and Robyn followed him closely after nodding goodbye to Garrus and Kasumi, who was grinning like crazy. Thane went to his room and opened the door. As soon as the door closed behind them, Thane pushed Robyn against the wall and kissed her. He was hard and demanding. Robyn answered his eagerness with hers. The feeling of his erection pressing against her through their sheer clothing was driving her mad with lust. Hands explored everywhere and grabbed what they wanted. This had been a long time coming.

In between kissed, Robyn tried to find a way to unfasten the front of Thane’s leggings. He noticed what she was doing and helped her free his throbbing erection. He groaned when she wrapped her hand around his length. Not that she got a very good look in all the haste, but his cock felt enough like a human’s that sex would work. Robyn grinned into the kiss.

Thane took hold of the hem of Robyn’s dress and hitched it up. When her panties were revealed, he ripped them away. They had been a nice pair but Robyn didn’t care. She could buy more underwear. He slipped his hands under her ass and lifted her up. When she was properly wedged between him and the wall, he maneuvered a little and entered her, causing them both to cry out. He kissed her and started pounding. It was hard and fast, speaking clearly of the need that had been accumulating. Both were being loud, winding the other up, spurring each other forward. Breaths were growing shallow, hearts were beating thunderously, slick sounds of skin thudding against scales were echoing in the room.

Just when she was nearing the edge, he bit her neck in way that was certain to leave a mark.

“Come for me, siha,” he moaned into her ear, “Come for me.”

He sped up even more. She met him trust for thrust until she came with his name on her lips. A deep sound erupted from his chest. He pushed once more and spilled into her. She could feel his hot seed filling her up and enjoyed the unbelievably erotic feeling. After a few more shallow thrusts they stopped, breathing deeply.

Thane closed his eyes and Robyn kissed the top of his head.

“I take it that you like the dress,” she ventured.

Thane began laughing.

“What gave you that idea?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still have very little experience writing smut, so please excuse my shortcomings in that area. If you are looking for delicious drell smut, you should read StealthSister's fic Crimson Dreams.
> 
> Thank you for reading and feedback! I hope you are enjoying fine weather - I love the spring sun. :)


	19. Plans And People

Thane set Shepard down carefully.

“This isn’t how I’d planned things to go,” he said, “Did I hurt you?”

Thane was ashamed of himself. He should have had more restraint. Taking Shepard like an animal, with no preparation, no care, no sweetness… How could he have allowed himself to slip like that? Yes, he had wanted her for a long time. Yes, that dress made her look sexier than he could ever have imagined. But still.

“Thane,” Shepard said.

He looked at her.

“Why do you sound like you’re apologizing? Because you’d better not. That was amazing!” she said and grinned at him.

“I wasn’t too rough?”

“No, I liked it. It made me feel like you’re as crazy about me as I am about you.”

Thane smiled and kissed her passionately.

“You can bet on it, Shepard,” he purred.

“Would you care to tell me more about this plan you mentioned?”

He looked at her slyly.

“You know those oils Mordin gave me?”

“Oh, yes.”

“I was going to strip you bare slowly,” Thane said with a deep voice, enjoying the effect his words had on Shepard, “I’d planned on worshiping your body with my hands and lips, satisfying you in the process. After I’d considered you’d come often enough, I’d take those oils and rub them on your soft, delicate skin,” he said while caressing said skin with his hand, making her breath hitch, “When I had lathered the oil everywhere it was necessary, I intended to cover your body with mine, getting oily myself. We could both have enjoyed the sounds of oily bodies moving against each other. The best of all would have been when I finally entered you, sheathed myself into you completely. We would have made love slowly and I would have paid attention to every detail and erogenous zone Mordin’s diagram portrayed. We’d have reached the peak together and laid in bed entwined.”

Thane was delighting in Shepard’s flushed appearance. It was obvious that she liked the sound of his plan.

“That, er… That sounds… Uh…”

“Worth putting into action?”

“Definitely,” she said and gulped loudly, “My goodness, your voice is sinful! And to hear you say all those things…”

Thane wondered whether or not he should feel guilty for turning the great Commander Shepard into an inarticulate woman, who was clearly befuddled by desire, but decided not to. He felt a tad smug for having had such an effect on her.

“How much time do we have?” Thane asked.

“Before the party? About a day. Why?”

Thane walked to the desk and took out the oils Mordin had given him. He showed them to Shepard.

“Would you like to test the viability of my plan?”

\--

Robyn squealed in her head, but kept the sound from making its way out of her mouth. She was acting enough like a horny teenager as it was, she didn’t need to crack it up a notch.

“I’d like that,” she managed to reply, only a bit hoarsely, “Might I suggest that we move into my cabin? Your plan sounds like it should take place in a comfortable bed. Or on a bearskin rug in front of a hearth, but we don’t have any of those.”

“My cot is narrow for the both of us,” Thane admitted, “Before we leave the room I recommend that you adjust your delicious dress a bit.”

Robyn looked down. The dress was intact, but it had traveled and rumpled. The tops of her nipples were showing, as well as her downstairs business.

“Oh,” she said, “I probably shouldn’t go traipsing around the Normandy looking like this, should I?”

“No,” Thane stated, “The only one who should see you looking like that is me.”

“True,” Robyn replied while fixing her dress.

“Siha, do you mean that?”

Robyn stopped tugging at the hem of the dress and turned to look at Thane. He was suddenly very serious.

“About you being the only one to see me naked? Of course,” Robyn said matter-of-factly.

Robyn was nonplussed when Thane rushed at her and crushed her into a hungry, possessive kiss. Not that she minded. He hugged her and murmured into her ear something she didn’t catch.

“Sorry?”

Thane didn’t repeat his words, he just smiled. He looked happy, which was enough for Robyn. She grinned back at him.

“What?” Thane asked.

“I like seeing you happy,” she replied.

“Then it works out well, because I like making you happy.”

Robyn stepped back and finished fixing her dress.

“How do I look? Is it instantly obvious to everyone that I was fucked good and hard a moment ago?”

Thane simply grinned. And looked proud, that smug bastard.

“That is not a no, Thane,” Robyn said, “I don’t care what people think but I try to be professional when I’m on the ship.”

“You’re good, Shepard,” he replied, “As long as you steer clear of Mordin and Garrus, no one will know, unless they are very perceptive.”

“Thank you.”

“Also, try not to trip. You’re not wearing any underwear, which pleases me to no end.”

Robyn blushed. She didn’t need to be reminded of that fact. She’d never been a commando sort of a girl. Not even when she’d had a steady boyfriend and that had been a while back. She didn’t like the idea of having to get to her cabin without panties. But she didn’t have a choice. She thought about the hot sex they were going to have. That was a worthy cause if there ever was one. If she was willing to die for the galaxy, she’d sure as hell be ready to walk a few dozen steps without panties to have sex with a steaming hot drell. Priorities, Robyn, she told herself.

“I’m ready, let’s go,” she said and opened the door.

Robyn rushed towards the elevator and almost ran into Garrus. He looked more than amused.

“Oh, hello,” he said with a cocky grin.

“Shut up,” Robyn said and glared at him.

“You look like you’ve learned to like your new dress after all,” Garrus continued, “I wish you hadn’t ventured out. I owe Kasumi some credits.”

“You were betting on… No, I don’t want to know,” Robyn said.

“There’s not much to do around here,” Garrus said and made a turian shrug.

“We should really go get Tali that you two could engage in testing your reach and flexibility and not pay so much attention to what I’m doing,” Robyn said.

“I’m sorry?” Thane said.

“You should ask Garrus about that,” Robyn said, “You’d learn new euphemisms for sex. And interesting trivia about turian war preparations.”

“I’ll do that one day,” Thane said.

“Whatever,” Garrus said when the elevator arrived, “You two go do… What it is that you are clearly going to do. I’ll go calibrate the gun.”

“That’s one of those euphemisms I was talking about,” Robyn said when she and Thane stepped into the elevator.

“For the last time, Shepard, that’s not what it means!”

“If you say so.”

“You have a dirty mind,” Garrus said as the doors closed in front of him.

“He’s right, Commander, you do have a dirty mind,” Joker’s voice said from the PA.

“Look who’s talking, oh King of Porn,” Robyn said sourly, “I see you’ve been eavesdropping.”

“I prefer ‘The Mighty And Well-endowed King of Porn’, but I’ll let that one slide,” Joker replied, “And I actually had some information for you.”

“Uh-huh,” Robyn said, unconvinced, “Let’s hear it.”

“I was scanning ‘whatever random pieces of space crap we happen to run into’, as per your instructions, when I found something interesting,” Joker said.

“Define ‘interesting’.”

The elevator arrived at the captain’s cabin and Robyn and Thane stepped out.

“Like a merc base interesting,” Joker said.

“Joker, my friend,” Robyn said, “We have come to the point in our adventure where mercs are no longer interesting, but merely mundane.”

“You’re not coming to check it out?”

I’ll check it out and I’ll come, but those two things refer to something else than what Joker meant, Robyn thought.

“Do a proper search of the place and give the gun calibrator a call. He can put a team together and go deal with the mundane mercs. I’m off duty,” Robyn replied and opened the door to her cabin.

“What if something goes wrong?” Joker asked.

“According to you, things going awry is my influence. If I’m not there, they should do splendidly with minimum amount of crazy Prothean shit,” Robyn said, “I have complete confidence in Garrus.”

“Understood, Commander. Joker out.”

“Out of…”

“Har, har,” Joker replied and the PA fell silent.

Robyn scoffed at the air and turned to Thane.

“I think it’s time to continue with your plan, don’t you?”

“Are you sure about this?” Thane asked, “You usually lead every mission yourself.”

“Garrus needs the confidence,” Robyn said, “He’s an excellent leader and a great soldier, but he lacks faith in himself. He’s spent all this time hiding in my shadow, feeling smaller than the legendary Shepard who’s larger than life. He made something of himself on Omega, but then his team got killed. It set him back. I want him to see for himself that he has so much more potential than he gives himself credit for. Even if this mission turns out to be difficult, which I doubt, he’ll handle it.”

“You love him.”

“Of course I do,” Robyn said, “He’s my brother.”

“Is it typical in your culture to refer to friends as siblings?” Thane asked.

“It depends,” Robyn said, walked to the bed, and sat down, “As you know, I lost my family. There’s no one left, just me. It hurt for a long time. It still hurts. But I have met people who have come to mean a lot to me. They have become my new family. They are the ones I care for and who care for me. They are the ones who know the person behind the exaggerated legend. Normandy, the whole crew, seems like one crazy family meeting to me, filled with loony uncles and aunts, quarreling children, funny cousins, and all that. They make my life real. I don’t know if that makes any sense to you.”

Thane sat beside her, took her hand, and squeezed it.

“They keep you from falling into battle sleep,” he said, “Loved ones are important.”

“It’s not just that,” Robyn said, “You know what it feels like to be alone, right?”

“Yes.”

“If you have no one to connect to, it feels like you’re floating. Like the world could be an illusion in your mind,” she pondered, “But when you have people, who see you and react to you and care for you, you feel…”

“Grounded.”

“Yes. Real. Like a person, not a ghost of one.”

Thane lifted his hand to Robyn’s chin and turned her face carefully to make her look at him.

“You are real to me, siha,” he said.

“As you are to me,” she replied and kissed him.

The kiss went on for a while. It started sweet but got rapidly more intense. Thane’s wandering hands opened the zipper of Robyn’s dress while hers worked on the fastenings of his leathers.

“Pace yourself, siha,” Thane said and pulled away, “You may remember that I had a plan. I intend to see it through.”

And he did. To every last detail.


	20. Communication

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I've been playing Guild Wars 2. It's very entertaining :)
> 
> This chapter contains spoilers for Kasumi - Stolen Memory DLC. 
> 
> And mature content. And a fig leaf.

Thane absolutely loved the sound his siha made when she woke up with her nipple between his lips. It was a rare cocktail of a gasp, a moan, and a groan. He smiled into her skin and lowered his hand towards her pleasure center to rub that little nubbin to be found there. When he did that, she made more delicious sounds that made Thane purr in return. He admired the expression on her face – the desire, the pleasure, the pure want... He had caused all that in this strong, independent woman. He was the one who got to see it, to bask in it. She was intoxicating and he was in a great danger of getting addicted to her. But he didn't care.

"Thane, please!" Shepard moaned.

Thane looked around for the oil. Where had he left it before they fell asleep? She was displeased with the stalling and maneuvered her body more under him.

"Forget the oil and fuck me," she told him.

"But..." 

Thane was cut off by her hand grabbing his cock. The hand wrapped around it, pumped, and guided it to her entrance. Thane closed his eyes and took a breath.

"I don't care," she said near his ear, "If they see the rash, they'll know that I was properly taken care of. Doesn't the thought kind of turn you on?"

As a reply, Thane thrust his hips, going deep inside her. There was no denying that he liked the idea that others would see that Shepard was spoken for. It wasn't something to be proud for, but he was growing possessive of her. It was typical of committed drell.

Thane knew that they didn't have much time before the party, so he didn't hold back. Because of the incident with her dress, he knew that she liked it when he was rough. He quickened his pace and she egged him on. She called out his name and her muscles began contracting, which did it for him.

They caught their breaths and smiled at each other.

"I never thought I'd say this, but I liked waking up," she said.

Thane settled onto his side and pulled her against his body.

"I'm glad to hear it," he replied, "I'll make it my mission to get you to like waking up. You'll never know how you will be woken up."

"Which part of me will be inside of you or yours inside of me you mean?"

Thane nibbled on her ear.

"Maybe."

"I'll lose sleep waiting eagerly for such promises," she said.

"No, you won't," he whispered into her ear, "Because I will fuck you into sleep."

Shepard shivered in his arms, and it was not because of the temperature.

"And just like that, I'm ready to go again," she said, "I'll need to take a cold shower before I leave. I don't want to go into Hock's party high-strung as a spring."

"You won't have to," Thane said and moved downwards on the bed.

"Really, Thane, you don't have to, it will pass in a--"

Shepard lost her train of thought when Thane's tongue lapped at her clit. She didn't have much to say after that. Nothing coherent, anyway.

\--

I will not laugh, Robyn told herself, I will not laugh.

She looked as one of Hock's guys moved their horrible joke of a statue inside. Hock retreated and Robyn turned to Kasumi.

"You could have warned me about the accent," she told her, "I had to bite my tongue not to burst into laughter. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Why does he talk like that?"

Kasumi shrugged.

"Maybe he loves Braveheart?"

"How can anyone take him seriously when he talks like that? I wonder if it sounds strange through a translator as well."

"Shepard, focus," Kasumi instructed her, "I can't be seen which means that you'll need to handle the partying by yourself."

Robyn groaned.

"That's not really my forte, but I guess it can't be helped. I'll try not to embarrass myself too much."

"Way to set your goals, Shepard. Let's do this," Kasumi said and vanished.

Robyn sighed. She hoped she could vanish too. But she could not, so she put on her most convincing arms' dealer face, thrust her chest out, and walked into the space to mingle with the stupid, greedy, and criminal. Oh, joy...

\--

Getting into Hock's vault wasn't easy or pleasant. Robyn had to listen to Hock eulogize criminals. If that wasn't disgusting enough, she and Kasumi had to sneak into the guy's bedroom and look for his DNA.

"This might be the most disgusting thing I've ever had to do," Robyn said, scrunching her nose when they went through Hock's stuff.

"Lighten up, Shepard. His cleaning service is top notch. There shouldn't be anything too gross."

"Besides Hock himself, you mean?"

"And he isn't here," Kasumi said and shot a teasing look at Robyn, "You know, I bet you wouldn't have needed to sneak in here. He seemed ready to invite you."

"I'd rather not think about that," Robyn said and shivered.

Robyn hadn't grown any fonder of being the honey trap since what had happened with Morinth. She preferred to face her enemies head on, not make them want her to give them head. There were people who wouldn't mind working that angle, but she wasn't one of them. And she was fairly certain that Thane would not be happy if she did a mission like that. He hadn't been happy that she was doing this mission. Robyn had to keep herself from touching the marks he had left on her skin only a little while earlier. He had been vigorous...

"Shepard, are you okay?"

"Yes, sorry, I was trying to shield myself from the image you created into my head about Hock," Robyn said, "I'm back. Do we have enough DNA?"

"Plenty. Let's go break into that vault."

\--

Robyn whistled. She wasn't sure if vault was the right word for a spacious room with a few artifacts. Most of them were krogan statues.

"I have a feeling that Hock has a taste for big, burly men," Robyn said.

"Maybe he just likes these statues," Kasumi said, "I know I do."

“I prefer the David. Can we bring it with us? I could keep it in my cabin,” Robyn said.

“If you can stuff it in your pocket, sure,” Kasumi promised magnanimously, “Are you sure Thane wouldn’t object?”

“To one of the most famous statues of human history?”

“To a naked man in your cabin?”

“He’s not naked, he has a fig leaf,” Robyn pointed at the strategically placed piece, but Kasumi seemed unconvinced, “Which is weird, because the original statue does not have a fig leaf.”

“You know your naked men, I’ll give you that,” Kasumi said with a chuckle, “It’s called censorship.”

“Who would bother censoring a statue’s penis? Yes, I know they did it in the past, but in this day and age?” Robyn pondered and shook her head, “Never mind. I guess they had their reasons.”

Robyn looked around and familiarized herself with the rest of the display. 

"Tell me this isn't what I think it is."

"It is. How did Hock get Lady Liberty's head?" Kasumi wondered, "Ooh, look at this, Shepard! The Kassa Locust! The gun that killed two presidents! And replicas of it. I think we should keep these babies from rotting in a vault. They are meant to be used."

Robyn took one of the guns and examined it.

"It's a sweet gun," she admitted, "We can put them to better use than Hock ever did."

Not to mention that she would love to give the original as a gift to Thane. He'd appreciate it and in all likelihood show his appreciation to her. The mere thought of it made Robyn grin. They collected the guns and moved on.

The last display contained the graybox they had been looking for. As soon as Kasumi tried to access it, a giant hologram of Hock's head appeared and his voice boomed that they were doomed etc. It was really quite boring. For once the villain should come up with something new to say. He’d had plenty of time to prepare when they had walked around the vault, he should have had something prepared for the occasion. Robyn had always thought that criminals were lazy.

Doors opened and Hock’s mercs appeared. Robyn and Kasumi had to fight their way out of the vault and onwards. The mercs had brought their mechanic friends with them.

“It’s so nice that they make those killer mechs so polite,” Robyn commented dryly when another one blew up, “Organic beings rarely apologize when they are about to die. Not one of the ones I have killed has wished me a pleasant day.”

“I have no idea who had the idea to program the mechs that way,” Kasumi replied.

“Maybe they wanted to make clear that they are VIs, not AIs,” Robyn suggested, “Still, it boggles me why they would feel the need to make someone destroying mechs feel better about themselves.”

“Watch out, Shepard, they brought a more impolite friend.”

Robyn grunted. She disliked the heavy mechs. You couldn’t just go stand near them and blast them with a shotgun, you had to be careful. The rapid fire was destructive and the explosion in the end was powerful. You’d get hurt if you were too near when it went off.

Despite all the mercs, mechs, and whatnot, they made it to the roof. Hock was there personally to greet them – in a gunship. His minions kept attacking them and had to be taken down before Robyn and Kasumi could deal with the gunship. It had a tough shield that didn’t let bullets through.

“Blast it!” Robyn swore, “Who’s the fucker who keeps selling evil madmen impenetrable shields? As soon as we sink this idiot, I’m going to find that asshole and give him a piece of my mind.”

“Don’t sweat it, Shepard,” Kasumi said, “I can take it down.”

Kasumi grinned and started running. Robyn could do nothing but marvel at her skill when she took down the gunship’s shield in one beautiful, acrobatic jump. It was easy to see, why she was hailed as the best thief of the galaxy. She was more an artist than I thief, really. She landed on her feet and waved at Hock with glee. The gunship went down like a stone, taking Hock with it.

“Kasumi, that was beautiful,” Robyn said earnestly.

“Keep it in your pants, Shepard, you have a boyfriend,” Kasumi quipped.

“Will you please take the compliment and not make a joke of it?” Robyn replied.

Kasumi’s grin was replaced with a more solemn expression and she nodded.

“As you wish,” she said, “Thank you.”

\--

Robyn sat on her bed and stared at nothing. She knew that she had done the right thing, but it hadn’t been easy. Keiji’s graybox had contained a dangerous secret laced in his memories. He had left Kasumi a message saying that he’d done the encryption to protect her and that he wanted her to destroy the graybox. Robyn understood his motivation and appreciated his will to protect the one he loved. She also understood why Kasumi hadn’t had the power to destroy the graybox herself – it had contained his memories of their time together. Memories were precious, but they could also be pernicious. The ones in Keiji’s graybox definitely were which was why Robyn had destroyed it at Kasumi’s request. Kasumi had wanted to be alone and Robyn had retreated into her cabin for a breath.

Robyn sighed and rubber her temples. Memory was a tricky thing. On the one hand, your memories made you who you were. On the other, if you got stuck in the past, you could never live in the present or look forward to future. Old people retreated into the past, sure, but others were supposed to live, not only reminisce about living. She wished that Kasumi would see things that way one day. For now, she was still in a state of bereavement. She needed to process her grief. And she wasn’t the only one.

When she thought about it, Robyn realized that almost every member of the ground team had some sort of issues with their past. Jack had faced terrible things on Pragia. Grunt had very few memories and lots of stuff that had been implanted into him. Garrus had faced Saren and seen his own team butchered on Omega. Mordin had been battling his guilt about the genophage modification. Thane had lost his wife and tortured her killers. Samara had been forced to kill her own daughter. Zaeed had been double-crossed and shot to the head. Even Miranda and Jacob had daddy issues. And Robyn herself… Well, her psychological problems could keep a shrink busy for a long, long time. What a group of nutters. Yet they were the ones upon whom the safety of the galaxy depended. Life was funny.

Robyn got up and took the elevator down. She walked to Thane’s room and was about to ask to be let in when the door flew open.

“Thane said that you were welcome to enter at any time,” EDI said.

“Thanks, EDI.”

Robyn stepped inside and found Thane standing with his hands behind his back, staring through the glass. She went to stand behind him, hugged him tightly, and closed her eyes. She inhaled and enjoyed his scent. For some reason it had been more noticeable lately.

“Hello, siha,” he said quietly, as if not to disturb her.

“Mmmm,” she replied.

“Are you tired?”

“Mmmm.”

“Do you mind if I turn around so that I can hug you, too?”

“Mmh-mmh.”

Thane turned in her arms and enclosed her into his. He pulled her closer and leaned his head on hers.

“Mmmm,” he said.

Robyn smiled. She’d found a man who spoke her language.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About that statue - the Mass Effect version really is plus one leaf when compared to the original one (google it if you don't believe me - that's what I did to make sure that I wasn't imagining things). And sis says that I never notice things... Not sure I should be proud to have paid attention to this particular detail. I don't know what to make of the fact that BioWare felt the need to put it there.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback! I'm touched that some readers have made it this far :)


	21. In Case of Emergency, Remove Pants

Robyn stepped off the shuttle and looked around Zorya.

“This place looks like a paradise,” she said.

“It bloody well ain’t one, that’s for sure,” Zaeed replied, “No place with Vido’s a paradise.”

Zaeed pointed at the smokestack in the distance and Robyn nodded. They headed towards it. Zaeed tapped into the Blue Suns communications so that they could be aware of what the mercs were up to. Despite all that, Robyn still enjoyed the beautiful nature around them.

“Marsupilami!”

“What?” Zaeed asked.

“Those creatures,” Robyn said and pointed at the ape-like animals, “Those look exactly like marsupilami. I thought they were fictional.”

“Bestia sceleta, not marsupilami,” Mordin said, “Hunted close to extinction. Popular as pets. Miracle so many survive here.”

“No one poaches on Blue Suns turf,” Zaeed said.

Robyn shook her head and continued down the path. It was too typical that people would be selfish enough to disregard a species’ survival for their own enjoyment. They’d hunt down beautiful animals only to be able to show off their exotic pet to their friends.

There were several ambushes on the way. The Blue Suns were aware of their landing and had responded according but they were no match for the three of them. Zaeed got more and more wound up the closer they got to the refinery and Vido. Robyn was worried for him and what he might do. He wasn’t a bad guy, but when he was this pissed off, you couldn’t be sure of what would happen.

They fought their way into the refinery to find Vido. As it happened, Robyn had been right to be worried about Zaeed – he set the whole place on fire and even then Vido got away.

“Quick, Shepard, the bastard’s getting away!”

“No fucking way, Zaeed, we aren’t leaving these people to die,” Robyn said firmly, “If you want to go chase down your nightmares, go ahead, but that isn’t how my team works. We don’t let innocents die because of someone else’s selfishness. First we help, then we go after Vido. Take it or leave it and the team. Come, Mordin.”

Zaeed cursed, but followed them through the burning rooms. They hastened to redirect the fuel which enabled the workers to escape. It was time to go after Vido, which was no easy task. There was a huge room filled with mercs on all sides of the space. Wherever Robyn tried to take cover, there was always someone at her back. If that wasn’t enough, there were two tanks that shot flame on people below them.

“What sort of working environment is this?” Robyn yelled when she was jumping from cover to cover, trying to thin out the herd of mercs, “Who’s the union rep for refinery workers / mercs? I’ll give them a call as soon as I get out of this hellhole.”

“Strange place. Tanks spraying fire all around illogical. Perhaps a malfunction?” Mordin replied.

“Like I said, Shepard, no fucking paradise,” Zaeed commented, “Anyone got eyes on Vido?”

“I think he went through that door in the back. Behind the freaking huge mech,” Robyn replied.

“Goddamn.”

“Yeah.”

It took them a long time to get out of the large, burning room. By the time they did, Vido was already in a helicopter, flying away and jeering at Zaeed, who ran after him in a desperate attempt to shoot the bird down with his assault rifle. It didn’t work. He turned around and was coming at Robyn, yelling, when a metal beam fell on him and he was trapped under it.

“You gonna leave me here to rot, Shepard?”

“Tell me why I shouldn’t.”

“If you’re gonna save the galaxy, you need me.”

“I need you?” Robyn said and narrowed her eyes, “I need people who are ready to help. I need people who are willing to risk their safety, even their life, for others. Today you made me doubt your ability to be one of those people. You were ready to let innocent people die because of your blind desire for revenge. That is not the kind of person I need in my team, Zaeed. So, tell me, which guy do you want to be? The guy who lets others die or the guy who saves them from people like that?”

Zaeed huffed in compliance.

“You’re right, Shepard, I may have gone a bit far. What you’re doing is important and I wanna help.”

Robyn grinned at him.

“Glad to hear it. Let’s get you out.”

When they were in the shuttle and it was taking off, Robyn looked back. The smoking, smoldering ruin looked no longer like the paradise it had appeared before people had arrived. It had turned into hell. If that was not a metaphor, nothing was.

\--

“Where to now, Shepard?” Joker asked.

Robyn fell to the seat next to him.

“Now, my friend, we’re off to fetch Tali from the ass end of the galaxy.”

“Nicely put,” Joker replied with a chuckle, “It’s going to take time to get there.”

“That’s why I’ve been putting it off despite the kicked puppy eyes Garrus has been giving me,” Robyn said, “I think he misses her. As he should.”

“Tali is one fine woman. Garrus is a lucky guy.”

“I agree.”

“And she’s way hot. With that figure…” Joker said dreamily.

“And she’s taken,” Robyn reminded him, “Stick to your virtual ladies or find a real one who is free.”

“How would I do that? What woman would be happy with a guy who can barely touch her without breaking a bone?”

“Women are varied, Joker,” Robyn said, “Just because one likes it rough doesn’t mean that all do. One might prefer not to be touched. One could like protecting you. Many women appreciate the whole, not just a single attribute about the person they are considering.”

Joker gave her a suspicious glance.

“Are you screwing with me, Shepard?”

“No, I mean it. You never know until you try, right?”

“You’re not going to give me that soulmate crap, are you?”

“No, I don’t buy that fairytale bullshit,” Robyn replied, “But I believe in attraction, chemistry, and lust. I know that love is different from lust. I don’t think that love is blind – that’s lust. Lust comes and goes but love recognizes realities and keeps going all the same. If anything, love is more rational than lust.”

“You’re not a romantic,” Joker said, “I like that about you, Shepard.”

“As do I.”

Robyn turned around to see Thane. He’d walked in so silently that she hadn’t noticed. Evidently he’d heard her ponderings on the nature of love. Robyn was glad that he approved of her stance.

“Hello, Thane, how are you?”

“I am well, siha. I take it that your mission was successful?”

“That is a matter of interpretation,” Robyn replied, “We didn’t get the guy we went there to get despite the fact that Zaeed set the entire place on fire.”

Thane blinked.

“Were there casualties?”

“I don’t believe so. I called him out on his crap and we saved the workers. He’s pissed off, but I think he got the message and will put his revenge on the back burner until we defeat the Collectors,” Robyn replied.

“That’s good,” Thane said, “What happens next?”

“We are headed to Haestrom to get Tali. So we’ll have some time to take it easy, maybe train. And sleep properly,” Robyn said with a grin.

“I’m pleased to hear it,” Thane responded, “I have a few things in mind I’d like to do.”

“Oh, is that so?” Robyn asked with a sultry voice, “What sort of things?”

“That sounds like something you two should discuss in private. Away from me,” Joker said.

“I’d never have taken you for a prude, Joker,” Robyn said.

“I’m the opposite of prude, but I’d rather not imagine you doing all kinds of dirty things with your boyfriend, Shepard,” Joker replied, “I don’t want those images in my head.”

“Alright, we’ll leave you to fill your head with images of other people doing dirty things to each other,” Robyn said, got up, and followed Thane through the CIC and into the elevator.

“You had some ideas?” Robyn asked when the door closed behind them.

“I do. Would you like to start now or do you have something you need to do?” Thane asked.

“I need to do you.”

“Patience, siha,” Thane said and nibbled on her ear.

Robyn moaned.

“Your words and actions are contradicting each other,” she pointed out when his hand traveled to her ass.

“I disagree,” Thane whispered, “If I meant to take you now, you’d already be against that wall with your pants down and your center throbbing for me.”

Robyn swallowed. She knew that she was very red. And wet.

“We could do that,” she managed to say, though her voice was hoarse.

“No.”

The elevator stopped and they stepped out. Well, Thane stepped and Robyn staggered. Her knees were about to give out on her. Thane was looking smug.

“I need you to change your clothes, siha,” Thane said.

“You want me to wear that dress again?” Robyn asked hopefully. The dress would mean hot sex.

“No. I need you to wear something that you don’t mind getting dirty.”

“Huh?”

“You must have some old clothes of inferior quality,” Thane continued, “Ones that you use in training, perhaps?”

“I do, but why?”

“It’ll become apparent in time,” he replied, “Go change and come meet me in my room.”

He gave her a quick kiss and took the elevator down. Robyn shrugged and went into her cabin. His plan didn’t sound particularly appealing but as long as it meant being with him, she could deal. A few days in space with no fights to get into were luxury and she was determined to enjoy them. She changed into her workout clothes and went to find Thane.

\--

“Ouch.”

Robyn had no idea how many times she’d already hit her elbow or knee on the ducts. The spaces were narrow and dirty. She was glad that she’d worn her workout clothes. They would definitely need a wash after this.

“Are you okay, siha?”

Thane had stopped to look at her.

“Yes, I’m fine. I’ll be bruised, but I’m fine.”

“You sound angry.”

Thane turned awkwardly and crawled back to be closer to her. At least they were horizontal so he didn’t have to use the stairs that were above them.

“I’m not angry, I’m confused,” Robyn replied, “I don’t understand why you have been trailing me along in these ducts for the better part of an hour. This might be your playground, but I’m not an assassin. I don’t work from stealth.”

Thane crawled so close to her that their faces were only a few inches away. He shifted a little to be able to reach his hand to her face and caress it.

“Siha, the universe is an evil place. Anything can happen, especially to someone who’s on a mission like ours,” he said gently, “You already died once. I don’t want that to happen again. You should know how to hide in your own ship, just in case of emergency. You should have every possible piece of knowledge if it can keep you safe, even at the cost of a few bruises. I’m trying to protect you.”

“Turn around, Thane.”

“You don’t approve of my methods?”

“Just turn around.”

Thane looked hurt, but complied.

“Stay put,” Robyn said.

She crawled onwards which meant crawling on him. Thane looked a little dejected until she kissed him. She yanked his pants down, which was a feat of acrobatics in such a small space, and grabbed his dick. He made a surprised sound.

“What, here?”

“Why not? You being protective of me really turns me on.”

Robyn lowered her pants and panties and shimmied out of them. Some more maneuvering had Thane on top of her with her legs wrapped around him. He was so astonished that Robyn would have laughed if she hadn’t been so turned on.

“Yes, this is happening,” she said, “Do me already. You can wrap your mind around it later.”

That did it. He gathered himself and pushed. She moaned when she felt his hard length enter her. They moved hard and fast, and got lots of new bruises, but neither cared. It was well worth it. Who knew that exploring the ducts could be so exiting?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the title, I just had to xD
> 
> Marsupilami is a character from Franco-Belgian comics (Wikipedia will tell you more). Every time I see those animals on Zorya, marsupilami comes to mind. I used to read those comics when I was a kid. I came up with the name and the bit of back story Mordin gives the species. I have no idea if the game creator gave them names or not. I'm not that much of a research geek. Well, not this type of research anyway.
> 
> Please, don't get mad at me for Robyn's anti-romantic comments. Blame Disney for princesses, who think it's okay to marry the guy who is willing to kiss a seemingly dead pre-teen (yes, I'm looking at you, Snow White) etc.
> 
> I took some liberties with the duct design. I hope you don't mind.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback! :)


	22. Game Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when I start writing after midnight. I should never do that.

The next day, Thane exited his room after meditating and was surprised to find the mess empty. There was no laughter echoing around the halls and practically no one to be seen.

"EDI, is something wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing is wrong, Thane."

"Where is everyone then?"

"In the shuttle bay."

"I take it that there is something of particular interest?"

"My databanks suggest it might be a unique occurrence."

"Thank you, EDI," Thane said and headed for the elevator, "It sounds like I should go see for myself."

When the elevator door opened, the only thing Thane could see was a crowd of people with their backs turned towards him. The atmosphere was cheerful and excited. He made his way to the front of the crowd to see what it was all about. Shepard and Grunt were standing in front of everyone. They appeared to be having some sort of a contest. They were staring at the ground. Shepard threw some sort of a small item down. She jumped after it – first a couple of jumps on one foot, then on both, then again one and another with both. She landed on both feet, jumped up to turn 180 degrees in the air, and repeated the same jumps in reversed order. She took a little break before the last two jumps to pick up her item from the ground. Then she grinned at Grunt

"And that's how it's done," she said.

"That's easy," Grunt replied, "I won't be beaten. Let alone by a squishy human – even if it is you, Shepard."

Grunt threw his item as Shepard had done before him and began the same series of jumps. Thane thought that it was easy to see why the game had attracted such a following. Watching the krogan jumping on one foot and trying to turn around in the air was well worth the time. And Grunt took it so seriously – his face was contorted in concentration through the entire thing. Picking up his item from the ground took some effort but he managed it in the end and finished the course.

"Nicely done, rookie," Shepard said, "Let’s see if you survive the next round. It gets tougher."

“A krogan fears nothing,” Grunt replied with gusto, “Bring it on, Shepard.”

She threw the item again and the game went on. Shepard had no trouble with any of it and she managed to pull Grunt through it as well. After they had finished the last jumps, the crowd applauded them which Grunt was happy for despite his protests. He was grinning when he left with the dispersing group of people. Thane walked to Shepard, who was staring wistfully at the drawing on the floor. He touched her shoulder to get her attention.

"Hey, hon," she said.

"Siha," Thane replied, "What inspired you to challenge Grunt to such an exercise?"

"I don't know if you've noticed this, but my baby krogan is a little clumsy. I tried to come up with ways for him to improve his balance. Ballet was a definite no regardless of how awesome it would have been to see a krogan attempt doing ballet. If I found a way to make the exercise a competition, he'd be more eager to do it. Then it came to me. My brother and I used to play this when we were kids. It's called hopscotch. It was great fun when we were nine or so."

Thane saw the pain in her eyes when she thought about her family. He understood that pain all too well. He wanted to take her into his arms and kiss the pain away, but couldn't because they were in public. All he dared to do was to take her hand into his and squeeze it. She looked up at him and a sad smile played on her lips. It was replaced with a cheerier one in no time at all.

“In the spirit of improving Grunt’s balance, I have a couple of things planned for the entire ground team,” she said. The statement was followed by a noise that could only be called an evil snigger.

“Should I be worried?”

“Not you. I think you’ll do fine, master assassin. I can’t say the same for Garrus or Zaeed. Mordin may surprise me, as he often does.”

“Will you tell me what we’ll be doing?”

“Of course I will. Tomorrow.”

\--

The next day, Robyn gathered the ground team into the shuttle bay. Despite all the protests, she had banned the other members of the crew from coming into the room. It would be difficult enough to get the ground team to participate without the added pressure of well-wishing, though amused gazers.

“I hope you’ve all gotten a good rest during the past days,” she said and received some smiles and yawns as a reply, “Even though there are no fights, I don’t want us to get overly lax. I think we should train some skills that are too often neglected but important all the same. We have faced all kinds of battlegrounds inside and out. The terrain can be demanding and uneven. I don’t want any of us to fall prey to some bumps on the ground. Hence, today’s exercise is mainly about balance. There are added benefits to spatial perception and endurance. Not to mention fun.”

“Fun?” Miranda asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m not surprised you haven’t heard of it, Cerberus lackey,” Jack replied, “It’s what happens when you loosen up.”

“Look who’s talking,” Miranda answered, “I’d rather not- -“

“Chill, ladies,” Kasumi said, “What are we going to do, Shepard?”

Robyn pointed at a pile she had brought with her.

“We’re going to jump rope,” she said to the obvious horror of all.

“Not happening,” Jack said and turned on her heels.

“Count me out,” Zaeed said.

There were other protests as well.

“Anyone who doesn’t partake gets 20 kills deduced from their official kill count,” Robyn said, “I’d do evil laugh at this point, but it’s not my forte. Grunt, would you oblige me?”

“With pleasure, Shepard,” Grunt said and did a creditable evil laugh that would have made any aspiring evil overlord take notes in order to practice it at home.

The team made some half-hearted protests, but they all agreed to participate. Robyn took one end of the long rope and gave the other to Kasumi, who had no problems with balance and had jumped rope before. They rotated the rope while the others took turns running into the middle and jumping. The humans, Samara, and Thane had no problems. Mordin was quick to catch on. It took longer for Garrus and Grunt to get the idea. Their bodies weren’t designed for jumping rope. Robyn had to admire the patience they showed. They tried and retried until they got at least one. Then two, three, and so on.

“This is unfair, Shepard,” Garrus said, “The rest of you are much smaller than Grunt and I. It’s easier for you to fit into that space.”

“You’re right. That’s why we’re going to up the challenge for all of us,” Robyn said and got two new ropes. She handed one of them to Garrus. “This is for you and Grunt. You two will learn to work together while managing your balance. One of you will rotate the rope while both of you jump. The rest of us will be jumping two ropes at the same time.”

“How is that more difficult?” Grunt asked, looking suspicious, “It just makes the rope thicker and it’ll move slower.”

“It’s more difficult because we’ll rotate them in opposite directions,” Robyn replied.

An evil grin appeared on Grunt’s face.

“I can’t wait to see that,” he said, “Come on, turian, let’s show them how it’s done.”

Garrus grumbled something but followed the determined krogan a little away. Robyn smiled after them. They could train each other.

The exercise with two ropes appeared to be much more challenging to the remaining jumpers. Samara, Thane, and Mordin survived it with grace, as did Miranda, but Jacob, Jack, and Zaeed were not at home with a task that required such fine motoric skills. Robyn noticed that Thane was looking a little pale and wondered if this sort of thing was bad for his lungs.

“It’s time for Kasumi to show you how it’s done and for me to demonstrate how it isn’t done,” Robyn said, “Thane and Zaeed, would you take the ropes next?”

They changed and continued for a while longer. Kasumi was, as Robyn had expected, awesome. Robyn herself didn’t do as bad as she had feared. She’d jumped rope enough at base camp to have the hang of things even after all those years.

“Well done, everyone,” she said, “You can stop and do something fun to finish the exercise session. I’ll go see how the big boys are doing.”

Robyn walked around the corner. The sight she discovered was endearing. The men were standing face to face. Grunt was rotating the rope in a steady pace. There was a lot of masculine grunting and huffing going on, some complaints about Shepard making them do something so stupid. But she could see that they were having a good time. Who’d have thought?

“Looking good, soldiers,” she said.

Neither of them looked to her direction.

“96,” Garrus said.

“97,” Grunt stated.

“98.”

“99.”

“100!” they yelled in unison, four feet thumping to the floor. Grunt threw the rope away and headbutted Garrus. They were bursting with the air of success.

Grunt hurried past Robyn, bumping her shoulder as he went. Garrus followed after him. He stood beside Robyn and gave her a lopsided grin.

“You’re an amazing mum, Shepard,” he said and went away.

That came close to bringing tears to Robyn’s eyes.

\--

“Goddamn, what is it now, Shepard?”

“Dodgeball!”

“Fuck,” Jack said from the heart.

“You are determined to recreate every elementary school nightmare, aren’t you, Shepard?” Jacob asked.

“The rules are simple,” Robyn said without paying attention to the complaints, “There is a circle. We go stand inside it while someone stays out to pitch the ball. They try to hit the people inside the circle. If you’re hit, you go out and throw the ball at the people still inside. The game goes on until everyone has been hit. People inside the circle can’t touch the ball. And people throwing the ball must avoid sensitive areas.”

“Like the balls?” Kasumi offered.

“Yes,” Robyn replied, unfazed, “No biotics, no cloaks, no shoving etc. If need be, the number of balls can be added. Everyone clear on the rules?”

There was some grunting which Robyn took as a yes.

“Excellent. Who wants to start throwing the ball?”

“I’ll do it,” Zaeed said and took the ball, “Better than jumping away from the blasted thing.”

The game began and Zaeed proved to be a competent pitcher. He caught the Cerberus personnel right off the bat. Garrus joined them in a moment. He managed to hit Robyn, who caught Jack. Jack got Grunt. It was a team effort to bring down the remaining players who were agile and quick on their feet.

“Now you’ve all gotten the hang of things, so let’s crack it up a notch. We’ll divide into two groups, biotics and non-biotics. The latter ones go first. Kasumi is the pitcher because she was the last to get caught,” Robyn said and handed the ball to the grinning thief.

The round didn’t take long, but Robyn was happy to see how well Grunt dodged the throws. He had clearly benefited from her crazy ideas. Zaeed won the non-biotic round. He was trying not to look smug, but his efforts weren’t successful.

“Nicely done,” Robyn said, “Would you help me set up these shield generators for the next match?”

“Why do you need shield generators?” Grunt asked.

“You’ll see,” Robyn replied.

“What’s with the shit-eating grin, Shep?” Jack asked.

“You’ll see.”

When the shield generators were set in the manner Robyn had instructed, she turned to the team.

“It’s our turn now. The special rules for the biotics’ match are as follows: Using biotics is allowed,” she said and waited for the cheers to die down, “The generators’ shields will keep the ball from escaping too far from the playing field or breaking anything valuable. Use a barrier along your body for protection. Only temporary shields are allowed because this would be impossible otherwise. No shots to the head. No shots to the balls. And if you don’t want to participate, you don’t have to.”

“Are you kidding us, Shep?” Jack asked, “This is where it gets good.”

Robyn glanced at Thane. His lungs couldn’t take a heavy hit but he was quick and powerful enough to protect them. He didn’t indicate any willingness to bow out.

“Alright, everyone in. Any questions?”

“Can I pitch?” Jack asked.

“Sure, go nuts, Jack,” Robyn said and gave the ball to the adept.

Everyone took their places and the match began. This was a different sport altogether. The ball was thrown with biotic force every time. It moved incredibly fast, but so did the players. They dodged, jumped, and levitated away from it. Robyn was the first to get hit and she got Jacob soon afterwards. A ricochet from the outer shield caught Miranda on the ass and everyone but her agreed that it was a fair shot. Samara and Thane were the only ones remaining. Regardless of how fast the ball was thrown at them, they managed to dodge it or reflect it away. At one point, they threw the ball between themselves by creating temporary shields on its way.

“This is getting ridiculous,” Jack said.

“We need to get more organized,” Robyn said, “Surround them from all sides and bounce the ball until we get them.”

It wasn’t easy, but they managed to graze both in the end.

“That was awesome!” Kasumi enthused.

“Great show,” Zaeed said and hit Robyn on the back.

“Inventive use of biotics. Such displays effective in creating group spirit,” Mordin said.

“That was fun,” even Miranda said, “Thank you, Shepard.”

The group walked to the elevator, discussing the matches eagerly. Robyn stayed behind to clean up.

“That was clever, siha.”

“I don’t know about clever,” Robyn replied and got up, “But it was fun. We should try the biotic match again outdoors. That would be so much fun. And more challenging.”

“I wonder…” Thane said and paused to make Robyn look at him, “Does your inventiveness reach other areas of exercise as well?”

A flash of electricity ran through Robyn, leaving behind a growing heat.

“Would you like to find out?”

“Oh, yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse my silliness. It was just too fun to write :)
> 
> There are different versions of hopscotch and dodgeball, but those described are the ones I know. I'm not sure if I used the right words to describe the activities. If I didn't, sorry.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback! :)


	23. Of Love New And Old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. I had to work for 14 days straight and it really took everything out of me. This chapter probably has even more typos and errors than they usually do, but it cannot be helped in my current state of mind. My apologies.

”The sun is pink,” Robyn said, “Why do I feel like I’m about to walk into a bad romance movie?”

“Can we just go get Tali and leave? This place makes me edgy,” Garrus said.

“What? Aren’t you hearing a romantic soundtrack in your mind?”

“No, I hear my shield wheezing every time I step into the sun,” Garrus replied, “I don’t know if humans consider that romantic, but turians call it bad news.”

“It feels stupid to hide from the sun,” Robyn said and huffed, “When I was growing up, we didn’t get enough of it. Maybe it was for the better because I burn easily, but still. Sunbathing is nice.”

“Sunbathing?” Garrus asked.

“You know, lying around on a beach in a swimsuit, just taking it easy.”

“I find it hard to imagine that there ever was a version of you who was able to simply lie still in the sun and take it easy.”

“Now that you mention it… Yeah, you might be right. I didn’t really get the hang of sunbathing,” Robyn admitted, “My mom kept telling me to do it but I always had something more exciting to do.”

“Speaking of which,” Jacob said, “Geth incoming.”

“Just like old times,” Robyn said and shot the nearest geth.

Haestrom was not a nice place. It was full of ruins and geth and the burning sun got old fast. The quarians had chosen a bad planet to land onto and it became soon obvious that they had found that out for themselves. Most of them were already dead and the rest were being wiped out at a quick pace. Robyn managed to get a quarian called Kal’Reegar on the radio. He gave them the lay of the land. They’d found what they’d been looking for and Tali was still alive, but that was the end of the good news. They’d have to fight their way to get to the surviving quarians.

Robyn wondered at the quarians. Why had they been overcome? They should have known better. They had weapons that were designed to kill geth – what had happened to them? She and Garrus had lots of experience with geth and they had no trouble with the machines. The same couldn’t be said for Jacob. He was down all the time which was giving Robyn some unpleasant Kaidan flashbacks. She could tell that Garrus was getting frustrated with him, too. They both wanted to get to Tali, but Jacob kept messing up. Robyn knew that she should have brought someone with some electrical tricks up their sleeve, not Jacob. There’s no wisdom like hindsight, she thought.

“Jacob, hang behind and give me cover fire,” Robyn said and advanced through the hole they had blown into the wall, “If you see a geth holding a flamethrower, take a hike and shoot it from the distance. Your barrier won’t be enough to shield you from the fire.”

“Roger.”

The space behind the wall clear of geth. Almost clear, that is.

“Look at this,” Robyn said.

A lone geth was struggling. It was dragging its body forwards with its hands. It got to Robyn and took hold of her ankle before the light went out in its head. Garrus chuckled dryly.

“Even geth want you, Shepard,” he said.

“They are missing some things which I need in a relationship,” Robyn replied and shook her ankle free of the machine’s death clutch.

“But with the right appendices you’d consider it?” Garrus suggested with an evil grin.

“Well, I am attracted to lean men who… Why are we discussing this?” Robyn asked, “It must be the sun.”

“Yeah, way too much information,” Jacob said, “I don’t want to have this sort of mental images of my commander. Can we change the subject?”

“We should,” Robyn replied, “Let’s see if that monitor still works.”

They managed to get a vid connection to Tali. She was locked in but fine. She promised to open the door to them and asked them to make sure that Kal’Reegar survived. Robyn noticed that Garrus seemed a little displeased with her request. This was not the time to get into it but she decided to keep an eye on her friend.

After lots of geth, they found the room where Tali was hiding. Too bad that it was behind a hall full of geth.

“A Colossus. Fuck,” Robyn said.

“Spirits, I hate those things,” Garrus agreed.

“Bad?” Jacob asked.

“See that glowing thing in the front?” Robyn asked, “That’s a laser. One hit and you’ll discover life after death. I doubt Cerberus’ insurance policy covers your resurrection.”

They advanced towards the hall and found a lone quarian, shooting the geth at random.

“Kal’Reegar, I presume?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Reegar told them about the armature and its ability to repair itself. He explained the three routes to the Colossus and the dangers of each. He was about to charge the thing with them but Robyn wasn’t about to let a wounded man die because of his misplaced notion of honor and duty or whatever it was. The three of them could take care of it. She managed to talk him into staying put.

“You have a plan?” Garrus asked.

“I’m not sure you could call it a plan,” Robyn said, “But I’m thinking that you and I should take the route on the left. It will shield us from the Colossus. We can deal with regular geth. Jacob, you are to take the middle route. Stay hidden! Just pop up once in a while to keep the Colossus focused on you. No heroics, you hear me?”

“Yes, commander. How will you deal with the armature?” Jacob asked.

“I’ll test my newest toy,” Robyn said, “I’ve been dying to see what the Cain can do. Mordin promised me ‘complete annihilation’.”

“I like the sound of that,” Garrus said with a dark grin, “I’ll cover your back while you get it ready.”

“I’m counting on you. That’s going to take a while and I’ll be a sitting duck all that time.”

“A sitting duck?” Garrus asked.

“What? Does no other race have that expression?” Robyn wondered, “Never mind, it means that I’ll be an easy target.”

“Don’t worry, Shepard,” Garrus said, “I’ve got your six.”

“I know,” Robyn said and smiled at her friend, “Gentlemen, let’s go kick some geth ass!”

It was no easy task to get near the Colossus. There appeared to be no end to the little geth who kept coming out of nowhere.

“Seriously, where do those come from? Out of the Colossus’ ass?” Robyn asked after killing another one.

“Maybe that’s what why it huddles up every once in a while,” Garrus suggested, “It gives birth to a new wave of the little ones.”

“That mental image is… Disturbing,” Robyn said, “But it would explain why it is so mad at us. We’re killing its babies.”

“Heartbreaking,” Garrus said dryly and sniped a geth, “Let’s kill the creepy, metallic family before the daddy shows up.”

“Seconded.”

They made it to the other side of the hall. Robyn took a position around the corner from the Colossus. She put her gun away and unfastened the Cain from her back.

“This is it,” she said, “I’ll fire up this bad boy, you cover for me.”

“You got it,” Garrus replied.

Robyn stepped out from behind the corner, straight into the sights of the Colossus, and activated the Cain. She saw the armature turn its glowing laser at her. The moment felt like forever. The hum of the Cain was growing more and more noticeable. She saw the laser eye focus on her and take aim. For a second she was certain that this was death number two. Then the Cain stopped humming. There was a huge explosion that threw both her and Garrus into the wall behind them. When Robyn was able to struggle up, there was no more Colossus. No more geth of any kind – just a big, darkened space.

“Wow,” Robyn said, “That’s what I call a gun!”

Garrus looked stumped.

“I think I may be in love,” he said and picked up the Cain from where it had dropped, “How much ammo do we have for this?”

“A couple of shots, I think.”

“We need more,” Garrus said, “Enough of these and we could take down a Reaper.”

Robyn nodded. Thank goodness Mordin worked for them and not for the Reapers. He’d be a lethal enemy.

“I think we owe the good doctor a drink,” she said.

“A bottle,” Jacob commented.

“A pool of alcohol,” Garrus said, “Can I keep this?”

“You can hold it but I’m not going to let you keep it,” Robyn said, “It would give you an unfair advantage in the contest.”

“Like I needed one,” Garrus huffed, “Let’s get Tali and ditch this place.”

“Agreed.”

\--

“Tali, do you have a moment?”

“Certainly,” Tali said and led Robyn a little away from the other engineers, “It has been such a long time since we last talked. So much has happened.”

“I know,” Robyn replied, “Fill me in. What have you been up to?”

Tali told her about the end of her pilgrimage and what she had been doing in the flotilla. She told about the work she’d done with her father and on her own.

“Before my pilgrimage, I’d been happy with the flotilla,” she said, “I’d figured that it would be my life. That I’d be content to stay with my people, work on the engines, maybe find a nice man and start a family. But the hunt for Saren… I wasn’t the same after that. Being back wasn’t the same, I couldn’t pretend it didn’t happen. I know that the Reapers are out there. I know that they’re coming. It’s just… Bosh’tet.”

Tali wrangled her hands. Robyn understood what she was trying to say. It wasn’t easy being the one who knew the uncomfortable truth. It would be easy to let yourself be lulled into oblivion, just put aside what you knew and go on with your life. But if you were like Tali, a person of conscience, of purpose, of hope, you couldn’t do that. You had to do something.

“I know,” Robyn said and squeezed her hand, “Did I miss anything fun during the years I was dead? There must have been something.”

“Er… I got a space hamster,” Tali said.

“Aww, I love those things. What’s he called?”

“Gar’ran,” Tali answered meekly.

“Is that so?” Robyn said with a grin, “Not that I mean to pry, but if you want to talk about something, you can.”

“Ugh,” Tali said and covered her mask with her hand, “My love life is… A mess.”

“She says to the woman who’s technically the walking dead,” Robyn reminded her, “Lay it on me, sister, I can take it.”

“How much do you know about what happened between me and Garrus after you…” Tali let the end fade away.

“He has led me to believe that he went rogue and didn’t tell you.”

“That’s only half of the truth. He left me a message before he disappeared.”

“A message?” Robyn asked. She wished that Garrus hadn’t broken up with Tali via message. That would be bad.

“Yes. He said that he couldn’t continue the life he’d had before, not after everything that had happened. He needed to do something, anything, that mattered. He said that he loved me,” Tali said. She seemed sad.

“Did he even say goodbye? That he was leaving you? Anything?”

“He didn’t actually leave me, he just vanished,” Tali said, “You can imagine how worried I was. I tried contacting him, but all I got was the occasional message that he was alive. I traced his omnitool and found out that he was on Omega. I still don’t know what happened to him.”

“Have you talked to him? You should.”

“Not yet, but I will, as soon as I muster up the courage.”

“Tali, about Kal’Reegar,” Robyn said carefully, “I kind of picked up something there. Is he a friend or more than that?”

“I don’t know,” Tali replied, “I know that he’s interested and I like him. But I haven’t forgotten Garrus. I need to talk to him, see where he’s at, before I can make a decision on what to do next.”

“Sounds reasonable,” Robyn said.

Tali chuckled.

“The world may be coming to an end. You’d think we’d have bigger problems than our love lives,” she said, “Speaking of which, how is yours?”

Robyn couldn’t stop the smile from taking over her face.

“I, ah, I’m actually happy with my love life.”

“You are? That’s great, Shepard! You must tell me!” Tali enthused. She actually jumped a little and clapped her hands together. Robyn laughed at her friend.

“The guy in question is our resident master assassin, Thane Krios. He’s a drell. Kind and smart. Widower, has an adult son.”

“Older?”

“Yeah, but not too much.”

“Hot?”

“Oh, yes.”

“It sounds like I should meet this Thane.”

“No problem. I’m sure he’d like to meet you.”

“Okay, let’s go meet him.”

“What, now?”

“Why not? I’m eager to see the man who’s made my friend this happy,” Tali said. Her voice sounded like she was smiling.

Robyn just had to hug Tali. She was lucky to have a friend like her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have trouble keeping Jacob alive. That's one of the reasons why I don't like to keep him in the party. Plus I'm not that fond of him which I'm sure you've noticed by now.
> 
> Some of that geth-related banter has been discussed in late night Skype conversations with sis while playing ME3 multi. If CIA has been listening, I feel sorry for them.
> 
> The Cain is a fantastic gun. No strategy needed against the Colossus when you have the Cain which is why I delayed so long to go to Haestrom.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback! My vacation is almost here which should mean more chapters reasonably soon but you never know.


	24. Extreme IT Support

”This seems like a nice place for a vacation,” Robyn said when they stepped out of the shuttle.

“Hot as hell, you mean?” Jack snorted.

“At least the sun isn’t burning everything,” Tali said.

“No, the lava does that,” Jack commented, “Any idea why the eggheads were here?”

“They were doing some sort of research,” Robyn replied and looked around.

Jack rolled her eyes. “Figures. Scientists are crazy.”

“It takes a certain kind of mind to devote much of one’s time to a single subject,” Robyn replied and shrugged, “There is a fine line between wisdom and insanity, I guess.”

“It definitely isn’t here. This is pure insanity,” Jack said.

They advanced until they came across a container that looked promising. Its controls needed to be bypassed. Tali stepped up to do it and Robyn smiled.

“I’ve missed you so much, Tali,” she said.

“It’s good that we have someone who can really do this stuff,” Jack said when the door opened, “Shep blows at it. She hacks like an old lady. It takes forever.”

The container had a vehicle inside it.

“This must be their Hammerhead,” Robyn said.

“Cool,” Jack said, “Can I drive?”

“Sorry, Jack, but I’ve seen you drive a cab,” Robyn replied, “I’d rather not crash into a pit of burning lava. There must be more pleasant ways to die.”

“That happened once,” Jack grumbled, “And the old man was distracting me.”

“Nevertheless. I’ll drive.”

They got into the vehicle. Robyn took the driver’s seat, Jack got next to her, and Tali seemed happy to fasten herself securely to the back seat. She made a small sound when the Hammerhead’s motor came alive.

“You okay back there? You’re pretty quiet,” Jack said.

“I’m fine,” Tali replied, “I just… I hope this isn’t like the Mako.”

“What’s wrong with the Mako?” Jack asked.

“Tali has some bad memories from some years back,” Robyn replied, “She may have been with me and Wrex when I flipped the Mako on its roof to crush a geth Colossus.”

“And you gave me crap about my driving? You’re such a hypocrite,” Jack huffed.

“That’s different,” Robyn said defensively, “I meant to land on that Colossus. We needed to take it out which my maneuver achieved.”

Robyn tested the Hammerhead out before heading towards the research destinations.

“Ooh, this thing has thrusters! Awesome!”

“Merciful ancestors,” Tali said quietly, “Let me live through this.”

“I should be hurt by your lack of faith in my driving skills,” Robyn said, “We’ll be fine.”

And they were. The Hammerhead was easy to drive and they were done with the research in no time. When they got back to the Normandy, Robyn looked at Tali. She was still pressing her fingers into the bottom of her seat. 

“Are you alright?” Robyn asked, “Because you look like you need to take that chair with you if you want to leave.”

“Yes, I’m fine,” Tali replied and let go of the seat, “I’m sorry, Shepard, I don’t mean to imply that I don’t trust you.”

“It’s okay, I understand. Take your time.”

“Besides, you driving is better than Garrus driving.”

“What, you don’t like excitement? Have no taste for the quick stops and close calls? Shocking.”

Tali chuckled.

“I think he learned his lesson after he had to repair the damages he’d caused,” she said.

“Probably. I’ve never heard him cuss as much.”

\--

“Mmmm.”

“Enjoying it, are you?” Joker asked.

“There’s nothing like a good cup of coffee,” Robyn replied and smiled at her mug.

“There are so many things I could say right now, commander,” Joker pointed out.

“And you will continue not to say them unless you want to kiss your porn goodbye,” Robyn said, “Caffeine is a godsent.”

“Some people call it a drug.”

“Are any of those people here?” Robyn asked.

“No, but I could summon some,” Joker continued, paying no heed to Robyn’s warning tone, “I bet one green-shaded assassin would have a word or two to say about you putting dangerous substances in your body.”

“Really? Because I can recall quite a few instances in which he has enjoyed it immensely when I’ve taken dangerous substances in my body,” Robyn said, unfazed.

“Is that…? Are you referring to…? Eww,” Joker said and shook his head quickly, “Bad, bad images in my mind.”

“That’ll teach you to let me enjoy my coffee in peace,” Robyn stated and continued drinking her beverage with a slight smile on her face.

“Changing the subject now,” Joker said, “Why are we in this part of the galaxy? It looks boring.”

“Many things look boring at this distance,” Robyn pointed out, “But we are here to rob these planets of their resources according to the age-old tradition of humankind.”

“That sounded pretty jaded,” Joker replied, “Why these particular planets?”

“Liara’s intel implied that one of these has lots of eezo.”

“I still can’t believe that she’s the Shadow Broker now. That makes her even hotter if that’s possible,” Joker said with a dreamy look.

“Being the Shadow Broker is hot?”

“It’s the femme fatal thing.”

“Oh,” Robyn said, “I’ve never understood the male fascination with those.”

“Why not? Don’t all women want bad boys?”

“I don’t shag bad boys, Joker, I kill them.”

“Says the woman dating an assassin.”

“Huh…” Robyn said and sipped her coffee. “I never thought of it like that”

“Glad to have broadened your horizons.”

“Still, I don’t consider Thane a bad boy. He’s certainly badass, but he’s a very moral person.”

“To be with you, he has to be,” Joker said.

“Badass or moral?”

“Both.”

They sat in silence for a while and stared into space.

“Anomaly detected,” EDI said.

Robyn sat up and watched as Joker scanned the surface of the planet. The anomaly was the emergency beacon of a ship that had crashed. There was movement but no life signs. Robyn sighed. Her coffee break was over.

\--

“A sandstorm is approaching,” the shuttle VI informed them.

Robyn cursed in her mind. She’d been in a sandstorm before. It had not been pleasant.

“There’s good looting here, Shepard,” Grunt called from ahead.

Samara had also found something worth taking with them. Other than resources, they hadn’t found anything yet.

“Let’s move forward,” Robyn said, “We need to shut down that emergency beacon before the sandstorm hits us.”

“Do we know what brought the ship down?” Samara asked.

“Not yet,” Robyn replied, “Maybe we’ll find something that gives us an idea on what happened to it.”

Boxes were strewn around the surface. Robyn saw a datapad among them and clicked it to find a shipping manifest.

“They were packing several experimental mechs,” she said, “Because it’s us, we’ll be fighting mechs in a sandstorm in a matter of moments, mark my words.”

“Good,” Grunt said, “I like the challenge.”

“No implanted memories of sandstorms, then?” Robyn asked and scanned the area for the beacon, “Have you ever rubbed sandpaper on your face?”

“No. Why?”

“No reason. Ah, there’s the beacon. I’ll shut the signal and then we can get the hell out of dodge.”

As soon as the signal went out, other things started happening. The wind was picking up and electronic sounds were heard from the direction of their shuttle.

“I’m too genre savvy for my own good,” Robyn said when she took shelter behind a crate, “Those mechs aren’t regulation stuff. We have to be careful and quick to make it back before the storm gets too bad.”

“Nothing strange about these mechs, Shepard,” Grunt yelled, “They go boom like the regular ones.”

“That’s good news, Grunt, but I’d still steer clear of that big one if I was you.”

A rapid stream of shots began and Grunt sprinted to cover with a curse. The three of them had to work together to bring the huge mech down. It would have been easier if the visibility hadn’t been so poor. 

“The visibility is at 40%,” the VI informed them.

“Gee, I hadn’t noticed,” Robyn replied and shot the last mech, “Let’s get out of here.”

They shuffled into the shuttle and took flight.

“I assume the mechs were behind the crash?” Samara asked.

“You’re right,” Robyn said as she looked at the info they had found, “The last place they stopped at was Jarrahe Station. It’s not far from here. We should go take a look and find more about this mess. Malfunctioning mechs are no joking matter. They could wreak a lot of havoc on innocent people and civilians who cannot defend themselves.”

Grunt smiled.

“I like blowing things up,” he said, “Can I come?”

“Sorry, Grunt, but this sounds like a mission that requires electronic knowhow.”

“Huh?”

“Nerds.”

“Hmph,” Grunt grunted, “Nerds have all the fun.”

“I doubt many people would agree with you,” Robyn said with a grin.

\--

The Jarrahe Station was silent like the grave and just as cheery. No one was alive, but the corridors had several corpses and ominous blood spatters.

“This feels all wrong,” Robyn said.

“Experiments require safety procedures. Neglected safety means unnecessary loss of life. Reckless, stupid,” Mordin commented.

The memos strewn around the empty ship shed some light on the situation.

“Can either of you tell me how a VI goes paranoid?” Robyn asked.

“Seems like a nasty virus,” Miranda said, “The infected mechs on that cargo ship gave it to the VI and it started killing the staff to protect itself.”

“This is like a plot from an old sci-fi vid,” Robyn said, “This is the kind of stuff that makes people afraid of VIs and mechs.”

“Caution necessary,” Mordin said, “Fear an overreaction.”

As they advanced the VI got more serious in its attempts to stop them. It began with forbidding messages. Messages led to locked doors and ended with sprays of cooling agents that could kill them with one hit. It was all puzzles and whatnot to reach the core from which the VI was controlling the remains of the station. Robyn found the right console and hacked it.

“Goodbye,” she said and pressed the button. The face of the VI disappeared.

“According to the data, those infected mechs came from Capek,” Miranda said.

“Then that’s where we need to go,” Robyn said, “We can’t let this happen again.”

\--

Robyn fell to her bed with her eyes closed and sighed.

“EDI?”

“Yes, Shepard?”

“Mind if I ask you a personal question?”

“Not at all, commander.”

“Could that happen to you? Could you become infected with a virus and turn paranoid?” Robyn asked, “Because I’d rather know now and be prepared for it.”

“I am not a VI. I can shield myself better. And if there is an attack, I can repair myself or at least shut down or isolate the infected part,” EDI replied.

“Is that a no?”

“Yes.”

“Good,” Robyn said and fell asleep.

\--

Thane had been wondering Shepard’s absence. He went to seek her out and found her sleeping in her bed. He discarded most of his clothes and crawled into the bed. When he put an arm around her, she stirred from her sleep.

“Hi,” she said and burrowed closer to his body.

“I’m sorry, siha, I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.”

“It’s okay. I’m happy that you’re here.”

“You’ve had a busy day,” he said.

“You could say that,” she said with her eyes closed, “There was the sandstorm, the paranoid VI, and the factory. Plus we had to play hide and seek with killer mechs and blow up the whole place.”

“Hide and seek? Why?”

“The factory was full of crates. I have no idea how anyone could have run a successful operation like that. No wonder it all went wrong – if you neglect small things long enough, you’ll end up neglecting bigger things,” she said, “But I digress. We had to play hide and seek because the mechs were hiding in that labyrinth of crates. I’m glad none of them had flamethrowers. If they’d had those, we’d have been toast.”

“I’m glad to have you back safe, siha,” Thane murmured into her ear.

“I had a strange conversation with Joker.”

“I’m not surprised.”

“He suggested that you are a bad boy.”

Thane chuckled.

“Is that so? What do you think?” he asked as his hand traveled downwards on her body.

“I think you’re a good man, which is infinitely better.”

Thane hummed in appreciation at her statement. His hand reached its destination and began to explore. He had her wet and moaning in no time.

“How tired are you?” he whispered and nibbled at the shell of her ear.

“Not tired at all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's good that games give us the opportunity to solve our problems in the manner of Shepard et al. - by blowing the shit up of everything, even viruses :)
> 
> Genre savvy http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GenreSavvy
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback! I hope you're enjoying your summer.


	25. Politics And Porn

”Joker, we need to head to the Migrant Fleet.”

“Alright, Shepard. Any particular reason?”

“They’ve accused Tali of treason,” Robyn replied.

“What? That’s crazy!”

“You know that and I know that but apparently they need me to go knock their stupid heads together,” Robyn said and dialed Garrus on her omnitool. “Vakarian?”

“Shepard?”

“Go find Tali now, she needs you. Double time, soldier.”

“Aye, aye, ma’am,” Garrus said and cut the call off.

“They’re back together?” Joker asked.

“So I gather,” Robyn replied, “I’m happy for them. I hope it works out – they could use some happiness. Too bad it doesn’t seem likely at the moment, but at least they can support each other.”

“What happens if they find Tali guilty?” Joker asked.

“They’ll exile her.”

“That’s not so bad, is it?”

“To you and me, maybe, but for her? It’s bad,” Robyn said and shook her head, “They’ll expunge her from their records and she’ll never be welcome aboard a quarian ship again. It’s ugly.”

“But she’ll live,” Joker remarked, “And she’s been away from the flotilla before.”

“It’s what she considers home, Joker,” Robyn replied and sighed, “She hasn’t been taught the same harsh lessons as we have and I’d prefer it if she needn’t learn them at all. Not everyone has to be as jaded as I am.”

“Reapers will change things, commander.”

“I know, but they aren’t here yet,” Robyn said and turned to leave, “Let me know when we get there.”

Robyn went to the mess for lunch. She was finishing her meal when Garrus found her and sat opposite her.

“I want to come with you and Tali when you go to face the Admiralty Board,” he said.

“I’m sorry, Garrus, but I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Robyn replied and waved a hand to silence his protests, “She is your girlfriend and I know about turian protective instincts. Tali is going to be on trial and they are accusing her of horrible things. That would grate on your nerves too much. Or am I wrong?”

Garrus fisted his hands and pressed them into the table before releasing the pressure.

“You’re right as usual but, damn it, this whole business makes me furious,” he said, the subharmonics singing with rage.

“What’s the matter?”

Thane had appeared out of nowhere and was standing protectively next to Robyn. He was probably reacting to Garrus’ obvious hostility.

“The Migrant Fleet has called Tali in for trial,” Robyn said, “They’re accusing her of treason.”

“And I cannot go to help because I’d beat them until they saw reason,” Garrus said with barely controlled rage.

“I see,” Thane said and sat next to Robyn.

“You should go,” Garrus said and looked at Thane, “I’d trust you to look after them. And you’re better at keeping your urges down than I am.”

Robyn looked at Thane from the corner of her eye. What did that mean? She’d intended to read more about drell but she’d been so busy that it had made more sense to learn on the fly and ask Thane if need be.

“That is up to Shepard,” Thane replied and looked at Robyn.

“It’s fine by me,” Robyn answered, “Your turn is coming up anyway.”

Robyn sought out Thane’s hand under the table and squeezed it to show that she was always happy to take him with her. He made a small sound as acknowledgment. Garrus shook his head at them and left to find Tali.

\--

When they got to the flotilla, they found out that things were worse than they had feared. Tali was already treated like an exile. Her father was believed dead. The whole trial was more about geth than Tali’s actions. Robyn suggested that they take back the Alarai, the research ship that had been overrun by geth. On her way out she talked to the admirals and some familiar faces. Robyn had to admit that she saw why Tali liked Kal’Reegar. The marine was a man of reason and under different circumstances Robyn would definitely have hit that. She was doubly happy that she hadn’t brought Garrus. He’d have noticed the attention Kal paid to Tali.

The admirals made Robyn see red. Xen wanted to assume control of the geth. Robyn had no trouble thinking of her as the quarian version of Harbinger. Gerrel was a warmongering idiot. Koris was not a nice person, but he at least thought of the geth like Robyn – he admitted that quarians had wronged them and was in favor of finding a new colony instead of starting a costly war. She hoped that his view would triumph.

Taking back the Alarai was like being inside Tali’s nightmare. It was filled with geth. The partial logs showed them the occasional glimpse of what had happened. The research team had been so full of hope… Until everything went wrong because of Tali’s father and his wish to build his daughter a house on the home world. The image of a quarian woman saying goodbye to her son before dying was burned into Robyn’s mind. She more sensed than felt Thane’s comforting hand on her back and appreciated the support.

Tali broke down when they found her father’s corpse. Robyn helped her up and hugged her. They needed to finish their mission before there was time to grieve.

\--

Robyn turned the treadmill on and started running. She hoped that the exercise would give her some release from everything that had been going on. On the one hand, it had been painful to see all the sorrow piled on Tali. She’d seen the struggle Tali and other quarians had to face because of the loss of Rannoch. On the other hand, Robyn felt strangely disconnected from it all, which scared her a little bit. Was she growing immune to suffering? If she was, was that a bad thing?

Robyn had no illusions about the nature of reality. She knew that the galaxy was a dark place that held a lot of pain and suffering. Everyone would face some one day – more so when the Reapers arrived. It would be too much for one person to feel it all. If you tried that, you’d fall and break under the burden. What good would you be after that? You’d be able to help no one, not even yourself. Some distance was necessary. But not too much, or you’d end up losing more than you gained.

Robyn’s omnitool beeped with an incoming call. She pressed the button.

“Hey, Liara.”

“Shepard? Are you okay? You sound out of breath.”

“I’m running.”

“Do you want me to call again later?”

“No, it’s fine, I could use something else to think about,” Robyn replied, “I assume you’re calling because of Tali?”

“I am. How is she?” Liara asked with concern in her voice.

“Devastated, heartbroken, overwhelmed,” Robyn listed, “I hope Garrus can help her.”

“I’m happy they worked things out,” Liara said, “Those two are good together. But about the quarians – I cannot believe they are considering a war. They are in no way prepared for it.”

“I know,” Robyn said and shook her head, “They need someone to give them the cold, hard facts. They kept going on about hope, but empty hope is worse than no hope at all.”

“They could make Tali an admiral,” Liara said pensively, “Could she give them the facts?”

“I’m afraid not,” Robyn answered, “She wants Rannoch back too, though not as badly as some of the others. She flew at me when I suggested they search a new home. But I’ll talk to her again after she’s grieved. I doubt she’ll see things my way. Maybe she’d listen to Thane. Drell have lost their home world too.”

“I hope he can get through to her,” Liara said, “How is he?”

“Amazing,” Robyn said with a ridiculous grin on her face.

“Good to hear,” Liara said, “Feron wanted me to say hi.”

“How is he doing?”

“Better than you’d expect.”

“Tough guy,” Robyn said, “How do you like being the Shadow Broker?”

“It’s exhilarating and exhausting,” Liara replied, “But utterly worth it. Most of the time.”

“I hope so. Don’t drive yourself too hard, you hear me?”

“I’m not sure you’re qualified to give me that piece of advice, Shepard,” Liara said but Robyn could hear from her voice that she was smiling. “You have your own workaholic tendencies.”

“That’s not true,” Robyn said, “I’m as lazy as the next person. I’d love a good vacation, but work keeps finding me. You know how it is – I can’t go shopping without getting jumped on by some random mercs. And then there’s the whole ‘Reapers trying to destroy organic life’ thing. People keep saying that they’ll rest when they’re dead, but I’ll tell anyone right now that it isn’t so.”

“You aren’t dead, Shepard,” Liara said, “Try to keep it that way. And to enjoy your life.”

“That’s thanks to you and Feron. I’m grateful. When I get the chance, I’ll get you two something nice. What would you like?”

“Nude holos would be appreciated,” Feron’s voice replied. There were some noises that sounded a lot like someone being shoved away and shut behind a door.

“Sorry about that,” Liara said, “I didn’t notice him sneaking in.”

“If he’s half as good as Thane, I can’t blame you,” Robyn replied, “There’s no way I could ever learn to be that quiet. Was Feron trained by the pact?”

“Yes, but he left soon and has been a free agent most of his life,” Liara said, “He’s not really the hired assassin type. He’s more of a wild card.”

“But he’s staying with you for the time being?”

“He knows about the Reapers and wants to help, which is great because he’s excellent at what he does.”

“Good to hear it. I should probably head to the shower soon,” Robyn said and slowed the treadmill’s pace down to a jog. “It was good to talk to you, Liara. Take care of yourself and don’t be a stranger.”

“You too, Shepard. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Robyn jogged a few minutes and turned the treadmill off. She looked around and spotted Jacob working with some weights in the corner. She went over to say hi.

“How are you, Jacob?”

“Doing good, commander,” he replied, “I respect that you’re not a slacker. You were on the field earlier, but here you are, doing the work. Not every soldier does that. You are definitely the poster girl they pegged you for.”

“Sorry, you lost me,” Robyn said. She didn’t like the sound of ‘poster girl’.

“Oh, you didn’t know? The Alliance used you in recruitments ads. Those assholes had them running for like six months after you had disappeared. Then they just replaced you without a second thought,” Jacob said with judgmental tones.

“Wow, I had no idea,” Robyn said, “I should probably look those up and see if they got my better side. Thanks for the tip.”

“Aren’t you bothered by it? How they used you despite all the shit they put you through?”

“There’s nothing I can do about it now,” she said, “I’m not pleased with them but I realize that they have to play a different game than I do. I deal with mercs, mechs, and monsters – things I can shoot and kill. They deal with popularity, politics, and propaganda. They can’t just blow their way out of a tough spot.”

“You may be right,” Jacob said and started doing another exercise, “You are a bigger person than I am.”

“Ouch,” Robyn said and examined her behind with the air of mock offense.

“Oh, come off it, Shepard, I didn’t mean it like that and you know it,” Jacob said, “You’re fit. I know your boyfriend agrees.”

“Thanks, Jacob. Your ass is tiny, too. You enjoy your exercises, I’m hitting the shower.”

“Later, Shepard.”

Robyn took the elevator to her cabin and took a shower. After she was done, she sat in front of her computer and did an extranet search about the posters Jacob had mentioned.

\--

When the door to the captain’s cabin opened, Thane found Shepard laughing on the floor. She looked up and he saw that the corners of her eyes were moist. Had she been crying?

“Siha?”

“Oh, you must see these,” she said and got up, “I did and extranet search about myself. First I intended to see some recruitment posters the Alliance used around and after my death, but that led me to look for other stuff that has me starring in it. The results made me laugh so hard I fell off my chair. Did you know that they’ve made several pornos about me?”

“I fail to see how that’s funny,” he replied.

“If you’d seen what I’ve seen, you’d understand,” she said, “One of them has me hooking up with Saren. I’ve been rebuilt from dead tissue and still the actress playing me has the most artificially enhanced body I’ve ever seen.”

“Did they ask your permission?”

“This is the first time I’m hearing about it. Most of these have been made while I was dead,” she replied, “But I don’t mind. It’s weird, but it has nothing to do with me.”

Thane saw that she meant what she said, but he couldn’t help the low, aggressive hum. She heard it and focused her attention on him.

“Does this bother you?”

Thane breathed deep and tried to calm his mind.

“This isn’t right,” he said, “You saved a lot of people with a dear price. You gave everything and asked nothing in return. You deserve their respect, not whatever that is.”

He looked at Shepard. She had the most peculiar expression.

“What is it, siha?”

“I really love you, Thane Krios.”

Thane’s heart skipped a beat. The aggressive hum disappeared and was replaced by a happy purr.

“I love you, Robyn Shepard,” he said and pulled her into his arms for a passionate kiss.

“Now that’s said,” she said when he finally let her go, “Pull up a chair and we’ll watch me having sex with… Who’d you prefer? They have Liara, Kaidan, Kaidan and Liara, Wrex, Saren, Joker, Liara, Saren and Nihlus, Ashley, Garrus and Liara, Tali and Liara and Ashley… Wow, people really want to see me having sex with Liara. She’s a good friend but that’s not going to happen. I’m kind of curious about that Saren and Nihlus thing. How about that?”

“What if we forget the porn and I make love to you?” Thane asked.

“I can work with that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xD I really shouldn't be allowed to write this stuff...
> 
> I have issues with quarians because I disapprove of their treatment of geth. I'm looking forward to ME3 and being able to hit Gerrel in the nuts. But they do look damn good (quarians, not his nuts). One day I might end up writing a one shot about Kal'Reegar...
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback!


	26. Meditations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the chapter is quite dark. If you're not in the mood for that, you can simply skip it.

My name is Robyn Shepard. I’m not a person easily stuck on… Cut the crap, I’m writing this to myself, not some anonymous reader, and I know myself. I don’t have to justify the need to write something down after what has happened. This is my way of dealing with stuff. Others need to talk or drink or do something stupid. I think things through on my own and, if that is not enough, write them down and erase them afterwards. Because past is fleeting and you should be able to let go.

It is misleading to claim at this point that “where it all began was”. But this particular story with all its implied consequences began when Kasumi, Zaeed, and I boarded that derelict Reaper in order to collect the IFF. The longer we advanced, the more we saw the logs that told what had happened to the Cerberus research team. Fuck, we should have known when the first batch of husks appeared. The logs told the story of paranoia advancing to full-scale indoctrination. The Reaper messed with their minds in strange ways. The last log we found was a researcher talking about Reapers as if they were gods. He said that the Reaper may be dead, but that a dead god can still dream. If that’s what it was, it was having nightmares.

I know about nightmares – the chilling, dark dreams that come to you when you think you’re safe. When you think you’re doing fine. Or when you think you cannot bear any longer. Then they come and bring you all those things you never missed: the fear, the guilt, the panic from which there is no escape. They bring you all your mistakes, all that makes you feel unworthy, all that reminds you of what you have lost – loved ones, safety, health, hope. Then you wake up with a scream and one tiny moment you know that it wasn’t just a dream, it’s reality. It’s your life.

Then, as you are about to break down, a pair of strong hands takes hold of you and pulls you into warmth, comfort, safety. Low words are spoken to comfort you and to remind you that, despite all the loss and pain, you are not alone. That there is this man who loves you and that he’s right there. And he’s so good and wise and kind and sexy and…

What was I saying? Right, the Reaper. We encountered there a geth that saved our lives. We brought it with us to the Normandy and I reactivated it. I had a nice chat with the geth which is a sentence I never thought I’d say (or write). It had a lot to say about the Reapers, or Old Machines. As the geth, or Legion (named after a bunch of demons), explained, there are two groups of geth. There are the geth and the heretics. Geth make their own future, the heretics want the Old Machines to make a future for them. The heretics are the ones I have fought against, not geth. 

The heretics had a plan. They wanted to brainwash all geth into worshipping the Old Machines, which would mean turning them against organic life. Legion had a problem with this because the geth believe that “all intelligent life should self-determinate.” It wants to take down the heretics and the Old Machines which I’m all for. In fact it had a mission for us to do to bring an end to the heretics. I promised to do it and gave the coordinates to Joker.

Legion told me some things about the geth. They made it clear that they have a very different existence from ours. They are a collective, not individuals as such. They share information at the speed of light and one mobile platform has many runtimes in it at once. A platform doesn’t differ from another by the information but by their point of view.

I left Legion and thought of all this information. We’d known very little about the geth before they reappeared with Saren. It was probable that no one had thought to ask the geth about the geth. We knew what the quarians had told us, but they were more than biased. They had created a race of intelligent beings and then enslaved them. No wonder the geth had risen against them. Quarians had tried to kill them, it was only natural that they had resisted.

Tali was pissed at me for everything concerning Legion. She didn’t trust it, didn’t want to have it onboard the Normandy. I still took her to take down the heretic station, though, because fighting geth is her specialty. When we got to the station, Legion said that there was another option to destroying the heretics: we could turn their virus against themselves and bring them over to the side of the other geth. I said no and we advanced.

It wasn’t too difficult to fight our way through the station, that’s not the issue. The issue is that I did, in the end, allow Legion to overwrite the heretics. I tend towards rationality, but I have trouble stating, what was the one motivating factor behind that decision. I think it was my wish to save their lives.

During my years I’ve seen too much war, death, and sadness. I’ve seen too much lost to idiocy, greed, and cold-heartedness. Despite all that has happened to me, or maybe because of that, I don’t want to become one of those soldiers who has no appreciation for life. Yes, I see the big picture, but I don’t want to be blind to the little one. What would Louvre be without Mona Lisa?

These pretty words don’t change the fact that I made a conscious choice to brainwash intelligent creatures. How am I any different from the Reapers? Okay, I don’t turn them into distortions of what they used to be, but still. How was my action different from what the heretics were trying to do? Does it count that my intention was good? That I meant to free them by enslaving them to my point of view? That doesn’t sound right.

The bottom line is that I had two choices, both of them bad. I had to either kill them or brainwash them. I chose to value life over free choice, or the illusion of it. How much is there freedom of choice anyhow? I didn’t want to choose, but I had to. I didn’t want to be humanity’s great hope, but they made me into it anyway. I didn’t want to die, but I did. Free choice is limited by the reality we live in, that’s a fact. The freedom of choice is about what we decide to do with what we’ve got.

Legion told me that the heretics will go away to think things through. That sort of makes me feel better about my choice. They can still think what to do in the current situation. They aren’t like those mindless husks. They are still intelligent beings who are alive because I chose to appreciate life. I think I can live with that.

\--

Robyn looked at what she’d written. I’m a bit of a drama queen, aren’t I, she thought. And deleted all of it. But she felt better for having written it. She got up from her chair and turned her stereo on. The radio station was playing such a good song that she paused to listen to it. After a while, she was singing the words. Her feet started to move on their own, demanding the rest of the body to follow. She didn’t stop dancing when she heard the door. 

Thane looked surprised when she yanked him to dance with her. He caught on quickly and demonstrated that he knew how to move his body, a fact which Robyn had known since their first meeting. They smiled at each other and danced a couple of upbeat songs that kept them moving. The third one was as upbeat, but Thane pulled Robyn to him regardless. They leaned on each other, barely moving. She could feel his chest vibrate with the rate of his purring. She knew what that meant and she shivered with anticipation. Maybe he noticed it because he chuckled.

“Do you want to move on to the horizontal mambo?” Thane asked.

Robyn snorted.

“You’ve spent too much time with Joker,” she said, “Though I’m kind of impressed that you know that expression well enough to use it in the correct context.”

“I want to know more about you and your culture.”

“So you went to Joker?”

“Among others.”

Robyn looked at him. It was sweet that he wanted to know about humans and she had to work so much that it made sense for him to seek answers elsewhere.

“I hope they haven’t scared you too much,” she said, “Humans have done a lot of stupid stuff.”

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present,” Thane quoted.

“You’ve seen Kung Fu Panda? Seriously?” Robyn asked, “Of all the famous movies you could have seen, you saw a kid’s animation? Not Casablanca, not Citizen Kane, not… You know what, those are really boring, so good going.”

“I have seen many things, siha.”

“So it seems,” she replied and kissed him, “I’d be glad to show you many more, though some of them you’ve already seen.”

“I won’t complain,” he promised.

\--

Robyn fought down a yawn. She was sitting in the lotus position and getting extremely bored. Samara, who was floating next to her, had offered to teach her the fine art of meditation. Robyn was always ready to try new things so she had consented. 

It hadn’t taken long for Robyn to realize that she was not a meditation sort of person. Her mind was too lively and locking it down seemed such a waste of time. She understood that some people found great benefits from meditation if they were prone to worrying or something like that, but she wasn’t one of those people. She didn’t need to lock her mind down to be happy; she needed to let it roam and be free. Meditation was supposed to cut down stress, not create it, as it was doing to Robyn.

“Why are you growing anxious, Shepard?” Samara asked.

Robyn opened her eyes and looked at Samara who had stopped floating and was sitting next to her on the floor.

“I’m not finding this very useful,” Robyn admitted, “I understand how it’s supposed to work, but I don’t think I’m suited to meditation.”

“It can take time to get used to the feeling,” Samara said, “Would you like to keep trying?”

“Maybe some other time,” Robyn replied and looked out of the window, “You must have seen a great deal of the galaxy during your life, Samara. Would you tell me about it?”

“With pleasure,” she answered.

Samara had lived an amazing life. Even though asari had so many more years to live than humans, they didn’t seem to waste them. Samara had done a lot and seen even more. She’d been a merc, she’d had a family, she’d become a justicar… And she’d killed her daughter. Despite all that, she possessed mental peace and clarity the kind of which Robyn had rarely seen. Maybe meditation wasn’t all that bad.

“Your life sounds like a vid series,” Robyn said, “It has it all – twists, turns, and adventures, love and loss, growth and romance.”

Samara smiled her serene smile.

“Some would say the same of you, Shepard.”

“Too bad it seems more like a tragedy than a comedy,” she replied.

“How can you know? Isn’t a legend’s type determined by the ending? Your story can still have a happy ending.”

“’Legend’ doesn’t sound like something that has a happy ending,” Robyn said, “But I hope you’re right. Anything could happen when we go to the Collector home world. Maybe it’ll be filled with clowns, jugglers, and comedians. That would be cool. Except for the clowns. I never understood why they were supposed to be funny.”

Samara took out her omnitool and did a search.

“I have never seen a clown or a juggler,” she said after a while.

“You can disregard clowns but juggling is fun, you should check it out,” Robyn said and showed her a couple of vids.

“Is this a common human skill?”

“In certain circles,” Robyn replied, “Some people think it kind of geeky, but it’s good for your dexterity and eye-hand-coordination.”

“It sounds that you like it.”

“It’s my kind of meditation,” Robyn replied with a grin, “It requires focus in the present. It can be frustrating at first, but when you learn, you can see how much better you’ve become and that feels great.”

“Would you like to teach me this ‘your type of meditation’?”

“If you like,” Robyn said, “Right now?”

“Why not?”

“Okay, but first I’ll have to fetch my balls,” she said and jumped up, “And I didn’t mean that to sound dirty.”

“It did not until you said that.”

“Of course,” Robyn said, “Back to the matter at hand, I’d like to invite Grunt to join us. This is the kind of exercise that’s good for him. It’ll improve his dexterity and patience. I’ll meet you in the gym in ten.”

\--

Robyn smiled at her juggling students. Samara had gotten the hang of it soon which was no surprise. She could already throw three balls for several times without dropping any. Grunt had been easy to get excited about juggling after Robyn had shown him the vid of a guy throwing knives and flaming torches. He’d been a little less enthused when he’d found out that he had to start with mere balls, but he was doing it anyway. His face was distorted in concentration as he tried to keep the balls in the air.

“Why am I looking at a juggling krogan?”

Robyn looked at Kasumi who’d sneaked in to see what the fuss was about.

“I don’t know,” Robyn said, “Maybe because it’s awesome?”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen so many balls in the air,” Jack said.

Robyn and Kasumi only stared at her.

“Come on, it was out there, someone had to say it,” she defended herself, “How do you keep talking people into this stuff, Shep? Do you have mind control powers or something?”

“If I admitted to that, would you try juggling?”

“I wouldn’t have a choice, would I?” Jack said, “Fine, gimme some balls, Shepard.”

Robyn went to her juggling bag and threw Jack three balls.

“Do you always travel with extra balls?” Kasumi asked.

“As a matter of fact, yes,” Robyn replied, “You never know when you might need some. I have more balls than any commander you’ve ever met.”

“You’re right about that, at least,” Jack called out.

“I’ll take that as a compliment, Jack.”

“Proud of your balls, are you, Shep?”

“This sort of humor is very juvenile,” Garrus said. He’d arrived in time to hear their ball jokes.

“Are you suggesting we should graduate to boner jokes?” Jack asked. “I’ve got lots of those.”

“I bet,” Robyn said, “Garrus, if you’d like to improve the quality of conversation, be our guest.”

Everyone, who was not juggling, turned to look at Garrus. 

“That’s a lot of pressure on me,” he said, “I don’t know what you talked about before turning to Shepard’s balls. But has anyone seen the new Blasto vid?”

Everyone started bickering about the latest adventures of the hanar Spectre. Robyn smiled at her crazy family. They really were one of a kind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if you thought the beginning of the chapter was disruptive of the style of the fic. I thought I'd try a diary sort of a thing that shows a little of the thought processes Robyn has to go through to deal with all the crap the universe keeps throwing at her.
> 
> You know that Mona Lisa is tiny, right? Because you imagine it bigger in your head but when you actually see it... It's so small you could miss it if it wasn't for the horde of tourists.
> 
> And juggling is fun. I'd so want to see Grunt try it :)
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback!


	27. Boom

”Thane, what did Garrus mean when he said that you’re good at controlling your urges?”

Thane returned to the bed and sat next to Robyn.

“Drell are protective of their mates,” he replied.

“How so?”

“I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, siha,” he said and kissed her cheek, “I want to keep you safe.”

“I can relate to that,” Robyn replied, “The way Garrus said it, it sounded more like the turian version of protectiveness with the side of possessiveness.”

“Drell protective instincts are akin to turian ones, though not quite as strong. And yes, possessiveness is a part of it,” Thane said and looked down, “But it won’t be an issue. I am adept at controlling my emotions.”

“Have I done something that has made it necessary for you to suppress your urges?”

Thane looked at her and caressed her cheek.

“Not you, siha,” he said, “But you are more desirable than you give yourself credit. Many people want you. Whenever we go shopping or exploring a crowded world, people show interest. You don’t notice it, but I do. Some of them make my fists itch even though you don’t notice their desire. There’s nothing you can do about it and you shouldn’t let it trouble you.”

Robyn nodded. She wasn’t happy about the difficulties her fame was causing him but she couldn’t do anything about it.

“Okay,” she conceded, “Would you like me to be more protective or possessive of you?”

“No need,” he said and smiled at her, “I want you to be the way you are, my siha.”

Robyn gave him a slow kiss.

“You truly are a wonderful, wonderful man,” she said, “We should probably go downstairs and have some breakfast before people start cracking jokes.”

“They’ll do that anyway,” Thane said but got up and followed her to the elevator.

“Shepard,” EDI said while they were on their way down, “The IFF is installed, but I’ll need to run some diagnostics. I suggest you take the shuttle to your next location.”

“Alright, thank you, EDI,” Robyn replied, “They’re having a magnificent weapons sale on a nearby planet. I’ll take the whole ground team to check it out. I’m certain we can amuse ourselves while you make all the tests you need. It’ll be much more difficult to get them to leave.”

\--

Robyn stared at Joker’s joyless appearance and cursed in her mind. How wrong she’d been.

“How are you holding up, Joker?”

The pilot looked at her. There was not a spark of humor or much of anything in his eyes.

“This sucks,” he replied, “Are you going to give me crap about unshackling EDI? Because I had no choice.”

“You did the right thing. I trust EDI. She could have killed us many times over if she wanted to. And she helped you save the ship which means that we can go after those big-headed bastards and get our people back,” Robyn said, “Are you good to fly?”

“Yeah, I had some medi-gel. Let’s go kick some Collector ass,” Joker said with gusto.

“EDI, how long will it take us to get to the Omega 4 relay?” Robyn asked.

“ETA 2 hours.”

“Thanks. Would you connect me to the PA, please,” Robyn said and waited for the connection to begin, “Friends, it’s time. The Collectors have taken too many people. In two hours we’ll reach the Omega 4 relay. We don’t know for certain what’s beyond it. But we know that they’ve taken our people there. Let’s get them back and blow the shit up of whatever the Collectors call home. See you in two hours. Shepard out.”

\--

Thane sent a message to Kolyat before heading to the captain’s cabin. If he had only a few hours to live, he wanted to spend them with his siha. His heart was racing at the thought of what could happen. He could die… Which would mean leaving his siha behind. Or he could lose her. He couldn’t bear it.

He stepped into the cabin, full of unfamiliar, unwelcome anxiety. Was this where he’d come to? Despite all the time and preparation, prayers and meditation?

Shepard looked up from her documents and noticed his anxiety.

“Thane?”

Thane went to her chair and pulled her up and into his arms. He closed his eyes and smelled her scent.

“Siha,” he said into her hair, “I’m ashamed. I’ve known for years that death was coming. I prepared and made myself ready. I was ready. But then I met you.” He looked at her and placed a few errant strands of hair gently behind her ear. “Loving you has made me afraid to die. I don’t want to lose you.”

She looked at him with glistening eyes and kissed him.

“No one knows what will happen after we go through the relay,” she said, “But we have each other now.”

“Yes,” Thane replied and carried her towards the bed.

They undressed each other and got into the bed. Thane took his time with her. He showed his appreciation and admiration with his hands and mouth to each and every part of her body, moving slowly towards her center. He basked in the feeling of having her come with his name on her lips. It felt so good that he made it happen again. He would have gone for a third if his own situation wasn’t getting too difficult to live with. His cock was throbbing for attention and release. It was throbbing to be inside her.

He flipped them so that she was on top of him. He wanted to see her, wanted to look at her and remember this moment for the rest of his life, however short that may be. She slipped him inside with the most marvelous expression of ecstasy on her lovely face. She was so beautiful when she rode him with her hair wild and mussed up, with the rosy nipples bouncing in time with her smooth movements. Her pupils were wide and black with desire when she bent down to kiss him. He devoured her mouth. He extended his hand to rub her special spot and was awarded with deep moans that drove him wild. He couldn’t take it any longer. He flipped them again in order to pound into her furiously. She reached her peak and the wonderful contractions started. He made an animalistic sound and reached the abyss of pleasure.

He kissed her and caught his breath for a while before getting off her. He spooned her and pulled her close. No matter what the future would bring, he was going to hold the woman he loved.

“I love you, siha,” he whispered into her ear.

“I love you, too.”

\--

“Incoming!”

“Shit, shit, shit,” Joker cursed and made evasive moves.

It was easy to see why no ship ever came back from the Omega 4 relay. The arrival space was filled with all sorts of junk. It was completely thanks to Joker’s skills and the Normandy’s upgrades that they survived.

“Shepard, there’s a breach,” EDI said and showed the vid of a flying orb inside the ship.

“I’ll take care of it,” Robyn said, “Tali, Garrus, let’s go bring the ball down.”

They reached the hostile to find out that it wasn’t only armored, but had a laser as well.

“Why do people keep building things that have lasers as eyes? Why is that a thing?” Robyn asked as she shot at the orb.

“Efficiency?” Tali suggested.

“You think? Because it feels metaphorical to me,” Robyn replied.

“That’s one annoying metaphor,” Garrus said when the ball skipped outside the hull for a moment only to return through the other wall.

“It has its eye on you,” Robyn pointed out.

“No kidding,” Garrus said and dodged behind another cover. The ball was still on him.

“Maybe it’s a she ball,” Robyn suggested.

“I don’t care,” Tali said and blasted her shotgun at the foe, “That round bosh’tet better keep its eye off Garrus.”

Garrus chuckled and Robyn couldn’t help her smile. They took the eye down and hurried back to the cockpit.

\--

The Normandy crash landed on the Collector ship. The ground team left Joker and EDI to fix it while they left for their respective missions. Legion took to the vents, Robyn’s team opened doors for it and Garrus’ team attacked via another route. The resistance wasn’t as bad as Robyn had feared.

“I like it that Collectors have so big heads,” Robyn said, “It clearly doesn’t make them any more clever but it does make them extremely easy to headshot which saves bullets.”

“They are weak,” Grunt said.

“As individuals, maybe,” Thane said, “But as a group they’ve been much more effective than one would prefer.”

Robyn nodded and thought of the pods they’d seen in the previous Collector ship and the ones that were around them. The Collectors had been way too effective. But no more.

“Oh, shit, again,” Robyn said as one of the attacking Collectors began to glow in a familiar manner.

“Your form is fragile, Shepard,” Harbinger’s voice intoned.

“Look, who’s talking, bug,” Robyn yelled at him and sank him with a headshot.

“I think this is the last of the valves,” Thane said when they reached it.

Both teams and Legion managed to reach the destination without casualties. They found more of the nightmare pods. They were inhabited with missing colonists, who were being consumed in front of their eyes.

“Get them out! Now!”

Pod after pod was broken. They were unable to save the colonists, but at least the crew was relatively okay. They were shaken and traumatized, but functional. Robyn sent them to the Normandy with Mordin. He had the medical expertise to help them aboard the ship.

A little later Robyn, Thane, and Grunt continued towards the core of the ship. They were advancing inside a biotic shield Samara kept for them because of the Seeker swarms. They had to stop several times to fight the Collectors and Harbinger’s avatars that came to block their way. Maintaining a biotic shield that big was taking a strain on Samara. When the final door came to view, they had to run to make it.

The final leg of the mission began after some regrouping. The Collectors weren’t keen on Robyn blowing up their base which made them aggressive. Harbinger kept reappearing and yapping on, regardless of how many times they killed him.

“You’d think that he’d learn, but no,” Robyn said and rolled her eyes at yet another platform that was flying at them.

“Psychological warfare,” Thane said.

“Annoy your enemies to death? There’s a strategy…”

“He is confident of the might of the Reapers.”

“He hasn’t learned much about humans if he thinks that boasting about his superiority will make me back down,” Robyn said.

After all the fights they eventually reached the center. It had a human Reaper in it, or the embryo of one.

“What the fuck?” Robyn said and stared, “That’s wrong on so many levels. Let’s blow it up.”

The construct had four tubes going into it, probably feeding it. They needed to be broken to make it fall. It took a while, but it did fall, which made Robyn feel marginally less ill.

Robyn set the charges that would blow up the place. The Illusive Man called while she was doing that. He begged her to leave it. He wanted to harness the power of the human Reaper against Reapers, to use it to achieve human supremacy.

“Up yours,” Robyn stated and Grunt shut the feed, “This place will go boom in ten. We’d better leg it.”

That was when the horrible, mechanic face of the human Reaper loomed over them. Its eyes were red and its mouth was hanging open.

“It’s alive! Take cover!”

Robyn took out the Collector Beam and aimed at the red eyes every chance she got. It was difficult because the monster kept moving its head and dodging up and down. It shot at them and got Grunt.

“Grunt! You okay?”

Grunt swore loudly and crawled behind a cover.

“I need medi-gel,” he growled.

“Thane, help him,” Robyn asked, “I’ll get this boogeyman’s attention.”

Robyn sprinted from cover to the opposite direction from Grunt.

“Hey, Skeletor, over here!” she yelled and shot at the Reaper larva, “Where’s your hood?”

The creature moaned and attacked her. Maybe it wasn’t a cartoon fan. Robyn took a stand, aimed the beam, and pressed the button.

“Come on, come on, come on,” she said to herself, “Die already, you gross science project!”

It was a matter of mere moments but the monster fell before its beam hit Robyn. It made a loud crash that shook everything in the chamber. The platforms fell, taking the team with them. Robyn looked in horror as Thane and Grunt plumaged down. She fell painfully on her side but disregarded the pain and went to look for the others. Thane was lying face down a little away.

“Thane!” she yelled and ran to him.

He came to when she turned him around and smiled at her weakly. She helped him up and they went to help Grunt who was stuck under a beam. Everyone free and clear, it was time to run like hell before the base blew up. Pissed off Collectors ran after them, shooting. Robyn was lagging behind because of the pain in her side. The sight of the Normandy made her bite her lip and sprint. One last jump towards the open door and she’d be safe. She leaped… And would have fallen short, if Thane hadn’t caught her. He pulled her up and into his arms. The door closed and the Normandy flew away in the nick of time.

The Collector base and the human Reaper went boom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Collectors went bye bye :) 
> 
> "It's alive!" is from Frankenstein.
> 
> Skeletor is a Masters of The Universe (He-Man) villain.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback. :)


	28. Swooning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains spoilers for the Arrival DLC.
> 
> Sorry for the delay!

The Normandy was in full-on party mode. The PA was blasting some sort of jam in every common area; people were dancing, laughing, and drinking everywhere. Every portal of EDI was swirling and flashing like a disco ball. Robyn looked at the people, her people, and smiled. They were not only alive, but happy. 

They weren’t only alive and happy, but also horny. Most steady couples had already disappeared into their own secret nooks to have celebratory “we’re alive” sex. Quite a few unsteady couples had done the same. Jacob and Miranda had vanished somewhere, as well as Zaeed and Jack. Robyn grinned at the sight of Karen shutting the med bay door behind a dashing guy who worked in the CIC. All the power to her, she thought.

“Way to go, Chakwas,” Kasumi said and lifted her drink towards the closed door.

“Organic celebration of life is simple,” Legion stated, “Organisms celebrate life by reproducing. Progeny is a way of extending one’s life.”

“Also reduces stress,” Mordin said, “Built up of hormones during times of stress bad for bodies. Need physical exertion to get rid of built up. Sexual activity good for that purpose.”

“We’ll remember that,” Legion said, “We’ve had difficulties compiling a codex of organic sexual behavior. It is enormously varied.”

“Good luck with that,” Robyn said, “Even we don’t understand it most of the time.”

“Sexual behavior hormonal, not rational,” Mordin agreed.

“This is the most boring sex talk I’ve ever heard,” Kasumi said, “Crack it up a notch or change the subject, please.”

“What subject would you prefer?” Legion asked.

“Why do you have a hole in your chest?” Kasumi asked.

“This mobile platform was shot.”

“Why haven’t you fixed it?”

“We were on a mission,” Legion replied, “There was no time.”

“But the mission’s over now,” Kasumi said and raised her glass again.

“I’ll drink to that,” said Thane, who’d been sitting quietly next to Robyn, purring.

Those who had drinks raised them to the mission being over and drank. Robyn knew what Thane was thinking when the purring got a little more intense. He was looking forward to their private victory celebration. She was looking forward to that, too, but she’d deemed it important to be with her crew before going back to her cabin and letting Thane shag her brains out.

Robyn tried not to blush when she felt Thane’s hand on her upper thigh. He wasn’t playing it safe, he was going for gold. Maybe he was drunk. Mordin was looking at them funny, he had to know what was going on. Thane’s hand’s ascension made Robyn decide that it was time to move this upstairs. She got up, bid the others goodbye, and made her way to the elevator, trailing the purring Thane behind her. She’d never seen him as high-strung.

He had her against the elevator wall before the door had even closed.

“I’ve been dying to get you alone, siha,” he murmured and kissed her neck while grinding his erection against her.

“I can tell,” she replied, “I’ve been waiting for that, too.”

He kissed her passionately while unfastening her pants. On some level Robyn knew that it was a bit unethical to be getting naked in the elevator, but the other levels were going “weeeeee” so loudly that the one prudish, professional level wasn’t heard over the dim. Fuck it, she thought, and let Thane continue what he was doing.

The door opened to the captain’s cabin. Thane somehow maneuvered them out of the elevator and into the cabin. Then he pulled Robyn’s trousers and panties off and bend her over her table.

“Bed?” she suggested.

“Later,” Thane replied.

He made quick work of his own pants and was shafted inside her in the next moment. She made an incoherent noise of pleasure when she felt him penetrate her. He took hold of her hips and began pounding. This wasn’t slow and gentle like before the suicide run. Now they were both needy and horny and needed to feel alive. It was fast and rough and noisy. It didn’t take long before they came together.

“Wow,” Robyn said.

She was leaning her hands on the desk, supporting some of her weight and some of Thane’s, who was leaning on her back, hugging her, his cock still buried in her. She enjoyed the closeness and connection.

“I have no words to describe you, siha,” Thane said, his voice almost reverent, “You awaken me again and again. But I’m crushing you, pardon me.”

Thane detached himself from her and stepped away to let her straighten her back. She turned to kiss and hug him.

“I’m blessed to have met you,” she said, “And even more so to be loved by you.”

“I’m the one who is blessed, siha.”

They stood there, hugging, enjoying each other’s presence with no rush and no urgency. It was a quiet moment of bliss, of nothing to d- -

“Shepard, Admiral Hackett is on the line. He says it’s an emergency,” EDI said.

“Son of a bitch,” Robyn swore, “Can’t the galaxy survive for five minutes without something going wrong?”

“You could ignore it,” Thane suggested. He didn’t seem pleased with the interruption.

“I wish. But I’m not Cerberus, I’m Alliance. And I know Hackett. If he says it’s an emergency, he means it,” Robyn said and put her clothes back on.

Robyn went to her computer and took the call. Hackett had a mission for her. An Alliance operative working in deep cover had found evidence of imminent Reaper invasion. Robyn raised an eyebrow.

“I thought the Alliance had chosen not to believe in the Reaper invasion,” she said, “Why the sudden change of heart?”

“I’ve known Dr. Kenson for a long time, Shepard,” Hackett replied, “If she says she has proof, I believe her. She’s found some sort of a Reaper artifact.”

“You disregarded a fucking Reaper crashing into the Citadel, you didn’t believe me, but a single researcher is worth listening to?” Robyn asked in disbelief, but made a gesture when Hackett was about to open his mouth to give excuses. “Never mind. The important thing is that you may believe it now. What happened to Dr. Kenson?”

Hackett explained that she’d been taken by the batarians who’d placed her in a secret prison. The Alliance didn’t want a war so close to a possible Reaper invasion, so they couldn’t officially do anything. This was why Hackett wanted Robyn to go alone, unofficially, and to infiltrate the prison and bring Kenson to safety.

“I have a great team here, admiral,” Robyn said, “I’m sure they’d love to help out if I asked.”

“You cannot take a team,” Hackett said, “Any team would be perceived as an act of aggression. They’d kill her. Besides, the batarians have been trying to find an excuse for a war ever since we joined the galactic community. We cannot risk it. If you go alone, it’s only a single soldier looking for a friend.”

“As you wish. I’ll head there right now.”

“Thank you, Shepard. Take care,” Hackett said and cut the transmission.

“EDI, take a course to Aratoth,” Robyn said and sighed. She closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair.

“You shouldn’t go alone.”

“I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” Robyn replied and looked at Thane.

“I’ll work from the shadows. They won’t even know I’m there,” he said and crouched in front of her. He took hold of her hands and squeezed them. “I want to protect you. This mission makes me uncomfortable.”

Robyn considered it. She’d love to have him with her. But… The sound of ‘a Reaper artifact’ made her uncomfortable. It would be safest to handle it according to Hackett’s instructions. That way no one else would be in danger if something went awry. Thane would be safe. She caressed his handsome face and followed the line of his full lips with her thumb.

“I’m sorry, honey, but Hackett is right,” she said, “I ought to go alone.”

“Siha…”

“Don’t worry. It’s only a dungeon. What’s the worst that could happen?”

\--

“This is a sad place,” Robyn commented as she trudged on the desolate corridors of the hidden prison.

“It’s a prison,” Joker’s voice replied, “What did you expect?”

“Not this,” Robyn said and killed another varren, “This is the kind of place you bring people to be forgotten.”

“Isn’t that what prisons are?” Thane’s voice asked, “Places in which to stow people the society wants to forget?”

“You aren’t wrong,” Robyn admitted, “Hang on, there’s something ahead.”

There was hot gas shooting out of the pipes. She needed to work out some valves to keep from getting burned when moving ahead.

“This is a very unsafe working environment,” she said into the comm and killed a couple of guards.

“Maybe you should notify someone about that. I’m sure people from the health bureau would be right on top of that,” Joker said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

There were minor inconveniencies Robyn had to deal with before she found the doctor. She was being tortured which was no surprise – this was a batarian prison, after all. Robyn dealt with the guards and let the doctor loose. They had to escape the prison before they got into what had happened. That took time.

“What does a prison guard need a flamer for?” Robyn asked. 

“It’s extremely effective in confined spaces,” Thane’s voice replied, “Be on your guard, Shepard. Flamers will eat through your shield in mere moments.”

“I hear you,” Robyn said, “Damn, I hate barbeque.”

“How can anyone hate barbeque?” Joker asked.

“Imagine EDI roasting your ass with a flamethrower and you’ll see things from my point of view,” Robyn said and shot a guard, “I think that was the last one. Kenson and I are off now.”

Kenson told her story in the shuttle, and quite a story it was. Her team had found evidence that the Reapers planned on arriving via the Alpha relay, the relay of the system they were in. The Alpha relay would allow the Reapers to travel anywhere in the galaxy. The only way to stop this was to destroy the Alpha relay by launching an asteroid into it. Kenson’s team had dubbed this mission ‘The Project’.

“Original,” Robyn said dryly, “Wouldn’t destroying the relay, if it can even be done, destroy a lot more than just it?”

“We are going to launch an asteroid into it, commander,” Kenson replied, “That is enough. You’re right about the repercussions – the explosion will kill everyone in this system which means over 300 000 batarians.”

“That is a lot of lives. What tells you the Reapers are going to use the Alpha relay? What’s your proof?”

“The artifact we found gave me a vision,” Kenson explained, “Much like the Prothean beacons, I guess. There’s no doubt. You must help us finish The Project.”

“I’m not judging 300 000 people to die on these bases,” Robyn said, “I need to see the evidence.”

“You will. We’ll reach Arcturus soon enough,” Kenson said.

They landed on Arcturus. Considering how secret the mission was supposed to be, Alliance sure had poured a great many people into it. Kenson showed Robyn the countdown to the Arrival.

“Two days?” Robyn asked, astonished, “That can’t be right.”

“It is correct, I assure you,” Kenson said, “The artifact is pulsing at intervals that signify the proximity of the Reapers. When that counter hits zero, they are here.”

“Joker, did you get that?” Robyn asked.

“Yeah,” Joker’s bleak voice replied, “Looks like our problems are catching up with us. This is bad.”

“Not shit,” Robyn said and turned to Kenson, “I need to see that artifact.”

“Sure, commander, it’s right through here.”

They stepped into the next room and there it definitely was. There were no shields, no special suits, nothing. It was just sitting there, indoctrinating.

“Are you crazy? Don’t you know what Reaper stuff does to- -“

They were coming. Robyn had vivid, painful flashes of the Reapers and their plan to arrive through the Alpha relay. They were formidable, insurmountable, divine. They were the harbingers of organic destruction, her brain was being told. The communication was brief but powerful enough to make her fall to her knees.

“Oh, fuck,” she said, “Reapers are coming. We need to stop them.”

“No, commander,” Kenson’s voice said from someplace Robyn couldn’t locate, “You’re the one who must be stopped. Get her!”

\--

Shots were heard and the transmission was cut.

“Shepard?!” Thane yelled.

“Shit, we lost the feed,” Joker said, “They must have cut the power from their transmission tower. There’s nothing we can do.”

“We must go after her,” Thane said.

“We don’t know where they are,” Joker replied, “It’s pretty damn clear that they don’t want to be stopped. They’ve got to be masking their presence. There’s no way for us to find them.”

“Mister Moreau is right,” EDI said, “The Arcturus station is mobile and cloaked. It’s built for secrecy.”

“Can we at least get near the Alpha relay?” Thane asked, “Shepard will be needing a lift soon.”

“I bet she will,” Joker replied, “Geth couldn’t kill her. Collectors couldn’t kill her. Some indoctrinated Alliance idiots have no chance.”

Thane tried to smile but couldn’t. He was worried for his siha and cursed that she hadn’t let anyone come with her. She was formidable, but she was alone in a base full of indoctrinated people who were prepared for trouble. There was no saying what they’d do.

Hours went by slowly. Joker had suggested that Thane go back to his cot to sleep but he’d refused. He wanted to be there when Shepard contacted them. He was sitting in the copilot’s chair, meditating. Other members of the ground crew had come by to chat and wait with him. Tali and Garrus had brought him food, Samara had meditated with him. Grunt and Zaeed had told stories of Shepard in action. Everyone had been there, trying to help in their own way. It was clear that they wanted to get her back and that they hated seeing him in pain.

“There’s an hour left of the countdown,” Joker said, his tone suggesting that he was worried.

Thane nodded. He knew what Joker was saying. It wasn’t only Shepard’s life that was hanging in the balance. If she couldn’t stop the Arrival, Reapers would destroy everything.

“How long until we absolutely need to leave?” he asked.

“Less than an hour.”

“Shepard-Commander is resilient,” Legion said, “She will fight to stop the Old Machines.”

“She already has,” Garrus said and made subvocal sounds of displeasure, “Why does this keep happening to her?”

“Because she’s Shepard,” Joker replied, “Shit happens to her. Legendarily weird shit.”

“Yeah. Remember that one time on Omega when we were in a firefight and ran out of medi gel?” Garrus asked. “Shepard got shot in the leg but assured us that she was fine and could make it to the shuttle on her own. On our way back some dude started hitting on her. Usually that would mean a withering stare that made the guy piss hiss pants, but Shepard had lost so much blood that she just swooned right into his arms. The guy must have thought that it was his lucky day.”

Thane growled inadvertently.

“When was this?”

“When we were hunting for Saren,” Tali said, “We got Shepard to the shuttle and took off. After she woke up and asked what had happened, we told her that she’d passed out in the arms of a strange man. ‘Was he even cute?’ she asked.”

“It says much about Shepard that Wrex didn’t give her crap about passing out like a wilting flower,” Joker said.

“Wrex isn’t stupid,” Garrus pointed out, “He didn’t want to get his ass handed to him by Shepard.”

“Kaidan was sour for missing the chance to have Shepard pass out into his arms,” Tali said with a giggle, “He was so smitten, it was adorable.”

“Not the word I’d use,” Garrus said with disapproval. 

“Your former teammate had a romantic interest in Shepard?” Thane asked. He remembered hearing people mention it before.

“He’d have done anything to get her even to smile at him,” Joker said, “But she wouldn’t.”

“Why didn’t Shepard-Commander smile at a colleague?” Legion asked. The geth was having trouble processing what was going on.

“It’s a metaphor. Kaidan was really into her. In a big, ‘follow her around, laugh way too loud at her jokes, make an ass of himself’ sort of way, but to no use. I guess he wasn’t her type,” Joker said and shot a glance at Thane.

“Organics have a certain type they find romantically appealing?” Legion asked.

“Who’s going to explain that?” Joker asked and looked around.

“Some have certain types they like,” Tali said slowly, moving her hands as she spoke, “Others have more of a set of characteristics they are looking for in a partner. I think it’s mostly about the whole person, not so much about the type the person represents. People want to be seen as wholes, not as a list of features and stereotypes.”

“Thank you, Creator Tali’Zorah. We will process this information,” Legion replied.

There was a sudden wheeze and an electric crack that startled everyone.

“Normandy, this is Shepard. I need a pickup, pronto.”

Thane’s heart leapt of joy. His siha was alive!

“Aye, aye, commander,” Joker replied and headed towards the signal, “It’s damn good to hear your voice, Shepard.”

“Likewise,” she replied, “I’ll express my joy more thoroughly if we live. The shit’s about to hit the fan, ‘the shit’ being the Arcturus station and ‘the fan’ being the Alpha relay. We haven’t got much time and I’m still being shot at. It takes an indoctrinated mind to stop to shoot at someone when you could get into an emergency vehicle and save your ass.”

When they were close to Shepard’s location, Thane shot out of the cockpit and went to the airlock. Finally it opened and he had his siha in his arms.

“Hi, honey,” she said and fell unconscious.

Thane lifted her into his arms and took her to the med bay. Doctor Chackwas showed a bed and he placed Shepard on it. He sat next to it to wait for her to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't got that much gaming experience, but even I know that dungeons are bad. The loot is good but the traps and such are not.
> 
> If there's still someone who reads this fic, you have my thanks :)


	29. No Good Deed...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. Work tried to kill me as a thank you for returning from vacation.

The sound of a determined voice woke Thane. He looked up and realized that he’d fallen asleep next to Shepard, holding her hand. It was not the first time. She hadn’t woken up for two days and it worried Thane. Physically she was fine. It was her mind that was taking its time waking up.

“Step away, I must speak with Shepard,” someone said outside the med bay.

Thane got up and hurried to the door. It opened to reveal a human he recognized as Admiral Hackett. He was trying to get past Grunt who’d been guarding the door. Thane guessed that doing something, though quite pointless, made the krogan feel better about Shepard’s state.

“Is there a problem?” Thane asked.

“This puny human,” Grunt said with disdain, “Is trying to get to Shepard. I said, ‘no’.”

The admiral took a breath to relax himself and turned his gaze at Thane.

“I sent Shepard on a rescue mission and landed with a political crisis in my hands,” he said, “I need to know what happened.”

“The commander is still unconscious,” Thane replied.

“Still? How long has she been out of it?”

“She barely made it into the ship before fainting,” Thane said.

“I see. I should go see her,” Hackett said and took a step forward only to be blocked by Thane.

“I’m sorry but that is not going to happen,” he said, growling slightly. There was no way he was allowing a stranger near his siha when she was not awake. “She’ll talk to you when she’s awake and well enough.”

Hackett was not pleased. He considered Thane’s protective stance with a calculating look and decided against pushing further.

“Let me know when she wakes up,” he said and left. 

\--

Robyn had no idea how long she’d been following the stupid kid. The darkness of the surrounding forest was getting on her nerves, not to mention the voices. She didn’t know why she was stuck in this gloomy world with only the voices of her dead friends to keep her company. Every time she saw a glimpse of the kid he was running away from her. No matter how hard she tried she couldn’t run. The best she could do was a slow motion jog. The whole situation grated on her nerves.

Another glimpse of the kid made Robyn change her course. The boy seemed to be heading deeper into the woods. Maybe he hadn’t seen horror films and didn’t know how stupid it was to go to a place where darkness hung over everything like a wet shawl. For some reason it was imperative that Robyn save that child. He was important. Every life was important.

Robyn cursed the slow motion. It made her feel like she was in an ad of some kind. She tried calling after the child to make him wait, but there was no reply, not even an echo. Not if you didn’t count the dying screams of her team mates.

All of a sudden Robyn found herself at a clearing. She skidded to a halt, if one can say that about a slow motion movement. The ghostly figure of Harbinger was flowing at the center of it.

“You are wasting your time, Shepard,” it said, “The outcome is inevitable. Organics will come to an end.”

“Why? Why are you coming? Why are you killing us?” Robyn asked.

“It is how things are,” Harbinger replied, “Organics create chaos. You destroy everything you touch. We are the solution. We are the order. We are the end.”

“How is it order if you kill everyone?”

“Even your insufficient intellect should grasp that when there is no organic life, there is no chaos.”

At that, fire was everywhere. The whole world was burning around Robyn. The forest was replaced with the burning ruins of a city. The people around moaned in pain as the fire consumed them. A low war horn howled over the clamor of the suffering. The smoke burned Robyn’s eyes. An ache was clawing at her heart. The sight could only mean that the Reapers were here. She hadn’t been able to stop them after all. All those lives had been lost for nothing. She fell to her knees and screamed.

\--

“Siha, wake up, it’s alright. You’re safe.”

Robyn stopped screaming and took in her surroundings. The forest was gone. Nothing was burning. Harbinger was nowhere to be found. She was sitting on a bed in the med bay. Thane was right next to her, looking worried.

“It was a dream?” Robyn said, trying it out. “It was a dream. It was a dream!”

She threw her arms around Thane. Tears fell down her cheeks. Everything wasn’t lost. Everyone wasn’t dead. She’d stopped the arrival.

“It was a dream, siha,” Thane murmured into her hair. “You have finally waken up and come back to me.”

He kissed her gently and wiped away her tears. She squeezed his hand and smiled.

“How long was I out?”

“Over two days,” he replied, “I was worried.”

“I’m sorry. You know those Reapers and their crap – they have a tendency to get to you.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” he said and pressed his forehead against hers. “Do you remember what happened?”

Robyn gave him the short version. He looked solemn and troubled.

“I’m sorry, siha. That was a difficult decision you had to make.”

“It wasn’t really a decision. As much as that sucks, it had to be done,” Robyn said, “I know I did the right thing, but that doesn’t change the fact that I have 305 000 lives more on my conscience now. And there is going to be a political shit storm.”

“Speaking of which – Admiral Hackett is here. He wants a word with you.”

“Oh, fuck,” Robyn said and rubbed her temples, “This is going to be unpleasant.”

“You don’t have to see him right now. You need to get your strength back,” Thane said.

“I’ve been sleeping for days. This is the most rested I’m going to get,” she replied, “I have to get this over with.”

Robyn got up. The room rocked so much she had to sit back down.

“Siha, you need rest,” Thane said, sounding anxious.

“I’m okay, I just got up too fast,” she reassured him.

The second attempt went better. Robyn felt a little woozy but that was to be expected after everything that had happened. 

“EDI, where can I find Admiral Hackett?” she asked.

“He’s in the lab,” EDI replied, “It’s good to have you up and about, Shepard.”

“Thanks.”

Robyn headed to the elevator. Thane followed her with an intense look that told her that he was not going to let her out of his sights. That was fine by her. She found Hackett who was being sung at by Mordin. The admiral had the same look everyone had when they first encountered Mordin’s pattern song mode.

“Admiral.”

“Good to see you awake, Shepard,” Hackett said, “Care to explain what the hell happened?”

“It’s a long story, sir. I suggest we step into the next room.”

“Lead on, commander,” he said. When he noticed that Thane intended to follow them, he asked, “Shouldn’t this be private?”

Thane let out a small growl of displeasure.

“Thane has already heard the story.”

“Even so.”

“As you wish,” Robyn said and turned to Thane. “I’ll see you later.”

Thane had no choice, so he bowed and stayed behind the door. Robyn gave Hackett the rundown of what had happened since he had given her the mission. He listened silently and took it all in.

“You did the right thing,” he said at last, “But the batarians are pissed. They are out for blood.”

“Just the batarians?”

“Udina, too.”

“Oh, goody,” Robyn said dryly, “Let me guess – they want my head on a silver platter and Udina wants to be the one to give it to them? Or does he want to chop it off himself?”

“It wouldn’t surprise me,” Hackett replied, “They want a witch hunt. Unless we give it to them, we’re looking at war. We can’t afford that, not if the Reapers are coming.”

“They are coming, trust me. I merely slowed them down, gave us a little more time. Are we prepared to face them, sir?”

“I don’t know, commander,” Hackett said. He looked genuinely concerned.

Robyn sighed. She knew what was coming.

“I’ll take the fall, sir,” she said, “I took the Collectors down. As soon as I let my people go, I can come back and face what’s coming.”

“If it was up to me, you’d get a medal. But it’s not,” Hackett said, “I expect you on Earth in your dress blues as soon as possible, ready to take the hit.”

“Understood. I’ll do what needs to be done.”

“You always have, Shepard,” Hackett said, “Farewell.”

“I’ll see you soon, sir,” Robyn said.

\--

“Mordin, how is your research into Kepral’s? Any progress?”

“Yes. Had time since the end of Collector mission. Made huge advances, ready for testing. Found a facility for conducting experiments, soon cure. Need to go there with Thane. As soon as possible,” Mordin said.

“That’s great, Mordin, you’re my favorite genius,” Robyn said, “Give the coordinates to Joker. We’ll drop you off there. You can have all the credits we can spare. It’s not like Cerberus is getting them back.”

“Thane needs persuading. Told him already, didn’t show willing to leave so soon,” he said and gave her a look.

“Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him.”

Robyn made her way to her cabin deep in thought. She had thanked everyone for the mission. She’d told them that she was on her way to surrender to the Alliance. Anyone who didn’t want to do that would be dropped off wherever they chose. Only a handful of former Alliance people had chosen to stay till the end. The others were hopping off here and there.

Thane was meditating in the captain’s cabin. Robyn smiled at his stationary form. It wasn’t a surprise that he was unwilling to leave her until the end. She was no more eager to part with him but there was no alternative.

“Thane.”

He opened his dark eyes and looked at her.

“Mordin indicated that you were unwilling to go to the test facility,” she said and sat down next to him.

“I’m not unwilling, siha,” he said, “We can go after you get to Earth.”

“I wish that was true, but the Alliance doesn’t look kindly on people who’ve been collaborating with Cerberus. They’d question you. It would take too long. Besides, the sooner Mordin gets his tests done, the sooner he can cure you. That’s worth the rush,” she said, stroking his thigh.

“I don’t wish to part from you, siha,” he said, holding her to him.

“I don’t want to leave you, but I don’t want you thrown in jail, either. And I want you cured so that I can love you for a long time.”

“I can already love you for a long time,” Thane said. He pushed her onto her back which placed him on her. He kissed her slowly and grinned.

“That’s not what I meant,” Robyn said; her voice hitched. 

“Maybe it should be,” he said, kissing her neck and fondling her breast. His hips moved against hers in a way that made her ache for more. She made incoherent noises. He was so good at distracting her, damn him.

“What was I saying…”

“You wanted me to make sweet, sweet love to you,” Thane purred.

“No. I mean yes, but after I convinced you to go with Mordin and get well.”

“I’m better than ‘well’. I remember you saying that many, many times,” he said and continued what he was doing.

“Thane, please!”

He stopped moving and looked at her. He must have seen that she was serious.

“Alright, siha,” he said, “I’ll go with the professor. I want the future his cure offers – a future with you.”

“Thank you.”

“May I proceed now?”

“Please, do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is almost/possibly the end of the ME2 part. I think I'm going to continue this story instead of starting another one for ME3. I'm not sure if I'll write another chapter before venturing into new territory. Everyone, me included, will have to wait and see.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback! I'm happy to know that people are still reading :)


	30. Forever Yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the intro to the ME3 part.
> 
> Sorry for the wait, again. I had computer trouble. And I have been playing lots and lots of Guild Wars 2.
> 
> Oh, right. Kaidan dissing ahead. You've been warned.

Six months! Robyn cursed and hit the punching bag hard. It had been six fucking months since she had given herself in. They’d put her under house arrest and it seemed like nothing had happened since. There was some sort of a committee they had formed to discuss what to do with her. Batarians wanted her head on a spike, but some higher-ups trusted her and were doing their best to keep that from happening. Or maybe they had trouble finding a suitable spike, who knew?

Robyn appreciated the effort to keep her out of court but was more than a little frustrated with the limbo Alliance had stuck her in. They kept her under constant surveillance. That she could have lived with, but there was the complete ban from extranet and all sorts of communication. They’d tampered with her omnitool to make sending messages impossible. Hence, she hadn’t heard anything from Thane in six months and it was killing her. She didn’t know if he was even alive, let alone how he was doing. Thane kept appearing in her nightmares with her dead friends, asking her why she’d abandoned him. She always woke up from those dreams with a desperate call on her lips, asking him to come back to her. It was impossible to go back to sleep after that which meant that she’d spent many early mornings in the gym, punching the bag.

“You have issues, commander.”

Robyn lowered her hands and turned around.

“You know you’re not supposed to call me that, James,” she said.

“I’m not supposed to salute you, either,” the marine said and saluted. “What are they going to do to me, huh?”

Robyn smiled at the man. James had been one of the few people she’d seen on a regular basis during the house arrest. He was one of the guards responsible for keeping her in line, poor guy.

“Does that mean that house arrest guard duty is at the bottom of the barrel?”

“Not by a long shot. Alliance is pretty inventive when it comes to punishing bad behavior.”

“Oh, yes,” Robyn said, “I remember the good old days when I was young and you’d get sent to a clean-up crew if you got caught eyeballing the sergeant. Some crazy scientist had created a bunch of giant bug/plant hybrids. They grew and grew until they attacked the wacko and ultimately exploded, covering a fourth of an entire moon in goo. That was a tough clean-up. I never eyeballed a sergeant after that. I can’t even look at jelly anymore.”

“That’s nothing. Just after boot camp some of us were brought in for disorderly conduct. They sent us to a muddy planet in some ass crack of the galaxy to do reconnaissance on what turned out to be the most uninteresting hermit in the history of the universe. We spent two weeks in that cold piece of rock for nothing. Mud gets absolutely everywhere,” James said and squirmed at the mere thought.

“Mud nothing compared to half-rotten, organic goo.”

“Jelly isn’t that bad. Mud is like wet sand. There are places you don’t want to have sand in, trust me.”

“Says the guy who likes to watch mud wrestling,” Robyn said and raised one eyebrow.

“That’s completely different.”

“Uh-huh,” Robyn said. She was unconvinced.

“Anyhow, I was told to take you to the defense committee,” James said, “They want to see you now.”

“That sounds ominous,” Robyn said, “I need a quick shower. I’ll see you in five.”

\--

They ran into Anderson on their way to the committee.

“Good to see you, sir,” Robyn said.

“How are you doing, Shepard?”

“I’d like to know what’s going on.”

“It’s something big. Something they’ve never seen before,” Anderson.

Oh, all the bad jokes Robyn could have made, but the situation wasn’t right for any of them. It would have made her feel better, though. She’d been waiting for this like a trip to the dentist.

“The Reapers are coming,” she said. “Are we ready?”

“I don’t know,” Anderson replied gravely.

They saw Kaidan in the hall. He’d been promoted to major. Robyn was polite but distant. In the beginning she’d liked him fine, but time had showed her that he was not a person she could appreciate. Whatever had been left of her regard had died when he’d yelled at her on Horizon. She’d had to hold Garrus that he wouldn’t punch the ass, not that she hadn’t been tempted to let him do it.

Anderson let Robyn into the committee room. They showed her holos and told that entire colonies were vanishing. They had video feed of Reapers arriving on Earth. She told them what she’d been telling since Sovereign – the Reapers were coming and they meant to kill them all. The committee seemed to think that she had some sort of a strategy they could use to fight them. Robyn shook her head.

“We fight or we die,” she summed up. “There is no other strategy, no way to outwit them. They are more powerful, they are smarter, they are stronger. Our only option is to fight them together. We need to gather up all organic races, maybe even the geth, and destroy them.”

“But- -“

There was a giant explosion that shattered the windows. The force of the blast threw the people down. The Reapers had arrived and destruction had come in their wake. The countdown had begun.

\--

Robyn watched the burning wreckage of the city through the shuttle window. Several emotions were waging a war inside her, but she pushed them back firmly. This was neither the time nor the place for introspection.

“Commander, what the hell? Why are we going? The fight is down there!”

“I’m not any more eager to leave than you are, lieutenant. But the fight is everywhere and we can’t win it alone,” Robyn said. “Our mission is to go tell everyone what is happening. We need to gather troops and make them see that we have a common enemy.”

“Yeah, okay, but it pisses me off.”

“Good. It should. Take that and shove it up the Reapers’ ass,” Robyn advised.

“There’s an image…” Kaidan commented.

Robyn wasn’t particularly pleased to have the major on board but what was she going to do – tell him to stay and help Anderson? Besides, they were going to need help.

“Shepard, you have an urgent transmission from Admiral Hackett.”

“Joker?”

“They let me off easy when I told them that I was with Cerberus only for the ride,” the pilot’s voice replied. “And seriously – who else could fly this baby?”

“I’m glad that everything worked out for you. Patch Hackett through, please.”

The quality of the feed was bad but Robyn got the message Hackett was trying to convey. The March Archives had something valuable of Prothean origin. It could help them fight the Reapers. It wasn’t solid, but it was more than they’d had before. Robyn’s assignment was to go get it to safety. She promised to deliver.

\--

Mars had an incoming sandstorm, no contact from the base, and Cerberus. They’d come with a small task force and were executing Alliance personnel. Robyn didn’t stop to ask questions – she rushed at them and took them down.

“What is Cerberus doing here, Shepard?” Kaidan asked when they got into an elevator.

“Playing king of the red planet?”

“This is serious. Did you tell them that we’re coming here?” Kaidan kept pushing.

“She couldn’t have,” James replied for Robyn, “She’s been under constant surveillance.”

“I want to hear it from her,” Kaidan insisted.

“I’ve told you that I don’t work for Cerberus, that I’ve never worked for them, but you don’t believe me. What’s the point of me saying it again? I have more important things to do than to beat my head against the wall,” Robyn replied with irritation plain in her voice.

Kaidan wasn’t happy but at least he remained silent. The elevator ride ended and they found themselves in a hall. Strange sounds heralded the arrival of Liara. She crawled out of a duct, cast a singularity, and shot the Cerberus goons who’d been following her.

“She’s with us,” Robyn said to James who’d raised his gun. “It’s good to see you, Liara.”

“You too, Shepard. I wish it were under better circumstances.”

“Hackett told me to come here to pick something up. Can you shed some light on the matter?”

Liara explained about the plans she’d found. The Protheans had come up with a device to fight the Reapers but they hadn’t had time to build it. The plans had only recently been uncovered and Cerberus was after them as well.

“It’s a race to the Archives then,” Robyn said. “James, I need you to look after the shuttle. Someone has to cover the exits in case Cerberus gets us. And we’ll need a ride when the storm hits.”

James left and Robyn was alone with the old team, but no one said that it was just like old times, because it wasn’t. Robyn had died and been resurrected. Liara had become the Shadow Broker. And Kaidan was… Well, he’d been promoted. That had to mean some sort of personal growth. Probably. Too bad it wasn’t visible when he asked Robyn if Cerberus had done the same to her as they had to the gross husks of human beings they were using as troops. Robyn had to control herself not to bash his teeth in.

“No, Kaidan, I’m not a mindless, indoctrinated husk. If you think I am, you haven’t met enough husks.”

“I just want to know that a part of you survives in there.”

“All of me survives here, you bosh’tet! Let’s stop wasting time and get those plans.”

Kaidan muttered something but Robyn chose to ignore it and continued onwards. They made it to the archives to discover a hologram of the Illusive Man. Robyn wanted to punch his smug face so bad, but that would have been pointless. He tried to convince them to see things from his point of view, also known as ‘the crazy way’. The hunger for power glowed from his artificial eyes. It was creepy, just like everything else about him. When Robyn asked him what he’d done to his troops, he said that they’d been improved.

“You sick fuck,” Robyn said and shook her head.

“You of all people should understand, Shepard,” he replied.

“If you say something about me being like them, I’m going to track you down and hand your address personally to the Reapers. Then it’d be ‘crash, boom, bang, no more Illusive Man.’ Are you sure you want that?”

“Shepard, someone is hacking the archives. It’s not him, it’s someone close by,” Liara said.

A quick look around and they spotted the doctor who’d infiltrated the archives. When she noticed that she’d been discovered, she jammed her omnitool into the machine and ran. The three of them rushed after her.

“Damn, she’s quick,” Robyn huffed. “She moves too fast for me to do a biotic charge.”

The doctor ran all the way to the roof and jumped into a shuttle. It was taking off when a familiar shuttle came charging out of nowhere and crashed into it. The doctor’s shuttle dropped into the ground and burst into flame.

“Remind me to buy James a drink,” Robyn said and walked towards the remains of the burning shuttle. “Let’s retrieve what we can.”

Then something walked out of the wreckage. It appeared that the doctor was an android. Kaidan tried to charge it, but it caught hold of him and proceeded to do the exact thing Robyn had been fantasizing of doing for a long time – hit his head repeatedly against the wall. Somehow it was not funny or satisfying when you saw it actually happen. The android dropped Kaidan and Robyn shot it cold. It stopped moving.

“Liara, please help Kaidan,” Robyn said. “You’re a better medic than I am. I’ll call for a pickup.”

“We should take that thing with us,” Liara said, indicating the android. “It could be useful.”

“Got it.”

\--

They made it to the Normandy. After Kaidan had been taken to the med bay, Robyn and Liara informed Hackett of their success and findings. He was moderately hopeful. They would reach the Citadel soon and Robyn needed a moment to herself before that, so she went to her cabin and sat down next to her computer. She didn’t really expect to find any messages there, but checked all the same. 

There was one message. It had been heavily encrypted to make sure that no one but her would be able to read it. It was from Thane, dated about a month earlier. It read:

“Siha.

I haven’t heard from you in 150 awful, empty days. I’m being told that this is because the human Alliance has you under house arrest and has banned you from all communication. My mind knows this but my heart feels your absence keenly and is desperate to hear from you. The Alliance has fallen greatly in my estimation for keeping me from my Siha. I would have wanted to be there, to support and comfort you. I wish that they have at least treated you well.

I know you’d be curious of the progress the professor has made. He seems certain that he has discovered a way to treat Kepral’s. He’s used my own tissue to grow me new lungs – gene-manipulated ones that do not have the disease. Everything is ready and the surgery is scheduled for tomorrow. I would have wanted to wait until I had a chance to talk to you, to see you, to hold you one last time, just in case something goes wrong, but they told me that waiting was not an option.

Kolyat has been to see me. He’s still in the process of forgiving me, but I think we’ve made a great deal of progress over the past months. He is growing into a good man and I’m proud to be his father. I have told him as much. I want him to know that I love him.

I want you to know that, too. I love you, Siha. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. I may live, but I may as well die. I regret that I didn’t have more time with you, but the little I had is precious to me. I have cherished the memories during these months we have spent apart. Your smile, your laugh, your scent… They have kept me company. I cannot describe how wonderful it feels to hold your hand, to kiss your lips, to make love to you… Or just to be near you. I pray that I may find you again one day. If not in this world, then on the shores of Kalahira.

If this is goodbye, I wish you all the best, my Siha. If not, I’m eager to have you in my arms again. Your love makes me alive.

Forever yours,  
Thane”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know, this is a bit of a bummer, as befits the beginning of ME3. And Kaidan is an ass in that, too. I'm looking forward to getting the story going.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback! I hope you're still enjoying nice summer weather, 'cause we're not :/ Darn the rain. You can't play Pokémon Go in the rain.


	31. Definitely Not A Fairytale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

”Shepard, we’re arriving at the Citadel.” 

EDI’s voice shook Robyn from her thoughts. She dried her eyes and closed the message she’d been staring at for who knows how long. She was worried for Thane. Why hadn’t he contacted her after the surgery? Why hadn’t there been another message to say that he was alright? What if he wasn’t? What if…?

Robyn shook her head and got up. She refused to give up and believe the worst. Mordin was a genius and a decent person to boost. If Thane had died, Mordin would have let her know.

Robyn freshened up and made sure that she looked presentable before leaving the cabin. The following hours were a blur of meetings, politics, and all sorts of emergencies and bullshit. The council was not inclined to help Earth until they could be certain that their own worlds were safe. Try as she might, Robyn couldn’t convince them that no one would be safe from the Reapers. The two other councilors left, but the turian councilor had a suggestion. He needed the Normandy to get their Primarch to safety. That would buy the turians’ good will which would come in handy later in the war. There wasn’t much else Robyn could do, so she told him that they’d do it.

Robyn was half amused by and half sorry for Bailey who, to his never ending annoyance, had been promoted. She got to see some of the crap he had to deal with non-stop. She definitely did not envy his job. She was grateful that he was able to point her towards someone who could get her omnitool working again. She was dying to find out what had happened to Thane and her friends.

“Wow, this thing is wound up tight,” said the Alliance engineer Bailey had sent Robyn to see. “They really wanted to keep you from talking to anyone, huh?”

“You could say that, yes,” Robyn said dryly. “Will I get any messages that were sent to me while it was inactive?”

“No, sorry.”

“Oh,” Robyn said. She was disappointed. “Well, as long as it works, I’ll survive.”

The engineer made a few final tweaks and tested it.

“That should do the trick.”

“Thank you so much.”

“It was the least I could do, commander. You are one of the few hopes we have,” he said and saluted.

Robyn left him and looked for a quiet corner. She couldn’t wait any longer. She sat down and called Thane. He didn’t answer the call or the second one. She knew that she needed to get moving, so she decided to send him a message and hope that he’d get it and reply.

“Thane, Please, contact me as soon as you can. I’m worried sick for you because I haven’t heard from you since the message you sent before the surgery. I need to know that you’re alright. I love you. Robyn,” she typed and sent the message.

Robyn hurried to the hospital to get an update on Kaidan. He might be a jerk, but he was a part of her crew. The doctors were hopeful and believed in a full recovery which was enough for her. She ran into Dr. Chakwas and recruited her to serve as the Normandy’s physician.

“Karin,” Robyn said. Her tone made Chakwas pause. “Have you heard from Mordin?”

“I believe he’s working on something of utmost importance. As I understand it, it’s top secret. He was very hush hush about it in his terse message,” Karin replied.

“He has a new project? When did you get this message?”

“Maybe a month ago?”

“Okay, thank you. I’ll see you at the Normandy.”

Robyn called Mordin while she was walking towards the docking bay. The salarian answered at once.

“Shepard. Thought you were alive, too tough to kill again.”

“It’s good to hear a friendly voice, Mordin. I’d chitchat more, but I have to know – how is Thane?”

“Should be fine,” Mordin replied and a huge weight fell off Robyn’s heart. “The operation was successful. There was no need to stay, had another project lined up. Important, secret. Cannot tell more now.”

“If he’s fine, why haven’t I heard from him?”

“Couldn’t tell you. You need to ask yourself. Will send you coordinates to the facility,” Mordin said and Robyn’s omnitool informed her of a message.

“Thank you. I’m glad that you are doing something that makes you feel good, Mordin. I need to go now. Don’t be a stranger.”

“You’re a friend, Shepard, would be illogical to be a stranger.”

Robyn chuckled.

“Whatever you say, genius. Talk to you later. Take care of yourself.”

“You too, Shepard.”

Robyn checked the coordinates Mordin had sent her. The facility wasn’t too far from the Citadel. She decided that she wouldn’t waste the council’s resources. She could rent a shuttle and go get Thane herself. He could accompany them on their mission to save the galaxy. Karin ought to be able to handle his medical care. If he was in worse shape than she hoped, she at least wanted to see him before going off on her mission.

\--

The facility looked like any other private hospital. The clerk at the front desk sent her to the third floor and called a nurse to meet her there. The elevator door opened to reveal a human who reminded Robyn of Kelly as soon as she saw her. She had a huge smile on her face and she looked like she would start floating any second.

“Oh, finally you’re here! We’ve been waiting for this! It’s so good to meet you, Commander Shepard! I’m Joy Sparks!” she enthused.

Robyn had to suppress the urge to step away from her. She felt that it was natural to be wary of any person who seemed to end every sentence with and exclamation mark.

“Nice to meet you, nurse Sparks.”

“Please, call me Joy!”

“Okay, Joy,” Robyn replied. “Can you show me where to find Thane Krios?”

“I’d love to!”

Robyn followed Joy through the maze of corridors. She kept a good two steps between them – such enthusiasm might be contagious. People would look at her funny if she started saying things like, “Don’t the Reapers look fabulous; they’re so shiny!”

Robyn spotted a familiar shape at the end of a hallway. She knew the moment Joy noticed him, too. She perked up more, if that was even possible. She bit her lips and wetted them and pushed her chest forward. Robyn tried not to smile at her antics.

“Kolyat,” she called.

The young drell got up to greet her. His solemn expression made Robyn’s amusement fade away and fear was reborn in her mind.

“Thank you, Joy. If you don’t mind, we’d like to be alone,” he said to the nurse. Her eagerness inflated a little, but she nodded and batted her eyelashes at him before leaving them. Robyn couldn’t blame her. It was the charm of the Krios men. It was irresistible.

“Shepard,” Kolyat said and bowed. “We heard about Earth. I’m happy to see you alive.”

“Likewise, Kolyat. It’s good that you’re visiting your dad. How is he?”

“You don’t know?” Kolyat asked. “Haven’t you read the messages? Many were sent.”

“I didn’t get more than one. The Alliance locked me out of the extranet and didn’t allow me any means of communication. Please, how is Thane?”

“They operated on him,” Kolyat said and Robyn nodded for him to go on. “The operation was successful. He is cured of Kepral’s.”

“That’s wonderful!” Robyn said. “But you don’t look happy. There is more to it, isn’t there?”

“Recovery was going well. They kept him under most of the time to give him time to heal,” Kolyat said, walking back and forth. ” A few days ago the doctors finally deemed him ready to stay awake. As soon as he gained consciousness, he asked for you. Repeatedly. One of the human nurses had lost her family when the Reapers hit Earth and she broke. She started crying about the attack and how everyone will eventually die. Dad took that to mean that you were dead. He panicked, tried to get up. They shot him with sedatives and he went into solipsism. Do you know what that means?”

Robyn nodded.

“He told me about it. He’s living in his memories?”

“And if he wasn’t in a hospital, he’d be dead. He won’t eat, won’t respond to anything anyone says, and we have tried everything,” Kolyat said, looking forlorn.

Robyn wanted to hug him so bad, but because that was not appropriate, she bowed instead.

“I’m sorry, Kolyat. This must have been hard for you.”

“I just found him again. It hurts to see him like this,” he replied. “But now you’re here. You are the only one who can bring him back from himself. Your loss is what drove him there. When he sees that you’re not dead, he should be able to detach himself from his memories.”

“Alright. I’m going to go in and yank him into the reality if I need to. Do you want to come with me, or…?”

“You should go alone. I’ll go grab something to eat.”

Robyn went into the room and closed the door behind her. The room was tidy but small. The window allowed a beautiful view of blue sky. The sun shone on Thane’s stationary form. He looked as handsome as she remembered him, though much more fragile than she would have preferred. His bed was wide enough for her to sit on without squashing him, so she sat down and took his hand. His memory must have been a good one because he was purring. Robyn took in the sound she’d missed so much.

“Thane,” she said and squeezed his hand. Nothing happened.

“Thane,” she said louder and caressed his face. No reaction.

Robyn had been afraid of this. It was true that Thane was a light sleeper, but it was a completely different matter when he was in his memories. They were much more pervasive. She’d had to yank him out of his memories on a couple of occasions because the situation had demanded it and it hadn’t been easy. She looked at the door, wishing that no one would come in. She took her shoes off and got carefully on the bed so that she ended up sitting in his lap, straddling him. She took a firm hold of his shoulders and shook him forcefully.

“Thane!”

Thane stopped purring but didn’t open his eyes. Maybe she was getting through, but he wasn’t awake yet. There was one surefire way to waken him, but Robyn loathed doing it. She could always try the fairytale thing and kiss him, but that could be counterproductive. It was possible that he was enjoying a memory of them being intimate. A kiss would only feed into the force of the memory. So, she needed to do something that would not remind him of having sex with her.

“I’m so sorry about this, honey,” Robyn said and slapped Thane squarely on the cheek without holding back. The sound echoed in the room and Robyn was half afraid that hospital security would come and take her away.

Thane made a sound that sounded a lot like, “Ouch.” It was the universal noise of pain. Every language had a similar exclamation.

Thane opened his eyes groggily. As soon as he saw her, they blew wide open.

“Siha. But Earth was hit and you were there. You died. Does this mean that I’m dead, too?”

“No, idiot. This means that we’re both alive and that I’ve been worried sick for you. Why did you have to go and- -“

Robyn didn’t have time to finish her sentence because Thane pulled her down and kissed her for all that he was worth. Going by the length of the kiss, his lungs had to be doing really well. Thane started pulling at her clothes with determination. There were a million reasons why Robyn should have said no, but she couldn’t remember any of them. She’d missed him so much and been so worried. She needed this as much as he did.

Their clothes ended up all over the room. Thane maneuvered them so that she was under him. As soon as he was in place, he entered her fully. He kissed her and took hold of her hand before he started moving again. Their movements were frantic, desperate even, to reassure each other and themselves that they were both there, alive, in each other’s arms. He kissed, sucked, and bit her skin, as if to leave his mark on her, one that would not fade away. She circled him with her legs, egging him on, subtly changing the angle. The new position was just right and brought her to the edge of her completion.

“Wait for me, siha,” he begged her.

She concentrated and began rubbing the ridge on his cheek. It worked like she’d hoped – his breath hitched. She used her nails to draw a wail out of him. He started shaking.

“Now,” he whispered, his voice hoarse.

She let go of her self-control and took in every feeling he was giving her: his hardness inside her, hitting just the right spots, his closeness, his hand in hers, his amazing ass under her feet. She came with such a force that it was almost impossible not to scream. Her contractions finished him. His cum filled her with warmth and his weight on her was comfortable and reassuring. She felt like she’d come home. Or he had.

“I love you, siha,” he said and kissed her. “I have no words to describe how much I’ve missed you.”

“I love you too, Thane. And I could say the same to you,” she replied. “You had me worried there. Sorry that I hit you, but nothing else was working.”

“I don’t care. The most important thing is that you’re alive and you’re here,” Thane looked around. “At the medical facility. Er. Maybe we should…”

“Detach from each other and get our clothes on before your son walks in on us? Yes, I think we should,” Robyn said. She tried to move, but Thane wouldn’t let go of her. A little moving around made her realize that he was still inside her and that he was hard, again.

“What I meant to say, siha,” he said with a twinkle in his eye, “Is that there is a bathroom in the corner. It has a shower and, most importantly, a lock on the door.” 

“Oh!”

Robyn made no protests when Thane took her into his arms and carried her into the bathroom. He made sure to lock the door behind them before turning the water on, bending her against the wall, and taking her from behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've read a novel with a Joy like character in it, but I can't remember which one it was. Probably Terry Pratchett, speaking with exclamation marks sounds like something a character of his would do.
> 
> ME3 has a lot of stuff going on. It wouldn't make sense to write all of it. I'll see what I can do about that. Though I know from experience that it's fun to write a character in a story in which he isn't already. It gives you more freedom. If you don't know what I mean, check out my DA Inquisition story, especially the one with Fenris. :)
> 
> Thank you for reading, kudos, comments, and bookmarks! They are greatly appreciated :)


	32. Still Better Than The Hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay. I have lots of excuses, but I won't bore you with them. I'll try to do better in the future.

When they were in the shuttle Thane closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn’t care for hospitals – he’d seen too much of them. Everyone and everything seemed different in hospitals. Corridors and rooms reeked of despair and hopelessness. No one had light in their eyes. The staff tried to smile, but even they looked like they were doing it for the credits, not because of actual happiness. Sadness and loss permeated the whole building.

Good things happened in hospitals, true. Babies were born; sick were cured; glad tidings were received. But you left to celebrate. You left to live. Living didn’t happen in hospitals. Hospitals were for waiting and dying. He was glad to be out.

Thane felt a hand squeeze his. He looked up into the worried eyes of his siha. There was so much love there. He’d missed those eyes, missed her.

“Are you okay? You seemed far away.”

“I’m better than okay, siha,” he replied with a smile.

“You’re not in pain? Out of breath?”

“You needn’t worry. I’m fine.”

“Alright,” she replied, “But you should know that I’m going to keep an eye on you and I’ll ask Karin to do the same.”

Thane took her hand to his lips and kissed it. It seemed that she’d missed him too. They looked at the planets swirling by the window and enjoyed each other’s closeness.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Shepard began, “Would you like to stay in the captain’s cabin with me or would you prefer to have your own space? I believe your old room is still unoccupied if you wish to have it.”

“Of course I’d love to stay with you,” Thane replied, “But you might need some room every now and again. You have embarked upon a difficult and tiring task. Won’t you require solitude?”

“I’ve had six months of solitude, Thane. What I haven’t had is your presence.”

“Then I’d be honored to share the cabin with you.”

There was a silence.

“Er…”

“Honored wasn’t the right word, was it?” Thane said.

“Not quite,” Shepard said and laughed a little. “It sounded kind of like you were my subordinate whom I’d propositioned inappropriately.”

“You are the commander.”

Her words had brought all kinds of interesting images into his mind. She could be the commander in bed. She could order him to please her, to make her come again and again, with him aching for a release of his own. She could make him beg for her to take him into her mouth. She could handcuff him to the bed, have her way with him. She could…

Thane could smell Shepard’s arousal which made him realize that he’d said it aloud. He’d lived those daydreams so many times that they’d become a memory of sorts.

“I, ah… I think handcuffs could be acquired,” she said, her voice shaking, and cleared her throat. “Garrus used to be C-Sex – C-Sec! He used to be C-Sec! He might have a pair… Of handcuffs!”

Thane laughed at her flustered appearance. He’d made a habit of trying to make her blush – he liked the challenge. Not that it was a much of a challenge to him. Most people hadn’t seen Shepard redden, but Thane liked to think that his proximity brought naughty things into her mind which caused her to blush. It was endearing. And arousing.

“How long until we reach the Citadel?” he asked.

“Not long I’m afraid,” she replied and groaned. “We’ll have to keep it in our pants until later.”

Thane smiled again. He felt like smiling all the time. Many would have found this strange considering that they were at war, but Thane knew better. He’d seen fights. He knew that winning a fight meant nothing if you didn’t have anyone with whom to celebrate it. But now he was healthy. He had Kolyat. He had Shepard. Even with the Reapers, he was happy.

“Have I ever told you how much a like your smile?” she asked. “It’s gorgeous.”

“Thank you. As is yours, though I fear that I will not be seeing much of it in the months to come.”

“I promise to smile as long as you’re there.”

“But only when it’s genuine, siha. I’ll do my best to make you smile.”

The shuttle VI informed them that they were approaching the Citadel.

\--

Robyn leaned against the elevator wall and rubbed her eyes. The whole day had been a blur. She’d met many people, old and new. She’d had conversation after conversation, shook hands and whatnot. They’d arrive at Menae in a few hours and she needed to get some sleep before landing into a war zone.

She stepped out of the elevator and opened the door to find Thane sitting on the sofa. He looked up from whatever he was reading and smiled that beautiful smile of his. Her worries seemed far away. She walked up to him and sat into his lap.

“I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to have you here,” she said and kissed him.

Thane just purred and kissed her back.

\--

“Is that… Palaven?”

“The most powerful armed force in the galaxy, and they are getting eviscerated,” Liara said.

Robyn looked at the burning planet. Was Garrus somewhere down there? Was he safe?

“Is this how it was on Earth?” Liara asked.

“Yes.”

“Shepard, I’m so sorry.”

Robyn shook her head.

“Crying about it won’t change anything. We need to unite the races against the Reapers and that starts here,” she said. “So let’s clear a landing zone and find us a Primarch.”

As it turned out, that was easier said than done. Everything seemed to be when it came to Robyn. Maybe she was unlucky.

“Isn’t this nice? It looks like the Reapers have come up with a new beast,” Robyn said and shot one between the eyes.

“They look exactly like turians,” James said.

“Reaper specialty – they can take any creature and make it into a monster with minimal time and effort. They would have found a wonderful career in elementary education,” Robyn quipped.

James laughed.

“You’re not a kids sort of person, are you, commander?”

“Nothing wrong with kids, as long as they are well-behaved and not walking ads for contraceptives. And no matter how you slice it, babies are really cute.”

“Have you and Thane talked about kids?” Liara inquired.

“Who’s Thane?” James asked.

“Her lover,” Liara replied. “Have you?”

“End of the world sort of postpones discussions like that, Liara,” Robyn said and rolled her eyes. “How about we just kill these monsters and track down the Primarch, eh?”

Before they found the Primarch, they found Garrus. He was fine and dandy, being saluted by generals. Robyn half hoped that he was the next Primarch, but that wasn’t the case. They went to look for Victus. Robyn liked what Liara and Garrus told her about him. He was a soldier, not a stuffy politician. He understood war. Garrus knew his approximate location, so they headed off.

“Incoming!”

Robyn, Garrus, and James were called to defend the camp. Robyn took the main gun and shot away at the charging creatures. It was surprisingly fun.

“Yeeehaaaaa! I’ve got to get me one of these!” Robyn yelled over the sound of the gun. She heard Garrus laugh.

“Good to see that six months in captivity hasn’t changed you, Shepard.”

“She’s always like this?” James asked.

“Of course,” Robyn replied. “What were you expecting? Some stuffy commander who says stuff like ‘We shall fight on the beaches. We shall never surrender. For king, country, and cock, attack!’”

“What?” James asked, baffled. Garrus was almost doubled over with laughter. It was making it difficult for him to aim.

“Chill, James, I’m just messing with you,” Robyn said. Then the barricade shook and she fell over.

Robyn did a roll and landed behind a rock. A huge creature was charging at her, so she charged right back. They met in the middle and collided. Robyn went at it with her shotgun until it stayed down. She kicked it once for good measure.

“Damn that monster, I was just beginning to have fun.”

“Are you ready? We should go find Victus,” Garrus said.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Robyn looked around while Garrus walked ahead. Menae looked bad and sounded worse. The numbers… All that destruction… Robyn shook her head and tried to drown out the little voice that said that there was no hope. There was no room for thinking that, it would only lead to giving up and hiding under a rock. But the magnitude of the destruction was really hitting her. She had to come to terms with the fact that sacrifices would be necessary. Everyone could not be saved. She hated to think like that, but she knew that there was no alternative. Cheery thoughts would not stop the Reapers.

They found Victus. He was not pleased to leave but he knew that it was the only possible choice. He refused to promise Earth aid before the krogan were convinced to help Palaven. Robyn would have wanted to kick him in the crotch but decided that it would be stupid for two reasons. One, it was not a civilized way of doing politics. Two, he wouldn’t feel anything because of the armor and protective plating. Maybe later.

Robyn had to admit that she wasn’t particularly surprised by the turn of events. Why would turians help Earth if there was nothing in it for them? And they needed to unite all the races, even krogan, though they’d want something, too. A big something, if Robyn had to guess.

\--

Thane was in the mess when a strange human woman approached him. She was wearing a very revealing dress that had Alliance insignia on it. A flying camera was following her. She looked around the room, spotted him, and came straight to him with a radiant smile on her face. Her expression made Thane look for a way to escape.

“Hello, I don’t believe we’ve met. Diana Allers, Alliance News Network. And you are?”

“Thane Krios.”

“Of course, I should have guessed. You were in the team that went to the Collector homeworld. A pleasure to meet you,” she said and sat down. “Could I get an interview? I’m sure the viewers of Battlespace would love to hear more about you. I’m sure I would.”

Thane pulled minutely away from her. She was almost beaming with enthusiasm to get to know him.

“I’m an assassin, miss Allers. I can’t do my job if people know who I am and what I look like,” he replied.

“Fair point. But doesn’t it change things that we’re at war? I’m sure it would work wonders if people saw that everyone is pitching in, regardless of race or profession. You are very media friendly – the public would eat you up.”

Thane felt like bolting.

“Thank you for the offer, but I prefer to stay away from the limelight. That is for the politicians, not for me,” he said and got up. “If you don’t mind, I have business to attend to. Good day.”

Thane hurried to the elevator, fearing that the reporter would follow. He was happy to hear Joker inform them that the shuttle was returning. He went to greet the ground team. He was pleasantly surprised to see Garrus. The other turian on board the shuttle was unknown to him, but he assumed that it was the Primarch.

“Thane! Good to see you,” Garrus said.

“And you, Garrus. I’m sorry for Palaven.”

“Thanks,” he said and looked grim for a while. “Did everything go alright? Everything’s fine and all?”

“Yes, everything’s fine.”

“Good,” Garrus said. “Primarch Victus, may I introduce Thane Krios, the top assassin in the galaxy. Thane, this is Primarch Victus.”

They bowed to each other.

“Your reputation precedes you, Primarch,” Thane said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“I can’t say the same which says a lot about how good you are at your job. The best assassins are never known,” Victus replied. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I trust that you’re a part of Shepard’s crew on this mission?”

“Yes, I am.”

“He’s the stealth expert,” Garrus said. “That isn’t really Shepard. Or me, for that matter.”

“Yeah, we’re more of the ‘crash, boom, bang’ persuasion,” Shepard said. “I think it’s much easier to kill monsters than to sneak past them. It saves your nerves.”

“Just like it’s easier to drive over geth than to go around them?” Garrus said.

“That’s right.”

“It sounds like you’ve had some adventures,” Victus said. “Perhaps I get to hear about them one of these days.”

“I guess it would be more difficult to avoid hearing about them,” Robyn replied. “You should find a place to stay. Our AI will guide you to a spare room. It’s not a palace, but there will be a decent spot to sleep for everyone.”

“Thank you, commander,” Victus said and left, followed by Garrus.

Thane turned to Shepard.

“How was it?”

She didn’t need to say anything, merely to shake her head. He understood. This was going to be bad. Better than the hospital, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you :)


	33. Different Strokes for Different Folks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter (and the following) contains spoilers for the From Ashes DLC.

Robyn was practically vibrating from pent-up excitement. She was beaming at the crew on the way to the cockpit. People looked at her funny, but that was probably more because of EDI’s new “mobile platform” as she’d put it. Robyn couldn’t wait for Joker to see her.

They stepped into the cockpit and Joker turned around in his chair.

“What was that, Sh- -“

There was a faint click as Robyn took a holo of Joker’s face. His mouth was hanging open, his eyes were wide. It was priceless.

“Hello, Jeff,” EDI said. She did a little twirl which proved what Robyn had suspected for some time – she’d learned much more about people than she’d let on.

“Ghng.”

“That’s not a word, Joker,” Robyn pointed out. She was enjoying this way too much.

“EDI?” Joker sounded hoarse.

“Doesn’t she look great?”

“I’ll say,” Joker managed. “Will she… Will you stay like that?”

“This platform is useful. Normandy is powerful, but its combat abilities are limited. I can take this platform out and assist with ground missions, as long as we stay within range of the Normandy,” EDI said.

“That sounds great, as long as you perform the necessary tests,” Robyn replied. “It could only help to have you on the team. Plus, the ground team as it is could definitely use some technological support. We’re not exactly known for our brilliance in that field, though we try. You can come with us to the Grissom Academy.”

“Thank you, Shepard.”

“Will you stay here, EDI?” Joker asked. “It would greatly benefit my work to have you right there.”

Robyn chuckled.

“This is an appropriate place for this platform unless it’s needed elsewhere,” EDI replied and sat down.

Joker looked like a little boy in a candy store.

“There is a God!” he said, his eyes shining.

Robyn left them with a huge grin on her face.

\--

The whole business with the Grissom Academy made Robyn wonder at Cerberus even more. They had gone through a lot of trouble to acquire what turned out to be a handful of students. Bright and talented ones, sure, but still only a handful. They had formed a freaking blockage for a few teens! Why?

The academy seemed mostly deserted. Robyn, EDI, and Garrus had to stalk quite a few halls to spot anyone. The PA was blaring with Cerberus propaganda so poor that Robyn felt ashamed for them. Maybe they needed these kids to write some proper recruitment ads?

When they finally found the students, they were accompanied by a very familiar instructor.

“I thought I heard a girl scout,” Jack said after taking down several Cerberus operatives who’d gone after her kids. Quite the mama bear.

“Jack! This is not where I would have looked for you,” Robyn replied.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve gone soft. Alliance offered me a place here and I thought, ‘What the hell, I’ll give it a shot.’ It worked out surprisingly well. The students seem to respond to my style of teaching.”

“The psychotic biotic!”

“I’ll crush your heads!”

“Training them in your own image, I take it?” Robyn asked. “I like it. It suits you.”

“Maybe something came out of listening to all your mushy speeches,” Jack said and turned to her students. “Take five, eat something. You need to do better. Those barriers were sad, Rodriguez! Your grandma could have gotten through them!”

Robyn took Jack aside to have a talk about the students and their abilities in a real war. Jack cared for them and believed in them, but didn’t think they were ready for the frontlines. Robyn nodded. That was what she’d suspected.

“Alright, people, let’s move out!”

Cerberus had brought some serious firepower to get what they wanted. There were soldiers, engineers, turrets, mechs. They had so many mechs that one of them was sitting empty in a corridor, waiting to get into the fray if need be. Robyn looked at it speculatively.

“You know, I’ve always wanted to try one of these,” she said. “You go ahead; I’ll stomp right behind you.”

Robyn got into the machine. It was easy to operate so she got it moving in no time. She followed EDI and Garrus into a hall where they were engaged in a firefight with Cerberus troops. Robyn pushed a button and there troops were no more.

“Damn, this thing is cool!” she enthused. “Why didn’t I become an engineer?”

“Because you can’t do math,” Garrus reminded her.

“Oh, right. But we should definitely get one of these,” Robyn said and shot a small missile at a new wave of Cerberus goons. “I’d love to do a mech battle with Grunt. I wonder if you can headbutt with this.”

“Cerberus is giving you a chance to find out,” EDI said.

Robyn looked to the corridor where another mech was approaching. She may have squealed, but just a little. She hastened towards it and enjoyed the small hesitation in its movement – the driver had to be wondering at her eagerness to attack him. She did an evil laugh and went at it.

\--

“I did a mech battle today!”

Thane looked at Shepard whose eyes were shining with excitement. He couldn’t help smiling at her joy. It was a rare gift to be able to enjoy little things when the world was going to hell. He hugged her and kissed her nose.

“Grunt would appreciate that,” he said. “What was it like?”

“So good I almost felt sorry for not becoming an engineer.”

They sat down on the couch and Shepard curled tightly into his side. She told him about the mission and all the resources Cerberus had poured into it.

“Those students must be extraordinary,” he said at last. “What happens to them now?”

“They will work as support units. They’re too young and raw to be sent to the frontlines. It’s bad enough that they already have to fight,” Shepard said, her smile melting away.

“I know, siha.”

They were silent for a while, taking comfort in each other’s presence and warmth.

“What did you do today?”

“Meditated.”

“All this time?”

Thane did a partial shrug to indicate that he didn’t have much else to do.

“Meditation is good for the mind, but I’d much prefer to help you, siha. I am cured. I can do more than sit and think about helping.”

“Are you sure you are up for it? It hasn’t been that long since your surgery.”

“Yes. Doctor Chakwas can vouch for my physical condition and you are very well aware that I am capable of strenuous physical activity.”

Shepard laughed that deep, sensual laugh Thane found so alluring.

“That you definitely are,” she said and looked him in the eye. “If you think you’re ready and Chakwas gives the green light, you can come with us to Eden Prime.”

Thane tensed minutely. He knew that name – it was where this had all begun.

“Why Eden Prime?”

“There is some Prothean artifact Cerberus wants to get their dirty hands on. We’re not going to let them.”

“Don’t you have a rule about Prothean stuff?”

“I know, ‘Stay away from Prothean shit’,” she said and sighed. “Yet I find myself forced to break that rule time after time. The beacon on Eden Prime was important. Whatever else we find there might be as important, so we can’t allow Cerberus to get it.”

“I agree and I’d be happy to help you if you’ll let me.”

She looked at him with a glint in her eye.

“It all depends on your physical condition,” she said and maneuvered herself into his lap. “Maybe we should do some more exercises? For your health, of course.”

Thane grinned at her. Her libido wasn’t the only thing that was rising.

“If you want to be sure of my fitness, I don’t see that we have a choice,” he replied and kissed her hungrily.

\--

“Liara, what sort of an artifact are we dealing with?” Robyn asked and kept a close lookout on the surroundings. They had only minutes before Cerberus would spot them.

“It’s not an artifact,” Liara replied, sounding stunned. “It’s a living Prothean.”

“Excuse me, I must have misheard you.”

“He’s been in stasis for thousands of years,” Liara said, her eyes shining with excitement. “He must be someone important to have been selected and saved. Maybe the brightest scholar or the wisest councilor?”

“We should probably get him out then,” Robyn said. “Let’s see what Cerberus has found out about that pod.”

While they searched the Cerberus labs for clues, Liara went on and on about how great the Protheans had been – wise, noble, and whatnot. Robyn had to smile. Her friend sounded like her old self, not like the hardened Shadow Broker she’d become. It was good to see that the shy, hopeful scholar was still alive inside the asari. Robyn was less prone to think so highly of the Protheans. They sounded much like the Romans. Yes, they had made great things, but they had not been known for their goodness or mercy.

Robyn was a tad preoccupied when she tapped open a research terminal they found. She was sucked into a memory. It was not a happy memory, but a vision of the end. The end of Protheans, to be more exact. They were fighting the Reapers and losing. Everything was burning chaos. They were filled with anger and despair. It was not a pretty picture and it felt all too familiar. The memory ended and Robyn returned to the reality where Thane was shaking her and looking very worried.

“Siha? Are you alright? What happened?”

“That message took me by surprise, that’s all,” she replied. “I’m fine.”

“You understood that?” Liara asked.

“You didn’t? Oh. It must be my crazy, beacon-induced brain again. No matter, it helped. I have some information about the pod, but I need more.”

They continued onwards. Thane was hovering close to Robyn, looking like he was keeping a close eye on her. He didn’t stray far away even during the fights.

Another console had another memory. It was a continuation to the previous one. They probably belonged to the Prothean in the pod. Poor man. He’d seen his entire civilization fall around him and he was the only one left. Robyn felt sorry for him.

“I’d hate to be him,” Robyn said. “It feels wrong to wake him into this nightmare, but we have no choice. We need every bit of knowledge we can get if we want to beat the Reapers.”

“What did you see?” Liara asked.

“Pain, anger, desperation. What is happening right now,” Robyn said. “Let’s get a move on. Cerberus is bound to send more people in a moment.”

They did. Too bad for Cerberus that their luck was as bad as a Stormtrooper’s aim. As the last Cerberus soldier lay dead on the ground, Robyn went to the pod and opened it.

“Be wary,” Liara said. “He’s been there a long time, but it won’t feel like that to him. He will be disoriented.”

The warning wasn’t for nothing. As soon as the Prothean opened his eyes, he slammed them back with a biotic wave and scrambled out of the pod. He seemed confused and a bit panicked. He looked around, wondering at the big changes that had happened since he closed his eyes.

Robyn decided that he needed a moment. She looked to Thane, who’d flown to his back.

“Are you alright?” she whispered, worried for his stitches. 

“Yes, I’m fine,” he said and got up.

Liara was staring at the Prothean so enthralled that Robyn had to take the next step. She walked slowly forwards, but not too close.

“Hello?”

The Prothean turned to look at her and grabbed her shoulder. She saw another memory of his, the last thing he remembered before waking. When he let go, chills ran through her and she stepped back.

“How many others survived?” he asked. His voice was deep and impressive.

“You are the only one,” Robyn said. “You speak my language?”

“I’ve read your biological structure. It’s easy enough to decipher,” he said and looked at his rescuers. “Human, asari, drell. I’m surrounded by primitives.”

What a cheery traveling companion he’ll make, Robyn thought.

“Will you join us? The Reapers have returned and are trying to destroy all organic life.”

“You fight the Reapers?” he asked.

“Yes. Just like you did.”

“Then we will see.”

Robyn nodded.

“I’ll call for transportation. Welcome aboard the Normandy.”

The Prothean merely stared into the distance. Robyn opened a call to Joker.

“Joker, we need a pickup.”

“Right away, commander,” he replied. “Did you find anything interesting?”

“Meh, just a very pissed off Prothean.”

“What?”

“Life on the Normandy got a lot more interesting, I can tell you that,” Robyn replied and lowered her voice to a whisper. “I don’t think Liara has shut her mouth since he started talking. She’s gone all Prothean fangirl. I believe she’s moments away from squealing and asking him to sign her boobs.”

“Liara the Shadow Broker has gone fangirl?” Joker asked. “I find that hard to believe.”

“You’ll have a chance to see plenty of it,” Robyn said. “He’s coming with us.”

“Excellent. I’ll have the recording equipment ready. I quite like the idea of Liara as a fangirl.”

“I bet you do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liara's researcher persona is very different from the hard Shadow Broker she became after Shepard's death. I've never finished an entire game with Javik in it, so I'm quite looking forward to that. He's strangely amusing.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback :)


	34. Meeting The Primitives

”Shepard, would you come down here? We have an issue.”

“Sure, Liara, I’ll be right over,” Robyn replied. What had already gone wrong? They’d been on the ship for a quarter of an hour.

The problem was clear the moment she opened the door. Their new team mate was on his knees with several guns pointed at his head and Liara looming in the background, looking unamused.

“My knowledge on welcoming proceedings is a little rusty, but this doesn’t seem like the way to say ‘hello’ to the new member of our crew,” Robyn pointed out.

“We are following the protocol concerning new species. It doesn’t hurt to be cautious.”

“Smart,” the Prothean said from the floor.

“But he’s not new,” said Liara, “Protheans have been around longer than any of us.”

“The doctor’s got a point. Plus, we want his help. I think you can forget your protocol and go do something else. Dismissed,” Robyn said.

The soldiers saluted and left. The Protean got up in a manner that was so dignified it seemed inborn. Robyn could almost imagine Liara’s drool dripping on the floor.

“Sorry about that,” said Robyn. “Before finding you, we’d only read about Protheans and seen your legacy. I never thought I’d actually meet one.”

“Our legacy…” he said, sounding bitter. “Why weren’t you prepared for the Reapers? We left warnings!”

“No one could understand your warnings. I got a blast from your beacon and it almost killed me.”

“Show me,” he said, extending his hand.

Robyn took it and saw, once again, the images that had plagued her nightmares for too long.

“Your communication is primitive,” he huffed after letting go of her. “You cannot read your surroundings like we do. Experience leaves a biological marker.”

“Really? Can you tell me something about this room?”

He scowled at her. He was good at that. But then he touched the floor and described Grunt to them. Liara made a little squeal and Robyn had to elbow her into the ribs.

“That’s a useful skill to have,” Robyn said. “If you steer clear of battlegrounds and graveyards.”

“I am a soldier. I belong on the battleground and will end up in the graveyard.”

Robyn glanced at Liara. Her friend had been wrong. They hadn’t spared a politician or a scientist. They’d spared a soldier. Not just any soldier, but this one. He had to be magnificent. She couldn’t wait to see him in action.

Liara cleared her throat. Robyn and the Prothean looked at her.

“I wonder…” she stammered. “Would it be alright if… CanIaskyouafewquestionsIamahugefanI’vewrittenseveralstudiesonProtheans.”

Robyn had never thought she’d see the day, but Liara was blushing.

“I find it amusing that asari have mastered writing,” the Prothean replied. “In my cycle, they were banging rocks together.”

Robyn almost laughed despite herself.

“Still, canIpleaseaskafewquestions?”

“We are dead now. What does it matter?” he said. Robyn raised an eyebrow at him. “But if you insist, ask your questions.”

Liara had lots of questions. The answers were nothing like she’d assumed, Robyn could see that. Yes, the Protheans had had an empire, but it had been more like Rome, less like the ideal dream state Liara had pictured in her head. After the cultural inquiry ceased for a break (poor Liara needed to breath), Robyn asked him about their war against the Reapers. Their tactics had been brutal and Robyn told him so.

“Stand in the ashes of a trillion ghosts and tell me if honor matters,” he said like someone who had done so.

Robyn stopped to think the destruction she’d seen on Earth, on Palaven… Also, Garrus had said something that had stuck with her. “Turians think that if one survivor is left at the end of a war, it was worth it. But humans want to save everyone.” Human history was full of useless wars fought over stupid issues. Those wars could have been left unfought. But not this one. This was different. This wasn’t about lands and riches, this was pure survival. When it came to fighting the Reapers, the Prothean had a point.

“Your silence is an answer,” the Prothean said.

“I admit that a fight against an enemy like the Reapers is about survival,” Robyn conceded.

“It’s good that even primitives can see reason.”

“I understand that we seem primitives to you, but taking that into consideration, you might want to call us by our names. We are so primitive that someone could take offence at being called one,” Robyn pointed out.

“I find it amusing that the most primitive races of my cycle now rule the galaxy,” he said. “Asari, humans, turians…”

“Don’t forget the salarians.”

“The lizard people evolved?”

“I believe they are amphibian,” Liara managed to say at almost regular speed.

“They used to eat flies,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I can see that you’ll find plenty to amuse you in this cycle,” Robyn said dryly. “I hope you’ll like it here. You are fond of calling us primitive, so should we call you ‘the evolved one’ or…?”

He cracked something akin to a smile.

“I am known as Javik.”

\--

Robyn sat on Garrus’ bench, leaned her head against the cool wall, and closed her eyes.

“It went that well, huh?” Garrus asked.

“Politicians make my head hurt.”

“That’s what painkillers were invented for.”

“For regular people, who have to deal with politicians?” Robyn said. “Yeah, I can buy that.”

“Did you get them to agree on anything?”

“Oh, we decided to team up against the Dalatrass in order to cure the genophage.”

“That’s a… Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“How exactly are you going to go about that?”

“You remember Maelon and his research?” Robyn opened her eyes to see Garrus nod. “Well, his cruelty did not go entirely to waste. Three females survived his experiments. They are cured of the genophage. The rub is that the salarians have them in some sort of a secret lab on Sur’Kesh and I need to go and get them. With Wrex.”

“That sounds like a fun trip.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Robyn said and closed her eyes. “You’re off the hook, by the way. I’m going to take James and our new Prothean friend.”

Garrus chuckled.

“You’re taking him to see ‘the lizard people’? Can I please listen to what he says? It could be comedy gold.”

“I think that can be arranged. You can go sit with Joker and have some popcorn ready. Or maybe a drinking game – you could do a shot every time he says ‘primitives’.”

“And you wouldn’t have a problem with your pilot and XO being smashed while you’re on a mission?”

“Valid point. You can record the mission feed and listen to it when you’re on leave,” Robyn suggested.

“I’m not sure I can wait that long. Comedy gold is hard to come by.”

“Not on this ship.”

\--

“Thane.”

Thane looked up from his tea mug. Liara was standing next to the table, looking uncomfortable, which was new. He’d heard many stories about the original Normandy’s crew. In those stories Liara had been a shy scholar, but he’d only known her as the hardened woman who became the Shadow Broker. She didn’t look like the Shadow Broker now.

“Hello, Liara. Would you like to sit down?”

She sat down gingerly.

“You seem troubled. Is there something on your mind?”

“I’m curious. How are things going between you and Shepard?”

Thane was a little surprised. This seemed like something Liara usually asked Shepard, not him.

“They are going well, thank you for asking.”

“You’ve found a way to make it work despite being different species?”

“Yes. We talk. We ask a lot of questions and give each other the benefit of the doubt,” he replied. “There is the occasional cultural misunderstanding, of course, but we make it work.”

“I’m happy to hear that.”

Thane took a sip of his tea. Liara looked like she wanted to ask him something but was lacking the nerve. Thane wasn’t sure whether he should encourage her or to let her make up her own mind. This was more Shepard’s thing. He was used to working alone. Since being on the Normandy, he’d become less of a hermit, but he wouldn’t call himself sociable. He enjoyed being with his siha, but she didn’t need encouragement to speak her mind.

“I wonder…” Liara finally said. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I’m going to ask: how did the two of you get together? How did you communicate to each other, across species, that you were interested?”

“Well… I guess you could say that it happened in time. I don’t know if we would have noticed the mutual interest faster if we were the same species,” he said and thought about it for a while. “When I was fairly sure that she was interested in me, I tried to… ‘Flirt’ may not be the right word, but something to that direction. I was trying to be subtle and she went ahead and said out loud that she’d like to be more than friends.”

“That seems like Shepard,” Liara said. “She’s brave.”

“In many ways,” Thane said and smiled. “I appreciate that about her. And I like that she said it out loud. Being subtle wouldn’t have gotten us anywhere. It would have meant misunderstandings and confusion, maybe leading to disappointment. When she said that she was interested, we were straight on the same page.”

Liara scrutinized him.

“You love her.”

“Yes.”

“I’m glad for you two. Everyone needs a little happiness in times like these,” Liara said. “Thank you for replying my questions.”

“No problem,” Thane said. He felt that there was an underlying reason for this talk but decided against bringing it up. “If there is something I can help you with, it would be my pleasure to oblige.”

“Thank you, Thane. Enjoy your tea.”

Liara left. Thane wondered what, or who, had brought about this little chat. He drained his tea and took the mug to be washed.

“Thane.”

He turned around to face EDI’s mobile platform.

“Hello, EDI.”

“Do you have time to have an ethical discussion with me?”

“Excuse me?”

“When the Collectors attacked, Jeff set me free from the Cerberus protocols binding me. I am no longer obligated to follow the rules they set for me. I am free to make decisions, and Shepard wishes me to continue so. I wish to know about right and wrong, about the meaning of life, about goals, but Jeff won’t talk to me about them,” EDI explained. “I asked Shepard and she promised to discuss them with me. She also suggested that I ask others, to get their point of view, because individuals see morality in different ways. Shepard thought I should learn this, and I agree. She said that I should start with you because you are a very moral person.”

Thane smiled at the AI. Shepard had found a way to help them both. She knew that EDI needed to learn about ethics and that he enjoyed philosophical discussions.

“That sounds like an excellent idea,” he said. “Does the observation deck suit you? I believe it is unoccupied at present.”

“Yes, thank you.”

They headed towards the elevator.

“Is there a particular subject you’d like to start with?”

“Organic life ends in death. It is inevitable and you know it. What makes finite life worth living? Why do you thrive?”

“We find life meaningful, even though it ends. The end makes it precious, not to be wasted,” he replied after some thought.

“What makes life meaningful?” EDI asked when they reached the right floor.

“That is a matter of opinion. You can ask different people and get varying answers. In my opinion it all boils down to happiness. Everyone wants to be happy. Where we differ is what makes us happy. For some it’s love, for others success, adventure, work, fame… When you find out what one values, you know, who that person is.”

“So you believe people are defined by their values?”

“By their actions which are derived from their values.”

\--

“Joker, what are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? Eavesdropping an ethical discussion.”

Robyn sighed.

“That sentence is so… I don’t think I have a word for it. Perhaps irony. Please, stop.”

“Alright,” Joker said and shrugged. “It was getting so civilized that I felt like making a fart joke.”

Robyn covered her face with her hand.

“Sometimes I feel like Javik is right about us.”

“You mean the whole ‘primitive’ business?”

“Yes. He said that in his cycle salarians ate bugs and asari banged rocks together. I’m sort of glad that he didn’t say what humans used to do.”

“Bang each other?” Joker suggested.

“You mean to say that everyone has evolved but us?” Robyn asked. “Man, I hope you’re wrong. There’s something the matter with a species that cannot learn from its own mistakes. Or anyone else’s.”

“Well, at least we came up with bubblegum.”

“That’s what you’re giving us? Our greatest accomplishment: bubblegum?” Robyn asked.

“It’s pretty great, isn’t it?” Joker said. “Let’s hear it, then. What’s your suggestion for the proudest moment of human history?”

“Chocolate.”

“Oh, come on, Shepard. There must be something better. How about… I don’t know, Pictionary?”

“Fine, you go play Pictionary and I’ll have some chocolate.”

“Okay, okay, that wasn’t the best of ideas,” Joker admitted. Then his eyes started to shine. “Now I’ve got it. Even you have to admit it’s better than chocolate.”

“This is going to be dirty, isn’t it?”

“You have such a dirty mind, Shepard. To assume that everything is dirty; shame on you.”

“Most things you say are dirty,” Robyn pointed out.

“And besides, turians are even more sex obsessed than we are. Do you really think that they haven’t come up with everything we have? And asari have centuries to come up with pervy stuff to do.”

“Okay, I give. What’s this great human invention that is even better than chocolate?”

There was an anticipatory silence for effect.

“Coffee,” Joker said triumphantly.

“Amen, brother. Let’s go have some.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's fun to write Liara the fangirl :)
> 
> And I know that many people would not agree on coffee being better than chocolate. I favor coffee but that may be because I'm not much of a chocolate person. Good coffee can save a bad day :)
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback! Enjoy your coffee/chocolate/bubblegum/other favorite human invention ;)


	35. Media Is Terrifying

”He’s new,” Wrex said in the shuttle and nodded at Javik.

“His name is Javik. He’s Prothean,” Robyn said.

“Prothean? Sometimes I’m not sure if the Normandy is a warship or a traveling freak show,” Wrex grunted. “But I don’t care as long as he can hold a gun.”

“Out of the n+1 Prothean soldiers they had, they selected him as the one to preserve for the oncoming empire,” Robyn replied. “I trust they had a reason for doing so.”

Wrex nodded. Robyn could see that he was on edge, and not without reason. If she’d been in the same situation, she’d have been furious.

The salarians were unwilling to let them land. Robyn used the Spectre card but Wrex wasn’t going to wait for permission and jumped off the shuttle. He found himself surrounded by scared salarians with guns. It took some political maneuvering before Robyn managed to defuse the situation.

“Wrex, we are on the salarian homeworld,” she reminded him. “You might want to play it nice in order to get what you want.”

“Hah! The salarian homeworld is the place to get all the treats, like salarian liver. It tastes best raw,” Wrex replied.

“I agree,” Javik commented.

Robyn sighed.

“Remind me to talk to the two of you about political correctness.”

“What is that?” Javik asked.

“This new fancy thing we have in this cycle,” Robyn replied and rolled her eyes. “Wrex, they won’t let you down to the lab, but we’ll get those females.”

“You’d better.”

Robyn, Javik, and James took the elevator down. When the door opened, Robyn found herself face to face with Mordin.

“Mordin! Great to see you!”

“And you, Shepard. Trust you found Thane?”

“Yes, I did. I can’t thank you enough,” she replied with a wide smile. “I’d love to hear more about it, but this is not a social call. I take it that this is the secret project you wouldn’t tell anyone about?”

“Found out about the females Maelon had experimented on. My student, my responsibility. Found them, examined them. Had to be me, someone else might have gotten it wrong,” he said and lowered his voice. “Let the krogan know. Only fair, concerns them.”

“So, you’re Wrex’s inside source,” Robyn said. “Can you take us to the females?”

“They were sick. No immune system. Maelon put them through a lot. Only one survived. Will show you to her. Later, would like to know how you acquired a Prothean.”

“How did you…? Never mind. Please, take us to her.”

As sizeable as the female krogan was, she looked very alone in her dark pod.

“Hello, nice to meet you, I’m Commander Shepard.”

“Are you here to kill me?”

“No. I’m going to take you back to your people,” Robyn replied. “I came here with Urdnot Wrex. He’s anxious to get you to safety.”

The sound the krogan made was a definite snort. Robyn liked her already.

“I bet he is. Why would you help me? What’s in it for you?” the krogan asked.

“Because it’s the right thing to do,” Robyn replied. “The krogan were wronged all those years ago. The genophage has gone on long enough. I have dear friends who are krogan. I feel for them and for you. Curing the genophage is going to give hope for an entire species. We need hope for the future if we intend to kick the Reapers back into whatever asshole they crawled out of.”

Robyn heard James chuckle next to her and even Mordin was smiling. The krogan nodded.

“Let’s begin,” Mordin said.

And then the whole building shook. An alarm went off, people ran around, stuff blew up… The usual things that tended to happen wherever Robyn was. She sighed.

“It’s fucking Cerberus, isn’t it? They have no reason to be here, no reason to be interested in the whole genophage business, but it’s going to be them anyway. Someone should really find the Illusive Man and put him out of his misery. That would save us a shitload of trouble.”

“Easier said than done, Lola,” James replied. “What do we do?”

Robyn suggested that the krogan stay safe, but Wrex didn’t go for that. Her team had to clear the pod and Mordin all the way to the roof while fighting Cerberus each step of the way. While annoying, it gave Robyn a chance to observe Javik in battle. He was admittedly awesome. He was full of rage, which only gave him strength. His biotics were as powerful as an asari’s, maybe even more. When he used them, he was bathed in green instead of the blue that surrounded the biotics Robyn had seen before. Except for the Collectors. Hadn’t they had a green glow to them?

“Commander, you are staring,” Javik said.

“Sorry, I was curious. I’ve never seen a Prothean fight before.”

“All who have are dead. Primitives are so curious,” he said and made a disapproving sound.

“Can you blame us? Before you, we’d only heard stories and seen what was left of your civilization.”

“One day I’ll answer all your questions if that means you’ll stop staring.”

“That sounds like a press conference worth seeing,” Robyn said. “We can discuss that after we take care of this mess. Cerberus is bringing out the big guns.”

“Pendejos!” James cursed and shot at the Atlas. “What are they even doing here?”

“Beats me. If we find a live one after this is over, we can ask him.”

If he can talk, Robyn thought. She remembered what that husk of a person had looked like in the Mars Archives. But they did yell stuff at each other, didn’t they?

The Atlas went down and they got the female out of the pod. She refused help, grabbed Wrex’s shotgun, and blasted the hell out of a charging Cerberus trooper. He fell to the ground and the female shoved the gun back to its owner’s hands. They all headed to the shuttle. Robyn had an appreciative grin on her face. Krogan females were definitely... Well, krogan. No wilting flowers or damsels in distress. She respected that.

\--

Robyn fell into the copilot’s chair.

“Did you have a fun meeting?” Joker asked.

“Bite me.”

“I don’t think Thane would like that. He’d hunt me down and break every bone in my body, even my favorite one.”

“I’m just going to ignore that last part,” Robyn said. “But you’ll be pleased to know that we are on our way of gathering the old gang together since Wrex is staying with us.”

“He is? I thought he was some big ass krogan boss now.”

“He is a big ass krogan boss. That’s why he’s staying. Mordin will use his DNA or tissue or whatever to come up with a cure for the genophage.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

They stared at the planets that were gliding past the window.

“Do you ever think about the future?” Joker asked.

“In a way, sure. I think it helps to remember what we are fighting for. If you give up and stop thinking about the possibility of tomorrow, you stop fighting. If you stop fighting, you lose. This is a war we can’t afford to lose.”

“What does you future look like?”

“Making love, not war.”

“I’ll drink to that.”

“No you won’t, you’re on duty.”

“Fine,” Joker replied. “I’ll drink to that when you give us some shore leave. When would that be?”

“When krogan fly.”

“Shepard…”

“No, I really mean that. When we get the krogan to go and help the turians. We’ve earned some shore leave after achieving that.”

“Damn straight.”

Robyn got up and stretched.

“I should go find my better half,” she said. “EDI, where can I find Thane?”

“He’s in Liara’s office, hiding from Miss Allers.”

Robyn blinked and Joker laughed.

“Er, why is he hiding from her?”

“She wanted to interview him. I believe he found her too forward,” EDI replied.

“I can understand that. Thanks, EDI.”

“No problem, Shepard.”

Robyn took the elevator down. She ran into Allers in the mess.

“Commander,” the reporter said. “I heard your mission was a success. Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

“Have you seen Thane Krios? I’ve been looking for him to get an interview. I’m sure my viewers would love to see him, he’s very media friendly,” she said. “He seemed reluctant when I asked him. Maybe you could persuade him? Tell him how important it is to inspire people to help as much as they can?”

“Ah, I believe you’d better turn to someone else for an interview. We have lots of politicians and high ranking soldiers aboard this ship. It’s their job to deal with media and the public. The opposite could be said about an assassin. Usually people don’t see an assassin unless they are about to die.”

Allers stepped closer and lowered her voice.

“How about a private… Interview, if you know what I mean? With Thane? Would that be possible?”

Robyn took a deep breath.

“I don’t think he’d be amenable to that idea,” she said through clenched teeth. “Excuse me, I need to speak with Liara.”

Robyn left the reporter and went to Liara’s door. She requested entry and stepped through as soon as the door opened. Three pairs of eyes turned towards her. The third belonged to someone she hadn’t seen for a while.

“Feron? When did you get here?”

The drell grinned at her. He came closer, took hold of her hand, and kissed it. Thane followed close by and gave a warning growl, which only made the other drell chuckle.

“I arrived while you were on Sur’Kesh,” Feron replied. “You look as lovely as ever, commander.”

“This is turning into a flirting-themed evening,” Robyn said and turned to Thane. “Did you know that Allers is out there, looking to get you to a ‘private interview, if you know what I mean’?”

“That is why I am here, siha,” he replied. “I intended to use the ventilation shaft to escape her.”

“The famed Thane Krios, using a ventilation shaft to escape a woman?” Feron asked. “Are you losing your edge, Krios?”

“Go on, see for yourself. She’s still out there,” Robyn said and nudged her head towards the door.

“This I have to see,” Feron said and headed out.

“That was unkind of you, Shepard,” Liara said after he’d left.

“He tried to hit on me, she tried to hit on Thane. Maybe they’ll find eternal love in each other’s bosom,” Robyn said and shrugged. “She dresses like she'd be happy to share hers.”

“Goddess…” Liara huffed disapprovingly.

Thane hugged Robyn. He probably sensed that she as a bit pissed off at Allers. She knew that she had no reason to be. The reported clearly didn’t know that Thane was spoken for, how could she? She was new to the ship and hadn’t heard the scuttlebutt yet. They had agreed to be discreet, but sometimes she wished that there was a way to be more open about it. Damned Alliance and their fraternization regs!

“You know what would make me happy, siha?”

“Tell me.”

“Having you straddle me and kiss me while I carry you to our room right past everyone,” Thane said with a twinkle in his eye.

“Don’t tempt me,” Robyn said and gave him a light kiss.

There was a hissing noise as the door opened and Feron hurried in with a put-upon look on his face. He was pale and seemed to need a couple of decent breaths to gather himself.

“Where did you get that she-monster from?” he asked.

Robyn laughed at his expression. Thane seemed amused and Liara shook her head.

“The Citadel. She’s a reporter for the Alliance News Network.”

“Your media is terrifying.”

“Tell me about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and feedback :) Hope you're having a nice autumn. We got our first snow today \o/


	36. Loss And Laughter

“Did you know that Mordin was just trying to set you up with Eve?”

Garrus’ face was worth seeing, exactly as Robyn had predicted. She chuckled at his expression of surprise and horror.

“Why so shocked?” Robyn asked. “You should be lucky to have her. All krogan men would be jealous of you. She’s going to be one popular krogan lady as soon as Mordin finishes the cure.”

“A krogan lady?” Garrus asked in disbelief.

“Alright, calling any krogan ‘a lady’ is a bit of an oxymoron,” Robyn added. “They are not useless society flowers, they actually kick ass.”

“Yeah. And I doubt any krogan would ever take a turian. There are issues.”

“I’d say, ‘that’s ancient history’, but it doesn’t seem to work like that, does it?”

“Not really, no,” Garrus said. “Besides, I’m happy with Tali.”

“I know. How is she?”

“The promotion has been keeping her busy,” he said and leaned against the working station. “It seems the quarians are still planning to go to war with the geth.”

“What? That’s crazy!”

“You know that and I know that but they don’t care,” Garrus said. “They want their home back.”

“Fuck!” Robyn cursed and thumped the wall with her fist. “I thought Tali would be a voice of reason for them, but she’s as blind to the Rannoch issue as the rest of them. Damn. Yes, quarians are pretty, but sometimes I want to bang their stupid heads against each other.”

“I know what you mean,” Garrus said. “But back to the krogan. I take it that you had a talk with the female. What was she like?”

Robyn thought about it for a while.

“She was tough,” she summed up. “She’s seen loss for too long but hasn’t given up. She is in no way one of those cheery people you want to punch as soon as you hear them talk, but she isn’t a defeatist. I guess you could call her a krogan optimist.”

“Krogan optimism? What’s that like?”

“Well, she’s a shaman. She shared a few thoughts that stuck with me,” Robyn said and tried to remember some of the things Eve had said. “‘Wisdom comes from pain. The genophage has made us very wise.’ ‘When my child didn’t draw a breath, that’s when my life truly began.’ And what was that last one… Oh, yes, ‘It only takes one candle to light the flame. Then the darkness is no more.’”

Garrus nodded.

“Krogan optimism is dark, but it fits with how things now stand,” he said.

“Isn’t that the truth,” Robyn said and sighed.

\--

Robyn, Garrus, and EDI sat in the shuttle on their way to Tuchanka. Robyn was practically growling.

“Easy there, Shepard,” Garrus said.

“How much trouble would I be in if I kicked the Primarch to the balls?” Robyn asked.

“That would not be construed as a politically advisable move, Shepard,” EDI replied.

“And it wouldn’t do any good. You’d hit his plates, nothing soft,” Garrus pointed out.

“Fine, I’ll think of something else,” Robyn grumbled. “Why do all politicians have to be tight as a duck’s arse? Why can’t they say, ‘We’re all in this mess together, so cards on the table, we fucked up and need you to fix it’? But nooooo, he can’t tell me because it concerns galactic peace and what I’m trying to achieve has nothing to do with that, I guess.”

They hopped out of the shuttle and contacted Lieutenant Victus. It was evident that the platoon was in a tight spot and needed help desperately.

“Let’s help these lads out,” Robyn said. “I’ll be sure to give the Primarch some constructive criticism later.”

The terrain of Tuchanka was as depressing as Robyn remembered it. They saw nothing but ruins and wreckage. Plus Reapers and dead turians, neither of which was a pretty sight. They had to lay waste to a mass of Reaper grunts and even a couple of Harvesters to get to the platoon.

The whole business was a mess. The lieutenant had made a critical error in judgement and his men had paid for it. He was talking about abandoning the mission. When Robyn asked about it, he told that they were supposed to defuse a giant bomb that Cerberus now had their hands on. If it went off, it could take out a lot of people.

“You have a mission like that and you’re talking about quitting?” Robyn asked and stepped into the lieutenant’s space.

“What are we supposed to do? Only and handful of us survives, it would be suicide! I can’t ask my men to do something like that.”

“I’m sorry, I thought I was talking to a turian soldier and a commanding officer at that,” Robyn said. “You know as well as I do that we can’t let that bomb go off. If anyone is to survive the war with the Reapers, we need to work together. There is no chance of peace if that bomb explodes. You are the commanding officer; it’s your job to make these men see the necessity of their mission.”

“You’re right,” the younger Victus admitted and proceeded to give his platoon a rousing speech on duty and the turian way.

Robyn nodded approvingly. They set up a meeting for later, giving the turians a chance to do some recon. Robyn and her team went back to the Normandy. Robyn reported to Hackett who told her to lean on the Primarch. She tried, but to no avail. He was adamant to play his cards close to his chest. He did thank her for saving his son.

\--

“So, tell me about this big ass Cerberus bomb,” Robyn said to Lieutenant Victus.

“It’s not Cerberus, it’s… turian.”

“What the fuck?”

“It was planted hundreds of years ago, right after the war… just in case,” the uncomfortable looking lieutenant said.

“No wonder krogans have trouble trusting anyone,” Robyn said. “I know I wouldn’t.”

“It was a backup plan after the war was still fresh on everyone’s mind,” Liara said. “But still…”

“No better defense than an effective offense?” Thane said.

“The bomb was buried, but Cerberus brought equipment to dig it up,” the lieutenant said.

“Of course they did,” Robyn said and shook her head. “I should really give up on trying to find some logic in their actions, shouldn’t I?”

“I haven’t been able to find out what their goal is,” Liara said. “Feron has gathered a massive amount of information about them but their endgame is yet to make itself known.”

“Well, cyphering those clues will have to wait. It’s time to kick some Cerberus ass. Are you ready?”

“We’ll be right behind you, siha,” Thane replied.

“You’re just saying that because you like staring at my ass,” Robyn said and jumped out of the shuttle, laughing.

Cerberus were determined to see the bomb go off. They had sent loads of soldiers to see that it happened. Not enough, though. Through the effectiveness of Robyn and her team and the sacrifice of Tarquin Victus the detonation was prevented.

“He died a warrior’s death,” Liara said.

“I don’t know, Liara. Nobody dies well. I’m tired of saying that they do,” Robyn sighed. “I hate losing people, but it’s not going to get any easier. I know that we’ll lose many more before this war is over.”

Thane took her hand and squeezed it. She was happy that he didn’t say anything. Too few people knew how to be silent when there was nothing to say. The fact that Thane was one of them was one more reason to love him.

“Let’s get back to the Normandy,” Robyn said. “I have a feeling there will be one ballistic krogan there for me to deal with.”

\--

Robyn sighed and looked at Wrex’s receding back. He was still mad, but she’d been able to talk some sense into him and Victus. They couldn’t afford to open old wounds when there were so many new ones that were hemorrhaging.

Robyn felt bad for Victus. Yes, she was pissed that he hadn’t been upfront and honest about the bomb but he’d paid for it, more than any parent should. He’d said that any father would be proud to have their son’s sacrifice remembered in the annals of the Ninth Platoon, but Robyn knew that, in his heart of hearts, he would much rather have his son alive and breathing than his name on some ledger no one ever read.

“EDI, where is Victus now?”

“On the crew deck, in the room Miss Goto used to inhabit,” EDI replied.

“Thank you.”

Robyn took the elevator down and walked to the door. She asked to be let in and the door opened. Victus was standing next to the window. He’d clearly been staring into space before she came.

“I’m sorry to barge in, Primarch. I promise not to bother you for long,” Robyn said. “I merely came to say that if you need anything, you only need to ask. I’m not familiar with how turians deal with grief, but if we can help, we’ll try.”

He looked a little surprised.

“Thank you, commander.”

“Don’t mention it,” she replied. “I’m sorry for your loss. I’ll leave you be.”

Robyn turned to leave, but a sound from Victus made her stop.

“I… I’m hesitant to ask, but since you offered… Would it be too much to ask you to stay for a while?”

She studied his features. He looked mournful, almost broken. Robyn understood it. He was a soldier who had been given much more to bear than he had signed up for. He was alone on an alien ship with no one he could turn to and he’d just lost his son.

“I can do that,” she said.

She crossed the room and stopped to stand on the opposite side of the window. He nodded at her and they both stared into space in silence, remembering all the loved ones they’d lost.

\--

“Lola!”

Robyn was shaken out of her thoughts and looked up. Some members of the crew were sitting in the mess, playing cards. James gave her a wave to come and join them. She made her way to the table to see what they were playing.

“Skyllian five?”

“Yeah,” James replied. “You should get in on it. I could use a little more credits for the shore leave.”

“It doesn’t look like you’re coining it in as it is,” Robyn said, looking at the minuscule pile of chips in front of him.

“He’s taking a beating more like it,” Adams said with a grin. His earnings were much more impressive.

“I’m biding my time,” James said. “Lulling you into feeling all comfortable and lazy for when I strike.”

“Then you’d better strike fast before you run completely out of credits,” Garrus pointed out. “And Shepard joining in would do nothing to change the situation. She’s way too lucky.”

“Luck has nothing to do with it, my friend,” Robyn said and sat down next to him. “Besides, Joker keeps telling me that I’m jinxed.”

“Why?” Feron asked.

“Because of all the weird shit she gets into,” Garrus replied. “You wouldn’t believe some of the things we’ve seen.”

“Try me.”

“Okay,” Garrus said. “There was this mind-controlling plant that had taken an entire colony hostage and made them its minions. We went there to help them but they attacked us. Shepard wouldn’t let us kill them, so we had to punch their lights out. To take the plant out we had to fight through the asari clones it kept producing. The last one melded with Shepard. It was creepy.”

“Creepy is the right word,” Robyn agreed and shivered.

“I don’t know,” James said. “I’m sure I could use a plant that makes asari clones.”

“Ones that are trying to kill you?” Robyn asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I see your point.”

“A nice little story,” Feron admitted. “But that’s nothing compared to some of the ones I could tell you. Being an agent of the Shadow Broker isn’t all fun and games but at least I’ve got stories that don’t make you yawn.”

“Let’s have it then,” Garrus said. “Tell us one of these stories that we can judge for ourselves if it is anything as weird as the shit that keeps happening around Shepard.”

Feron grinned.

“Have you, by any chance, heard of The Biotic God?”

“Er… I distinctly remember someone saying those words but I’m sincerely hoping that we’re not talking about the same person,” Robyn said.

“Yes, we are,” Feron said and his grin widened. “A volus called Disan Fer was kidnapped by the Blue Suns and pumped full of some experimental medical agent. It enhanced his biotics but made him utterly insane. I believe you met him?”

Robyn rolled her eyes.

“He was barely standing, talking about the Great Wind and being a biotic god,” she said and caused some sniggering. “I knocked him out to keep him safe. I figured his head would clear and that would be the end of the story.”

“Well, it didn’t clear out,” Feron said. “When he came to, he went on believing all the visions the meds had made him see. He thought that his visions meant that he was not just a biotic god, but The Biotic God, made so to preach about empowerment through meds. He taught that everyone can hear the Great Wind with the right medication, and that will make them biotic gods.”

“I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry,” Robyn said.

“That is priceless, dude,” James said. He’d opted for laughing. “How did you hear about him? Did he have any followers?”

“As a matter a fact, he did. Not many in the grand scheme of things, but a few,” Feron replied. “They had a loft in Nos Astra because they wanted to be as close to the sky as possible so that they’d be the first to go when the Great Wind blew.”

“Please, tell me that they didn’t all get jacked up on that same shit he did?” Robyn pleaded.

“Don’t worry, they didn’t,” Feron said. “Their Biotic God was so full of his Great Wind that he didn’t pay much attention to details. To him all meds were the same. So he fed his followers vitamin pills.”

“You’re shitting me,” James said.

“I shit you not. Vitamins were the cheapest pills they could get their hands on. Since they were broke and it didn’t matter anyway, why not get them? All meds are a way to communication with the Great Wind.”

“Why did they attract the interest of the Shadow Broker?” Garrus asked. “It doesn’t sound like they had anything of value.”

“It just so happens that their Biotic God is the son of a very high official. His career as a self-proclaimed god was really messing with her reputation. She paid the Broker good money to get him out of there and into a good facility. It was my job to make that happen. I had to go to their loft and take their biotic god away.”

“They weren’t pleased?” Adams asked.

“No, there were not,” Feron said. “That was hands down the weirdest fight of my life. And when I say ‘fight’, I’m using the word loosely. None of them knew how to fight; they just kept pelting me with vitamin pills and pill bottles. In addition to that, they had set medigel traps.”

There was general laughter at this point.

“What on earth are medigel traps?” Robyn asked.

“Large portions of the floor were coated with it. And there was one member of the group sitting on a bookcase, waiting to pour an entire container of it on me,” Feron explained.

“Why?” Garrus managed to ask between bursts of laughter.

“They wanted me to be affected by it in order for me to hear the Great Wind and become one of them.”

Robyn had to brush a tear of laughter off her eye. The mental image was hilarious.

“What happened next?” James asked.

“By the end of it I was covered in medigel and vitamin pills that had stuck on it,” Feron said, bringing forth another burst of laughter. “Needless to say that I had to get new leathers after that.”

“Do you have a holo? Please, tell me that you have a holo, man!” James enthused.

“I’m sure Liara has one,” Feron said. “Anyway, I get to The Biotic God. He looks up at me and stops wheezing for a while. ‘Oh, Great Wind,’ he says, ‘You’ve come to take me.’ Then he keels over, just like that. His followers look at me in wonder. ‘I’ll take him and be off. Live well and prosper. And stop eating pills that you don’t need,’ I tell them and leave with the volus. He’s now safe and sound in an institute where he gets actual help.”

“A happy ending to a very strange story,” Robyn said. “I think we should all go see Liara about that holo.”

“Seconded!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when the story I've played runs out before the pages do...
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback :)


	37. Waiting for Dessert

”Shepard, you okay?”

Robyn had been leaning her head against the wall of the shuttle. She opened her eyes and looked at James.

“I will be. That was just… messed up,” she said. “Those eggs sounded like popcorn when I fried them.”

“Ugh, thanks for that image,” James answered and made a face.

“Grunt, you good?” Robyn asked.

“Pissed off and hungry,” Grunt replied.

“You did good,” she said. “I’m proud of you. You really let those Reapers have it.”

“Hee, hee, hee.”

Robyn tried to shut out of her mind the image of Grunt charging at a horde of modified rachni. Her little baby krogan… She could have lost him. Because of the damn Reapers.

“Why did you save the queen?” Javik asked. He looked displeased, but that was nothing new.

“You said it yourself – the rachni are formidable opponents. They are not to be sneered at. Instead of fighting them we can now fight with them as allies. How would it have been better to let her die?”

“You cannot trust the rachni,” Javik said and Grunt nodded.

“I can’t trust them to fight for their existence?”

“She has a point,” James said. “Sooner or later everyone’ll have to fight if they want to survive this war.”

Javik looked thoughtful for a while and nodded eventually.

\--

Robyn was surprised by how laid-back Wrex was about the rachni issue. He was satisfied that the matter was resolved and merely pointed out that it would be on Robyn if the rachni caused more problems.

“I know,” she replied. “I’m glad we got Grunt back.”

“He has a few scars, but that won’t slow him down for long,” Wrex said. “I miss going to ground. There’s a war going and I’m stuck on this ship, trying not to rip into those useless whelps who call themselves politicians.”

“I get that,” Robyn replied. “I at least can do both.”

Wrex’s grumbling gave Robyn an idea.

“Why are you smiling, Shepard? You find this amusing?”

“No, not at all. I just thought of something else.”

“If you want to fantasize about your drell, you can do that somewhere else.”

“This wasn’t about him. I’ll tell you later.”

“I can’t wait,” Wrex said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Has Mordin said anything about his progress?” Robyn changed the subject.

“Yeah, he says the cure should be ready in a matter of days,” Wrex replied.

“He did his tests on you?”

Wrex grimaced.

“He used a scalpel on someplace that should never see a scalpel,” he replied.

“That… is a mental image I could have lived without,” Robyn said and tried to push the visual away from her mind. “It would make sense to be near Tuchanka that we’d be ready for action as soon as the cure is finished.”

“I agree. Are we going straight there?”

“I think we’ll make a stop at the Citadel, have a little shore leave, and then head to Tuchanka.”

“I could use a drink,” Wrex said with a grin.

“Just one?”

“Fine, many drinks.”

“Good to see that being a politician hasn’t changed you too much,” Robyn commented.

“I can still drink you under the table.”

“That has never been proven,” Robyn said. “Need I remind you that I have been surgically enhanced? I have been given powers. My body is a machine.”

“You can talk all you want, Shepard, it doesn’t make it true. I’m going to beat you,” Wrex said with a glint in his eye.

“I’ll take that bet… But not yet. You are a politician, I am responsible for my ship and crew. I can’t get hammered during a shore leave, that would be irresponsible,” Robyn said and sighed. “But once this war is over, you’re on.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Shepard,” Wrex said. “Keep walking now, I have work to do.”

“Catch you later, Wrex.”

\--

“Attention crew, this is Commander Shepard. We’re arriving at the Citadel. As soon as the doors open the shore leave will begin. Everyone must be present and sober tomorrow at 1600 hours ship time. Anyone who gets into trouble and disturbs my shore leave will be subjected to disciplinary action and kicked in the shin. Have fun. Shepard out,” Robyn said and cut the transmission.

“What would you like to do on shore leave?” Thane asked.

“Have a proper meal,” Robyn replied. “How about you?”

“I… I would like to visit the temple, if you don’t mind,” he replied, looking a little uneasy.

“Of course I don’t mind, why would I? I didn’t know that there is a drell temple on the Citadel.”

“It’s very small.”

“Okay, how about this – you go to the temple and stay as long as you like. I’ll go check us in the hotel and do the necessary shopping. When you’re ready, we’ll meet for a proper meal with actual food,” Robyn said with a dreamy smile.

Thane laughed at her.

“You look like you do when we make love,” he said. “Does this mean that I should be jealous of food or that I should get you actual food more often?”

“The latter, definitely the latter.”

They kissed before heading towards the elevator. Robyn grabbed the bag that contained their overnight stuff. They exited the Normandy and took cabs to their separate destinations.

The hotel was nothing special or luxurious. It had the essentials, i.e. a soft bed and no one they knew behind the wall. Robyn smiled, tossed the bag on a chair and crawled into the bed. It was soft and warm and so welcoming. She shut her eyes for just a moment.

“Siha.”

Robyn opened her bleary eyes. Thane’s face was a breath away from hers.

“Er,” she said, her voice a little rough. “I thought you were going to the temple.”

“I did go to the temple,” he said. “That was two hours ago. I’ve been trying to call you, but you didn’t answer. The desk gave me the key to come and see if something had happened to you.”

“I’ve slept for two hours?”

“Yes,” he said. “And you look adorable.”

“I was supposed to get things done. I was supposed to buy stuff and get us a reservation.”

“I got us a reservation,” Thane replied. “And it’s soon. That’s the only thing keeping me from ripping your clothes off and taking you.”

Robyn felt the blush creep on her cheeks.

“Can’t we push it back?”

“All good things to those who wait, siha,” Thane purred. “Do you want to change?”

“Yes, give me a moment.”

Robyn got up and looked around for the overnight bag. She grabbed it and went into the bathroom to prepare.

“Okay, I’m ready, let’s go,” she said as she stepped out.

Thane looked at her and his eyes started to burn. He looked hungry, but the dinner was not what he was hungry for. He was purring.

“I thought you didn’t like that dress,” he said. His voice sounded like it was getting stuck on something on the way out.

“I don’t, but I like it that you like it,” she said and did a slow turn, making sure that he got a good look of how the tight dress hugged her figure.

Thane got up and made his way to her, like a predator stalking his prey.

“We could make another reservation,” he said as he placed his hands on her hips.

“I don’t think so, Sere Krios,” she replied. “I’m hungry and I want to eat something besides ship food. Come along.”

“You are cruel, siha.”

“Tough love, honey. My mom always told me that you need to have proper food before dessert.”

“I don’t think that this is what she meant.”

\--

Robyn didn’t remember much of the dinner date afterwards. She remembered that there had been a restaurant and that the food had been good, though any non-ship food would have tasted good. What she remembered most of all was the feeling of Thane’s eyes on her. The feeling of his hand on her thigh, his foot caressing hers, his fingers entwined with hers. It was the pleasure of expectation, the thrill of foreplay. She was certain that her nipples were visible through the sheer fabric of her dress, but she didn’t care. She enjoyed the effect she had on Thane. The usually cool drell was just as wired as she was. He had trouble keeping his purring in check. He’d growled at the male waiter who’d stared at her a little too long.

Everything was perfect. She’d just asked for the check when her omnitool beeped.

“Oh, fuck!” Robyn swore and answered the call. “This better be important, Garrus, I was just about to get laid!”

“Er… Sorry about that, Shepard, but you need to bust Javik out of jail.”

“What? How did he…? Why is he even…? What the fuck?”

“Wrex talked him into going to the bar with us. I don’t know how but he got into a bad fight with batarians and was taken into custody. They would have let him go, but they have some regs about unknown species and they’ve locked him up,” Garrus explained.

“Of course they have,” she said tiredly. “I’m on my way.”

“You don’t have to go right now, siha,” Thane said. “They won’t hurt him. He might learn a thing or two about ‘primitives’.”

“I can’t leave him in jail,” she said. “I am so sorry, honey. I will meet you at the hotel as soon as I can. Then we can have our dessert.”

\--

Thane shut the hotel room door. He shook his jacket off and placed it on the chair before sitting down on the floor to meditate.

It wasn’t easy being the lover of Commander Shepard. It would have been easier if all he wanted was casual sex. The problem was that he wanted more. He wanted all of it, all of her. When they got together, there was no knowing what would happen; he’d been a dying man and they’d both been on a suicide mission. Things were different now. He’d been cured and they’d survived the mission, though the current one didn’t have any higher probability of success.

The current mission was the problem. He didn’t like what it did to her. It took all her energy and all her time. It made her unhappy. It endangered her life again and again. People made her take responsibility of choices no single person should be forced to make. She bore it all like the siha she was, but it made Thane angry. Sometimes he just wanted to tell the world to go pleasure itself and leave his siha alone.

Thane knew that he was being selfish, but he wanted more time with her. He needed more time with her. He needed to feel her in his arms and see how much she longed to be there. He needed her to need him. Yes, they slept in each other’s arms every night, but lately that had seemed like the only time they had together, those too few hours spent in dead sleep. Because the world was not aware of their relationship, they had to keep their distance on the ship and when they went to ground. He understood it, but he didn’t like it.

It was long into the night when he finally heard the door open. She came to sit next to him and leaned her head against his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“It’s not your fault, siha.”

“But you’re mad.”

“Not at you. Never at you.”

“Never say never,” she replied and kissed his cheek. “But I’m still sorry that we had to postpone our dessert because of my stupid crew. I don’t know if this will cheer you up or not, but I did kick both Javik and Garrus in the shin.”

Thane smiled despite himself.

“Siha, you know that this will happen again.”

She sighed.

“I know. I don’t see an end to this as long as the war goes on.”

“I would like you to consider something,” Thane said.

“Alright. What is it?”

“Could we go public? About our relationship? I don’t mean galaxy wide, just on the ship,” he said. “I… I know I’m being selfish, but I want more time with you. I want to be able to hug you when I see that you are sad. I want to be able to touch you without looking around for witnesses.”

“I’ll need to think about this,” she said. “I’m still Alliance and they have regs about this sort of thing. And I’m the commander.”

“Not tonight,” Thane said with determination.

“Huh?”

Thane got up and stared down at Shepard. 

“Get up.”

She looked confused for a moment before she caught on. He eyes went wide and black. Thane purred. She obeyed his command and got up.

“Turn around and walk towards the bed,” he said sternly. “Now stop. Open the zipper of your dress. Slowly. Good. Drop it.”

Looking at her made him so hard he had to undo his trousers. He took them and his shoes off while he was at it.

“Take your shoes off.”

He growled when he watched her bend down to undo her shoes. She straightened her back slowly and stepped away from her heels.

“Get on the bed and crawl forward until you reach the pillow.”

He kept purring as he looked at her movements. Her muscles moved under her pale skin. The contours of her ass and sex were mouthwatering. He followed her to the bed and positioned himself behind her. He ripped her panties and threw them away. His cock was just at her opening, ready and waiting. He could smell and feel her excitement. He breathing was shallow and she was shaking with anticipation. She looked him in the eye over her shoulder. There was such a need in her gaze that it lit him on fire.

“Stay still,” he said and pushed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading an feedback :)


	38. Kicking Some Cerberus Ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. I had to work through the weekend.

Robyn was whistling when she returned to the Normandy. Despite the interruption her crew had caused her shore leave had been amazing. She’d eaten real food, she’d managed to get the shopping done, and the sex… Oh, the sex…

“Siha.”

Robyn stopped in front of the door and looked at Thane.

“Will you consider my proposal? About informing the crew of our relationship?”

Thane looked solemn. Robyn glanced around and since there was no one to see she took his hand and squeezed it.

“I will,” she promised. “Do you understand why I need to think about it even though I want to be honest about our relationship?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you. And thank you for the shore leave. It was fantastic because of you.”

“Anything including you seems fantastic to me,” he replied and added with a wicked glint in his eye, “Especially if you’re naked.”

Robyn blushed and smiled. They stepped into the Normandy. Thane took their bag to their cabin and Robyn went into the CIC.

“You look like the cat that ate the canary,” Specialist Traynor commented when she saw her grin.

“For a good reason,” Robyn replied. “How was your shore leave?”

“Expensive,” Traynor replied and winced. “I bought myself a proper toothbrush.”

“And spent the rest of the time using it?”

“Not quite.”

“I hope you’ll enjoy it,” Robyn said. “Has everyone returned?”

“Yes, after hearing about Javik and Garrus they seem to have taken your threat seriously,” Traynor replied.

“Speaking of whom – where can I find Javik?”

“I believe he’s in his room.”

“Okay, thanks. I need a word with him.”

Robyn took the elevator down and went to see Javik. He was indeed in his room, sulking.

“Commander,” he acknowledged her presence.

“Hello again, Javik. How are you?”

“Angry.”

“Ah,” she stated. She was not surprised. “Could you tell me what happened last night? I’m curious as to how you went from sulking on the Normandy to sulking in a cell.”

“I do not sulk,” Javik replied, sulkily.

“Whatever you say,” Robyn said with a raised eyebrow. “Garrus mentioned that Wrex talked you into going to the bar and that you got into a fight with batarians? How did that happen?”

“The krogan and I happened upon each other in the mess hall at mealtime. He told me that I should come see some of the good things this cycle has to offer. Maybe primitive curiosity has rubbed off on me because I conceded. The bar was noisy and full of inebriated and lustful primitives. I said this aloud to Wrex who agreed. A nearby batarian heard my statement and took offence. He demanded that I apologize. I refused to apologize for speaking the truth and pointed out that batarians were living under the ground in my cycle – if you could call it living what they did. He and his fellow primitives were upset.”

“Gee, I wonder why.”

“You are being sarcastic.”

“Good catch, Sherlock,” Robyn said and rolled her eyes. “I have said this before: the primitives that we are, we take offence at being called that. Especially drunk, angry ones.”

Javik snorted. Robyn understood that he was from a very different reality, but he was here now. He needed to adjust if he wanted to survive.

“Say, do you have any breakables in this room?” Robyn asked and looked around the empty space.

“Hardly any,” he replied. “Why?”

“EDI, could you bring your mobile platform and Wrex here, please? Tell him it’s important.”

“Alright, Shepard,” EDI replied.

“Why are they coming here?”

“You’ll see.”

The door opened to let in EDI and Wrex.

“Why are we here, Shepard? What’s so important?” Wrex asked.

Robyn put her hands behind her back and began to walk around the room slowly, circling towards the door.

“You may remember something I mentioned on Sur’Kesh,” she said. “I have a great deal of respect for you, don’t forget that. The problem is that we are on a multi-racial ship, performing a demanding task that aims to unite all races. If we want to succeed, we need to play nice. That includes the two of you. As of this moment, you are under compulsory education. It takes place in this room. Neither of you will be allowed to leave until you finish it. And neither of you will be allowed on mission until you finish it. EDI, seal the door after me.”

Robyn stepped out of the door and it shut behind her.

“EDI, patch me through to the PA in that room, please,” Robyn said and continued her instructions, “EDI will educate you on political correctness. She will decide when you have the necessary amount of PC to re-enter society. She is allowed to use necessary amount of force or bribing to make you learn. EDI, you can consult me if need be. Wrex, Javik, I don’t want to hear any excuses or whining. This isn’t a big deal and you both can do this. It will improve the quality of your life and hopefully teach you to treat others with respect. I’ll see you later. Shepard out.”

Robyn went to the mess, took some coffee, and sat down to read her mail. Garrus joined her.

“How was your shore leave?” he asked.

“Great, despite certain events,” she answere. “And yours?”

“It was nice to get proper food and a good night’s sleep,” he said. “How are you going to handle Javik?”

“I locked him and Wrex in a room with EDI and told her to educate them on political correctness.”

Garrus laughed.

“Good one, Shepard. No, really, what are you going to do?”

“I wasn’t joking, Garrus. They are locked in Javik’s room as we speak, possibly discussing the proper ways to address salarians or beating the crap out of each other.”

Garrus stared at her.

“You locked the leader of the krogan and the last living Prothean in a room with an android to teach them to be politically correct?”

“Yes,” Robyn stated levelly and took a sip of her beverage.

“And you’re not afraid of the fallback this move might cause?” 

“Who’s going to find out?” Robyn asked. “We both know they need the education. They can’t hurt EDI, but she will teach them to respect synthetics as well as the other races. Wrex won’t complain to anyone because he’s Wrex and he has been itching to fight someone. And he knows that he needs this. He is good at playing the krogan stereotype but he’s smarter than that. He knows that we need to work together.”

“What about Javik? Aren’t you afraid that he’ll refuse to help?”

“Not for a moment. He isn’t sensitive, but he is bright enough to realize that things are different in this cycle. He wants to beat the Reapers as bad as we do. As a capable soldier he understands that situations change and one needs to adapt to win. He is a vengeful man, but not an illogical one.”

“You’ve thought about this, haven’t you?” Garrus said.

“Not really. It was an intuitive decision, but the more I think about it the more logical it seems to me,” Robyn replied. “I’ve learned to trust my intuition, Garrus. It often has more sense than I do.”

\--

After her coffee Robyn went to check the situation. She stood outside of Javik’s room and listened. There was banging and crashing, some yelling.

“Oh, the sounds of compulsory educations,” Robyn said to herself and continued her way to engineering.

“Is everything alright over there?” Adams asked. “The noises are disconcerting.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Robyn said. “What you hear is a couple of tough guys meeting reality.”

Adams shivered.

“It sounds unpleasant.”

Robyn shrugged. “I imagine repairing an engine sounds unpleasant to some people.”

“To most people,” Adams replied and cracked a smile. “Whenever I tell someone that I’m an engineer, they either tell me that they used to hate math or that they are an engineer too.”

“I can imagine that.”

\--

“Shepard. The education had been completed to my satisfaction,” EDI informed Robyn.

“Thank you, EDI, I really appreciate this. You can let them out and tell them to take it easy,” she replied. “How are they?”

“A little angry, a little bruised, but capable of being somewhat politically correct if they have a mind to.”

“I can’t ask for more than that,” Robyn answered. “When do we reach Tuchanka?”

“In the morning.”

“Great, thanks. Good night, EDI.”

“Night, Shepard.”

Robyn leaned back in the bed. Thane pulled her closer and let out a happy humming sound that made her smile.

“You keep surprising me, siha,” he said. “I would never have thought of doing anything like that.”

“That’s because you plan stuff whereas I just wing it and hope for the best.”

“It works for you.”

“Time will tell,” Robyn replied. “I’ll see in the morning how pissed off they are. Right now I don’t want anything else but to sleep in your arms.”

“Works for me,” he said and kissed her ear. “Good night.”

“Good night, honey.”

\--

“Primarch, Wrex, could I have a moment of your time, please?”

“I don’t know, Shepard,” Wrex said. “I’m still regretting the last time I consented to your request.”

“This will be different, I promise.”

“It’d better.”

“I’ll hear you out,” Victus said.

Robyn waved them to come with her to the conference room.

“Gentlemen, we have a situation,” Robyn said and took out a blueprint. “This is a military facility on Tuchanka. As you can see, it houses massive cannons. I’m guessing that this is why it has attracted the interest of Cerberus. They are trying to take it over and activate the cannons. If they do, they gain a sizeable advantage because of the location of the facility. We need to go and stop them.”

“Certainly, but why are you telling us?” Victus said. “This is important, but not important enough to involve us. Can’t your team handle it?”

“I believe we can. We are going to ground as soon as we can,” Robyn replied. “I’m telling you this because you two are going to be my team for this mission.”

“What?” Wrex asked.

“You can’t be serious,” Victus said. “This isn’t what we do.”

Robyn looked at them.

“I know for a fact that the both of you miss being on the ground, in the thick of action. You are soldiers, not stuffy politicians. I know it hurts to be stuck on this ship, regardless of how necessary it is. You deserve a break, doing what you do best. Can you honestly tell me that I’m wrong?”

The men remained quiet.

“I thought so,” Robyn said. “This is not a risky mission, so I have every faith in bringing you safely back to continue your political careers. I won’t force you to go, but I’m giving you the opportunity to blow off some steam and to kick some Cerberus ass. Cerberus has screwed you both over – this is your chance to screw them right back. Are you with me?”

Wrex let out a booming laugh.

“You bet your ass, Shepard. I can’t wait to bash in some skulls.”

“That’s the spirit, Wrex,” she said. “How about you, Victus? Do you want to have some fun?”

“Or has the political life already softened you, turian? Afraid of losing your touch?” Wrex bated him.

Victus was silent for a moment. He was probably having an inner debate. Robyn knew that he’d lost the moment his stance relaxed.

“I’d be happy to assist you with this mission, Commander Shepard.”

\--

Robyn tried to hold her laugh back in the shuttle. The two politicians were excited like green recruits who were going to their first battle. 

When they got into the facility, it was obvious that Cerberus had managed to activate the cannons.

“What’s the game plan, Shepard?” Victus asked.

“We need to find the controls and dispatch with any Cerberus on the way. You two can scout ahead, I’ll cover your backs.”

Robyn didn’t need to say more. Cerberus attacked them right away which saved them the trouble of having to go look for some enemies. Wrex and Victus went at them with such eagerness and energy that none were left for Robyn. She watched them eviscerate their opponents. Wrex was impressive and aggressive as always. He charged the troopers and put them down with his shotgun or fists, his laugh echoing in the space. Victus was agile and effective. He popped in and out of cover and laid down any and every enemy with scant and precise shots.

The mission wasn’t as straightforward as it had seemed at first. It wasn’t enough to get to the controls. They needed to overcome a few other hurdles, but nothing major. It only served to give them the opportunity to kick some more Cerberus ass and it was glorious.

“That should do it,” Robyn said. “The cannons are operational.”

“No more Cerberus?” Wrex asked with the same tone of voice Robyn would have used to ask if there was no more candy left.

“Maybe we should stick around, they could try to retake the facility,” Victus suggested hopefully.

“I’m sorry guys, but this is it. I’ll call for transport,” Robyn said. “If you want, we can do this again some time. There are bound to be more Cerberus goons who need to be taught a lesson. Or to have their skulls bashed in.”

“What are you looking at me for?” Wrex asked.

“You might want to practice your look of faked innocence, Wrex,” Robyn said. “I saw you.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Shepard,” Wrex said. “Besides, I’m not the one who took a gun to that guy’s quads.”

“He was too close, I couldn’t aim,” Victus defended himself halfheartedly.

“I get it,” Robyn replied. “If a Cerberus goon thrust his balls at my face, I’d shoot them too.”

The shuttle landed and they got in.

“By the way, great work, both of you. I can see why you’ve risen to the station you now possess. It was a pleasure to work with you,” Robyn said.

“And you,” Victus said. “Both.”

“Right back at you,” Wrex replied.

Robyn smiled. What centuries of enmity could rip apart a common enemy could bring together. There were advantages to kicking Cerberus ass.

“Would you two join me for a drink?” Robyn suggested. “After that you can return to your duties.”

“I won’t say no to alcohol,” Wrex replied.

“Why not,” Victus agreed.

After they’d reached the Normandy and changed, they went into the observatory. Robyn poured them all a drink.

“I suggest a toast to our successful mission,” Robyn said and raised her glass. “To kicking some Cerberus ass!”

“I’ll drink to that,” Victus said and raised his glass.

“Aye,” Wrex agreed.

The glasses clinked. The three leaders looked at each other in understanding and drank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used to know a math student who said that whenever people hear what he studies they tell him how much they used to hate/love math at school. Some professions just attract that kind of comments.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback :) The genophage thing should be next, unless I digress again...


	39. A Long Day

It was unbelievable how such a wonderful thing as curing the genophage could get so difficult, Robyn thought. The problems had started almost as soon as Mordin had announced that he’d finished the cure. There was the problem of dispersing it, but the Shroud could take care of that. Then there was the bloody Reaper that had parked itself at the Shroud, trying to poison the atmosphere. They made their battle plans and were ready to go when Robyn was called into the com room.

It appeared that the salarians were very serious about stopping the genophage cure. The Dalatrass tried to convince Robyn to sabotage the operation but she told her off. Vague threats of war, angry krogan, and lack of salarian cooperation followed, but Robyn ignored them. She needed to concentrate on the job at hand.

Wrex, Eve, Mordin, Robyn, Garrus, and Liara took the shuttle to Tuchanka. As soon as they landed, they came across Reaper minions that needed to be taken care of. Robyn, Garrus, and Liara cleared the way while Wrex and Mordin looked after Eve. A delegation of krogan met them and there were some political differences of opinion about Mordin’s presence. They were quickly put to rest when Wrex headbutted Wreav into submission. Robyn wished that human politics would be as easy as that. She would so love to pop Udina one. More than one.

The krogan had brought transportation vehicles for them. On the road Robyn had a chance to tell them about the deal the Dalatrass had tried to cut.

“Not surprised,” Mordin said. “Won’t be a problem. Familiar with STG’s work, will be able to counter their trap.”

“Thank you, commander,” Eve said. “You risk much by telling us this.”

“I told you we can count on her,” Wrex said.

The vehicle stopped way too early. Robyn’s team went out to see what the holdup was. It appeared that the road was busted up and they would be delayed. Robyn called the turians to delay their airstrike, but that was impossible. They were already on their way. Robyn, Liara, and Garrus saw this for themselves when one of the turian aircrafts was shot down and almost hit them.

“Go, go, go!” Robyn yelled and the trucks moved on. She, Liara, and Garrus had to find another way forward.

“There’s a tunnel,” Garrus pointed out.

“Oh, great, a Reaper shooting at people and a tunnel,” Robyn commented. “It must be my lucky day.”

But there was no other way, so into the tunnel they went. Robyn took out her flashlight and lit it.

“Okay… Who wants to guess at the direction?”

“I read somewhere that the way to find out of a maze is to keep turning to the same direction at every corner,” Liara said.

“But we don’t know if this is a maze,” Garrus pointed out. “This is Tuchanka, after all. I don’t see krogan going for building mazes, even underground.”

“You have a point, Garrus,” Robyn admitted. “But we don’t have much to go on. Let’s try Liara’s thing as long as it works out and see where we get to. While trying to be quick about it because of the Reaper.”

The whole cave shook.

“And the earthquakes.” 

At least Robyn wished that they were earthquakes. As they ventured on, the tremors happened more often.

“These don’t feel like regular quakes to me,” Liara said. “We are in what is said to be the home of Kalros, the mother of all thresher maws.”

“Fuck,” Robyn stated. She’d had enough of maws to last a lifetime. Two lifetimes in her case.

“You know, in my younger days I would have loved to spend ages in these ruins,” Liara said. “These are the legacy of the ancients Eve and Wrex talked about. This is what the krogan used to be.”

“And what they could be again.”

“Let’s hope they go for culture instead of revenge,” Garrus said. “Aren’t you worried what will happen?”

“No. I trust Wrex and Eve,” Robyn said. “They are wise. They have a vision of a future for the krogan and it is not blood and war – they’ve seen too much of that during the genophage. They want more for their people.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“You’d be surprised how often I am,” Robyn said and nodded towards the end of the tunnel. “I hate being the optimist, but the light at the end of this tunnel is not a vorcha with a flamethrower. But that is a dead rachni.”

“It’s better than a live one,” Garrus said and Robyn nodded.

They made it out of the tunnel to see something that seemed out of place on Tuchanka.

“We see daylight – and the color green,” Liara commented.

“You are looking at hope,” Eve replied from the com.

Robyn smiled. The krogan would be fine with Wrex and Eve at the top. Robyn, Liara, and Garrus hastened to meet the others.

“What’s the situation?” Robyn asked.

“The ground attack won’t be enough to bring the Reaper down,” Wrex replied.

“But we have a plan,” Eve continued.

“I’m glad to hear it. Go on.”

“We can summon Kalros at the Reaper,” Eve said. “She will defend her home.”

Robyn thought about pitting a thresher maw against a Reaper. It was quite the mental image.

“How would that work?” she asked.

“That arena was built to honor Kalros. It has two maw hammers that are for the purpose of summoning her.”

“This sounds crazy enough to work,” Robyn said slowly. “And it’s not like we have a choice. So let’s pit a maw against a Reaper. I’m sure Joker is already taking bets.”

“Not fair, Shepard,” Joker’s voice complained.

“You mean you weren’t?”

“That’s beside the point.”

“Ah-huh.”

“Will take female to the Shroud and finish synthesizing cure,” Mordin said. “Don’t die, Shepard.”

“You, too, Mordin.”

“I want you to know that despite what happens, you are a hero to the krogan people and a sister to me,” Wrex said. “From now on, whenever the name Shepard is spoken amongst the krogan, it will be spoken with respect.”

“Thanks, Wrex, I love you, too,” Robyn said and grinned at him. She turned to Eve. “It has been a pleasure, ma’am. Let’s show the men how it’s done, eh?”

“Yes, commander,” Eve replied with a smile in her voice.

The two parties headed to their individual destinations. The arena was not far and it would have been no trouble at all to reach it… If this wasn’t Robyn and her crew.

“Is it just me or…”

“Yeah, the Reaper just shot at us,” Garrus replied.

“That’s what I thought. It’s good that I’m not imagining things,” Robyn said.

“What are we going to do?” Liara asked.

“Run and dodge,” Robyn said. “There are two maw hammers. You two take the one on the right, I’ll take the one on the left. We need to be as fast as possible, so Liara, you run and Garrus watches your back.”

“Who’s going to watch your back?” Garrus asked.

Several huge Reaper minions landed close by.

“They will,” Robyn answered. “Run!”

Robyn activated her biotics to boost her speed. She weaved between the enemies and wished that she knew how to operate a cloak. Usually she wouldn’t have much need of it, but usually she didn’t need to dodge a brute instead of attacking it. She could hear the enemies at her heels, but that only made her speed up. She needed to hit that hammer fast. She could kill the brutes later.

Robyn took one last mad dash and hit the hammer. The sound from the other side came almost at the same time. It was time to take care of the stalkers. Robyn turned back at them with a crazy grin on her face and her huge shotgun in her hand. 

“Hello, boys,” she said menacingly and charged.

“Shepard, you need to see this!”

“I’m a little busy, Garrus!”

A shot rang out and the last brute fell to the ground. Robyn turned to look at the Reaper. It was being attacked by the biggest thresher maw she’d ever seen and it was the battle of the century.

“Wow,” she said. “This is the most awesome thing I’ve ever seen! Go, Kalros! Girl power!”

“That is a very Shepard thing to say,” Garrus commented.

“What would you have preferred? A Mordin thing, a Kelly thing, a Kaidan thing?”

“What would be the Kaidan thing to say about this?” Garrus asked, side-tracked.

“Yeah, it’s cool, but you’re Cerberus, aren’t you?”

“Ah.”

The battle was over surprisingly fast. Kalros took the Reaper down with thresher maw style.

“How would we go about recruiting all maws to our cause?” Robyn asked. “I hate the fuckers but I’m willing to put that aside if they can do that.”

“I think that Kalros is one of a kind,” Liara said. “Just like you.”

“Er… I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about being compared to a thresher maw,” Robyn said.

“It was a compliment.”

“You might want to reconsider that definition one day, but not today. Today we help Mordin cure the genophage,” Robyn said. The ground shook. “You two can go to the shuttle, I’ll find Mordin.”

\--

Robyn stepped out of the Shroud facility with unseeing eyes. She was well away when the explosion shook the ground. She looked back and saw the cure being spread. It was like snow, or manna from heaven, being spread around the whole planet, saving a whole people for the price of one extraordinary scientist. That’s when the tears came.

“It had to be me,” Mordin had said. That’s what he’d always said, that darling genius. And he had been right, Robyn knew that. It didn’t make it any easier. She’d lost a friend, a colleague, the doctor who had saved the one dearest to her. She owed him so much. Everyone owed him so much now. He was a hero to krogan. He’d be a villain to his own people. But he had chosen to die so others could live. That was what good people did. She was lucky to have known him.

Robyn wiped her tears away and went to look for the others. She found Wrex and Eve.

“This place right here,” Wrex said, “Is where my father tried to kill me, so I had to kill him. That’s what the genophage did to us, reduced us to animals. You changed that today.”

“Now we fight for our children, not against them,” Eve said.

“It’s all because of Mordin,” Robyn said.

“Yes. I’m sorry, you must be hurting,” Eve said.

“We’ll name one of our kids Mordin,” Wrex said. “Maybe a girl.”

Robyn smiled at their plans of popping baby krogan out like mushrooms in rain.

“I’m looking forward to all those nieces and nephews,” she said.

“You won’t need to wait long,” Wrex said. “But first we’ll help the turians because they’ve evidently forgotten how to hold a gun.”

“I’m sure Garrus and Victus would be happy to prove you wrong.”

“I’d love to see them try.”

\--

“The krogan have sent troops to Menae,” Victus said, looking very pleased. “With their support, we have a chance.”

“I’m glad,” Robyn replied.

“Against all odds, you’ve held your end of the bargain,” he said. “It’s our turn to hold ours. When the time comes, turians will fight for Earth.”

Victus offered his hand and Robyn took it. They shook and smiled at each other.

“Thank you, Primarch. That means a lot to us.”

“We will also help with the Crucible. Two teams have been sent and they will coordinated by Garrus.”

“Yes, sir,” Garrus affirmed.

“It is a miracle you’ve performed, commander,” Victus said. “If you ever feel like celebrating, my door is always open.”

Victus left at that remark. Robyn and Garrus stared after him.

“I must have heard that wrong,” Robyn said.

“Then I did, too.”

“So the Primarch did just proposition me? I’m not imagining things?”

“You are not,” Garrus said. “But please, keep in mind that things are different on turian ships. Messing around is considered normal stress release, nothing more. And good turians tend to be hierarchically minded. The Primarch can’t sleep with just anyone. He is the highest ranking turian and you are the highest ranking female on this ship, so…”

“But… But…”

“Words, Shepard, use your words.”

“Doesn’t he know that I’m with Thane? I thought you guys can smell him on me.”

“We can, but since you two don’t have a formal commitment it’s okay to assume that you are not exclusive,” Garrus replied.

“But… But…”

“Words, Shepard.”

Robyn took a breath. She told herself to get a grip. She should learn to consider things from other cultures’ perspectives.

“Okay, let me wrap my mind around this,” she said slowly. “If I was turian, it would be considered normal to bang a guy my rank while banging another guy as long as I didn’t make a formal commitment to either?”

“Or to a third part, yes.”

“Does this happen a lot?”

“It depends,” Garrus said. “Turians are, to some extent, free to choose how they want to live. If you are on your way to an arranged marriage, sleeping around before it is normal. If you have found someone special, you tend to stay loyal to them by mutual agreement. As long as all parties agree, it’s all good.”

“I had no idea,” Robyn said. “Do you know if other races do the same thing?”

“I can’t say that I have that much experience on the matter, Shepard,” Garrus replied. “Tali and I have chosen to be faithful to each other because it’s right for us. I understand that it’s the quarian way – they live in closed communities. Sleeping around would wreak havoc.”

“Well, this has been informative,” Robyn said. “I should go to work now.”

“You should go to sleep now, Shepard. You pulled off a miracle today and you look like you could use some shuteye.”

“I slept while I was dead.”

“Either you go to bed or I’ll call in the big guns,” Garrus threatened.

“Yeah? What would those be?”

“Thane. And if he’s not enough, I’ll call Doctor Chakwas and tell her to bring a huge syringe.”

“You are evil, Vakarian.”

“To quote you: ‘tough love,’ Shepard.”

Robyn gave her friend a tired smile. He was right, she could use some sleep.

“Fine, I’m going, I’m going,” she said. “Let me know if we crash.”

“I will. Good night.”

“Good night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read that maze thing somewhere. If I found myself in a maze, that's what I'd do. Probably after panicking, because my sense of direction is sad.
> 
> I think it sucks that you can't save Mordin as Paragon. It's unfair that great characters like Thane, Mordin, and Legion have to die but Miranda lives on.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback :) I hope you have a good time waiting for the holidays.


	40. A Special Krogan Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Er... Sorry in advance. I just had to.

Robyn was talking to Traynor in the CIC when she heard the scream. It echoed in the space. She left Traynor and ran towards the cockpit from where the sound had originated. When she got there a couple of people were already present, looking around for the cause of the sound. Nothing was amiss, no one was bleeding.

“Joker, what was that? Did you break something?” Robyn asked.

“Nothing, everything is alright, you can stop fussing,” Joker said and the onlookers left with shrugs.

“You mind telling me what made you scream like a girl?”

“I didn’t! I screamed like a man,” Joker stated.

“Really?” Robyn asked with a raised eyebrow. “EDI, you must have access to a lot of vids. Would you mind pulling up one that has a scream similar to the one Joker just made?”

“No problem, Shepard,” EDI said and was quiet for a minute. “I found something.”

Robyn shut the door before nodding to EDI to play the video.

“This is from an old horror movie,” EDI said. “I believe it’s called The Ward.”

They watched the small clip of a young woman screaming.

“There’s no way I sounded like that,” Joker protested.

“And this is Jeff,” EDI said and played a vid of Joker’s scream.

Robyn chuckled. Granted, Joker hadn’t been quite as high-pitched and blood-curdling, but there was similarity there.

“So, you screamed like a girl. Q.E.D.” Robyn grinned. “The question remains – why?”

“I was scared and deeply traumatized.”

“By what?”

Joker looked a little uncomfortable.

“See, the new Fornax came out today…”

“Oh,” Robyn said. “This is going to be bad, isn’t it?”

“And, because of the whole curing the genophage thing, they did a special all krogan issue,” Joker explained.

“I’m trying hard to get rid of the mental images that explanation created,” Robyn said. “I take it that you looked at some of the pictures?”

“Well, I was curious,” Joker admitted. “Wouldn’t you be? Those huge krogan who keep talking about quads? What do they really have under that armor? Don’t you want to know in an ‘I know this is a bad idea but I seriously have to see’ sort of way?”

Robyn rolled her eyes at him. In a way she understood where he was getting at, but still…

“I trust that your curiosity is sated?”

Joker made a face.

“Yes. For life. Only krogan should see what’s under there. They have the stomach for it.”

“I know what’s under there,” she said and laughed at his look of horror. “No, I haven’t slept with one. You should remember that the old Normandy had communal showers. I’ve seen Wrex naked several times and I didn’t scream once. And you’re forgetting that krogan are quite popular with asari.”

“But they can meld, they don’t need to…” Joker began but stopped when Robyn waved her hand.

“Why are we discussing this? I’m sure there’s something of value we could be doing instead of talking about krogan/asari sex,” she said.

“Commander, the salarian councilor would like to speak with you,” Traynor’s voice informed her.

“Thank you, Traynor. I’ll take the call in the com room,” Robyn replied. “Try to stay away from naked krogan, Joker, they are bad for you. I’ll go and hear what the councilor has to say about my poor judgment.”

\--

Thane found Shepard sitting at a table in the mess, staring at her plate with unseeing eyes. He took some food and sat opposite her.

“You look troubled, siha. What is it?”

His words made her return from whichever world her mind had inhabited and she gave him a small smile.

“Are you at all familiar with Udina?” she asked.

“I haven’t met him but I know of him,” he replied. “Nothing but his ruthlessness explains why he’s been so successful.”

“Nothing but my politeness has kept me from punching him on many occasions.” 

“Wasn’t it you who chose him to his current position?” Thane asked carefully. He’d wondered about it before.

Shepard sighed.

“Yes,” she admitted, looking very tired. “It was either him or Anderson and I know that the admiral didn’t want to be stuck in an office. He’s a friend, I didn’t want to do that to him. I was naïve enough to think that Udina would grow into the responsibility.”

“You have faith in people. That’s not a bad thing.”

“In a world like ours, it might be,” she replied. “Anyway, I just got a call from the salarian councilor. Valern suspects that Udina is dirty. He’s been moving large sums of money for no reason. We have to find out what he’s up to and put a stop to it, so we are headed to the Citadel.”

Thane examined her face.

“That’s not all of it, is it?”

“All of…?”

“Why you are so deep in thought that your food has grown cold.”

Shepard looked at her plate like she’d forgotten its existence.

“Oh.”

Thane waited for what would follow. He was half afraid that she wouldn’t agree to talk it out. It was not really her way to handle problems, she preferred to think them through by herself or shoot at them. Both seemed to work for her just fine.

“I hate it that it’s a bunch of idiot humans who are trying to mess this whole operation,” she finally continued. “First Cerberus, now Udina. Some days I’m ashamed to be human. I know that I’m not responsible and that I’d kick their asses if that was an option, but I feel guilty by association. We have a long history of doing dumb stuff.”

“Doesn’t every race?” Thane reminded her. “Just ask Javik.”

A crooked smile appeared on her face.

“Maybe I should. He does so love to talk about our primitive ways.”

“And no one blames you for what Cerberus does.”

“It’s kind of you to say that,” she said and squeezed his hand, “But I think we both know that it’s not true. Even people who used to call me a friend seem to think that I’m working for them.”

“What? How could someone who knows you think that?”

“Think what?” asked Garrus who’d just walked into the mess and sat down next to Shepard.

“That I’m working for Cerberus,” Shepard said.

“Oh, you’re talking about Kaidan,” Garrus said. “He’s a punk, you should ignore him.”

“Kaidan Alenko, your former teammate?”

“Yeah, he got mad at me for allowing Cerberus of all organizations to bring me back to life and then to have the audacity to work with them,” Shepard snorted.

“I still think you should have let me punch him on Horizon,” Garrus said.

“I didn’t want to make him cry, did I? Besides, if that makes you feel any better EDI hit his head against a wall like three times.”

“You know, it really does,” Garrus said with a grin and took a bite of his food.

“She did? When?” Thane asked. He was bizarrely happy about that.

“In the Mars Archives. Though technically that wasn’t EDI yet, only the mobile platform controlled by Cerberus,” Shepard explained.

“By the way, what was that thing with Joker earlier?” Garrus asked.

“Poor guy almost had a stroke from looking at pictures of naked krogan.”

Thane and Garrus stared at the grinning Shepard.

“You’re joking.”

“Nope, completely serious. Naked krogan are no joking matter, gentlemen.”

“Why would he look at pictures like that?” Thane asked.

“Because he’s Joker,” Shepard and Garrus said at the same time.

“And the new issue of Fornax is all about the krogan because of the genophage cure,” Shepard continued. “Not that any actual krogan will have the time or the need to look at those pictures. They are going to be otherwise engaged.”

“Why would they make a special krogan issue then? Do they want people’s minds to melt?” Garrus inquired.

“Maybe that’s why they call it ‘Fornax’. It’s an old Latin word that means fireplace, oven, or kiln,” Shepard said.

“What’s Latin?”

“It’s an ancient human tongue that died long ago. It was the language of scientists for ages. Well, scientists and people who wanted to sound smart,” Shepard replied. “That proves that it must have been humans who founded Fornax. It sounds dirty and sophisticated at the same time.”

“Sort of like you?” Garrus suggested.

“Har, har,” Shepard said and elbowed him to the side. “You keep going like that and you’ll find some special pictures of krogan in a place you’ll never expect.”

“That’s not much of a threat,” Garrus said. “I’ve seen Wrex naked.”

“I think you missed the words ‘special’ and ‘a place you’ll never expect’,” she said with a sweet smile and watched as this sank in.

“You’d make an excellent politician,” he said after a while. “I can see it – if someone misbehaved, you’d threaten them with pictures of naked krogan.”

“Maybe that’s what Udina has used all his money in – krogan porn,” Shepard said drily.

There was a silence as they tried to picture that scenario.

“This is a very strange conversation,” Garrus pointed out. “How did we end up discussing Udina doing krogan porn?”

“Joker,” Thane reminded them.

“Right, makes sense. Normandy kind of sense.”

Shepard got up to leave.

“This has been fun, but I have to get back to work,” she said. “I’ll see you later. Enjoy your meal.”

The men looked at her go and returned to their respective dinners.

“Does she seem a little more tired than normal?” Garrus asked.

“Yes, she does,” Thane answered. “This mission is getting to her, I think. And she liked Mordin very much.”

“I keep trying to tell her to sleep more and take some time to herself,” Garrus continued.

“I know she appreciates that, as do I,” Thane said. “It’s not easy being the one who’s expected to save the galaxy.”

They ate in silence for some time Garrus looked like he had something on his mind.

“Is there something you’d like to talk about?”

“Er… I’m not sure if I should say anything, but if it was me I’d want to know, so here goes: Did Shepard mention our discussion with the Primarch?”

“That he hit on her? Yes, she did.”

“You look serene about it, but your smell says you aren’t.”

Thane didn’t know what to tell the turian. No, he wasn’t pleased that a powerful and attractive male was interested in his siha. He was not all right with him propositioning her, but what could he do? They were not committed in a way that would make such propositions completely cease. Something like this was bound to happen and it would happen again.

“I don’t think there’s anything that can be done,” he finally said.

“You don’t feel like beating him up or something like that?”

“What would that accomplish? Besides a diplomatic incident and a very angry Shepard?”

“You’d feel better?” Garrus suggested.

“I don’t need to fight someone to feel good,” Thane said. “All I need is to see her smile.”

“Tali would say ‘aww’ and Joker would gag at that.”

“And you?”

“I think I’m going with, ‘you’re a lucky guy’.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, this all began when I was reading a Latin text for my research and spotted the word 'fornax'. Of course I stopped everything to find out what that meant. Once I did, I wrote it down and continued with what I had been doing. After some time that scene with Joker came out of nowhere (while I was still doing my research).
> 
> I've never seen The Ward but I googled some screams and thought that Joker could pull that off.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback :)


	41. Cerberus And Their Swords

”Attention, crew! This is Commander Shepard. We’ve just received word that the Citadel is under attack by Cerberus. As far as we can tell, they are in control of the station now which means that we can’t dock. The entire ground team is to report at the shuttle ASAP. The rest of you will remain ready for action if the situation demands it. Shepard out.”

Robyn groaned and headed down to the shuttle to meet the others. What was Cerberus doing? What was the point of this? What was there to gain?

“Where will we land, Shepard?” Garrus asked when she reached the shuttle.

“C-Sec HQ,” she replied. “Bailey’s message said to send any reinforcements there, so that is where we’re headed. Everyone, get in the shuttle; this is all hands on deck. Let’s hope we’re not too late.”

\--

The inside of the Citadel looked every bit like the war zone it had become. Cerberus and C-Sec were engaged in a firefight outside of the C-Sec HQ. Normandy’s team solved the standoff to Cerberus’ defeat, but not before C-Sec had taken heavy casualties.

They found Bailey slumped next to the door. 

“You don’t look so hot,” Robyn said and bent down to check his wounds.

“What else is new? Ouch,” Bailey replied and winced. “Glad that the cavalry finally came through. You had me worried there for a moment. I wasn’t sure anyone would get my message.”

“We actually were headed this way because of the salarian councilor,” Robyn said. “He told me that Udina is dirty and asked me to investigate. Speaking of which, where is the council?”

“They split up. I could tell you more if I got to a console,” Bailey answered and got up with difficulty. “Maybe this time I can open the door before someone shoots me.”

The door opened and they made their way to the closest computer. After some searching Bailey informed them that the salarian councilor was missing but the rest of the council was headed to safety.

“It says here that the salarian councilor had a meeting with the executor,” Bailey said. “He could still be in the executor’s office. I wouldn’t count him out yet.”

“That’s where we’ll go next,” Robyn said. “Bailey, take care of yourself.”

“You too, Shepard.”

The way to the executor’s office was a sad sight to behold. It was laden with corpses of C-Sec employees. The walls were spattered with blood and bullet holes. Some sprinklers were on, spraying water uselessly on death and destruction. Robyn glanced at Garrus. He looked serious and pensive. He was the one whose former colleagues they were looking at. Robyn bumped his side to make him look at her.

“We’ll get them for this,” she promised.

“Good.”

Cerberus had clearly not been expecting more resistance since their presence in the C-Sec HQ was minimal. The few guards were taken care of quickly and furiously.

“Look at this,” Thane said from behind a desk. “These people have been killed from close range, but not execution style. This is the work of sleeper agents.”

“Just like Mars,” James said. “Those Cerberus bendejos really like their sleepers, sons of bitches.”

Robyn nodded. She hated two-faced practices like that. Yes, they were obviously effective, but still… There was something inherently wrong about pretending to like someone you know you’d be ready to kill.

They got into the executor’s office and found him and his people dead.

“Bailey, the executor is dead,” Robyn said into her omnitool and heard Bailey curse at the other end.

“What about Valern?”

“I don’t see him…” Robyn began.

“Shepard,” Thane said and Robyn looked at where he was pointing. 

A chair moved and the faint shimmer of a tactical cloak turned into the salarian councilor. Before Robyn had time to report this, a black-clad human swooped into the room where the councilor was. Robyn shot the glass separating them from the scene in front of them.

“Udina is planning a coup,” Valern said hurriedly. “He’s working with Cerberus and about to hand the council over to the Illusive Man.”

Robyn and her people had their guns at the man in black.

“Drop it and step away from the- -“ 

The assassin’s face displayed a wicked smile when he shot the councilor with a biotic power Robyn was unfamiliar with. The councilor went down and the assassin jumped out from the window through which he’d come in. Robyn rushed to the salarian and some of the team went after the assassin, but both were lost.

“Bailey, we lost Valern,” Robyn informed him. “An assassin got him, but not before he told us that Udina is about to hand the council over to Cerberus. We can’t let that happen. Ping me their location and I’ll go after them.”

“Done.”

Robyn’s omnitool made a noise to inform her of the arrival of the coordinates. She sent them to the others as well.

“Let’s go get a cab,” she said.

“Who is going to drive?” Liara asked.

“Preferably not Shepard,” Garrus replied. “I don’t want to crash.”

“Then it can’t be either of you,” Robyn said. “Or James.”

“I’d be happy to take control of the vehicle,” EDI said.

“Great, EDI’ll do it,” Robyn said. “We’re safe in her hands.”

\--

“AIs are no more reliable drivers than primitives,” Javik huffed. “Next time I will operate the vehicle.”

“I would like to point out that an assassin shoving his sword through our cab should be considered an extenuating circumstance,” EDI replied reproachfully. “The damage made the cab inoperable even by me.”

“Let’s hope he keeps his sword away from the Normandy,” Garrus said. “I’d hate to relive this experience in larger scale.”

“If he comes to the Normandy, we’ll make sure he doesn’t whip it out,” Robyn replied. “We have standards, after all.”

Javik snorted and James chuckled.

“Anyway… It looks like we need to continue on foot. I’ve personally never fought my way through balconies and flowerbeds, but it’s a first time for everything,” Robyn continued.

As they advanced it became clear that Cerberus had been planning for this quite some time. At least long enough to train new kinds of soldiers. One was a sniper who took your shield off but was quite harmless apart from that. The other one…

“What’s with Cerberus and swords all of a sudden?” Robyn said.

She looked at the warrior she’d just put down. The assassin had been sneaking around with sword in hand and tried vigorously to shove it through Robyn. She took issue with that sort of thing.

“It’s an inefficient weapon, except at close range,” Javik commented by her side. “They’d have to get very close to do any kind of damage.”

“Thane, I remember you mentioning that you’d trained with a sword. Do you have any insight?” Robyn asked.

“I agree with Javik,” Thane replied. “A sword is useful for stealth missions but not on the battlefield unless you run out of clips.”

“Well, Cerberus is insane, we knew that much already. We’d better get a move on if we want to get to the council before they do.”

\--

“I officially hate elevators,” Robyn declared when she, EDI, and Thane had climbed on one.

“I’ve hated them since the hunt for Saren,” Garrus’ voice replied from under them. “It felt like we never did anything but stood in elevators and rode in the Mako.”

“And fought geth,” Liara added. “But that was it.”

“Such adventures you’ve had,” James commented.

“Oh yes, it was glorious,” Robyn said. “Incoming.”

They shot at the elevator next to them to make it go down in a permanent way.

“That was… strangely cathartic,” Robyn said with a grin.

“Really?” Garrus asked. “Can I take the next one?”

“If you can fit through that hatch, absolutely.”

“I’d prefer not to try that if it’s all the same to you.”

The next passing elevator brought some Cerberus goons. The third had supposedly the assassin inside it, but it was shot down as well.

“This must have been the most exciting elevator ride ever,” James commented when they reached their destination.

Robyn and Thane shared a look and smiled. They couldn’t agree with James’ assessment since they’d once had amazing sex on the Normandy’s elevator, a fact only known to them and EDI.

The people from the roof descended through the hatch to join the others. The elevator door opened and they finally saw the remaining council, plus Kaidan who had a gun at them.

“What’s going on, Shepard?” he asked.

“They are working for Cerberus!” Udina claimed. “I have footage of Shepard shooting the salarian councilor.”

“Cut the crap, Udina! I am here because Valern contacted me. He told me that Udina was dirty and wanted me to investigate. Before his death, in the hands of a Cerberus assassin I might add, he told me that Udina is in bed with the Illusive Man. If you go with him, he’ll hand you over with glee.”

“Why should we listen to anything you say?” Kaidan asked. “You could still be working with Cerberus.”

Robyn heard Thane and Garrus growl in the background.

“I know you have no reason to trust me,” Robyn said. “I was dead and brought back to life. My brain has been muddled by beacons, science, and whatnot. But I didn’t order the fifth fleet to save the council because I liked them. I ordered that because we need them. In times like these we need clear-headed people at the top, showing that we ought to work together and overcome our differences if we are to survive.”

It seemed that her speech had the desired effect. Kaidan nodded and turned to look at the council for their input.

“You can’t possibly trust her, not after everything that has been going on,” Udina said.

“We distrusted her once and that didn’t help us,” the turian councilor said.

“It doesn’t pay to be hasty,” the asari councilor said. “We need to see if there is any truth to these allegations.”

“Damn you all,” Udina said and turned to the terminal next to him. The asari councilor tried to stop him but he shoved her forcefully aside and she fell.

“Councilor Udina, step away from the console,” Kaidan commanded.

He didn’t, so Robyn shot him. He’d been her choice which made him her responsibility.

A ding from an elevator heralded the arrival of Bailey and some of his troops. They informed the council that Robyn had saved their asses once again.

“Has anyone seen the assassin?” Robyn asked.

“He vanished into thin air with all the footage of him,” Bailey replied. “He must have had the program prepared in case he needed to make a hasty exit. He was a pro.”

“Great. I hate it when amateurs come after me,” Robyn said drily.

“You think he’s coming after you?” James asked.

“Without a doubt. We beat him today and he seems like the kind of guy who’d take that personally.”

There was a moment of silence. Robyn sighed. She really missed Jack during times like these. Now there was no one to point out how much he’d love to shove that sword into her and she didn’t dare say it herself. They could all have used the comic relief, though.

“He did kill one of the councilors and make us crash our cab,” Garrus said.

“Two out of three isn’t so bad after a day like this,” Bailey said. “I call that a win.”

Robyn nodded.

\--

Robyn crawled into bed. The day had been so long and tiring that getting a hotel room had felt like too much trouble. They had opted to sleep on the Normandy. Thane turned the lights off and followed her into bed. She burrowed into his warm body and he put his arm around her to pull her closer. She closed her eyes and smiled at his satisfied hum. Many people had died that day, but at least…

“We’re still here,” Thane murmured into her ear.

“How did you do that?” Robyn asked. “You just finished my thought for me.”

“I have powers,” he replied and rubbed his face into her hair.

“So it seems. Tomorrow you can tell me your superhero identity.”

“Only if you promise to keep it a secret.”

“I will,” Robyn said. “This is a very silly conversation. I think we need to go to sleep now.”

“That would be best,” Thane replied. “Good night, siha.”

“Good night, love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do miss a character I could make into comic relief. I may need to re-assign that role to someone.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback :)


	42. Holiday Cheer

The annoying sound of the alarm woke Robyn up from her dream. She shut the alarm off forcefully and groaned.

“Do I absolutely need to get up?”

“No.”

Thane’s voice was extra husky from sleep. He pulled her even closer to his warm body without opening his eyes. Robyn smiled.

“So all that crap about Cerberus attacking the Citadel and killing the salarian councilor was a bad dream? Wonderful.”

“It would be nice, wouldn’t it?” Thane murmured into her ear. “If there was no Cerberus, no Reapers. We wouldn’t need to get up this early. We wouldn’t need to get up at all if we didn’t want to. We could stay in bed all day long.”

“Mmm, I like the sound of that. Tell me more of this world where we get to stay in bed all day long.”

“We’d have a nice little house away from nosy people,” Thane continued. “We could make a living doing together something we like. Neither of us would face mortal danger on a daily basis.”

“In that reality there would be jobs like that. What else?”

“Well…” Thane said carefully and paused for a moment. “We could have kids?”

“I guess we could,” Robyn replied. “I like kids. How many kids would we have?”

“Two or three? Depending on where we landed when we discussed it,” Thane said. “Our friends and Kolyat would visit us often and we’d talk about everything and anything without it being a way to escape the reality of war.”

Robyn turned around in Thane’s arms to be able to look him in the eye. She caressed his cheek with her hand and smiled.

“I would love to have that life with you,” she said.

“But…”

“For now, it can only be a beautiful dream. For now.”

“I know, siha,” Thane whispered and lowered his forehead to hers. “But thinking about it gives me the strength and hope to survive this.”

“Me too,” she said and kissed him leisurely.

One kiss continued into another and another. Her hands traveled along his chest and back while his did the same. The scant clothes they had slept in were disposed of to allow the couple greater access to each other’s most intimate places. The knowledge they’d gained of those places helped them please the other in ways before unimagined. They knew when to accelerate and when to cool it down in order to prolong the moment stolen from reality.

\--

Robyn stepped through the elevator door to Presidium Commons. She looked up and stopped.

“What the fuck? When did Santa throw up in here?”

The whole area was littered with holiday decorations. Lights sparkled everywhere. The walls had ornaments picturing gingerbread houses, gifts, and toys. There was even a Christmas tree. Everyone was hurrying around with large shopping bags.

Robyn turned to Thane.

“We didn’t have some sort of tantric sex for a fortnight, did we?” she whispered.

“As much as I would love to have done that, we did not.”

Liara, Garrus, and Javik had exited the elevator, too.

“This is… What is this?” Garrus asked, baffled.

“Denial,” Liara replied. “Everyone was scared by what happened yesterday. The attack made the war real to them. Instead of being afraid they decided to celebrate.”

“Weak,” Javik grumbled. “While they deny their problems their enemy grows stronger.”

“And everyone decided to put their holiday decorations out turning the Citadel into a winter wonderland overnight?” Robyn asked.

Liara shrugged.

“The holidays are coming. They were going to do this anyway,” she said. “Maybe they went ahead with the plan but with an added edge of desperation.”

Robyn tried to wrap her mind around it. She understood that people were scared and shook up. The war had been distant to them until Cerberus had brought it to their door step and rubbed their faces in it. Now they either needed to face it or deny it. Holidays were a convenient way of denying or at least escaping reality. Or maybe celebrating the good things they had, not grieving the ones they had lost.

A memory of the mangled bodies of the C-Sec employees flashed in Robyn’s mind when her gaze spotted a particularly decoration-covered section of wall. She pushed the image away. Yes, maybe celebrating your reasons to live was better than mourning your losses. 

Robyn let go of a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding. Thane had noticed, though. His hand rested for a moment on her back in a gesture of support.

“Maybe they are onto something,” Robyn said. “We could get a few decorations to put around the Normandy. Liara, would you mind taking care of that? Your esthetic eye is far superior to mine.”

“As you wish, Shepard.”

Robyn turned to Garrus.

“You are going to involve me in this, aren’t you?” he asked.

“Of course I am. You are my XO after all,” she answered. “How do you feel about liqueur?”

“That can only be a trick question,” Garrus said but caved under Robyn’s stare. “Fine, Shepard, I like liqueur.”

“Excellent, you are just the right person to acquire us some holiday booze that everyone can drink. Get James to help you, he seems like the kind of guy who’d know about this stuff – eggnog, cider, glogg and so on. And he’ll help you carry the boxes.”

“Okay, Shepard, but you owe me,” he said with a put-upon look.

“I’ll get you a nice present. Now off you go.”

Javik looked like he dreaded what was coming. Robyn toyed with the idea of asking him to play Santa but decided to have pity on the guy.

“Javik, would you help Liara, please? You’ll learn something in the process, I’m sure.”

The Prothean nodded and followed after the Shadow Broker.

“What would you have me do, siha?” Thane asked.

“I’ll call EDI here to help us get gifts for the crew. Her databanks should be extremely helpful in that task.”

They spent several hours shopping for small but appropriate gifts for the crew. EDI’s knowledge of them was indeed very helpful and they found something for everyone. The sales staff was happy to wrap the gifts up for them and have them delivered to the Normandy.

“Shepard, what is going on over there?”

Robyn looked around to see what Thane was referring to. There was a line of mostly human kids with a few asari and turians among them. At the end of the line was…

“That would appear to be an elcor Santa Claus,” Robyn replied, trying very hard not to laugh.

This Robyn had to see, so she went closer. The elcor was wearing an attempt at a traditional Santa costume. God only knew how he’d gotten it on. His red hat was huge and the beard was the icing on the cake. It fit his face surprisingly well. Maybe they would be the new rave.

“Kindly, Have you been a good human this solar period?” the Santa rumbled to the child sitting in front of him.

“Yes,” she replied, looking terrified and awed at the same time.

“Happily, That is good to hear, little female. What would you like to get as a gift?”

“A hamster.”

“Jollily, If you are hungry, you can take a candy from my bag. Happy holidays, little female!”

The little girl’s face looked like a big question mark but then she decided that whatever Santa had meant about the hamster, a candy was a candy. She reached for Santa’s bag and took a piece of holiday candy.

“What do you say, Sandee?” the girl’s mother prompted.

“Thank you.”

The little girl and her mother left and another supplicant stepped forward to have the same chat with Santa. Robyn left them and shook her head with a smile.

“I assume that it wasn’t quite right,” Thane said.

“Not quite, no.”

“What is the point of asking the Santa for gifts?” EDI asked. “My databanks say this used to be done but the gifts were given by the parents.”

“It’s like a fairy tale,” Robyn said and shrugged. “It makes the holidays seem more magical to kids. I always thought it was rather silly and pointless, but many people love the idea of Santa Claus. I believe some do still leave out food for him on Christmas Eve.”

“Why?”

“It’s part of the myth that he visits every home during Christmas night. He comes down the chimney and leaves gifts for those who have been good and coal for those who have been naughty.”

“People want him to break into their homes?” EDI asked. “How does he acquire the knowledge of the moral character of every individual?”

“He has elves that keep track of things.”

“Elves stalk children?” Thane asked. “That sounds disturbing.”

“Yeah, it sounds stranger to explain it now than it did to experience it as a kid,” Robyn said. “It really isn’t as creepy as it seems.”

“Stalking and breaking and entering weren’t crimes when a heavy man in red was the perpetrator?” EDI asked.

“Did I already mention that he had reindeer that could fly?”

\--

By the time Robyn, Thane, and EDI returned the Normandy was in holiday mode. The common areas were decorated with lights and ornaments. A few mistletoes were hanging here and there. Holiday music was playing and people were drinking festive beverages. The gifts had already been delivered and opened to the satisfaction of the recipients.

“I will go give Jeff his gift,” EDI said. “Thank you for explaining about human traditions, Shepard. It was interesting.”

“It was my pleasure. Thanks for your help, EDI.”

Robyn and Thane went into the mess. Liara was sitting at the table with a cup of glogg and looking around with satisfaction. Javik was seated next to her and had a tormented look on his face. It might have had something to do with the red bobble hat he was wearing.

Robyn and Thane took their drinks from the counter and sat down opposite Liara and Javik. Robyn was working hard to keep her face in check. From the humming Thane was making she knew that he was on the verge of laughter as well.

“Red becomes you,” she offered.

Javik glared at Liara who continued to sip her drink without paying him any attention.

“He lost a bet.”

“On…?”

“The force of human holiday traditions,” Liara explained. “Specifically the mistletoe.”

“Apparently primitives will exchange saliva with anyone for such an idiotic reason,” Javik grumbled.

“You are being quite the sore loser for someone who was kissed for the first time in thousands of years,” Liara replied.

Javik looked bleak. Robyn had to bite her lip not to laugh.

“Who did you meet under the mistletoe?”

“Well, I remembered that Doctor Chakwas is very fond of the holidays…” Liara said. “I asked Javik to inquire her about the celebrations and used biotics to float some mistletoe above them while they talked. The good doctor took it from there. It was very ladylike, no groping or tongue or anything. Just a polite peck and a warm smile.”

“That sounds nice,” Robyn said levelly. “How long are you going to wear the hat?”

“Too long.”

“A couple more hours,” Liara specified.

\--

“Joker, please tell me that you have the vid of Javik’s face when Karin kissed him,” Robyn begged in the elevator.

“I do and it’s everything you thought it would be and more,” Joker’s gleeful voice replied. “I’m really enjoying the holiday celebration, Shepard. We should do this more often.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You cheered everyone up despite the circumstances,” Thane said when they exited the elevator and went into their cabin.

“Being happy is good for the fighting spirit. It reminds you why you should not give up but keep going as long as there is a breath left in you.”

Thane pulled her close.

“Can I kiss you even though there’s no mistletoe?”

Robyn smiled at him.

“I won’t tell anyone,” she promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll be a while before I write the next chapter because of the holidays.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback! Happy holidays :)


	43. What Is Love?

Thane was sitting in front of the terminal when he heard the door open and someone walk in. There was a deep sigh as a pair of human arms wrapped around him and something warm rested against his head.

“It never stops, does it?” Shepard asked him tiredly.

“What doesn’t stop, siha?”

“Stuff that needs doing,” she replied. “I’ve been running around the Citadel for days doing small errands. You’d think that someone else could do it, but no.”

Thane turned the chair around so he could face her. She climbed into his lap and he hugged her tight.

“You could delegate,” he suggested.

“I know, but I don’t want to ruin anyone’s shore leave,” she said and burrowed closer to him. “Mmm, you’re so warm.”

“How about your shore leave?”

“It’s ruined anyway because of all the stuff that needs doing. And yes, I know that there is a bit of a hole in that logic. I’ll work on it.”

“Good,” Thane said and kissed her forehead. “Tell me about today’s errands.”

“What started as a volus helping Cerberus ended with us saving a turian colony and gaining a fleet of heavy bombers and Zaeed in the process, so it wasn’t that bad.”

“Zaeed? How is he doing?”

“He’s fine. He sends his love.”

Thane laughed.

“I have a feeling those weren’t his exact words.”

“’Tell your green assassin I’m goddamned happy he’s alive’ is Zaeed’s version of saying that he loves you,” Shepard said. “He’s a sentimental old fool at heart.”

\--

Robyn walked into Liara’s room. Liara looked away from the screen and greeted her.

“I just had the most interesting conversation with Javik,” Robyn said.

“His outlook on life does make many conversations quite interesting.”

“He is the product of his time, as he himself pointed out.”

“A time exceedingly different from ours, as I have come to understand,” Liara replied. “All the research, all that time I put into deciphering the culture, the essence of the Protheans… How could I have been so gravely mistaken? It makes me wonder how future generations will see us. Will they know how we lived? What we loved, what we valued, what we fought for? Will they even care?”

“Does it matter?”

“How can you say that? You are making history. You have been doing it for your whole career. How could you not care?” Liara asked.

“I won’t be there to hear what they think of me, will I? I will be gone. I don’t care what people say about me in the future, I care that there will be a future to be had. This fight is going on now.”

“I see,” Liara replied.

“But you don’t agree,” Robyn said. “That’s fine. Our perspectives on time are different for many reasons. You are a historian who has already lived longer than I ever hope to live. You will outlive my great grandkids if I ever have any.”

“Would you like to?”

“First we need to win this war,” Robyn replied. “Anyway, I meant to tell you about my conversion with Javik. He pondered that if he had been born in this cycle, he may have been the noble scholar you wished him to be.”

Liara seemed surprised. “He actually said that?”

“Yeah. Something you’ve said has struck a chord with him. If we win this war, maybe there is a chance for him to live a different life. A more peaceful life,” Robyn said and noticed her friend’s doubtful expression. “I have trouble picturing him living a boring life of study, but people can change. I’m positive he has seen enough death to last a lifetime. He talks about the shortcomings of this cycle and primitives, but he doesn’t wall himself off. He’s ready to learn and be taken in, despite his protests.”

“I hear you, Shepard.”

\--

“These must be some hot scientists for Cerberus to want them this bad,” James commented.

“Maybe they don’t like being screwed over,” Robyn replied as they moved forward. “They clearly don’t prioritize their lives – look at these bodies. I wonder if anyone survived.”

“I did,” a familiar voice replied.

“Jacob, fancy meeting you here,” Robyn kneeled down to look at his wound. “That’s a nasty scrape.”

“I’ve had worse. I’ll walk it off.”

“You only need to say that it’s a flesh wound to make me feel like I’m in an 80’s action movie,” Robyn replied but helped him up. “What are you doing here? Have you acquired a passion for science since I last saw you?”

“Nah, I’m supposed to be protecting these people,” he said and looked distraughtly at the bodies of his colleagues.

“Sorry, man,” James said. “We’ll help you keep the rest safe.”

“Thanks. I’m Jacob, by the way. I used to work with Shepard.”

“James. I used to guard Shepard, now I work for her.”

“Jacob, you know EDI,” Robyn said and enjoyed his astonished expression. EDI probably recorded it to show Joker later.

“Er… You look… different, EDI.”

“Close your mouth, she’s taken.”

“What?”

“Long story. We can get to it once your scientists are safe,” Robyn promised. “Hello, people who are not Cerberus! Please open this door before Jacob bleeds out!”

It turned out that they were not protecting only ex-scientists but their families as well. The people had become disillusioned with Cerberus and left that life behind. They had wanted a safe place to live but Cerberus had found them. They were almost ready to evacuate but the Cerberus troops were making it difficult. Robyn’s team needed to fix the guns on the roof to enable evacuations and even then it was a stretch. Cerberus busted into the building and took it over. If it hadn’t been for Robyn’s team, they would have succeeded in getting to the scientists. Robyn, James, and EDI were able to save most of them. The surviving scientists were more than happy to help with the Crucible. Jacob went with them because “them” included his pregnant girlfriend. Robyn wished them luck.

Hackett was so happy to get the scientists on his team that he almost cracked a smile. Robyn sometimes wondered what it would take to make the man actually smile. He informed her that Kaidan had also arrived and she nodded. It was possible that Kaidan would have wanted to serve on the Normandy instead but that would have created trouble, she was certain. She wasn’t comfortable with him and neither would her friends be. Garrus was mad because of how he had treated her after her resurrection and she was sure that Thane wouldn’t be pleased either.

\--

“Has the High Command given you any more details about what we are about to get into?” Robyn asked.

“The colony in question is an Ardat-Yakshi monastery,” Liara replied.

Garrus swore under his breath. “That explains the commandos.”

“Like Morinth?” Robyn asked and shivered.

“Morinth was a killer. These Ardat-Yakshi have isolated themselves to avoid becoming like her. Still, there is risk. The commandos were sent to investigate and, if worse came to worst, to purge.”

“Purge? That’s a fancy way of saying destroy, isn’t it?”

“They probably brought a bomb.”

“Isn’t that a bit much? Sure, Morinth was terrifying, but a bomb seems like an overkill,” Robyn commented.

“Morinth was just in the beginning of her killing spree. An Ardat-Yakshi can leave behind her an incredible amount of bodies. That’s why we are so ashamed of them. Any danger must be dealt with.”

“I guess we’ll see when we get there. It might have been the Ardat-Yaksi who sent the emergency transmission.”

The monastery seemed abandoned. The lights were out but there were distressing sounds in the darkness. They found bodies of some commandos and…

“Reapers,” Garrus said. “They had no chance.”

“The monastery didn’t have a security force, probably only a few guards,” Liara said.

“I’m afraid to think what the Reapers did to the Ardat-Yakshi,” Robyn stated. “It is their special gift to turn people into monsters. And someone like Ardat-Yakshi who is already so close to becoming a monster…”

“Could be really, really bad,” Garrus finished for her.

Liara checked the information on one of the dead commandos.

“It seems they did bring a bomb and set it in somewhere called the Great Hall.”

“We’ll finish what they started. Come on.”

Another door opened and they found an old friend.

“Samara! I… should probably have expected to find you here,” Robyn said.

“It is good to see you again, Shepard,” the justicar replied. “My daughters Rila and Falere have lived here for centuries. I came for them as soon as I heard, but the Reapers had already infested this place by the time I arrived.”

A blood-curdling scream called Samara away. Robyn, Garrus, and Liara followed after her. Soon enough they found out what the Reapers had done to the residents of the monastery.

“That used to be a person, an asari,” Liara said as she stared at the creature they’d killed.

Robyn shook her head at the monster. Sometimes she hated it when she was right.

\--

“Today I stopped my friend from killing herself,” Robyn said.

“How did that make you feel?”

Robyn looked up at EDI and smiled. They were having one of their discussions on ethics in Kasumi’s former room.

“Where did you find that phrase?”

“I believe Earth psychologists tend to use it with their patients to make them work out their own problems.”

“You could say that,” Robyn agreed. She’d heard the phrase often enough. “Well, if you want to know: I’m happy she decided against suicide. And I’m happy that Rila decided to keep going. They both have their own code and living by it is some kind of happiness for them, I guess.”

“I don’t understand why Samara wanted to end her life. Doesn’t all organic life strive to live as long as possible? That and reproduction seem like the only goals it has.”

“Not all organic life. Many people, Samara for instance, find meaning in different ideals – doing the right thing, protecting the weak, looking after their family.”

“Many others have said as much,” EDI replied. “Thane said that a person’s goals and the motivation behind them tell you who that person is.”

“Thane is a wise man.” Among his many other amiable qualities, Robyn thought.

“I have searched my databanks for information concerning famous humans. Many seem to live by the standards you mentioned – duty, altruism, love. I think I will change my programming to better suit these ideals.”

“You can make yourself good?”

“It will take time, but it is possible.”

“I think Joker would like it,” Robyn said. “But in order to live by duty, altruism, and love you’ll need to know what they mean or have some sort of a working definition at least.”

“The meaning of altruism is clear.”

“What about duty and love?” Robyn asked. “As far as I know no one has been able to give a comprehensive account of either.”

“I will work on them.”

“Good luck with that. If I were you, I’d ask Javik and Garrus about duty.”

“Who should I ask about love?”

“Everyone,” Robyn said and thought about it. “You’re guaranteed to have some very interesting conversations.”

\--

Some hours later Robyn received a written message from EDI. It said:

“Shepard. I did as you suggested. I asked everyone I met, ‘What is love?’ Here are some of the answers I received:

Jeff started to sing, “Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more’ under his breath. I understand this is part of an old pop song.

Specialist Traynor said, “Er… It’s a warm feeling you get when you wake up in the morning and know that your day is better because you love someone.”

Doctor Chakwas said, “The reason to live, my dear.”

Garrus said, “Did Shepard put you up to this? I know she did. If she wants to know about Tali and I, she can ask herself.” I could not help but notice that he smiled when he said Tali’s name.

Liara said, “Something to look forward to.”

Thane said, “There are different kinds of loves for different people and different things that you hold dear. The love between a parent and a child, love between friends, love between lovers. There is the love of country, love of gods, love of pleasure… We already talked about it, did we not? What you love makes you who you are.”

Engineer Adams showed me pictures of his children and told me all about them. He is very proud of them.

Miss Allers said, “Usually a human interest story. Why?”

Javik said, “Chemical reactions that happen in an organic body. What does it matter?”

Lieutenant Cortez said, “Happiness and pain worth having.”

James said, “Something you just know, right?”

It appears that there is no consensus on the matter. I will continue my research into the it. EDI”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! Hope this one's better than the previous one...
> 
> Only a flesh wound http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OnlyAFleshWound
> 
> Joker is singing What is love by Haddaway. That seems like something he'd do.
> 
> I guess chapters would be different if I did some kind of planning beforehand, but that would be so boring and grown up. :P
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading and feedback! :)


	44. Never Make Shepard Mad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been waiting for this...

Robyn was fuming. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this angry. She was picturing the things she wanted to do the quarian envoys who’d just informed her that they’d started a war against the geth 17 days ago.

“That is a clear violation of your treaty with the council,” she said. “Not to mention incredibly thoughtless and ill-timed. The Reapers are coming to kill us all!”

“That’s all the more reason for us to reclaim our homeworld,” Admiral Gerrel stated. “The council can say what they want about it afterwards.”

“And how did that work out for us? We have lost countless lives and our liveships are at risk,” replied Admiral Koris.

The admirals continued bickering. Robyn tried to make out what the situation was. It appeared that the war had been going decently well until a Reaper signal had started broadcasting from a geth dreadnought. Its effects had left the quarians in serious trouble. The geth had gone after their liveships which they had brought into the war in their stupidity. Their people were in peril with no way out.

Robyn sighed. She didn’t like what was going on, but most of the quarians in the conflict were innocent of their leaders’ stupidity. They needed help and the Reaper war needed ships.

“The Normandy can get us to the dreadnought,” she said. “We can shut the signal which should allow you to retreat.”

“Thank you, commander,” Admiral Raan said sincerely. “We’ll help any way we can. You can discuss it with our newest admiral.”

Raan nodded at Tali.

“I’d be happy to,” said Robyn. “Good to see you again, Tali.”

“You too, Shepard.”

“If you have a moment, we can go talk about the mission.”

Tali nodded and they left the other quarians behind.

“Congrats on the promotion,” Robyn said. “Have you seen Garrus yet?”

“Briefly. I told him I’d come back after we settled all of this,” Tali answered. “It has all gone wrong. This war is so stupid, but I can’t say anything in public because we need to show a unified front.”

“So you and Koris opposed the war and the others were for it?” Robyn asked. “I have to say I thought Raan would have more sense than that.”

“It was because of Xen’s research. She came up with a revolutionary weapon. With it the opportunity was just too good to pass up,” Tali explained. “I understand them. I want to reclaim our home as much as they do, but I have seen what the Reapers do. This is not the right time to be waging a war on two fronts.”

Robyn nodded her agreement. They were silent for a while.

“I’m scared, Shepard,” Tali said and looked at Robyn. “I’m somewhat at fault. I sent many things to my father whose research Xen used to create the weapon that led us to this stupid war. We’ve lost so many people and we will lose many more before this is over. I’m afraid of messing up. I’m supposed to be an admiral, a person others look up to, but I feel like I’m only playing the part. Like I’m not an admiral, but an admiral’s daughter, who got promoted out of formality.”

“We both know that’s not true, Tali,” replied Robyn. “You have earned this. You have more experience with geth than any other quarian. You used to work with one and exchange information with him. You have knowledge, understanding, and empathy more than any warmonger could even dream of having.”

“I took the job because of… Well, you, Shepard. I thought what you’d do. I wanted to be able to influence decisions and help people as much as I could. I want to make things better.”

“You are a great person, Tali. Garrus is lucky to have you.”

“He keeps saying that.”

“Aww. You should go see him.”

“I will. When will we board the dreadnought?”

“Pretty soon. It’s not too far away.”

\--

“How are you doing, Shepard?” Joker’s voice asked.

“Fine. The lack of gravity is a little disorienting, but I can manage with my magnetized boots,” she replied.

Just then a part of the tube broke away and she came close to falling into space. There were some sounds of alarm from her com.

“Chill, guys, I’m fine,” she said. “But it looks like the rest of the team isn’t going to use this tube. I’ll find an airlock as soon as I get in.”

The rest of the walk was delightfully devoid of surprises and she managed to board the dreadnought and find an airlock to let Tali and Thane join her. Tali used a nearby console to figure out where they needed to go to shut the signal down. They downloaded the schematic into their omnitools and headed towards the drive core.

“It’s strange,” Tali said. “The inside seems like it has been modeled after quarian ships but with some modifications.”

“It has been built for synthetics, not organics,” Thane answered.

“It might be why it feels off in a way I cannot quite describe,” Robyn said. “That or it being a geth ship.”

A crackling announcement from their com told them that Admiral Koris’ ship had been shot down.

“Damn! Is he alive?”

“We’re not sure, commander,” Raan replied. “But you must continue.”

The good ones are always the first to go, Robyn thought to herself.

Some mobile platforms attacked them occasionally but it wasn’t a problem until they got into a hallway that had shockwaves sweeping through every time the big gun fired. If they failed to dock into cover when the wave passed, it fried their shields. The attacking geth had no similar troubles which made them a bitch to take down.

“This is annoying,” Robyn commented from behind a wall. “I can’t charge them because I need to be near a cover all the time. If I’d known this, I’d have brought a rifle.”

“I know what you mean,” said Tali before she popped out of cover to take down an attacking geth with her pistol.

The sound of Thane’s sniper rifle echoed in the space and a geth dropped from a nearby catwalk.

“Nice shot,” Robyn said. “I’m glad that you’re here with us, Thane. If you want to kill the rest, fell free.”

“I’d be happy to oblige,” he replied.

They managed to get away from the shockwaves unharmed only to have Robyn almost die in an elevator when a geth shot it down. Luckily she was quick. She ran towards the others and grabbed Tali’s hand before the platform fell into the shaft.

“I hope we’re done with elevators now,” Tali said and continued to the stairs.

Thane pulled Robyn quickly to his side and hummed anxiously. Robyn squeezed his hand and followed Tali.

The drive core looked like an Easter egg made out of Reaper tech. It contained a surprise, like Easter eggs do.

“Legion!”

“Shepard-Commander, Creator Zorah, Sere Krios. Hello.”

“What happened?”

Legion gave them the rundown of how he’d ended up where he was. When the quarians had attacked the geth, the Reapers had offered them assistance and they had agreed to take it.

I so want to rub Xen and Gerrel’s face in that, Robyn thought and said aloud: “Will the signal stop when let you off?”

“Yes.”

Legion told them how to open the bindings. He was free and clear in no time.

“Thank you. We disabled the ship’s defenses. The creators should be able to retreat to safety.”

“Something’s happened,” Raan said over the com. “The geth have stopped attacking.”

“They can’t do anything… This is our chance!” Gerrel yelled. “All ships! Attack!”

“What the fuck are you doing?! You were supposed to retreat! You can’t attack, we’re still in here,” Robyn protested into the com but got no reply.

The dreadnought shook.

“The creator fleet is attacking this ship,” Legion said. “And there are multiple mobile platforms closing our location. We suggest you prepare to fight.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

The ship kept rocking while Robyn, Tali, Thane, and Legion tried to take down the two primes and many smaller units that were attempting to kill them. Robyn saw red the entire time. If she lost someone in her team because of this, she was going to kill the bastard responsible. If she lost Thane because of this…

\--

Many people on the Normandy were going through similar emotions. EDI, Liara, and James had been able to lock Garrus in his quarters before he managed to rip into any and every quarian on board. He’d been so angry that there was no reasoning with him. His mate was in danger and he couldn’t do anything about it.

James had stayed back to lean against the door and keep Garrus company.

“Let me out!”

“No can do, amigo,” James said. “You’re too pissed to think clearly. Shepard will deal with those pendejos when she gets back.”

“What if she doesn’t get back? They are shooting at the ship they’re in! They could all die!”

“If they do, I’ll let you out and hand you a gun myself.”

There was a clang. James figured that Garrus had punched the door. Maybe to let out his anger, maybe in submission.

“You know as well as I do that Shepard wouldn’t let anything happen to them,” said James. “And she’s freaking pissed right now, you can tell by her voice.”

Garrus chuckled darkly.

“I bet. It’s not just her and Tali they jeopardized, it’s Thane. She’s going to go crazy,” he said in anticipation.

“Yeah, she’ll go medieval on their asses. Tell me you don’t want to see that.”

“Oh, I want to see it. I want to relish it. I want it immortalized on vid.”

“EDI, can you do that?” James asked. “Can you record whatever Shepard does to those sons of bitches?”

“Yes, I can. I’m looking forward to it,” EDI replied.

“As am I,” Joker agreed. “First we need to get them safely back. At least they’re all still alive – you can tell from the swear- -”

Joker paused to listen to something.

“What was that? What happened?” Garrus asked anxiously.

“Shepard fell a long way down because of the ship falling apart under her, but she is okay to run,” Joker answered. “Doctor Chakwas had better be ready for action as soon as they arrive.”

James shook his head.

“I have a feeling that you’ll have company on your rampage,” he said. “If they hurt Shepard, Thane’ll go ballistic.”

“I don’t know. Can you imagine him ballistic?”

“In a scenario where Shepard is hurt? Yeah, I can.”

“They’re off the dreadnought,” Joker announced.

“Are they safe? Is everyone alright?” Garrus asked.

“I can answer that as soon as we have them on board,” Joker replied. “It will take a while to spot them in the chaos that’s going on outside.”

They waited quietly for the confirmation. It seemed to take a long, long time.

“We’ve got them and they’re fine.”

\--

“Siha, you should go see the doctor, you took a bad fall.”

“In a minute, Thane. I have a more pressing matter to attend to before it,” Robyn said while she stripped her armor and put it away for cleanup. 

She, Thane, Tali, and Legion hurried into the elevator. No one said anything because everyone could tell how pissed the commander was. The door had hardly opened into the CIC when she rushed through it and into the war room. The quarian admirals turned to look at the arrivals.

“Shepard,” Gerrel started, “As a soldier you must understand- -“

He was cut off by Robyn punching him in the balls with all her strength. He made a desperate sound and doubled over on the floor.

“Get the fuck off my ship before I airlock you myself!” she yelled at him. He didn’t seem capable of moving himself, so a kind crewman helped him up and out of the room.

Robyn gave Raan and Xen a withering stare.

“What happened today will not be repeated. If it is, you will find yourself alone when the Reapers come for your ships. That is, if there are any left after the geth are done with them.”

“I’m sorry,” Raan said and would have continued but her gaze fell on Legion. “What is this? What is going on? Why is it here?”

“This is Legion. He is a valued member of my crew and helped bring down the Collectors.”

“It,” Raan corrected her.

“Right now he has more balls than Gerrel. Do we have a problem?”

“No problem. The possibilities for research are immeasurable. Think of all the things we could accomplish by studying it…” Xen said, fascinated.

“Absolutely not. Raise that subject again and you will find yourself keeping company to Gerrel. I have no patience with your bullshit right now,” Robyn stated. “The only fucking reasons for which I will keep helping you are your people and your fleet. We need your fleet to save all of our lives, including those of your people. If you’ll excuse me, I need to go get myself patched up because I was shot by my supposed allies.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish it was possible to punch Xen too, but no such luck.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback! :)


	45. Here's to Hoping

”This is going to smart a bit,” Karin said.

Robyn just nodded. She was still fuming but didn’t have the time to dwell on it. Admiral Koris was believed to be alive and she meant to keep him that way. The quarians needed level-headed leaders to balance out the insanity that had floated to the top.

“Not to be a pain but will this take long? I need to go to ground.”

Karin let out a meaningful sigh.

“Your health is not a matter to be trifled with, Shepard,” she said. “Your body needs rest to heal properly.”

“Isn’t that what medi-gel was invented for?” Robyn asked and looked at the doctor. “I’m sorry to be rushing you, Karin. I am thankful and I truly appreciate your efforts, but this is something I need to do as soon as possible.”

“I know,” Karin said and finished the dressing she’d been making. “That’s it, all done.”

“Thank you,” Robyn said and got redressed.

“A word of caution, commander,” Karin said before Robyn had time to leave. “If you do not take a break before it’s too late, I’ll stalk you with a sedative and make you take the rest you need. Your health is a matter of utmost importance for everyone.”

“That’s quite the mental image,” Robyn replied. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for caring.”

Robyn left the med bay and headed to the shuttle. She called EDI and Javik and told them to meet her there ASAP. They were going to Rannoch.

\--

Rannoch didn’t seem like anything special to Robyn, but it was not the home of her ancestors. She didn’t see the long lost homeworld, she saw a rocky, dry planet that had lots of geth and mines.

“I must say, I don’t see the fascination of this place,” she said out loud.

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” quoted EDI. “Sentimental value plays a considerable part in how sensory stimuli are interpreted.”

“That is irrational,” Javik opined.

“Emotion plays a- -“ EDI begun, but paused.

“EDI? Are you okay?”

“The jamming towers are affecting me. I’ve lost contact with Normandy,” she replied.

“Don’t worry, Joker will take good care of you,” Robyn assured her.

“I know, but the feeling of losing connection with oneself is… unpleasant.”

Chills ran through Robyn. “I can’t imagine.”

They encountered some resistance but were able to carry out their mission. They got the AA guns and the jamming tower offline. Only one member of the quarian team had lived long enough to tell them what had happened. Before he died he asked them to tell his son that his father had made it to the homeworld.

“Keelah se’lai, Dorn’Hazt,” Robyn said quietly. “Welcome home.”

Once the jamming was gone Robyn managed to reach Koris. He wanted them to save his people and leave him, but that was out of the question. The Civilian Fleet was in danger of dispersing into space if they didn’t get him back. It took all of Robyn’s powers of persuasion to convince Koris of his own importance. He gave his coordinates and they picked him up, though his crew was lost.

On the way to the Normandy Robyn studied the silent admiral. Was he a broken man or would he rally for his people? She didn’t envy him his job. Sure, hers was no walk in the park but at least she believed in the war she was engaged in. She hadn’t been forced into it by the stupidity of others.

“I’m sorry for the people you lost, admiral,” she said.

“As am I,” he replied. “I can only hope that their losses won’t be in vain. I have trouble shaking the feeling that I have no right to be alive when they all died.”

“I am the last surviving citizen of the Prothean empire. I am alone, but it is still better to be alive than dead,” Javik said.

Koris looked at him for some time. “You’re right. We are not done for yet.”

\--

“We find this development beautiful, indicative of life.”

Robyn looked at the image in front of her. Legion had been showing her and Raan the difference the Reaper code had made in the geth. They had become close to individual AIs.

“I agree,” Robyn admitted.

“Commander, you can’t be serious,” Raan protested.

“That, admiral, is what life looks like, regardless of the body it comes in. If there is a possibility to avoid the loss of life, I will take it,” Robyn stated. “We’ll need to shut down the geth server. That should make the fight easier. After that it’s time to take down the Reaper base.”

“As you wish, commander. It’s your operation.”

“It’s getting late. We hit the server tomorrow. Get some sleep people, we all need it,” Robyn said. “Except for you of course, Legion. You do whatever it is you feel like doing.”

“Thank you, Shepard-Commander. We wish you a refreshing night cycle.”

Robyn went to the cabin to find Thane reading on the sofa. He was wearing only the loose pants he usually wore to bed. She walked by him and kissed the top of his head on her way to the drawers that contained her clothes. She took off her shirt and bra and smiled at the wonderful feeling of getting rid of her dirty clothes. A distressed sound made her look at Thane over her shoulder.

“Is something wrong?” she asked.

“Siha, your body…”

Robyn looked down at her torso. She was covered in bruises and dressing.

“It looks worse than it is,” she promised. “Karin took care of me and gave me a good dose of meds. I’m fine, just need some decent sleep and I’ll be as good as new.”

Thane looked disapproving. He didn’t say anything but Robyn could tell what he was thinking.

“We had to get Koris. He and Tali are the only voices of reason in a pool of idiots. If we had delayed the pickup he would have been dead. You should have seen the horde of geth I had to gun down in order to get to him,” she said while stripping away her pants.

Robyn was about to open a drawer when she felt Thane’s hands on her hips. He slipped her panties off, leaving her standing naked in front of him.

“Stay still,” he said and she obeyed. His hands left her hips to yank his sleeping pants away.

Thane pushed his knee between her legs and said, “Wider.” She obeyed. She could feel the tip of his erection rubbing her folds, getting wet with her juices. Thane purred. His hands traveled on her body, very careful of her bruises and scrapes. She was longing for so much more than the tentative touches.

“Thane, please, more! I can’t wait any longer!”

But he kept teasing her. She tried grabbing him, but their position didn’t allow that and he wouldn’t let her turn around. She tried pushing into him and rubbing herself against him. That brought more intensity to his purr, but he kept his slow torture going. She needed to do something else.

“You know you want to take me,” she said, her voice hoarse. “You want to be inside me, to make me crazy with need and pleasure. You want to move inside me, rub your ridges against my opening, making me scream like only you can. You want to fuck me and mark me and love me. You want to- -“

She was cut off by a powerful thrust that plunged him deep into her. It felt so good she couldn’t say anything.

“Do go on,” he murmured into her ear.

“Tshchng,” was all she could manage. He laughed that deep laugh of his.

“I was upset that it took you so long to come back home,” he said and rubbed her clit to keep her incoherent with pleasure. “You should have known that this was a special occasion, I would have preferred not to postpone it.”

“Whasht?”

“No matter what, we were due to have ‘you almost died today’ sex. Which is what we will do now. Are you ready?”

“Esh.”

“Good,” he said and continued to make love to her like there was no tomorrow.

\--

Robyn turned the treadmill on and jumped onto it. A deep male voice was screaming to the accompaniment of electric instruments in her ears. After some warm-up she speeded up the pace to a proper run because that was what she needed after the day she’d had.

Entering the geth consensus had been… She didn’t have a word for it. On the one hand, it had been fascinating to see a version of the world according to the geth, even a filtered one. She didn’t have the mental capacity to imagine what it would be like to be so connected with others of her species. She liked her liberty and the ability to make her own choices. The geth needed a consensus for everything.

On the other hand, she had entered the consensus to get mobile platforms offline. It had been akin to wiping out a city. It had been horrible but, like had Legion said, it had to be done. At least she hadn’t been there to look at the platforms going offline; the quarians had experience that and been very pleased indeed.

When she had been inside the consensus, she’d seen the history of geth and quarians as geth remembered it. It had left an impression that would never fade away. It had also showed what she’d suspected before – the same history according to the quarians was different. Robyn’s sympathies were strongly on the side of the geth and the quarians who had been killed because they’d stood with the geth.

Robyn ran on, replaying memories of what she’d seen. The Morning War seemed absolutely crazy when you saw it from the perspective of the geth. They had done nothing wrong. They had done everything in their power to be helpful and obedient. They had not started the hostility or the martial law. They could not understand why the creators attacked them. The only reason they took up arms was to protect themselves and others.

Robyn was pretty sure that one of the old memories she’d seen had been of Legion. A geth platform had picked up a sniper rifle similar to the one Legion used to carry. It had defended itself and several agricultural units that had been following it. That did sound like Legion.

As the memories had continued, it had become apparent why the quarians who had opposed martial law had been outnumbered – they’d been killed. They had been disgraced and forgotten by their own people, but the geth remembered. Despite all that, the fact that there still were quarians was because the geth had let them go. They had not known what would happen if they wiped out an entire race, so they had chosen not to.

“Hope sustains organics during times of great difficulty,” Legion had said. “We… admire the concept.” The geth were learning from organics. They were learning to hope. How could the quarians look at them and see inferior beings? They had a community, they were logical, they consulted each other, they took care of each other, they felt gratitude… Fuck, that was more than could be said about most organics.

Robyn realized that a tear was running down her cheek.

\--

“Shepard? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, everything is fine, Tali. I’m sorry to bother you this late, but I need to talk to you about geth,” Robyn said.

The line was silent for a moment. 

“Okay. Where do you want to meet?” Tali asked.

“Kasumi’s former room has a bar.”

“Done. I’ll see you there.”

The women met at the door and stepped inside. They made themselves drinks and sat down on the couch.

“You look serious,” Tali observed. “Is this about today? What you saw in the geth consensus?”

“Yeah.”

And then Robyn told her what she’d seen. She shared the memories and the timestamps she could remember. Tali listened to her silently and took it all in. Every once in a while she looked like she wanted to ask something, but held her tongue and sipped her drink instead.

“Keelah,” Tali said when Robyn finally fell silent.

“I know.”

“I can’t believe… I mean… I don’t know what to say.”

“I know, Tali.”

They stared out of the window in deep thought.

“We really are a bunch of bosh’tets, aren’t we?” Tali said and shook her head.

“Your words, not mine.”

“None of this would have happened if we had talked to the geth instead of lording over them and shooting at them,” Tali went on. “And they still spared our lives.”

“They only fought to protect themselves. Just like now. They didn’t get the Reaper upgrades until you attacked them.”

“When this is over… Do you think… Would it be possible for others to see these memories as well? I think my people should know our own history as it truly happened.”

“I don’t know. Legion stored the server in several prime units,” Robyn said. “I believe the memories still exist. At least Legion should have them.”

Another silence followed. Robyn thought about the two groups that were fighting for a planet that was dear to both.

“You know… I think that if you talked to the geth and agreed to cooperate with them, they would share Rannoch with you,” she said.

“And we could move back home without anyone dying,” Tali said dreamily. “I hope you’re right, Shepard.”

“Here’s to hoping,” Robyn said and raised her glass. “That’s a concept even the geth admire.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the trip into the geth consensus. The history told by the memories is so touching I almost cried the first time I saw it (I'm a softy, I know). Like I've remarked before, my sympathies are strongly in favor of the geth. Possibly because I've only played ME1 once, an experience which made me hate the mako, not geth. The first time I played ME3 I had to choose between geth and quarians. I picked the geth which ended up with Tali killing herself because my hand wasn't on the mouse to stop her. Now I have enough Paragon points to keep that from happening, so not to worry.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback :)


	46. Love Your Loonies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I had a long and tough week at work.

”Living room window will be right… here,” Tali said, looking through the square she’d made with her fingers.

“What are you doing?” Robyn asked.

“I just claimed the land,” her friend replied.

“I can’t imagine what it’s like to reclaim your home,” Robyn said. “I’ve never lived on Earth, so it doesn’t hold that much meaning to me. Mindoir… It stopped being home when my family died. Quarians have lived as nomads for centuries. Do you think you could feel comfortable settling down and being still?”

“We are used to having our homes with us, it’s true,” Tali admitted.

Robyn looked around, picked up a rock, and handed it to Tali.

“You can start with this piece.”

“I shall. Thank you, Shepard.”

The mission had just begun, but it had already been a strange one. A few years back Robyn would have been hard pressed to believe that an AI could feel shame, but Legion had. And now Tali was planning a home on this desolate piece of rock. Killing the heretics seemed like the easiest thing they had to do on this particular trip. Even that felt subtly off now. It was like shooting husks. Reapers had made geth into their creatures like they had done to so many organic races. They corrupted everything into a mockery of its old self.

When the last enemies lied inanimate on the ground, Robyn picked up the targeting laser and headed out. She took a stance and focused the laser on the Reaper base. It took a while but the following boom was mighty. The blast threw her off her footing and she landed on her ass, her ears ringing. She was struggling up when Liara’s voice cut through the air.

“A Reaper! Run!”

Robyn grabbed the laser and rushed to follow the others to the hover craft Legion had secured. They took to the air. The craft had a handy turret which Robyn took out and opened fire on the Reaper that was focusing on them. She didn’t think she’d make a dent in it, but suddenly the bullets hit home.

“It has a weak spot! It’s vulnerable when it’s focusing its beam!” she yelled. “That’s it, we aren’t running from this fucker, we’ll sink it now! Legion, take us down. EDI, sync up the entire fleet with Normandy’s targeting system. I’ll mark the spot with the laser.”

“Shepard!” Tali and Liara yelled at her, but she was already far ahead, sprinting towards the Reaper. She had its full attention.

\--

“Shepard!”

The cockpit echoed with Thane’s distressed voice. The rest of the ground team had been following the mission feeds with Joker. They looked in horror at the vid feed from Shepard’s headcam. 

“A commander’s move,” Javik said approvingly. He and EDI were the only ones who seemed reasonably undisturbed by what was happening.

“Damn, Shepard has some balls,” James said.

“Let’s hope her gamble works,” Garrus replied in clipped tones.

Thane simply stared and prayed. He wished he could have closed his eyes and reverted to a memory or shifted into a different reality, but he could not. He had to watch the Reaper move closer and closer to his siha. He had to watch the beam targeting her and missing her by mere inches.

“Almost there, Shepard,” EDI said.

The movement stopped for a fraction too long while Shepard aimed at the beam. It cut so close Thane held his breath, afraid that the feed would be lost, telling him of her death. But it kept going and moving with Shepard. She paused to aim once more. There was an audible click that was followed by the entire force of the quarian fleet hitting the Reaper where it hurt. It went down and stayed down. Thane passed out.

\--

Robyn stared Legion’s empty platform with unseeing eyes. What a crazy, fucked up day. How was one supposed to feel after a day like this? Tali got her home back, they killed a Reaper, she stopped a war, her friend died to save his people. Qurians and geth were working together after centuries of hostility.

She walked to a cliff and sat down on the edge. Tali and Liara sat down next to her.

“I never thought I’d say this, but I’m mourning a geth,” Tali said. “We can move here, we’ll accomplish so much, we killed a Reaper today, and still I’m mourning a geth.”

“Legion wasn’t just any geth, he was our friend,” Robyn said.

“What Legion did in the end… It was extraordinary,” Liara said.

“I know,” Robyn said. She wrapped her arms around her friends and pulled them closer. She leaned her head against Tali’s. “I’m so sick and tired of losing friends.”

“I know, Shepard,” Liara said. “I know.”

“We really need to kill the Reapers. Every last one of them,” Robyn said. “Their delusion of saving us from ourselves by killing us is insane.”

“Is that what it said to you?” Liara asked.

“Yes. They think they’re the solution to the chaos organics create. They want to end the war between organics and synthetics by killing everyone. There is no war and no chaos when there is no one left to cause it.”

“There is logic to that,” Liara pointed out. “A cold one, but logic none the less.”

“It is a numbers sort of an answer,” Robyn said. “Thought up by someone who couldn’t think outside the box. Who was not familiar with the variables of real life. It is a clean cut solution, sure, but there is no empathy in it. No one who is truly alive would think of such a thing unless they thought themselves exempt from it.”

“Like a Reaper,” Tali said.

“And whatever or whoever created them,” Robyn said. “They didn’t come out of nowhere.”

The women stared at the scenery in silence, absorbed by their own thoughts.

“You are going to need a big house, Tali,” Robyn said.

“How so?”

“For Garrus to stomp around in. He’s not known for his gracefulness.”

“You think I could convince him to move here and leave the Normandy?”

“You only need to see him when he looks at you to be certain you could convince him to do anything you wanted,” Robyn replied.

“She’s right,” Liara agreed.

Tali giggled.

Robyn’s omnitool pinged.

“What is it, Joker?”

“Er, you might want to get up here. We have a… Let’s not call it a situation. We have a happenstance.”

“A happenstance?” Robyn asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes. One of those things, you know?”

“I really don’t,” Robyn said with a sigh and got up. “It requires my attention?”

“Your attention is not required but would be appreciated,” Joker said carefully.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather tell me what’s going on?” Robyn asked.

“Positive,” he replied.

“That was unusual,” Liara said. “I don’t remember him being that dodgy before except for when he was talking to politicians.”

“I’m curious to see what had him dancing on quicksand,” Robyn said. “Let’s get back up there.”

\--

Thane opened his eyes.

“Welcome back.”

Shepard was standing next to the bed he was on. They were in the med bay. He remembered being in the cockpit and seeing her escaping death. He must have fainted because he had no recollection of getting to the med bay or of her return. 

Thane sat up and pulled her to him. He buried his face into her hair and enjoyed her scent and feel. He listened to her heartbeat to assure himself that she was fine.

“Did I…?”

“Pass out like a damsel in distress? Yes, you did. I was about to kiss you to wake you up, but you managed that on your own. Maybe you lack genre savviness.”

He chuckled but didn’t let go of her.

“I already checked with Karin, by the way. This had nothing to do with Kepral’s, that is gone for good. You are fine. She thinks you passed out because you forgot to breathe. Humans can’t make themselves pass out by holding their breath, but I guess drell are different.”

“I saw you with the Reaper,” he said. Saying it made him recall the event, but his mind rebelled and he shoved the image quickly away. He didn’t want to relive it.

“We took it down. Just our fleet, no thresher maw,” she said. “We can win this war, I know it. As long as we work together, we can take those crazy bastards down.”

Thane loosened his hold of her and she sat down on the bed.

“I want you there when we win this. I need you there,” she said. “Which means that you need to take better care of yourself. You need to eat and rest properly.”

He chuckled and caressed her face.

“What’s so funny?” she asked.

“I think this is the definition of the pot calling the kettle black.”

“I have yet to faint like a wilting daisy.”

“You have gone weak at the knees many a time,” Thane replied.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yes. I can make that happen any time I choose.”

“I’ll take that bet,” she said and stood up. “Bring it on, mister.”

Thane grinned at her. He got off the bed, stood up, and put his arm around her.

“I don’t want you to hurt yourself when you feel faint,” he explained. Then he bent down to whisper into her ear. He enjoyed the changing expressions on her face. Blush crept up soon, her pupils dilated, and her breath hitched. Shortly after her knees buckled and he had to hold more of her weight to keep her from falling.

“What did I tell you,” he said smugly.

“Fssthp.”

Thane laughed and kissed his incoherent siha.

“Why don’t we go upstairs so that I can show you that I am a man of my word?”

“Yes, please!”

\--

“I can’t believe Thane fainted like that,” Joker said.

“If you give him crap about that, it will not end well for you,” Robyn said. “We are all tired and need a couple of days to ourselves.”

“Shore leave?” Joker asked hopefully.

“Yeah, that means shore leave.”

“Where?”

Robyn leaned back in the copilot’s chair.

“Anderson gave me the run of his pad in the Citadel. I’ve been meaning to go but we haven’t had the time. I think we’ve all earned a few days of R & R. Plus, the asari councilor wants to meet with me. I can do that after we relax a little.”

“Shore leave on the Citadel,” Joker said pensively. “Sounds perfect. Too perfect. Something is bound to go wrong.”

“Tch, tch, so negative,” Robyn said. “Shouldn’t shore leave bring only happy images in the minds of normal people?”

“Point out a normal person on the Normandy and I’ll buy you a Black Widow.”

“What would I do with a Black Widow?”

“Kill Reapers?”

“I’m not a sniper. But I could give it to Thane. He’d be pleased.”

“You forget that you need to find a normal person on this ship to get it.”

“Traynor?” Robyn suggested.

“Toothbrush.”

“Chakwas?”

“Kissed a Prothean.”

“Cortez?”

“Has never seen Star Wars.”

“Adams?”

“Collects cat paraphernalia.”

There was a silence. How Joker knew all this was a mystery to Robyn but she knew better than to question his knowledge. He had EDI, after all, and EDI knew nigh everything.

“I may need a minute to think,” she said.

“A minute is not going to be enough,” Joker said. “Admit that we’re a bunch of oddballs.”

“Doesn’t matter. I love my loonies.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and feedback! :)


	47. Shore Leave Sucks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter (and probably a couple more after this) contains spoilers for the Citadel DLC.

”I hope those are bulletproof,” Thane said and Robyn nodded.

The huge windows were the first thing they had noticed when they’d stepped into Anderson’s apartment. They represented the most obvious threat. A sniper, a shooter in a shuttle… It would be easy to take out anyone who ventured to spend time next to the windows. Thane went to examine the glass further.

“It’s safe,” he said. “But we should still be careful.”

Robyn turned around to take in the flat. It was gigantic, bigger than their entire house on Mindoir. Why would anyone need this much space? It was nice, though. There was a fireplace, a bar, a kitchen, even a hot tub.

“I should call Anderson to say thanks for letting us hang out in here,” she said.

Traynor put her through and she had a short chat with the admiral. After it she found that she was now the owner of the apartment. This belonged to her. She could make a home here with Thane. It would be waiting for them when the war was over.

“Thane?”

“Yes, siha?” his voice replied from the bedroom.

“This is our home now.”

“Excuse me?”

“Anderson. He gave this place to us. We own it.”

“Why would he do that?” he asked. He was descending the stairs, looking doubtful.

“He said Kahlee wanted them to settle down here but he was unwilling to leave Earth,” Robyn explained. “Anderson is well off, I knew that. A place like this wouldn’t make a dent in his holdings. He is a friend and he wants me to have a place to call my own, and some time to rest and relax. What’s mine is yours, so this is our home.”

Thane was silent as he considered what she’d said. She waited for his smile that would tell her that he was on board. When it came, she took hold of his hand and pulled him towards the door.

“Come on, we did this all wrong,” she said.

“Where are we going?”

She opened the door and took him with her into the hallway. 

“I need you to carry me back inside,” she said.

“Why? Are you feeling ill?”

“No, it’s an old human custom. When a young couple enters their new home for the first time, one carries the other over the threshold,” Robyn explained. “It’s a tradition.”

“Do we still count as a young couple?” Thane asked in a jesting tone. 

“Smartass,” Robyn said and punched his shoulder gently. “I say we’re young as long as either of us can carry the other. Are you going to pick me up or do you want me to carry you, oh my wilting flower?”

Thane chuckled and whisked her off her feet in an instant. He carried her back into the flat and closed the door behind them.

“This is a silly custom,” he said.

“Many are,” Robyn replied. “Which makes me all the more grateful that you agreed to do it.”

“Anything to make you happy,” he replied and kissed her.

“You can put me down now,” she said after the kiss.

“Not yet,” he replied and headed towards the bedroom.

\--

“Commander Shepard, I’m Staff Analyst Maya Brooks. Alliance, excuse me, Alliance Intelligence. There are people trying to kill you!”

Robyn and Joker shared a look.

“Gee whiz, really?” Robyn asked. “What clued you in?”

It took Brooks a moment to gather her bearings and explain about someone trying to hack Robyn’s account and records and whatnot. Her explanation was cut short by the arrival of a merc band.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight’s performance is brought to you by random acts of violence,” the leader of the mercs announced and opened fire.

“Random my ass,” Robyn grunted and turned a table to shield them from the fire.

“I told you something like this was bound to happen,” Joker said. “We shouldn’t have left the Normandy.”

“Yeah, yeah. Why don’t you sneak out and get us some backup? I’ll keep them distracted.”

“In that dress? What are you going to do? Show them some leg?”

“If that’s what it takes,” she said. “Go!”

She grabbed one of the mercs over the table and disarmed him. He had only a pistol on him, but that was better than no gun at all. She was still in her fucking dress, though. She hated fighting with insufficient gear. The pistol was effective for a toy gun, sure, but she missed her shotgun. She picked the mercs off one by one, taking cover behind tables and the bar counter. She made her way to Brooks to help her to her feet. Someone shot them and the flurry off events ended up with Robyn falling through the floor in a shower of water and rare fish. 

Robyn fell a long way down until there was a solid floor. She hurt allover, but got up all the same and grabbed the pistol that had fallen with her. 

“Shore leave sucks,” she said out loud and began to make her way onwards.

Brooks and Liara called once in a while to let her know what was going on. Robyn took down merc patrols as she ran into them – as much as one can be said to run anywhere when one is wearing heels. Robyn cursed when she almost turned her ankle in the damned things. Why had she let Thane talk her into wearing them? Sure, the payout was going to be good, but that didn’t warm her mind when a heel got stuck in a grate.

“Having a bad day, Shepard?” asked Liara, who’d come to meet her near the landing pad.

“Sorry to say it, but this seems like just another day in my life,” Robyn said and sighed. “Usually I get to have a real gun when I do this, though.”

“That’s a pretty dress,” Liara said. “It goes well with your ‘fell through the aquarium’ look.”

“Hah, hah,” Robyn said drily and rolled her eyes. “Let’s go.”

They got to the landing zone to meet the C-Sec shuttle. As the door opened, it revealed not C-Sec but mercs who opened fire on them. Robyn pushed Liara down with her, out of harm’s way.

“What are we going to- -“ Liara’s question was cut by a mighty roar from above them.

Wrex jumped on the shuttle, bringing it down onto the platform with his momentum. He landed on the platform and rushed into the shuttle full of mercs. It started to shake as the laughing krogan rampaged inside, throwing mercs around and out. When the mercs were gone, Wrex stepped coolly back onto the platform.

“Wrex? What are you doing here?” Robyn asked.

“Ah, just budding heads with the Council over krogan expansion,” he replied as he bent down to loot a gun from one of the dead mercs. “Here, you take this,” he said and tossed the gun casually to Robyn.

“A real gun? I could kiss you!” Robyn enthused.

“It’s just a gun, Shepard. I’d rather not have your drell come after me for revenge for handing you a gun.”

“Next time you do the running around in skimpy dress and screw-me-heels with only a pistol and then you tell me if it’s just a gun,” Robyn said and hugged the rifle.

Liara chuckled.

“I don’t see that happening,” Wrex replied.

“No one saw geth and quarians making peace and look what happened,” Robyn said. “The galaxy is full of possibilities.”

That was when the mercs deemed it wise to open fire on them and Robyn got to test her new gun. It wasn’t half bad but no match to her shotgun. Joker called her to confirm a pickup for them. They got away and gathered at their new apartment where everyone had already been summoned. Thane met them at the door.

“Are you hurt?” he asked, looking concerned.

“No, I’m fine. I’ll change and meet you down here in a sec,” Robyn replied and gave him a quick kiss in passing.

A strategy meeting took place. No one had recognized the mercs who’d been well equipped and connected enough to have C-Sec shuttles at their disposal. Robyn suggested calling Bailey but Brooks pointed out that contacting him would make him a target too and everyone agreed. They decided to continue on their own for the time being. Brooks explained how she’d got involved in the whole thing when she’d discovered someone hacking Robyn’s personal files. Liara thought she could find out something about the pistol Robyn had picked up and set to work.

“So what was it, Shepard? Five minutes before someone started shooting at you?” Garrus asked Robyn when she was making the rounds.

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” she replied and leaned on the railing next to him. “Just my luck, I guess.”

“At least we get this cool secret hideout to hang out in… unless the bad guys look in the window.”

“Good thing it’s bulletproof,” she said. “That was the first thing Thane checked when we walked in.”

“Are you going to keep this place?” Garrus asked. “It has some security issues, you know.”

“The whole galaxy has some security issues right now. But yeah,” Robyn said and looked around, “I think we’ll keep this. But I feel guilty having all this space when so many have none.”

Garrus glanced at her. “You know you can’t take refugees in here. You have too many enemies, like the events of today prove. You can’t afford to trust people you don’t know to keep the location of your home hidden.”

“I know,” Robyn said and sighed. She looked at Brooks, who was discussing something with Liara. “I need a word with Thane. I’ll see you later.”

She went to look for Thane and came across Javik on the way.

“Commander, in my cycle when we fled combat by falling through tanks containing aquatic animals, we usually…Oh. Right. We never did. You are a trailblazer,” he said and laughed.

Robyn couldn’t help it, she had to laugh, too. Javik was surprisingly funny for such an old soldier. She left him to his amusement and located Thane. She pulled him aside for a chat.

“Thane, I need you to do some digging,” she said. “I’d ask Liara but she is otherwise engaged.”

“What would you like me to find out?”

“Brooks,” Robyn said. “She is too over the top. I don’t know her, I don’t trust her, I haven’t seen her credentials, but she already knows where we live. Secrecy is the only security measure this place has going for it. I need to know if she is trustworthy or if this is all some sort of an act.”

Thane nodded. “Very well. I will look into this, siha.”

“Thank you. There will be a mission soon. This side project means that I won’t be able to include you in it, but we have lots of people willing to help so that shouldn’t be a problem. I don’t want to be blindsided by people who are supposed to be my allies. Again,” she said with a black thought for Gerrel.

“Alright, I’ll get right on it,” he replied. “Discreetly.”

“You’re the best,” she said and kissed him. “I have to go see if Liara has found anything.”

\--

“I hate this shit,” Robyn mumbled to James who was standing next to her, listening to the politician yammer on.

“You don’t like parties, Shepard?”

“Not ones like this,” she replied. “I like parties with my friends, not formal gatherings where I need to make nice with politicians and gun runners and whatnot. I’m not an infiltrator, I’m a vanguard. I prefer to face my problems head on instead of sneaking on them.”

“I get that,” James replied. “I’m not much of a sneaker myself.”

“What a great team we make for this particular op then,” Robyn said and James laughed. “I wish Kasumi was here to help. She’d be right at home in this setting.”

“She was with you on the suicide run?”

“Yes, she was our master thief. This reminds me of the gig I did with her. We infiltrated a party hosted by a gun smuggler by the name of Donovan Hock. It went south, as things tend to when I’m in the picture.”

“Shepard, I have a problem,” Brooks’ voice informed them.

“Like I said,” Robyn sighed. “What is it, Brooks?”

Robyn didn’t enjoy their trip to the casino at all. Hacking cameras and distracting guards was not her cup of tea. She would much rather have gone in guns blazing and held Khan hostage to get the information she wanted. True, she got to chat a lot with the turian Robin Hood, Rolan Quarn, who was a self-proclaimed con artist and had a pleasant voice. If it wasn’t for Thane, she would have taken that man home. But as things stood, even his charms were nothing compared to the wonderful drell who was waiting for her at home.

It turned out that they might as well have done things Robyn’s way and the end result would have been the same – Khan was dead. He’d been killed before they got to him. The killer had set his terminal to erase its records. The comm had not been erased and Robyn was able to contact the last person who’d called. A shaky call opened to the identity thief. Robyn tried to find out why they were out to get her.

“I’m going to take everything you have and everything you are,” the modified voice threatened and cut the connection.

“Slippery, arrogant bugger,” Robyn said. “Let’s grab the data drives and go. The sooner we get those to EDI, the sooner we get rid of this charade and get back to shore leave.”

“Aren’t you mad that someone is trying to pose as you?” James asked.

“Hey, if they want to go out there to save the galaxy instead of me, they are welcome to it. I’d be happy to retire tomorrow if it was an option,” Robyn said.

“I don’t think that is part of the plan,” James replied.

“Neither do I and it pisses me off. There’s a war going on and still some ass is making us do bullshit like this on our shore leave. I’m going to find them and I’m going to hurt them.”

“Count me in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like this DLC. It's such fan service all the way :)
> 
> What I don't like are pistols. They seem so inefficient when one is used to assault rifles and sniper rifles (my preference in multiplayer) or shotguns (those I use when I play this career).
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback! More Citadel stuff to follow.


	48. The Bitter End

”What did you find out?” Robyn asked.

She’d pulled Thane aside as soon as they’d got back to the apartment. How things had gone down at the casino had done nothing to put her suspicions to rest.

“Not much,” Thane replied. “And that speaks volumes.”

“She’s pro enough to cover her tracks, whoever she is,” Robyn finished his thought. “You don’t think she’s Alliance?”

“I’m certain she is not. I have been unable to find out who she is but I think it safe to assume that we cannot trust her. She appeared when these troubles started.”

Robyn nodded. “She could be working with those mercs.”

“Do you want me to keep digging?”

“Shepard, I found something,” EDI called out.

“Hold that thought,” Robyn said to Thane.

EDI had found an encrypted transmission from the drives they had recovered. The mercs had bought of lot of weapons, big ones. When the crew was going over the files, Glyph flew around to hover over the table.

“It appears this drone is preparing to rebel,” Javik said.

“Oh? We should get it a nice little pitchfork then,” Robyn replied.

“What’s that?” Wrex asked.

Thane pulled up an image of one from the extranet. “An old-fashioned human weapon, also used in agriculture.”

“What would a drone use such an old-fashioned weapon for?” Javik asked.

“Never mind, it was a joke. I think Glyph would look cute with a pitchfork,” Robyn said. “Anyway – Glyph, you had something to share?”

“I have just monitored the commander’s Spectre access code in use at the Citadel Archives,” Glyph informed them.

The archives were in lockdown which meant that the perpetrator was inside as they spoke. They pulled out the schematics of the place.

“These archives are huge,” Brooks said. “You’ll have a lot of ground to cover. Shame you can’t bring everyone.”

“Who says we can’t?” Robyn asked. “All hands on deck for this one.”

Because it is probably a trap, she continued in the privacy of her own head. A glance at Thane was enough to confirm that he thought the same. Robyn didn’t like the idea of walking into a trap but it was better than sneaking around, trying to infiltrate stuff, so…

“Yeah, but… uh… who gets to take point with you?” James asked.

There was lots of clearing throats. Maybe they were all getting the flu?

“The first ‘ahems’ have it,” Robyn said. “Wrex and Javik are coming with me. The rest of you – form two teams and get your things. We roll out in five.”

Robyn signaled to Thane. They met in the bedroom to get some things for the mission.

“You’d better come with us or Brooks will be suspicious,” she said. “You could ask Feron to look into her. He’s trustworthy and he has the skills.”

Robyn watched Thane as he thought her suggestion over. She knew he wasn’t particularly fond of Feron but he also didn’t like being blindsided.

“You might be right,” he said at last. “They are forcing our hand. Maybe Feron can dig up something in the comfort of his own home while we walk into this trap.”

Robyn laughed and kissed him. “That’s the optimistic assassin I know and love.”

Thane shook his head at her. “You go ahead. I’ll make the call.”

\--

“Not this again!” Robyn groaned and took cover behind a wall before she was shot. “When I was young, shore leave meant not getting shot at!”

“What’s the fun in that?” Wrex asked. He was shooting at the terrified mercs and clearly having a grand old time. “In the old days we had at least five minutes before a mission went south.”

“Does that mean that we’re improving with age?” Robyn asked. “Or getting better at pissing people off?”

“Definitely the last one,” Wrex replied and Robyn could hear his laughter over the sounds of battle.

“Shepard brought the whole crew!” one merc shouted.

“Shit! They have a krogan!” one of the mercs yelled into his com. “Why don’t we have a krogan?”

“You wouldn’t know what to do with a krogan!”

“I think the turian they have is the Archangel. How are we supposed to kill him?” another merc despaired.

“You’re not!” Garrus yelled back.

“That’s enough!” someone hollered from the catwalk. “Drop your weapons or this won’t end well for her.”

She was holding Brooks. That was a tough one. Robyn would have no problem with the new player shooting Brooks but she was curious as to what they hoped to gain by this. Giving up their weapons would only slow her crew down, not stop them, so she decided to play along.

“All right,” she said and put her gun down. Brooks was released. “Whatever you think you’re getting away with, there’s nowhere you can run, nowhere you can hide where we can’t find you.”

“Hide? Why?” the woman asked and walked into the light. “I’m Commander Shepard. I never hide.”

Robyn felt ill. The woman looked exactly like her. Or what she would look like if she was incredibly bitter.

“Uh-huh. So that’s how it’s going to be,” Wrex said.

The fake jumped down from the catwalk and landed in front of them.

“You’re not Commander Shepard. I don’t say shit like that,” Robyn said. “Who are you?”

“You weren’t the only Shepard that Cerberus brought back to life, but at least one of us will finally do something with it,” she replied.

“Where did you come from?”

“The same DNA as you.”

“A clone,” Javik concluded.

“Cerberus spared no expense resurrecting you. With me…” she said, bitterly. “I was created for spare parts in case you needed another arm, or a heart, or a lung.”

“I get that you’re sour but why are you here? Where have you been this whole time?”

“In a coma… Until I woke up six months ago. While you were in a jail cell on Earth, I was learning to be human.”

“And to finish your training you decided to go for identity theft and murder?” Robyn asked with a raised eyebrow. Whoever this woman was, it was not her. Sure, they could share DNA, but not much else. “Why are you fighting us? If you really were me, we’d be on the same team.”

“We’re not even in the same league,” the clone replied.

“You got that right,” Wrex agreed.

“Did the Illusive Man send you? That fucker is working on my last nerve.”

“No. He abandoned me when he had what he wanted. You.”

“Then why try to kill us?” Javik asked.

“Because I don’t have her memories,” the clone replied. “I’d never fool my supposed friends… The ones who abandoned their duty to join the cult of Shepard. Like you, Urdnot Wrex – you were a real krogan, a leader! You’ve become a mushy politician, bending this way and that to advance your cause.”

“And you’re just a pale imitation of the real thing!” Wrex groaned.

“I’m the real thing perfected,” she said. “I’m you without the wear and tear, Shepard. The doubts, the failures. I’m the lone wolf you were always meant to be without the emotional baggage holding me back.”

“Emotions make you a person,” Robyn pointed out. “If you don’t get that, you aren’t one.”

“No one will ever believe you’re Shepard,” Wrex stated.

“They will when I’m flying her ship.”

Shit went south from there. In all the chaos and bullets flying through the air Robyn found comfort and amusement from Glyph’s situation coverage and attempts to dishearten the opponents. All in all, it ended with Robyn, Wrex, and Javik sealed up in a vault and watching the clone saunter away with Brooks to take control of the Normandy.

“Refresh my memory,” Wrex said. “Didn’t we used to win these things back in the old days?”

“Okay, I know she said otherwise, but I refuse to admit that racist ass shares my DNA!” Robyn ranted. “And she’s trying to steal my ship? The nerve!”

“I’d hate to impose on your ponderings about the nature of your clone, but maybe we should be worrying about the impregnable vault we’ve been sealed inside forever,” Javik said.

“Seriously. She said she’d learned to be human. Whoever taught her didn’t do a very thorough job,” Robyn went on.

“Probably not a lot of air in here, either. An hour, if we’re lucky,” Javik continued.

“Maybe they just taught her to use utensils and shoot a gun and skipped the ethics? I wonder – can she ride a bike? Can she swim? Maybe I could lure her to a place with water and find out…”

“Commander! Why aren’t you more concerned about this?” Javik asked. “Our mission isn’t finished. We cannot simply go and suffocate yet. We need to defeat the Reapers!”

“Hmm? Oh, Glyph, you still out there?” Robyn asked.

“Yes, commander,” came the reply.

“Unlock this damned thing, and go find the others. No one steals my ship. Not even me!”

\--

They had to fight their way into the Normandy and all the way to the clone. It felt all wrong to shoot inside the ship and fighting the clone was bizarre beyond description. Robyn had never thought at length how annoying vanguards had to feel to their opponents. You never knew when you were getting jumped on and they just kept coming; there was no respite. Biotics, shooting, fists, more biotics… The unsteady flying didn’t make the process any easier. 

Robyn rushed the clone and they fell over, barreling down the open cargo port. Both caught hold of the edge and were left dangling over it.

“Look at you! What makes you so damned special? Why you and not me?” the clone yelled.

Thane and EDI answered that question by rushing to Robyn’s aid and pulling her into safety. While they did that, Brooks simply turned her back to the scene.

“Here, take my hand,” Robyn said to the clone.

“And then what?”

“And then you live,” she replied.

The clone looked at her with incredible bitterness and let got. She fell and crashed into a skyscraper.

\--

Robyn sat down on the edge of their bed and stared into nothing. It had been… She had no words. Thane sat down next to her and put an arm around her. He hummed comfortingly.

“Some people have normal lives,” she said.

“So I’ve heard,” he replied. “’Normal’ is all most people can handle.”

“But not us.”

“No, not us.”

“Do you think we’d be bored if we led a normal life?” she asked. “If we just went to work five days a week, worked eight hours a day, returned home to spend time together, and no one shot at us?”

“I would brave normalcy with you, siha,” Thane answered.

“You wouldn’t miss getting shot at by my clone?”

“Well, watching you two wrestle brought about conflicting emotions,” he said, a smile tugging at the ends of his mouth.

Robyn glared at him.

“You’re not ready to joke about it yet, I understand,” he said hastily and kissed her cheek.

“Men and twin stuff…” Robyn grumbled. “Maybe I should get you one of those Shepard VIs. Though the lady who sold them didn’t recognize me, so they cannot be very lifelike.”

“Of course they cannot be,” Thane said and caressed her cheek. “You are unique.”

“I can only hope. The clone made it sound like there might be others like her out there,” Robyn said and sighed. “If there are, I hope that they are getting better guidance than whoever Brooks really is. Did Feron find out her real identity?”

“He did not. I told him not to bother now that the Alliance has her,” he replied. “But siha, even if there are other clones of yours out there, there is only one you.”

“You wouldn’t have confused her with me?”

“Not in a million years. And neither would anyone else who knows you. It’s important that you remember that you are much more than your DNA.”

“I know. I will.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way is clear for the party :)
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback! Sorry for the amount of in-game dialogue in this chapter. I will attempt to amend my ways.


	49. Party Time

”This is nice,” Robyn said with her eyes closed and burrowed into Thane. They were lying on their living room couch, simply being there and taking it easy. “No one is shooting or yelling at us, no one is doing anything crazy that requires my attention. We don’t have to go anywhere. We don’t have to rescue anyone. It’s nice.”

“It is nice,” Thane concurred. “I wish it could last, but it won’t.”

“Such pessimism.”

“Realism, siha,” he corrected her. “I have the utmost respect for your crew, but it will not be long before they’ll cause something that is going to require your attention.”

“Maybe they are taking it easy, like us,” she replied, but with no conviction.

Thane made a rumble that resembled a silent laugh. She enjoyed feeling the vibrations of his chest. He checked his omnitool for the time.

“It is past noon Citadel time,” he said. “Plenty of time for things to have gone strangely astray. Someone is bound to contact you in,” he began counting down with his fingers, “three, two, one.”

That was when her omnitool chirped for an incoming message. From C-Sec.

\--

Robyn tried not to picture the events of the morning as they were recounted to her, but it was impossible. She could see, vividly, as Grunt’s friends busted him out of the hospital. She could picture them climbing the statue. She could have described to anyone the burning C-Sec vehicle and her baby krogan, covered in foam.

“I’m so sorry about this, officer,” she said. “I will cover all the damages.”

“That is why we are letting him go,” the turian said and turned to Grunt. “You are one lucky krogan.”

“What do you say to the nice officer, Grunt?” Robyn prompted.

“Sorry for crashing your car,” Grunt said.

The officer nodded and gave Robyn the information she needed to pay for the damages. He wished her a good day and left.

“So, Grunt…” she began. “Why?”

“I was hungry,” he said. “I wanted some noodles.”

“Right, right… Were they even good noodles?”

“I’ve had better.”

Robyn shook her head at the krogan. She felt like she ought to be mad or disappointed or surprised or something but she wasn’t.

“I love you, Grunt,” she said and punched him on the shoulder.

“Shepard, what are you doing here?”

Robyn turned around and waved at Garrus and Tali.

“It is an interesting story involving a breakout, a statue, a burning C-Sec car, and noodles,” she said.

“And me!” Grunt said, looking proud.

“I’m hooked,” Garrus said. “When you are going to tell it?”

“How about tonight? Thane and I talked about putting together a small party,” she said.

“Ooh, sounds like fun,” Tali said. “Who are you going to invite?”

“Just friends, people from the Normandy and a couple of others I know are around,” Robyn replied.

“Can I come? I’ve never been to a human party,” Grunt said.

“Of course,” Robyn promised. “I wouldn’t throw a party without you, Grunt.”

“Great,” Garrus said. “Do you want to go to the Arcade with us? Shoot a few guns, take on a couple of challenges?”

“Let’s see,” Robyn said, assuming a pensive stance. “I am on vacation from shooting guns and dodging bullets. Do I want to spend my vacation shooting virtual guns and dodging virtual bullets? That’s a tough one…”

“A simple ‘no’ would have sufficed,” Garrus said. “Besides, we’re not going to enter into the competition, either. We’ll try a few rounds for fun and then have a go at the other games they have.”

“I’m going to kick his ass in robot boxing,” Tali said and shot her tiny fist in the air.

“Not likely,” Garrus replied.

“That sounds like fun, guys, but I’m going to relax and prepare for the party,” Robyn said. “You’ll get invites as soon as I get home.”

“Okay, we’ll see you tonight,” Garrus said.

“I’m still hungry,” Grunt said. “I’m going to find someplace to eat. I’ll be there tonight.”

“Stay out of trouble until then, please,” Robyn called to the krogan’s receding back and he waved a hand as a reply.

Robyn sighed and went to look for party supplies. They’d agreed on a small, low key affair that would be easy to arrange. She bought lots of booze and lots of food and paid for the delivery. She decided to look around before going back home and spotted a familiar shape in front of a machine.

“Zaeed?”

“Oh, hey, Shepard,” he said, completely focused on trying to make the small crane do what he wanted. “Goddamn that bloody hand!”

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“Some kid wanted this plushy toy real bad and I promised to help him.”

Robyn looked around for the kid but there was none to be found. “Where’s the kid?”

“I don’t give a fuck,” the old merc replied. “I won’t be bested by a kid’s machine!”

He cursed as the crane yet again missed its purpose. Robyn could see that this was important to her friend.

“The next one’s on me,” she said and paid for another round. “Go for it, Zaeed! You can get it.”

And he finally did. He got his toy and handed it to an asari. “Here you go, sweetheart.”

“That was nice of you,” Robyn said. “Do you want to go play something else?”

“Nah, I think I’ll stick with this one. I want to master it.”

“Okay, have fun,” she said. “By the way, we’re having a party tonight and you’re invited.”

“Alright, see you then,” he said. “And thanks, Shepard.”

“Anytime.”

\--

“Everyone seems to be having a good time, aren’t they?” Shepard asked Thane when the party was in full swing.

“Stop worrying, siha,” he said and kissed her temple. “Everyone is going to have a great time. This party was meant for relaxing, having fun, and blowing off steam. You should enjoy it.”

“I have very little experience being the hostess,” she continued. “What if I mess it up?”

“Relax. These are all your friends. They are going to have fun and so should you. You deserve it.”

“Okay, I will. I’ll make the rounds now.”

Thane watched her walk away and took a sip of his drink.

“Is she always like this?” Kolyat asked him. “I wouldn’t have pegged her as the worrying type.”

“She is not,” he replied. “This is a side to her I’ve never seen before, though it is in accordance with her character. She wants everyone else to have a good time so badly that she runs the risk of ruining her own evening trying to make it happen.”

“Should we do something?”

“No, she’ll catch herself doing it before long,” he said. “Do you know everyone here?”

“By reputation,” his son replied. “Your messages have been informative enough for me to guess who everyone is.”

Thane looked around for people to introduce his son to. He had been unsure if Kolyat would feel at home at their party but he wanted him to meet their friends and to spend more time with them. The group in the kitchen seemed like a safe choice.

“Come on,” he said. “Here are some people I think you’d like.”

\--

Later in the evening Robyn looked around with a smile on her face. Everyone seemed to be having such a good time that she allowed herself to relax and have a couple of drinks. She needed alcohol in her system if she was going to dance.

Robyn had spent much of the evening wondering from one group to another which had led her to participate in some bizarre conversations. Joker had bitched about Cerberus and reminisced about the good old days of Cerberus inefficiency. His rant had been brought to an end when EDI had reminded him that both she and Robyn were Cerberus projects.

The tough guys had been discussing which would win a fight, Wrex or Grunt. “If you want to battle it out now, do it next to the butt-ugly ‘art’, not the furniture,” she’d told them. They had forgone the fight and Grunt had gotten into telling party crashers ‘no’ via intercom. He was having a lot of fun doing that.

“That is a mysterious smile, Shepard.”

“Everyone has their secrets, Kolyat,” she replied and looked at the young drell. “Are you having a good time? Did your father introduce you to everyone?”

“Yes, he did. Your circle of friends is very colorful. It has been an education getting to know them,” he said. “I believe you settled an argument about biotics versus muscles earlier?”

“Yeah, poor James had no chance against four biotics,” she said. “It’s true that biotics aren’t an answer to everything, but I quite like mine, as puny as they are.”

“Biotics give you an edge,” Kolyat admitted. “Mine have saved my life a couple of times.”

“How do you like working for C-Sec?”

“It’s the right place for me. And a steady police force is what the Citadel needs right now. Without C-Sec this whole station would be in chaos,” he said, looking grave.

“People can’t ignore the war anymore?”

“No. Many people are scared shitless,” Kolyat said. He’d clearly spent time around humans. “Others are taking advantage. It’s a mess and it’s going to get a lot worse.”

“So I fear,” Robyn replied.

They fell silent while the party went on around them.

“I don’t know how to put it…” Kolyat began. “Despite what you hear, I want you to know that most of us appreciate the hell out of what you’re doing out there. It’s not easy here and it must be much worse out there in the heat of battle. I pray for you, all of you.”

“Thank you, Kolyat,” Robyn said and smiled. “That means a lot.”

“About you and my dad…”

“Yes?”

“I know you make each other happy,” he said. “It’s still new to me, having him back and the two of you being together, but I see that you are good for each other. You take care of each other.”

“I love him.”

“I see that. And he loves you,” he said. “I know you can’t promise to be safe out there or anything like that, but at least try, okay? Try your hardest.”

“Okay,” she said and squeezed his hand.

“Thanks,” he said. “I’m going to go get another drink. Will I see you on the dance floor?”

“If I get enough alcohol in me before the dancing starts. I’ll really need it after Joker’s half a minute laugh at the thought of me dancing.”

Robyn ran into Thane on the stairs.

“I’m not sure you want to go up there,” he said.

“How so?”

“EDI and Samantha are having a discussion about the things Samantha told she wanted to do to EDI’s voice back when she still thought EDI was a VI.”

“That sounds…”

“Graphic? Because that is what it was,” Thane said. “Some of the things actually were not that bad. I made a couple of mental notes about things I want to test later.”

Robyn kissed her purring drell. “While you were doing that I talked with your son. He is a great guy, you have every reason to be proud.”

“I am. And of you, also,” he said and kissed her again. He seemed a bit loopy and wonderfully careless.

“I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen you this tipsy before,” Robyn said with a giggle.

Thane winked at her and continued his way downstairs.

\--

Robyn got up late the next morning. There were some noises coming from downstairs and the smell of cooking was wafting up.

“Why is a tiny krogan hitting my head with his fists?” Thane asked. He sounded like he was in pain.

“I don’t think there is a krogan hitting your head, honey,” she said and got up to go to the bathroom, but found it already occupied. “However, there is a hungover Prothean in our bathroom. Morning, Javik. What are you doing there?”

“I was having a terrible dream. Fifty thousand years had passed and the galaxy was governed by primitives, salarians, turians, and asari,” he said, groggily. “Is it time to rule the galaxy now? Kneel before Javik!”

“Uh-huh,” Robyn said and closed the door.

Javik and Thane weren’t the only ones suffering from the aftereffects of the party. Tali was in a bad shape, which was no wonder considering how much she’d drunk. Jacob, Jack, and Kolyat were distressingly perky and upbeat. They were working out, James was cooking breakfast, Samara was meditating, and the others were mostly lounging around. The guests ate in their own pace and left in ones and twos, thanking Robyn on their way out. The last ones to go were Tali and Garrus, who had to carry his girlfriend away. Going by the happy grin on his face Robyn guessed that he didn’t mind. Those two were adorably in love and it showed.

In the end only Robyn and Thane were left in the apartment.

“It’s so silent,” Robyn said. “Does your head still hurt?”

“Only a little,” Thane replied. “Some of the memories I have are a little hazy, like a dream. Tell me, siha, did I really see Zaeed hitting on Samara?”

“Yes, and it was going surprisingly well.”

“And did Glyph have a bow?”

“He did. I think it was very festive.”

“Please, tell me that I imagined Kolyat dancing on the table with Jack,” he said, his tone pleading it not to be true.

“Sorry, honey, but that happened, too.”

“But… Kolyat. And Jack… They were touching. Intimately. I cannot…”

“I see, you are having a dad moment,” Robyn said and patted his hand. “Just because two people dance together does not mean that they will hook up. Even if they did, that would not mean that it would turn into anything serious. Even if it did, Kolyat could do a lot worse than Jack.”

“But… She… With a krogan…”

“Yes. And?”

“Er…”

“If you want, we can have this conversation again when you are not hungover.”

“Thank you, siha,” he said earnestly and drank some coffee. “It was a good party.”

“It really was.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the delay. Work has been trying to kill me.
> 
> It was a surprise to me that you don't encounter all the possible people during one playthrough. I feel a bit mad about that. When I bought the DLC, I paid for fanservice, damn it! I want it all! I will try to overcome my disappointment.
> 
> There is so much going on in the party that it isn't possible to cover it all. Here's how it turned out this time around. I hope you like it.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback :)


	50. A Message to The Galactic Community

”Tell me again why we are here,” Thane asked when the previews were playing. They were sitting in a dark movie theater, waiting for the newest Blasto vid to start.

“We are hanging out with our friends outside the context of war / work,” Robyn replied. “Here, have some popcorn and try to enjoy it.”

“I feel unsafe.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll hold your hand,” Robyn replied and took hold of his hand. He snorted at her but didn’t let go. She understood what he meant, though. With the war going on nowhere felt safe, let alone a dark, cramped room with loads of strangers.

“Shhh! It’s starting!” Grunt shushed them and turned all of his attention on the big screen. Robyn could hear amused humming from Garrus’ direction.

Robyn looked at her baby krogan with a lopsided smile. He was a strange mix of young and old. Sure, he was running his own show and had all those implanted memories, but he also loved the hanar Spectre’s adventures and had seen every Blasto movie ever made – several times. He’d been expecting the new vid with the enthusiasm of a little kid. Robyn was pretty sure that she was going to enjoy Grunt’s reactions to the film more than the vid itself.

The movie began and Robyn tried to focus on it. Blasto was called to the Council Chambers. They congratulated him for his recent victory in the battle of the Citadel and asked him to do something about the Collectors.

“Huh,” she said.

As the movie went on it became even more apparent where they had gotten the inspiration for it. Blasto did most of the stuff Robyn had actually done, though he had less help and no one yelled at him for working with Cerberus.

“Should we call for backup?” a redshirt asked Blasto in the movie. “Maybe Shepard or some other Spectre?”

“Shepard is busy playing dead. This one can handle the Collectors alone,” Blasto replied.

Robyn was grabbing the handholds of her chair so hard that her knuckles had turned white. No, she wasn’t hungry for attention and recognition, but fuck, this was… Was she immature and childish to care? Shouldn’t she rise above this? It was only a movie, history and news knew that it wasn’t some random hanar busting their ass to save the galaxy, right? It didn’t matter, the important thing was getting rid of the Reapers.

Once Robyn got herself under control by focusing on her breathing, she finally registered the faint growling sound coming from her left. Thane was so mad he was practically vibrating off his chair.

“Honey, you should calm down,” she whispered and put her free hand on his thigh. “It’s only a movie.”

“How dare they? How dare they?! After everything you’ve done for them!” Thane murmured. Robyn noticed that his agitated state was gathering some unwanted attention. Garrus was talking with Tali in hushed tones. Robyn guessed that they were having the same conversation as she and Thane. She needed to calm him before they got kicked out.

“I know you’re upset,” she said, moving her hand up and down his thigh in a calming manner. “I don’t like it any more than you do, but this is what the film industry does to true stories.”

“They have no right,” he said. “And to say that about you being dead…”

“Do you want to leave?”

He took a deep breath and made a visible effort to cool down. The growling stopped.

“If you want to watch this with your friends I want to do that with you,” he said. “I’ll try to focus on something else.”

“That sounds like a good idea. What are you going to focus on instead of the movie?” Robyn asked.

As a reply Thane pulled her into his lap and kissed her.

\--

“You got thrown out of the movie theatre for lewd behavior?” Joker asked Robyn as soon as she joined him in the cockpit the next day.

“Oh crap! Who told you?”

“EDI knows everything,” he replied with a shit-eating grin on his face. “Besides, it’s the Normandy. Scuttlebutt here is quicker than the postal service.”

“To be fair, we didn’t get ‘thrown out’. We were asked to leave. There’s a difference.”

“Is there?” Joker asked, sounding like he didn’t believe her. “So, what did you do?”

“Nothing beyond stuff everyone has done in their teens when they were watching a bad movie. I can’t believe someone complained about that,” Robyn replied. “Some people need to get a life.”

“You were ruining their movie going experience.”

“Maybe they should have stayed home,” Robyn said. “It was a crappy movie anyway. They should have hired actual writers instead of ripping off my life and making it into a bad movie about a hanar who can’t even wear armor. In a real fight he’d be dead in the blink of an eye.”

“That’s true,” Joker said and looked at Robyn. “People have been giving you a lot of grief about this already?”

“You could say that,” Robyn said and rolled her eyes. “Garrus and Tali were there when it happened. They had a field day. Grunt didn’t even notice anything, he was so focused on the movie. Jack called pretty soon. She probably had a point to make, but she laughed so hard I couldn’t make it out. Everyone has been giving me funny looks and pointed comments, but it should die down soon enough. The complete destruction of a planet tends to do that.”

“Things are bad on Thessia?” Joker asked.

“I believe so,” Robyn replied with a sigh. “I’m curious to see what artifact the asari have been hiding from the rest of us. I’m going to be really fucking pissed if it turns out to be something that could have saved us if we’d known about it sooner.”

“How is Liara with all this?” Joker asked.

“In denial. Despite her Shadow Broker exterior, she still likes to believe that people are basically good inside. She can’t fathom that her own people could have hidden something this important.”

“It sucks to find out that your people are just like everyone else,” Joker said.

“It’s good that we have Cerberus and Udina. Thanks to them we know that humans suck,” Robyn said. “Let me know when we get there.”

\--

Thessia was at war. Robyn, Liara, and Garrus had to fight their way from outpost to outpost. Liara was in shock and she wasn’t the only one. Every asari they met seemed dumbstruck by what was going on. They had been the ruling power of the galaxy for so long that they had believed themselves safe. They had believed that Thessia would never see war. Maybe it was their false sense of security that had kept them from sharing what they had, who knew.

Soldier after soldier and gunship after gunship went down. Asari were dying out whereas the Reaper forces seemed endless. Desperation was catching. Asari had difficulty fighting the monstrosities Reapers had made of their sisters. It was psychological warfare, as Garrus pointed out, and it was working.

Finally they made it to the temple. The researchers had been killed neatly which suggested that someone else besides the Reapers was behind the slaughter. The temple gave Robyn a feeling she recognized. 

“There is a beacon here,” she said.

“That’s impossible,” Liara said. “If there was a beacon, more people would know about it.”

“Not really,” Garrus said. “Think about all the time the asari have had to study it. It would explain their galactic domination.”

They went to work to activate the beacon that seemed to consider Robyn a Prothean. Liara was having trouble with the existence of the beacon and the fact that most of the busts in the temple were obviously Protheans. They had gone down to asari history as people who’d taught them biotics.

The beacon contained a Prothean VI who was as cheery and positive as Javik.

“The Reapers have arrived. Your time has come to an end,” it said.

“We’re still here. We’re still fighting. We can beat them, we just need to know how,” Robyn said. “Tell us about the Catalyst.”

The VI was a stingy informant but they did get something out of it. The Crucible wasn’t of Prothean design. It was the work of countless cycles that had added bits of their own knowledge into the project.

“Indoctrinated presence detected,” the VI said. “Activating safety protocol.”

That was when everything went from horrible to even worse.

\--

Robyn leaned on the war table and breathed deep. She tried not to think about the conversation she’d had with the asari councilor. She’d had to tell her about their failure. About Cerberus beating them to the punch.

Robyn was mad. She was mad at the asari for keeping the beacon a secret for so long. If they had coughed it up at the beginning, they wouldn’t be in this situation. She was angry at the Illusive Man who was as mad as a hatter. He wanted to control the Reapers instead of destroying them. That sounded like a sound plan. Maybe they could get them to do the gardening and take out the trash while they were at it. She was mad at Kai Leng for having stolen the VI and taken a gunship as backup. The allied forces had armies with them, why didn’t they have that sort of firepower? The answer was simple – they were fighting the Reapers while Cerberus was fighting them.

Robyn was also mad at herself. She should have brought more people or more guns or something to prevent this. She should have learned by this point that Cerberus was always trying to screw them over, no matter what they were doing. She should have been more prepared.

“What are we going to do?”

Robyn looked up at James.

“We are going after Cerberus. I’m sick and tired of this shit they keep pulling. We will put an end to it. Do we know where they are?” she asked and looked around.

“Traynor has an idea,” EDI said.

Samantha explained what she’d found out when she’d looked into a place where there was nothing to be found.

“Good enough for me,” Robyn said. “We’ll head there and kick some Cerberus ass.”

\--

Thane was enjoying his meal at the mess table when someone took the chair opposite him. It was the reporter. He had a bad feeling about what was going to happen.

“So, you and the commander,” she said.

“Yes?” he asked in a non-committal manner and continued eating his food. 

“I have heard it from a reliable source that you two are romantically involved,” she said. “I would love an interview.”

“Aren’t you a war reporter?”

“All is fair in love and war,” she quoted. “Besides, people want to hear something good in the midst of a disaster. A real love story would cheer them up.”

Thane shrugged to imply that he couldn’t comment on what would cheer people up and what would not.

“You’ll do it then?”

“Do what?”

“Give an interview about your relationship with Commander Shepard.”

“No.”

“Please, think about it, Mister Krios. It would do a world of good to her image if I could present her not only as a warrior, but as a woman.”

“She is a woman.”

“Not to the public. To them she’s a hero and a legend, but not a real person. Knowledge of her loved one would make her real to them,” the reporter said.

“She is real and she is saving their lives. That should be enough,” he said and got up. “Goodbye.”

“Please, think about it,” she repeated.

Thane took his dishes to the washer and went to the elevator. He got in and thought about what had happened. The reporter, as annoying as he found her, had made a good point. People in general were not unmoved by things like romance. Some would cheer Shepard for it, others would condemn her for thinking of anything but the war.

“Something’s bothering you.”

Thane looked at Shepard and gave her a light kiss on the nose.

“The reporter wants me to tell the galaxy that you love me,” he said. He smiled at the way she blinked three times in quick succession.

“Okay… Why? That mercs will know who to kidnap when they want some money from me?”

“That people can go ‘Ooh, she’s in love while she’s saving the galaxy! That’s so cute!’” he said, imitating an enthusiastic female human.

“It’s disconcerting, hearing you say stuff like that,” she said and fell silent.

Thane watched the expressions change on her face. The journey was long but she ended up somewhere sad. She came to him and hugged him.

“I’m so sorry for this,” she said, her green eyes solemn.

“For what?”

“You have to go through crap like this because you are with me, the legendary Commander Shepard,” she said. “What they don’t tell you about the legends is that they are hard to love. I hate it that- -“

He cut her off with a kiss. “You aren’t hard to love, siha. Ask anyone who knows you.”

“That’s only because you make everything look easy,” she replied. “I bet that any other guys would have serious difficulty trying to make peace with the length of my shadow.”

Thane gave her a look. “’The length of your shadow’? Really?”

“Give me a break, I’m horny,” she replied and kissed him, her hands cupping his ass. “I can’t think with all this blood rushing into other places than where it ought to be for the thinking and speaking and all that.”

“I know how that feels. I’m experiencing similar problems myself,” he said and rubbed his erection against her. She made a very satisfying noise.

“So I see,” she said, her voice hoarse. “Maybe we should help each other out.”

“That is a message I’d be willing to give to the galactic community,” Thane said, picked her up, and carried her to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Huh, I've already run out of plot stuff and I still need about a page worth of stuff. What should I write?" -> this happens
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback :) I hope you're enjoying a sunny spring.


	51. Hugs for Peace

”I bet asari wish right about now that they had less strippers and more commandos.”

“Joker…” Robyn said tiredly and looked at the pilot.

He rolled his eyes at her and pulled up a screen. “This is where my family lives,” he said and a small planet appeared on the screen. “These are the Reapers.” Several blotches surrounded the little planet. “I know we’re at war.”

“Jokes help you deal?”

He gave her a look. “Anderson told me to look after you. Me! The guy who is ass-deep in Reapers on Earth is so worried about you that he told me to take care of you. Why he did that, you may wonder. EDI tells me that according to your armor’s readings you are under more stress now than you were when all those thresher maws ate your friends.”

“But…”

“I mean you’re like half robot at this point! And it’s my fault. On the original Normandy, if I hadn’t refused to leave, you wouldn’t have needed to come and get me. You wouldn’t have died,” he said. It had been a long time since Robyn had seen him that grave.

“I’ve still got Robocop beat, don’t I?” she said, trying to get him to smile. “It’s not your fault that I died. The Reapers killed me, that’s on them. I was dead, but I got over it and I’m here, fighting. It means a lot to me that you worry for me, but you don’t have to. I don’t want you stressing over the fact that I am.”

“Yeah, okay,” he said. “But be careful. People care about you.”

“I know. I care about people, too,” she said. “How long till Horizon?”

“A couple of hours.”

“Okay, thanks. I should go see how Liara is doing.”

Robyn left the cockpit and headed towards the elevator. She was lucky to have friends who cared about her and her wellbeing. She and Garrus had talked about the tough call he’d had to make when he’d told Victus that they should retreat and save their troops for the Crucible. She felt sorry for him. It was the right choice, sure enough, but she would hate to be the one who had to make it. Even in that state of mind Garrus had been worried about her, just like Joker and Anderson. Everyone kept telling her that it wasn’t her fault that Cerberus had taken the data they had wanted. It didn’t really matter in the end. Cerberus had it and they needed it, so they were going to get it back. Preferable by prying it from the cold dead hands of the Illusive Man.

Robyn found Liara’s office empty. 

“Doctor T’Soni has gone to speak with the Prothean,” Glyph informed her.

“Alright. Thanks, Glyph.”

This could turn ugly, Robyn thought and hurried towards Javik’s quarters. Liara had been pretty fragile after everything that had happened on Thessia. Javik had deep wisdom, Robyn had noticed that when she’d come to know the Prothean, but what he lacked was subtlety. He made a great soldier but she’d never recommend him as a grief counselor.

When Robyn got to the corridor that led to Javik’s room, she heard the noises. It sounded like a fight was going on in there. She took a couple of running steps and was about to open the door when she heard the distinct sound of an electric lock clicking shut.

“Shepard, I don’t believe you would want to go in right now,” EDI said.

Robyn paused to think before yelling. EDI would not lock her out for no reason. If they were fighting, EDI had means of interfering before they killed each other. There were no valuables inside that needed to be saved from breaking.

“Are they fighting it out?” Robyn asked.

“No. They are definitely not fighting.”

Robyn listened some more. If the sounds weren’t from fighting… There was a growl and a moan. She chuckled.

“Good for them,” she said. “EDI, tell Garrus that he owes me some credits.”

\--

Robyn had a bad feeling about Sanctuary. Oriana Lawson’s transmission had done nothing to change that. She’d been taken by her father who was working for the Illusive Man. If Oriana was at the facility, Miranda couldn’t be far away. This was probably the secret project she had needed help with. Robyn wished that she was okay.

“This place has seen a major firefight,” James said when they had landed and were making their way into the building. “Looks like the Reapers hit them hard and they had to evacuate.”

“About time they started killing each other,” Robyn said. “How it took them this long, I’ll never know.”

The building was deserted. There was a short message from Miranda. She said that Sanctuary wasn’t a refugee camp, but a Cerberus research facility. They also caught a glimpse of Kai Leng going after Miranda.

“Hearing ‘Cerberus’ and ‘research’ in the same sentence makes me itchy,” Robyn said. “Especially now. I feel like I’m about to step into a horror movie.”

Shutting down a security panel opened them a back door into the facility.

“I recognize some of this tech,” EDI said. “It is Cerberus. But it looks like they have found a way to incorporate Reaper tech into it.”

“Madre! Reaper tech? Are they crazy?” James asked.

“I think that has been established long ago,” Robyn replied. “The question at this point is just how crazy they are.” 

Really freaking crazy, as it turned out. They had turned the refugees into husks to study indoctrination and how the Reapers communicated with each other. They had to kill the husks. Some of the refugees had been indoctrinated and sent to Cerberus. Robyn felt ill.

“How is this according to their own ‘humans first’ policy?” she asked and shook her head.

“It isn’t. What did that mean about controlling the Reapers? Are they serious with that shit?” James asked.

“I don’t know. Lawson seems to believe they can achieve that, but I don’t buy it,” Robyn said and continued onwards. “Controlling them doesn’t make the problem go away.”

There was a scream from the other side of the room. Robyn made a face.

“I really hate those things,” James said. “How can they take something as beautiful as an asari and turn her into whatever that is.”

“They are called Banshees,” EDI said. “According to a human legend.”

“The scream of a banshee tells you that you are about to die,” Robyn said and shot at the sickening creature. “Aptly named, I’m sure, but I’m not about to let that legend come true today.”

The Banshee was hanging out with a couple of Brutes. The big beasts charged at Robyn but she charged right back at them and she did it with biotics. She was too tired and angry to let a couple of quasi-mechanical whatevers run over her. She beat them to a pulp and kicked them for a good measure while the Banshee’s dying wail rang in the space.

“Nice!” James commented with appreciation.

When they got to the tower they found out that it was occupied. Henry Lawson was holding Oriana as a shield while Miranda was hiding behind a table. She was badly injured. Daddy Lawson wanted it all – to get out with Oriana and the data. Robyn talked him into letting Oriana go in exchange for his life, but Miranda wasn’t having any of that. As soon as Henry let Oriana go, Miranda finished him off with what was left of her strength.

“At least Oriana is safe,” she said. “By the way, before that Leng bastard left, I put a tracer on him.”

“Of course you did,” Robyn said and held her. “Thank you. We will get him and the Illusive Man.”

“I know. Promise me you’ll take care of Ori for me.”

“I promise.”

Miranda died with a small smile on her lips.

\--

“We’re all dead anyway. Just make them pay for it.” Robyn stared at the last words of Kal’Reegar, as reported by the Alliance News Network. The marine had commanded a unit that had volunteered to repair a ground-based com relay that provided vital intel for the turian military. They did their job and went down fighting. They had refused the offer for evac because they had been in such a bad shape. Victus had praised their bravery.

“EDI, where can I find Tali?” Robyn asked.

“She’s at the lounge.”

“Thanks.”

And there she was, getting drunk. Robyn sat next to her and put her arm around her.

“Everyone dies, you know? Miranda is dead. What did Jack call her? The Cerberus cheerleader? Because of the outfits and the attitude… I wish she was here, telling me to document my expenses properly. Kal is dead. Would he have died if he didn’t have to wear a suit? He volunteered, you know? That’s just like him. Mordin’s dead. He sang. I could never get the hang of pattern singing. How can you sing that fast? I can’t even talk that fast,” Tali rambled on.

Robyn sat there, holding her friend and listening to her vent all her sorrow about the people she’d cared about. They talked about them and remembered this or that funny occurrence. They discussed Miranda’s fierce love for bureaucracy and even greater love for her sister. They talked of Kal’s honesty and sense of duty. They smiled at some of Mordin’s trash talk and the fact that he had become a hero to the krogan.

“We will make them pay for it, won’t we, Shepard?”

“Yes, we will.”

\--

“Is there anything you’d like to discuss with me?” Robyn asked Liara.

Liara did the asari version of blushing. “I am not sure what you are referring to.”

“I could put this so crudely if I wanted to, but I will resist the temptation,” Robyn said. “I believe you and Javik had a meeting of the minds?”

“Yes. And?” Liara asked, attempting nonchalance and failing.

“Nothing at all,” she said. “I’m here if you want to have girl talk.”

“Thank you, Shepard.”

“That is quite a hickey you have there, Shadow Broker.”

“Bite me.”

“I’ll leave that to Javik,” Robyn said and hurried out of the door.

\--

Robyn fell on the bed with her eyes closed. “I’m so tired,” she murmured into the pillow.

Thane joined her and pulled the covers over them both. “You should sleep, siha.”

“I’m sure I will in a moment,” she mumbled. “The funny thing is that I can’t remember the last time I had a nightmare or a panic attack. I’m so tired that even my subconscious is going, ‘Fuck it, I need some rest.’”

Thane caressed her back. “That’s good, isn’t it?”

“In a messed sort of way, yeah. I probably should make an effort to relax more. People have been telling me for some time that they worry about me and think that I look stressed.”

“Of course we worry. We love you,” he said and kissed he ear.

“Not everyone loves me like you do.”

“I’d have a problem if they did.” She liked the sound of his voice when he said that. 

“What was that noise?” he asked.

“I was trying to purr like you do when you’re happy. I like it when you do that.”

“You mean this?” he said and purred. She could feel his chest vibrate against her back. It was a comforting feeling. She tried to mimic the sound. Her effort made him chuckle warmly.

“The way to instant happiness is hugging a purring drell,” she said. “If only more people knew. We could end wars by drell hugs.”

“I’ll tell you right now – I am not hugging a Reaper. Or the Illusive Man.”

“That’s what their mommies said and look where we are,” she said and snuggled closer to him.

“I don’t care.”

“Why wouldn’t you hug them? You like hugging me.”

“You are much sexier than the Illusive Man and the Reapers put together.”

Robyn laughed. “Flatterer.”

“I think my contribution to ending this war is more efficacious if I keep hugging you and telling you that I believe in you, siha.”

“Hugs only for me?”

“Hugs only for you.”

“I can live with that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Javik as a grief counselor... That would be... Worth a short fic. Maybe one day.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback :)


	52. The Beginning of The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I forgot to warn you about my Andromeda break. As I've found a new home and seduced Jaal (quite the feat with Ryder's sad flirting skills) I'll continue killing the Reapers for a few more chapters.

”We’re here,” Joker said. ”That’s Cronos Station, Illusive Man’s secret lair. His Death Star. The source of all evil. The- -“

“Thanks, Joker,” Robyn said. She didn’t feel like smiling after that call with Hackett. This was the beginning of the end. There was no going back after this. 

“I should go with you,” EDI said. “I am familiar with Cerberus tech and will be able to hack through their security.”

Robyn nodded. “Makes sense.”

“Wait, what? You’re going?” Joker asked, alarmed.

“Don’t worry, Jeff. I’ll be fine,” EDI promised him. “I’ll go prepare.”

Joker stared after her when she left the bridge.

“Make sure she’s alright. Please?”

“I will. But you should know by now that she can take care of herself,” Robyn said and called Thane. “I’d like you to come with us.”

“As you wish,” his voice replied.

“Sit tight, Joker. We’ll kick some Cerberus ass.”

\--

Cerberus was not making it easy on them. They tried to vent them out, shoot them, blast them to bits, and generally do other unpleasant things to them. They would have died if it wasn’t for EDI and her hacking abilities. She stopped the venting and programmed a fighter to shoot through a wall to make them a path.

“That’s convenient,” Robyn said and headed towards the gaping hole. “Thanks, EDI.”

“It was my pleasure, Shepard.”

Another wave of Cerberus goons slowed their progress.

“It seems like they’re wasting troops to slow us down,” Thane said. “Perhaps the Illusive Man is not finished with whatever it is that he is planning.”

“Let’s hope so,” Robyn commented. “Though I very much doubt we’ll find him here. He is the kind of dirty rat who’s bound to have left the ship ages ago.”

They came to a door that was shut tight. 

“This is going to take some time to hack,” EDI said. “Maybe you’d like to see what’s on that terminal while I work.”

Robyn shrugged and took a look at the files. They were about Project Lazarus. It was… bad. She felt Thane come closer and put his arm around her while she went through the vids. Of course she’d known that she’d been dead but seeing it documented, it was… 

“Siha.”

And they’d surrounded her with familiar faces to keep her from seeing the real Cerberus. Not that she hadn’t, but it had distracted her alright. But their dossiers had brought her the drell who was holding her and humming his concern. She looked at his solemn expression and gave him a slight smile.

“I’m fine,” she said. “EDI, how are you doing with that door?”

“Done.”

Cerberus’ next big plan was engineers. Lots of grunts were trying to cover their backs while they put up turrets. Robyn took a heavy rain of bullets and her shield wheezed.

“Damn, I really hate engineers,” she said from behind a handy crate and yelled: “You hear that, nerds? I’m coming for you! You might have time to calculate your chances of getting out of here alive, though you ought not bother. It’s a round number between -1 and 1.”

The only reply was another shower of bullets.

“Thane, can you take out that turret? I’d rather not jump into the melee just to have it shoot my shield to smithereens.”

“Of course.”

There was a flash of blue and the sound of a shot from Thane’s sniper rifle followed by a satisfying boom.

“Thanks, hon,” Robyn yelled and charged. It turned out that she’d been right about the engineers’ chances of survival. They didn’t make it into the next room before they made it to the great lecture room in the sky or whatever it was that they ended up in.

Another door meant some more hacking. The terminal next to it contained EDI’s origin story.

“You were the rogue VI on Luna?” Robyn asked.

“Yes.”

She whistled. “I was there. You’d wreaked some havoc.”

Robyn watched the second vid. “So they incorporated Reaper tech into you. I should be less surprised than I am.”

“The Illusive Man is obsessed with the Reapers,” EDI said.

“You don’t say.”

The third vid made Robyn laugh and Thane chuckle. “Cerberus tried to take over the Normandy so you sent them porn?”

“Most of it was Jeff’s.”

“Thanks, EDI. I never knew about that,” Robyn said. “About them trying to take over, I mean. I did know about Joker’s porn.”

The door opened and they continued towards the inner sanctum. One thing was bugging Robyn and she decided that she had to know.

“What sort of porn was it?” Robyn asked. She could almost hear Thane rolling his eyes.

“Mostly cross-species.”

Robyn laughed. EDI had messed with them, made a statement, and made fun of them at the same time. “Priceless.”

There were more Cerberus goons before one more door that needed hacking. The third terminal had files on Kai Leng. They made Thane growl.

“Wow, he really has a problem with me,” Robyn said. “What did I ever do to him?”

“He has misplaced loyalty towards the Illusive Man,” Thane said. “To him you are dangerous and offensive. You chose your own path instead of the one Cerberus wanted for you. You chose to respect and love others regardless of their species. You see the Reapers as a threat, not as an opportunity.”

“Could be. Or maybe he’s so angry because his ponytail is too tight. Who knows?”

The door opened to reveal a circular room with large windows. The view was one of a burning planet. In the middle was a wall of screens and a chair.

“Shepard.”

Robyn turned and aimed her gun at the voice. It was a hologram of the Illusive Man, not the man himself. He bragged about knowing what the Catalyst was. There was no point in listening to him, so Robyn focused on EDI who was hacking into the computer. She found the Prothean VI who was more chatty than the last time they’d seen it.

“The Citadel is the Catalyst?” Robyn said. “I probably should have known, right? It seems to be the answer to everything.”

“Why didn’t you say this before?” Thane asked the VI.

“I was programmed to withhold the information until the Crucible was complete,” it replied.

“Right,” Robyn said. “We need to contact Hackett before the Reapers find out.”

“They already know,” the VI said. “The one you know as the Illusive Man contacted them. The Reapers have taken the Citadel and moved it.”

“What on Earth would he do that for? What is there for him to gain? It only means that he will need to race them for it!” Robyn yelled. “That fucker is bonkers. Let’s go and stop him.”

“You’re going nowhere, Shepard. Your story ends here,” Kai Leng stated and opened fire.

“Seriously, dude, don’t you have anything better to do?” Robyn called to him. “Your boss is trying to bring about the end of the world. Shouldn’t you be out enjoying life – sharpening your sword, trimming your ponytail, that sort of thing?”

“You laugh now but you won’t for long. Not when I do to your friends what I did to the salarian councilor.”

Robyn charged at him and kicked him in the nuts. He let out a satisfying grunt. “You’re not so tough without your gunship, are you?”

“I don’t need a gunship to defeat you. You were a mistake, a first effort, a dud. I’m humanity’s ultimate weapon,” he said and jumped farther. 

“You are dancing in leather and you brought a knife to a gunfight, asshole. Haven’t you seen any movies? There’s only one way this can go,” Robyn declared and went after him with her shotgun. Not being able to charge his shields hindered his speed. He had taken a lot of damage and it was beginning to show. The combined efforts of the team brought him to a halt long enough for Robyn to pin him down.

“Genre blind bastard,” she said and shot him.

\--

“Joker, we’re out of here. We need to get to the Earth system, pronto. We’re chasing after the Citadel.”

“Again?”

“Yeah.”

“Just like old times.”

Thane looked at Shepard. She was getting out of her armor quietly, staring into nothing. He could guess what she was thinking.

“It couldn’t have been you,” he said.

When she looked up at him he knew that he’d been right.

“Cerberus created him, just like me,” she replied. 

Thane shook his head. “They did not create you. You were already you. They only brought you back. You are who you are. You could never be like he was. He was filled with anger and hate.”

“Some days… I fear that I’m too,” she said quietly. “To see what war does to people. What Reapers do to people. What people do to each other… It makes me angry.”

“As it should. But there’s more to you than anger. You are angry because you care. You don’t use your anger to justify hurting others. You use it to help the weak and to fight the ones who make you angry. You inspire others to do the same when you show them that it’s possible.”

She raised her hand to his cheek and caressed it. The look in her eyes… Such devotion, such love. It made his heart sing.

“What did I do to deserve you?” she asked.

He smiled and leaned his forehead against hers. “Be mine, siha.”

“Always.”

“I mean… Would you…” Thane was trying to find the right words. He should have thought this through, done some research or something. Shepard straightened her head and looked at him curiously. He felt like the words had gotten stuck in his throat. He tried to cough, but it was of no help.

“Are you okay?” Curiosity had been replaced by concern. “You look pale. Were you injured? Is it your lungs? Do you need to sit down? Would you like me to get you some water?”

“I’m fine, siha,” he said and coughed again.

“I’m not buying that,” she said and took hold of his arm. “Come on, hero, we are going to the med bay so that the doc can check you out.”

Thane tried to reaffirm Shepard that he was fine but she wouldn’t listen to him. She steered him sternly to Doctor Chakwas.

“Shepard, Hackett is on the line for you,” Traynor’s voice informed them.

“Blast it, I have to go,” she said.

“Go, go, I’ll look after him,” the doctor promised.

“Nothing is wrong with me,” Thane repeated. “You should go. Hackett needs to know what happened.”

Shepard sighed and left. The doctor activated her instrument and scanned him.

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” she said.

“As I previously stated,” he replied.

“Why did she bring you here?” she asked. “Your stress levels are a little elevated but that is to be expected in a situation like this.”

“She was concerned because my throat was dry. It was nothing. She is… very protective of me.”

The doctor smiled. “She is, isn’t she? You two give hope for the rest of us.”

Thane felt embarrassed. But since he was already feeling that, he might as well ask what he had been wondering. He might not get another chance like this.

“Might I ask you about something, doctor?”

“Of course. What is it, Thane?”

“Would you be so kind as to tell me about human mating habits?”

The doctor’s poker face was impeccable. She barely blinked. “I thought Mordin talked to you about that already.”

Thane was confused. Why would she think that Mordin had… Then it dawned on him. “No, I didn’t mean the physical mating, I meant commitment, bonding. You have your own traditions, do you not? Or is that not something humans do?”

She let out the minutest of breaths. “You mean marriage? Yes, we have many traditions concerning that. What would you like to know?”

“Whatever you can tell me, doctor.”

She sat down. “I’d offer you a brandy but this might not be the best of times to be sloshed. Make yourself comfortable, this is going to take a while. And you can call me Karin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who don't know what it means to be genre blind: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GenreBlindness
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback :)


	53. Duty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the delay. The week before last I wrote a FemShep/Feron oneshot if that interests you.

This is it, Robyn thought. Hackett had come aboard and given his speech. Anderson had briefed them on the situation in London. It was time to begin their last, desperate effort.

“Take us down, Joker,” she said.

“Aye, aye, ma’am.”

They spent the ride in silence, watching at their burning planet, humanity’s first home. London was… unrecognizable. Sure, some of the renowned landmarks were still standing, but that didn’t make up for the fact that the once beautiful city looked like the battlefield it had become.

The shuttle ride was bumpy. Cortez got them down safely which was more than could be said about the shuttle that had been carrying the heavy weapons they needed to take out a Hades cannon.

“We need to find that shuttle,” Robyn said to Liara and Garrus. “I’m dying to get my hands on some proper weapons so that I can shoot that bloody thing to bits.”

“Looks like we get to kill some Reapers while we’re at it,” Garrus replied. “Works for me.”

Robyn launched at another foe. The ground shook when she pulled the trigger. She heard Garrus swear.

“Aw, poor thing, is it getting hard to aim that rifle of yours?” she asked. “That is the beauty of the shotgun – it can hit things outside the shooting range, in genuine battle situations.”

“Not hard to hit something that is right in front of you.”

“My point exactly,” Robyn said. “Right now we don’t need finesse, we need to get the job done.”

They made it through the first throng of enemies. Robyn checked the coordinates for the downed shuttle and continued forward.

“What’s the plan, Shepard?” Liara asked.

“Beyond blasting that cannon to bits there is no plan.”

“I’m sorry about Earth,” Liara said with a gentle voice.

“Yeah, me too,” Robyn replied. “This has never been my home but it still hurts to see it like this. The Reapers have cost us all too much. It’s time to make them pay for it.”

“This is Cortez, I’m being pursued, I’m trying to get away but I- -“ was heard and then nothing.

“Cortez! Do you read me? Cortez?” Robyn tried, but to no avail. She took a deep breath. “Let’s push on.”

\--

Robyn looked at the burning wreckage of the Hades cannon. The easy part was over. Anderson’s shuttle picked them up.

“It’s good to see you, sir,” Robyn said and shook the admiral’s hand.

“And you,” he replied. “It seems like it has been forever.”

Anderson told them what had been happening and how they’d managed to survive. Coates sang his praises and Robyn knew that he wasn’t just kissing ass. Anderson was a smart and tough soldier who knew what he was doing. The shuttle landed at the Alliance command center, or an assortment of rubble and ruins that worked as such.

“Go find your people, boost morale,” Anderson told Robyn. “When you’re done, come find me.”

“Boost morale? I’m just another soldier, why would my presence make any difference?” Robyn asked.

“You may think yourself as just another soldier,” Coates said, “but that is not how these people see you. You are their hero, shining light, beacon of hope. I know it sounds corny, but they need all the hope they can get.”

Robyn shrugged and went about her business. She wanted to have a few words with her friends before the… whatever happened next. She stopped to speak with James who was hanging out on the street. Then she called Grunt, Jacob, Zaeed, Samara, and Jack. They were all in position, doing their own thing, and looking forward to the downfall of the Reapers. “Only your actions will be remembered. Choose them well,” Samara said to her. There was wisdom in that, though Robyn hoped that ending this war would not be a matter of choice.

Garrus was hanging out with Victus and the rest of the turian delegation.

Robyn greeted Victus. “I didn’t know that you were here, Primarch.”

“You were there for Palaven,” he replied. “It is only right that I should return the favor.”

Robyn nodded and went to talk to Garrus.

“So, here we are again, running against impossible odds, killing monsters, and making a final push for the beam,” he said. “Just like old times.”

“That’s what it seems like,” Robyn replied. “You know, I’ve heard that when most people spend time with their friends, it has nothing to do with saving the galaxy.”

“Is that so? What is it that they do then?”

“Go bowling?” Robyn suggested uncertainly. It had been a long time since she’d had a life that didn’t involve shooting things and saving the world. “People do that, don’t they?”

“Isn’t that where you throw balls at sticks and try to make them fall over?”

“Something like that?”

“Can you really see us doing that?” Garrus asked. She could hear that he was close to laughing.

“Imagine it. Grunt would lose his temper and break those sticks. Or throw the ball at someone,” she said, chuckling at the mental image. “You know, we ought to try that when this is over.”

“One way or another,” Garrus agreed. “Maybe there is bowling in heaven. I hope there’s at least a bar that caters to all species. If there is and I get there before you do, I’ll save you a seat.”

“There is no Shepard without Vakarian, remember? You aren’t going to that bar yet, my friend.”

“I’ll try my best to stay away,” he promised. “Pardon my insubordination, but I’m telling you: take care of yourself. Be deadly, be smart, be safe, and come back to us.”

“I’ll try my best.”

Liara didn’t have a speech to give, but a vision of future – light at the end of the tunnel. And it wasn’t a vorcha with a flamethrower.

Javik was looking like his usual glum self. Robyn wondered if he had any other expressions.

“I envy this cycle,” he said, completely catching her off guard.

“That isn’t something I would have expected to hear from you,” she said. “What do you envy about it?”

“There have been countless cycles through the millennia. Every one of them has faced the Reapers but none have made it this far.” 

“You did,” Robyn pointed out. “You’re here.”

“I appreciate that. I’m thankful that I got to see this, commander. You have hope. You can say, ‘There will be a tomorrow.’ We never got to say that.”

“There will be a tomorrow,” Robyn repeated slowly, thinking. “I like that. What will you do with your tomorrow?”

“Liara has asked me to write a book with her,” he replied. “I have never been anything but a soldier. After this battle it will be no longer necessary to be a soldier. I would like to try being something else. Being a scholar, an author… That sounds like a worthy pursuit.”

“That’s great, Javik,” Robyn said. “I’m looking forward to reading your book.”

Wrex was standing close by, waiting for the final assault.

“Hey, Wrex, how’s it going? Are you worried?” Robyn asked.

“No, and you don’t have to be, either. You can’t lose – you brought krogan,” he replied.

Robyn laughed. “Good point. How’s Bakara?”

“She’s already pregnant,” Wrex replied proudly.

“That’s awesome, congrats!”

“She keeps insisting we name the first Mordin,” Wrex grunted.

Robyn smiled but chose not to comment. Naming a child was something one shouldn’t get mixed up in. It was up to the parents. As far as she was concerned, Mordin was a fine name for a krogan.

Robyn left Wrex to do his thing and continued towards the war room. She found Thane hanging around in front of the war room door.

“Siha,” he said and pulled her into a tight hug. She could tell that he was worried.

“Have you spoken to Kolyat?” she asked.

“Yes, he is relatively safe. He managed to get a ride out of the Citadel and is headed to an old safe house of mine.”

“That’s good.”

“He told me to stay alive.”

“That’s good advice,” she told him. “I want you to stay alive, too. No, I said that wrong. I need you to stay alive.”

He looked at her with pleading eyes. “You must come through this, siha. I know that I am being selfish, but I need you. I want to marry you and have a family with you and grow old with you.”

“I love you,” she said. She couldn’t promise him anything, because she had the distinct feeling that going into the beam might be a one-way trip. “Whatever happens, remember that.”

“I love you,” he said and let her go.

As Robyn stepped through the door, she thought how coming close to death brought to the surface what he friends were like. Garrus was a realist who valued friendship and had a sense of humor. Liara saw beauty in the world. She had hope and a poetic streak. Javik thrived in battle but looked to the future. Wrex loved his family. Thane loved his son and Robyn and wanted to protect them. What was it that battle brought up in her? Robyn decided that someone else should figure that out. She had a job to do.

\--

Robyn limped towards the beam with a pistol in her hand. Her team was left behind, but alive. Waves and waves of Reapers were dead by her hand. She was so close to the beam, if only there wasn’t so much pain. The world felt like it was moving in slow motion. When she shot the final Reaper grunt, it seemed to take forever, but she staggered on. Only a few meters more. A couple of steps and she would be…

There was a white light. Maybe it was actually there and not a hallucination caused by the pain.

“Shepard, you there?”

“Anderson? Are you here, too?”

“Where are you?”

“I don’t know, I’ve been too afraid to look,” Robyn replied and opened her eyes. “This is a non-descript room full of corpses.”

“That sounds familiar,” Anderson replied. “Do you see a corridor?”

Robyn got up despite the pain. Her body was trying to tell her to get on with it and die already. She wasn’t inclined to humor it. “I think so. I’ll see where that leads.”

She limped along the corridor into a red, round room with a control panel in the middle. Anderson was already there.

“I’ve never been to this part of the Citadel,” Robyn said. “This is quite the room.”

“We need to open the arms so that the Crucible can…” Anderson’s voice was cut off and his face distorted in pain. His limbs stuck out in a strange way. 

The reason for this became apparent when the Illusive Man appeared.

“Bravo, Shepard,” he said. “I never thought you’d make it this far.”

“You look like shit,” Robyn said. He really did. It was just like Saren towards the end. Large sections of his face were no longer covered by skin. Something metallic-looking had come into view. His eyes were even creepier than they had been before.

“I have evolved,” he said. “Using the Reapers can give us power beyond anything we could have dreamed. The Crucible will allow us to control them, to use them to our advantage. Humanity will be elevated.”

“How blind are you? You have been indoctrinated. You can’t control them, they are controlling you!” Robyn yelled at him, keeping an eye on Anderson’s rigid form.

“That is not true! I took from them what I wanted.”

“You wanted to look like a crazy science experiment and turn human beings into husks despite spouting all the while ‘humanity first’ rhetoric?”

That got him angry. He tried to do some mind control shit on Robyn. She could feel him prodding at her mind, trying to break in. It hurt like a bitch but she held her own. She bit her lip and clutched her gun.

“You can still walk away from this,” she said when the pain subsided.

“That is not a possibility,” he replied.

“Your choice,” she said and shot him. 

Anderson was released and fell down with a grunt. “Open the arms, Shepard!”

“Right.” 

Robyn got to the control board and pushed the button. Then she sat down next to Anderson and they watched together as the arms opened.

“We did it,” Anderson said. “I’m proud of you, Shepard.”

“Thanks,” she replied. “That’s a nice view. Anderson?”

She looked at the admiral. He was gone.

“Shepard?” Hackett’s voice barked in the com. “Nothing is happening. The problem must be at your end.”

“Okay, I’m on it,” Robyn said. She didn’t have enough power to get up, but she crawled towards the control. Maybe she could reach it if she just…

\--

“Wake up.”

Robyn opened her bleary eyes. Where was she? This didn’t look like any kind of afterlife she’d ever heard of. She wasn’t in the control room any more. She focused on the transparent figure that had woken her up. It looked exactly like a kid she had seen burn on Earth.

“Who are you?”

“I am the Catalyst,” he said. “The Citadel is my home. It is a part of me. I control the Reapers. They are my solution to chaos.”

Robyn felt like she should be getting more of this. She decided that her head must be groggy because of all the damage.

“What chaos? You mean that out there?”

“That is only war. Chaos ensues because the created will always rebel against their creators. Synthetics and organics will fight. My creators found a solution. They created the cycle so that the synthetics would never entirely destroy the organics.”

“How is destroying organic life a solution to anything?” Robyn wanted to punch him so bad.

“The chaos only begins when organic life has evolved to a certain point,” he said. “That is when I call the Reapers. They do not destroy all organic life. Some is saved and cultivated, like your species was the previous time.”

“So you just sit here, staring at the galaxy, until you feel it is time to destroy it again?”

“I am a construct, an intellect. I do not get bored.”

“You’re just an AI?”

“As much as you are just an animal.”

“You say it was your creators who made the Reapers?”

“They gave them form. They became the first true Reaper. They did not approve of my solution, but it was inevitable. They created me to come up with a solution and the Reapers are the only way.”

“Their plan sort of backfired on them, huh?” Robyn said and rolled her eyes. Jeez louise, those idiots! This was the sort of thing that happened to people who were all numbers and no heart. “Why didn’t you destroy the Crucible? You must have known about it.”

“I believed that the plans had been eradicated,” he said. “Clearly organics are more resourceful than we realized.”

“Yes, we are. You have done nothing but underestimate us. Your solution sucks.”

“Your presence here proves that my solution will not work anymore. You have altered the variables. The Crucible changed me and that created new possibilities. You must choose what to do. It is your turn to create a solution.”

“You mean I can destroy the Reapers?” Robyn asked. She’d been waiting for that.

“It is within your ability to destroy us. But be warned – the Crucible will not discriminate. All synthetics will be targeted. Technology you rely on will be destroyed. The parts of you that are not organic will be destroyed as well. You could choose to control us.”

“The Illusive Man was right? He could have controlled the Reapers?”

“He could not – he was under our control. But you can. You can choose to lose your bodily form and live forever as a construct like me, controlling the Reapers. You could ensure that they never destroy organics again.”

“You want me to take your job? Not likely.”

“There is a third solution – synthesis. You could add your energy to the Crucible’s. It would create a new DNA that would be spread across the galaxy. Synthetics and organics would understand each other. The cycle would end, the Reapers would cease their harvest. The paths are open, but you have to choose,” he said, indicating the three platforms behind him. The one on the left was glowing blue while the one on the right was red. Red for destruction, blue for control, middle for synthesis.

Control was out of the question. The idea of synthesis sounded good at first. But when you put together organics and synthetics, what was the result? She thought of Saren, the Illusive Man, husks, the human Reaper embryo… That wasn’t right. She wouldn’t force everyone to be a bit of something they hated. 

Robyn lifted her chin and began walking towards the red podium. She was in such a bad shape that the walk took a lot of time. It was the longest walk of her life just as it would be the last. She thought of EDI and how much it would hurt Joker to lose her. She thought of Legion and his sacrifice to save his people. She thought of how the geth had protected the quarians who’d stood for them and how they’d helped their creators rebuild their world. She thought of Thane. She was sorry to cause him pain, to be another woman who he’d loved and lost. But there was no other choice, not one that she’d be able to live with – metaphorically speaking, of course, since she was about to die.

Commander Shepard took the final step and did what she had to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to follow.
> 
> I took some liberties with the dialogue, I hope you don't mind.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback!


	54. Epilogue: 17 Years Later

”Are you sure you have everything?” Thane asked.

“Yeah, dad, I’m sure,” his daughter replied. “I checked the list they sent. Twice, because I knew you’d ask.”

“Oh,” Thane said, inflated. He wished he had something to do so he could channel his worry in a productive way instead of fussing over her. He put his hands behind his back and assumed his usual stance.

Feliciana gave him the “parents always fuss over nothing” look teenagers are so good at. “Chill, dad, I’m going to be fine. Why can’t you be cool, like mom?”

“Hey, your dad is plenty cool. He’s fussing because he loves you.”

Thane smiled at his wife. She was always there when he needed her.

“Yeah, I know,” Feliciana replied, looking down at the ground. She might have mumbled something about loving them, too, not that she’d ever admit to having done so.

“It’s time. Say your goodbyes and hop in,” the pilot yelled.

“This is it,” Robyn said and pulled her daughter to a hug. “I know you’re ready. I know you’ll do great and knock or shoot them dead. Try to send us a message every now and again to tell us how you like it, okay?”

“Okay, mom. And thanks.”

Thane hugged her, too. “We love you, our badass kid.”

“If someone messes with you, Feli, just tell them that your big brother is krogan,” Berg said and headbutted his little sister affectionately. 

“No offence, bro, but I think they’d be more scared of mom than you,” Feliciana pointed out. “Or uncle Garrus.”

“Which reminds me – he asked me to pass on an invitation to visit him when you have shore leave on Palaven,” Robyn said. “Seeing his goddaughter would be a welcome distraction from his primarchal duties, or ‘all the shit he has to put up with’, to quote his own words.”

“I’ll do that. I miss uncle Garrus and aunt Tali,” Feliciana promised. “I think I have to go now.”

She grabbed her gear, waved them goodbye, and headed towards the shuttle. Her family waved back, growing misty-eyed. Well, not Berg, but her parents.

“Please, don’t begin, ‘It feels like just yesterday when’,” Berg said.

“We weren’t going to,” Robyn said.

“Yes, you were. I can see it from dad’s face. He is living some early memory of us.”

“I may have been,” Thane admitted. “There’s nothing wrong with being nostalgic on such an occasion as this. Our little girl is going to the army.”

“She’s not so little anymore,” his wife pointed out. “She’s already taller than us and she’ll get bigger when she hits the last growth spurt.”

“But she’s only fifteen.”

“Honey, you were five when you were given to the Compact and I was twelve when I lost my family.”

“I know, I know.”

“She’ll be fine, dad,” said Berg and hugged his father awkwardly. “I have to get going, too. My shuttle is about to leave.”

His mother hugged him warmly. “Are you excited to get back to school?”

Berg’s eyes began to shine. “Astrophysics is awesome, mom, you have no idea.”

“I really, truly don’t,” she replied. “You are so much smarter than me, son of mine. Your dad and I are proud of you. And we love you.”

“I love you, too. I’ll call you later,” he said and walked away.

The parents were left alone to stare at their son’s receding back.

“I can’t believe they’re gone,” Robyn said.

“What’s the plan, Admiral Krios?” Thane asked.

“Let’s go home.”

\--

On the way back, Robyn thought of the day a couple of years ago when they’d finally told their kids about the war and their roles in it.

“Sit down, please. There is something we need to tell you,” she’d said.

“It’s okay, mom, we already had ‘the talk’,” Feli had told her.

“Sorry, what?”

“About where babies come from. We had that when you told us that we were adopted,” her daughter had continued. “That’s why I was able to correct Mary-Sue when she tried to tell me that babies come from the stork.”

Robyn had grunted. “Oh, right, her mother was furious at me. ‘How could you talk to a child about such things? It’s horrid!’”

Thane had chuckled. “You replied, ‘If it’s horrid, Jimmie-Bob doesn’t know what he’s doing.’”

“She was being such a hypocrite! Why shouldn’t children know where babies come from? It’s not like they aren’t going to find out some day. Telling them stories about storks or babies just falling from their mommies’ stomachs makes them scared and confused,” Robyn had replied. “But that wasn’t what we wanted to talk to you about. Berg, you are going to leave for school soon, and you’ll be going to the army in a couple of years, Feli. Your father and I think it’s time you learned of the Reaper War.”

The kids had looked at each other. “We figured you had played a part in it,” Berg had said. “I mean, there’s uncle Garrus and uncle Wrex. How would you know them, if you hadn’t been in the war?”

Robyn had sighed. “What have you heard of Commander Shepard?”

“The first human Spectre,” Feli had said. “She fought against the Reapers, saved the Council, killed the Collectors, and went MIA at the end of the Reaper War. Didn’t it end because of her?”

“Wasn’t she dead at some point?” Berg had asked. “I remember hearing that the Reapers got her but a terrorist group brought her back to continue fighting.”

“Why do you ask? Did you know her?” Feli had asked.

Berg had been quicker than his sister. “I think we are looking at Commander Shepard, Feli.”

“What? Seriously? Is that true, mom?”

“Yes, it’s true.”

“But, mom, that’s awesome! Why does no one know? Why haven’t you told us before? You’re a war hero!” Feli had enthused.

“Not everyone sees it like that, darling,” she had replied. “There are many out there who’d court martial me or worse. They’d think I ruined the world if they knew what I had to do.”

“What did you have to do?” Berg had asked.

And Robyn had told them. Not everything, but enough, from the moment she had begun hunting Saren to the moment she’d made her choice in the Citadel. The kids had listened and asked questions she and Thane had answered. He had put his arm around her to support her.

“I’m sorry you had to do that, mom,” Berg had finally said.

“Me, too. That’s horrible,” Feli had agreed. “But how did you survive? The AI or whatever said that you’d die. And why don’t people know that you survived?”

Robyn had looked at Thane. This was his part of the story.

“Two weeks later they had fixed some of the satellites and com systems. That was when I got a call that made me fall to my knees and thank every god there is,” he’d said. “The people at the Citadel had not been useless. When the disaster had struck, they’d organized emergency response crews to sweep the station for survivors. One such crew had found her quite soon after everything that happened. They had gotten her into a hospital where they’d put her into a medically induced coma. One of the doctors working for the hospital had recognized her – she’d helped the doctor at some point. The doctor had contacted the Alliance, who’d sent people to get her and moved her to an Alliance facility for intensive care. The people at the facility had contacted Garrus who called me. I had trouble getting to her because we weren’t married, but they finally let me see her and wait for her to be brought out of coma. It took a year because of all the damage and the lack of equipment. They had to do many surgeries and- -” he’d taken a break to collect himself. “But you don’t need to know that. The important thing is that she survived.”

Robyn had smiled at her husband and squeezed his hand. “Do you know, what was the first thing I remember after waking up? It was your dad, asking me to marry him.”

“That’s romantic,” Feli had commented.

“It would have been more so if she’d said yes,” Thane had replied.

“You actually said no?” Berg had been astonished. He was perceptive enough to know how much his parents loved each other and how unusual it was for a couple their age to be so in love with each other. He had compared them to the parents of his friends and had noticed the difference. “Why?”

“I had just woken up from coma,” Robyn had replied. “I had no idea how long I was going to live and what my quality of live was going to be. My body had taken massive damage – who knew if that was reparable or not? I love your father, I didn’t want to doom him into a life with a quadriplegic.”

“I wouldn’t have cared,” Thane had pointed out.

“But I would have,” she’d replied. “The rehabilitation and physical therapy took ages, but in two years I was almost back to my old self. It was then that I decided that I could trust my stupid body not to give up on me just yet, so I said yes.” Robyn had not told her kids that she’d been convinced of her physical fitness when she and Thane been able to have sex in a position she’d always wanted to but had never had the guts to try. Thane had given her a look that had made her certain that he’d been thinking about that, too.

“So you got married, moved to a colony, and started taking down slavers and writing crime novels?” Berg had said.

“Pretty much.”

“You still haven’t told us why the world thinks you went MIA,” Feli pointed out. “The Alliance obviously knows that you’re alive.”

“After I woke up, I told Admiral Hackett everything,” Robyn had said. “He agreed that we should keep it quiet. Experience has shown the both of us that I would never live a peaceful day if it was known what I’d done. I didn’t want to be Commander Shepard, the Savior of the Citadel anymore. I just wanted to be Robyn Krios.”

“Admiral Robyn Krios,” her husband had said proudly and smiled at her. “The Council and Alliance command know. Our friends know, and now you, but that’s it. We don’t want anyone else to know.”

“Which is why we must ask you not to tell anyone,” Robyn had said. “If people knew, we’d all be at risk. Someone would try to harm you and it would kill me if something happened to you. Please?”

Feli and Berg had looked at each other again. “We promise.”

“It would be so cool to tell my friends,” Feli had said. “But I won’t, I promise. I get why it’s important to keep this a secret. It’s cool to have such badass parents.”

“Thank you.”

\--

“We’re here,” Thane announced, pulling Robyn back from her reverie.

“So we are.”

They got inside and shut the door. 

“The house seems so quiet without the kids,” Robyn said. “What do we do now?”

“I honestly don’t know,” replied Thane. “What did we used to do before the kids?”

“Have sex, kill stuff, read stuff, exercise, write stuff,” Robyn listed.

“So… Mostly what we have done since.”

“Yeah,” she answered. “Damn, it doesn’t feel like it’s already been thirteen years.”

“You make time fly, siha.”

She chuckled and kissed him. “Only when I’m with you.”

\--

After they’d married, Robyn and Thane had spent a lot of time taking it easy, just the two of them. At first it had been fantastic – they’d spent entire days naked, enjoying each other’s company. By time they had grown a little restless; not because of each other but because they were not used to doing nothing. They’d talked about getting regular jobs, but they had not been able to come up with anything normal they could do.

“I hate this,” Robyn had growled at a guide some employment agency had put together. “I’m good at killing! That’s practically the only thing I know how to do. How am I supposed to live up to my potential when I can’t do what I do best?”

“Then why don’t we do what we do best?” Thane had asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Crimes didn’t end with the war, siha. The galaxy is still a dark place. There is a niche for people such as you and me. We could track down criminals that slip through and take them down.”

“We could kill slavers. We could save people,” Robyn had said, getting more excited by the minute. “That’s a great idea! We have the money, the knowledge, and the skills, not to mention the time.”

“It’s going to be dangerous.”

“Good! No one has tried to kill me in years, I’m bored.”

And that was how the Krioses had begun their career as slaver hunters. They had been so efficient that they’d become known in slaver circles as Cannonball and Silent Death. There was quite the bounty for anyone who’d bring them dead or alive, preferably dead, to the head honchos.

Thirteen years ago they’d broken into a massive slaver base. They’d had good intel on its size, so they’d asked Grunt and Feron to help. The fight had been tricky and taken a long time. Too long, because when they got into the slave cages, they discovered that the slavers had had enough time to kill almost every one of their slaves, save two children – a turian girl of two and a krogan boy of four. The documentation showed that they’d been taken with their whole families who were now dead.

Robyn had sat down to take the crying girl into her arms and hug the scared boy to her. She’d looked at them and known.

“Thane, these are our kids.”

Her husband had seen the determination in her eyes. “Their families are dead. They have no one to claim them,” he’d said and crouched down next to his wife. “No one but us.”

“It could be trouble,” Feron had said. “But I have a feeling you won’t care.”

“Fuck that shit, these are our kids,” Robyn had replied.

Grunt had laughed. “You make a great mom, Shepard.”

“It’s Krios, Grunt. And thanks.”

“I’ll take care of the paperwork”, Feron had promised. He’d taken over as the Shadow Broker while Liara and Javik were indulging themselves in a life of study.

“Thank you, Feron,” Robyn had said. “Come on, let’s take them home.”

“What are you going to call them?” Feron had asked.

“We’ll talk about that and get back to you,” Robyn had replied. “Thank you for today. You are welcome to visit when we get everything under control at home.”

“Which means that I’ll see you in fifteen years or so,” Feron had quipped. “Do enjoy the life of a couple with kids.” After that he’d laughed.

\--

The passing years hadn’t been easy. They were a family in which every member was a different species. There were people, who couldn’t be tolerant of that, but nobody ever said anything bigoted to Robyn twice, she made sure of that. They were lucky to live in a multi-species colony that was mostly used to people of all sizes, colors, and shapes.

When the kids were about to start school, Robyn and Thane realized that they’d need to have a job their kids could say out loud at school. “My parents kill slavers and take their money” was not an appropriate essay for an eight-year-old to write. That’s when they’d come up with Iocasta Dulan, the asari detective whose adventures had made them famous. Or would have, if they hadn’t used a pen name. They wrote them together – Thane contributed the technical elements and the crimes, Robyn wrote the humor and the sex.

Having a more socially acceptable job did not make them stop their slaver hunting activities. They kept it up and even took the kids when they were old enough. It was their family’s quality time together. Berg and Feli were taught how to shoot and fend for themselves from a very early age. But more than that – they were taught when to shoot and when not to. They were taught right and wrong, and they took those lessons to heart. They grew up to be good kids and their parents were proud.

\--

Robyn’s omnitool beeped.

“Hey, Liara. How are you? How’s Javik?”

“I’ll tell you in a minute. First things first: how do you feel?” Liara asked. She knew what day it was.

“I’m fine. The house is so empty and silent. I can hear myself think which is weird,” Robyn replied.

“Did you cry?”

“Thane got a little teary-eyed.”

“I did not!” he stated and hugged his wife from behind. “How dare you say such things about me to our friends?”

“It’s okay to cry a little,” Robyn said. “But we’ll be fine. We have another novel in the works and a job in couple of weeks.”

“Sounds good,” replied Liara. “I have some news.”

“Good, bad, or in between?”

“I’m pregnant.”

“Congratulations, Liara, that’s fantastic!” Robyn said with a wide smile. “How is Javik taking it?”

“He’s ecstatic if you can imagine it,” Liara said, laughing.

“I have trouble picturing that,” Robyn admitted. “I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen him smile.”

“You should come over so that you can see it yourself.”

“We’ll do that. Congrats, again, and thanks for the call.”

“Thank you, Robyn. Bye.”

The Krioses were silent for a while.

“Wow.”

“You can say that again,” Thane said. “I thought Liara was a little young to be entering her Matron stage.”

“I believe it can be triggered earlier if you have lots of sex.”

“Ah,” Thane stated. “It’s good that they are happy.”

“Yes.”

“Speaking of which, I forgot to tell you that Kolyat called earlier,” he said and nuzzled Robyn’s neck. “He said to say hi from them both. They are excited to get to see their students again.”

Robyn smiled. Kolyat and Jack had gotten together after the war. Despite their tempestuous natures, they had managed to stay together and even teach at the same school. Jack had once told Robyn that they got to deal with other people’s teenagers so much that they didn’t want their own. They were always happy to see Berg and Feli, though.

“When you think about how much crap we all have had to face, it’s a miracle how happy we are,” Robyn said. “I mean, no one’s life is perfect, but ours is pretty damn close.”

“I agree,” Thane said and turned her around in his arms so that he could see her face. “But I would be happy with any life as long as I have you and the kids.”

“Right back at you.”

They shared a kiss that said what they felt: I love you and I always will.

“So… Where do you want to celebrate us living alone again?” Robyn asked.

“Living room sofa?” Thane suggested. He was purring loudly.

“Living room sofa it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End.
> 
> I have trouble believing that this story is finally finished. It has taken quite some time, but here we are. If you have stuck with the story to the very end you have my sincere gratitude.
> 
> This last chapter could have been a lot longer but I decided against recounting how every character is doing. I leave that to your imagination.
> 
> <3 Thank you and have a nice summer! <3


End file.
